When to take off the E-ring

[dschmo]

Hey PSer's

First time poster here with a question for all those currently engaged or married.

I just purchased an E-ring for my GF and am planning to propose in a month or so. I am very excited and I know she will be too...which brings me to the issue at hand (no pun intended...well maybe a little). She is very emotional and I have a feeling she will be so excited that she won't want to take the ring off unless the devil himself yanks it off her finger; now this is an awesome feeling for me, but I worry about the well being of the ring. It is a .70 ct. stone in a simple 14k gold solitaire (4-prong) setting. My question boils down to, what are some general guidelines for activities for which the e-ring should be removed for fear of damage or stone-loosening (or God-forbid coming out)?

Now, I promise I will not take what is said here as gospel truth because I know this depends a lot on the skill of metal-worker, jeweler, etc. but I would like to know the opinions of the fine people on Pricescope on the matter.

Here's some examples of activities I would question: intense cardio exercise (running, treadmill, etc.), gym workouts involving weights or equipment, sleeping at night (she rolls around a lot), riding roller coasters or other amusement park rides (we have a vacation planned).

Those are just things that immediately come to mind, opinions on those things or any other input you guys/gals have is very much appreciated.

Thanks!

P.S. I do plan on getting it insured once it comes in and I get it appraised, but obviously I'd like to avoid any troubles to start with.

 

[SB621]

I think my first week i was super careful with my ering- after that anything goes. I laid down 1800ft of sod once with my erings on. I believe they are meant to be worn so I pretty much never take my set off. I might occasionally when I do dishes or something that can really gunk it up, but besides that I'm an all bets are off kind of person. I know others here do take theirs off at night etc, but honestly I feel pretty naked without my set. And if I constantly took it off and on then I would probably loose it...in fact I know I would.

But you are also talking to someone who got rid of her orginal ering within 2 years of getting married. I have had 2 upgrades and a few dress changes since then. My DH tells me he is glad as long as I don't change out the man!

Goodluck on your upcoming engagment. I'm sure she will love it and I really wouldn't worry about the ring. It is insured. While there is sentiment attached to it the really important commitment is between you two. She should wear, love and enjoy her ring. Things happen unfortunately and that is why we have insurance!

 

[mary poppins]

Congratulations on finding the one you want to marry! Don't forget to come back with hand shots.


While you're waiting for responses, here are some prior threads on topic:

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/when-do-you-not-wear-your-diamond-engagement-ring.109851/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/when-do-you-not-wear-your-diamond-engagement-ring.109851/[/URL]

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-sleep-with-your-engagement-ring-on.102595/page-2']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/do-you-sleep-with-your-engagement-ring-on.102595/page-2[/URL]

 

[dschmo]

SB: thanks for your thoughts and well wishes it sounds like you share a similar mindset with my GF so your input is appreciated

and mary: thanks much for the additional info, and I promise I will!

 

[amc80]

I never take my ring off. I run, do the elliptical, etc....and it stays on my hand. My husband made me take it off for softball...which I fought, but whatev. The only time I didn't wear my ring was in late pregnancy when it was just too tight.

Oh! The other time I take it off is when we go into port on a cruise. I will put it in the room safe and just wear my wedding band. But as soon as we are back on board it goes back on the finger.

 

[Circe]

I think it's really sweet that you're concerned ... but honestly, I kinda think it's an issue the person wearing the ring gets to decide on (within reason and assuming they're fully informed ... it'd be another story if you were talking about three-sided pave, or something: then I'd suggest advising the wearer on its delicacy before stepping back to let them make their own judgement call).

I don't take my ring off. The eternity bands will come off when I do chin-ups or silver-smith, but either the e-ring or the anniversary ring is *always* on me. Before I had those, I had another pair of diamond rings, one on each hand, that I wore for 7 years straight without taking them off, and they're fine, too. It's the beauty of jewelry: it's tougher than we are. If hands can do it safely, generally a decently made, non-finicky ring can, too. And for the times when it can't ... well, that's the beauty of insurance.

On another forum, I recently saw a post from a young woman whose fiance had taken the ring off her finger as she was on the way to the gym. (Not equating you to him, btw - just seemed apropos of the general issue.) If my husband had ever tried that, we would have had words, both because icky symbolism, and because it strikes me as infantalizing/controlling, to assume that a woman wouldn't have the brains or knowledge to consider the various factors and decide for herself ....

 

[JewelFreak]

I don't wear my rings most of the time at home. I put them in a little dish I keep in the kitchen, so always know where they are (& cats can't get 'em out to play with). I don't like getting them dirty when cooking, etc., hate getting soap on them, & want to avoid knocking them on something & damaging them.

