Which eternity band do you prefer — oval or emerald cut?

[Gypsy]

Seems like such a shame to leave it unworn like that for so many years! Maybe try talking to your husband - I can imagine being sentimentally attached to the centre stone, but not the setting. And definitely not the setting your MIL picked out - it would be one thing if it were your choice!

No. Just no. I would reset my diamond and give her back the setting. If she likes it so much then she can have it. It's atrocious. So big and bulky.

I'd say, "It sits so high I am afraid to wear it as I am constantly banging on things and so it sits in its box. And so I thought you might enjoy it as a cocktail ring. I NEEDED something I don't have to baby, for everyday. And I don't have a cocktail ring lifestyle."

And then girl: you do you.

I understand she's your MIL. I really do. But it was unreasonable of her to ask you to do that. And boundaries are thing. And this is her limiting your enjoyment of the symbol of your marriage. NO. Just no. Create the boundary, stick with it, and remember: People pleasing is different from consideration.

Consideration is motivated by genuine empathy and kindness, while people-pleasing is driven by a fear of disapproval and a need for external validation, often at the expense of one's own needs.

CONFIDENCE my dear. Not people pleasing!

Especially when someone is inconsiderate of you like your MIL was with this ring. Don't reward that crap with appeasement.

 

[kenny]

@Gypsy GREAT post!

All this ubiquitous (so-called proper ) faux "niceness" make me barf ... especially when it gets a pass because of that other F-word ... family.

Sometimes the folks who make themselves doormats to family members have the most miserable lives and relationships.

Life's too short to live yours for others!