Whether to wear them all the time forever or not is an individual preference. It's lovely that you're so emotionally invested in the ring, but frankly, it isn't your business -- it's up to the lady to decide. They are her rings. You don't say what kind of stone it is -- if it's a diamond, she can wear it pretty much any time, anywhere, without much worry as long as it's well made. If it's a more sensitive type of gem, you can ask here or look up its traits online for her -- but otherwise, nice as you are, butt out & leave it to her.

Congratulations in advance!

--- Laurie

 

[dschmo]

Circe and Laurie: Thank you both for putting it in perspective. You're both right of course, she will be the one to decide how, when, and where she wants to wear it, and I would never presume to tell her otherwise. I was just curious for info. I am an engineer so it seems that by default my brain is always set to the analytical and logical it's how I'm programmed I suppose! But that's why I need to be put in my place by folks like yourselves sometimes on issues like this!!

With that said, I'm still curious as to what people's opinions are and would love to hear more!

BTW Laurie, it is a diamnd so your point on that is well-received

 

[missy]

I don't wear my rings most of the time at home. I put them in a little dish I keep in the kitchen, so always know where they are (& cats can't get 'em out to play with). I don't like getting them dirty when cooking, etc., hate getting soap on them, & want to avoid knocking them on something & damaging them.

Whether to wear them all the time forever or not is an individual preference. It's lovely that you're so emotionally invested in the ring, but frankly, it isn't your business -- it's up to the lady to decide. They are her rings. You don't say what kind of stone it is -- if it's a diamond, she can wear it pretty much any time, anywhere, without much worry as long as it's well made. If it's a more sensitive type of gem, you can ask here or look up its traits online for her -- but otherwise, nice as you are, butt out & leave it to her.

Congratulations in advance!

--- Laurie

I agree with Laurie. It should be up to your dw and not you and there is no right or wrong. It is up to the individual.

I take my rings off immediately when I get home because I just like the feeling of no jewelry on when I am home. And while I wear my rings most of the time when I am out I don't all the time. I don't wear them cycling, running etc. My dh trusts me and doesn't "need" me to wear the rings so people know I am married yanno?

Congratulations on your upcoming engagement and please come back with pics!

 

[Laila619]

I'm with Missy, I take mine off as soon as I get home. And I definitely don't wear it doing physical activities or showering/sleeping. I think it's best to treat fine jewelry with a lot of care so it'll last for a lifetime.

 

[maccers]

I usually take mine off when I get home; I always take it off when I'm playing sports, at the gym etc...why? My ring has filigree, milgrain and some architectural work that I want to last a long, long time. Plus it makes me bonkers when my stones get dirty quickly. Some of the ladies on my teams play with their rings on...part of me wishes I could do that but mostly I'm too nervous. I don't want to damage it and I'm also worried that I could sprain my finger and it would be stuck on my hand! Ultimately, as others have said, it comes down to what the wearer is comfortable with -- she may or may not take into consideration what the setting is like.

FWIW, it's a good question to ask for many reasons, just keep in mind, you may not be able to influence her decision.

 

[dschmo]

thanks for all the continued feedback! maccers and missy, I promise I won't be trying to tell her what to do, just a novice trying to browse some good info and opinions in case she asks and for my own curiosity. I'm keeping the engagement a total surprise, but once it happens I'll send her back here if she happens to ask me about it!

 

[momhappy]

I wear my rings 24/7. I will sometimes take them off at night. Rings are meant to be worn. If a cardio work out damages my ring in some way, then there was something wrong with the ring.... I am also a freak about keeping my rings clean, so I clean them regularly. If you are that concerned about it, have it insured, but let her wear the ring and enjoy it.

 

[SB621]

You know if diamonds fell out of rings for riding roller coasters then I would be at a theme park everyday literally being rained down with diamonds....that is quite possible my dream

My DH just read through this thread quickly and gives you a few words of wisdom- I hope you don't mind me quoting him. "If you love her, once you give her the ring you will never bring it up again. You won't tell her what to do or make suggestions. When asked- give your honest opinion. Other then that- happy wife, happy life. Don't go looking for trouble when it doesn't exist." I love that man!

Wearing rings will vary on the person and her physical activity. She will figure it out. I don't think you need to figure it out.

Still waiting for pictures!

 

[Dancing Fire]

I just purchased an E-ring for my GF and am planning to propose in a month or so. I am very excited and I know she will be too...which brings me to the issue at hand (no pun intended...well maybe a little). She is very emotional and I have a feeling she will be so excited that she won't want to take the ring off unless the devil himself yanks it off her finger; now this is an awesome feeling for me, but I worry about the well being of the ring. It is a .70 ct. stone in a simple 14k gold solitaire (4-prong) setting. My question boils down to, what are some general guidelines for activities for which the e-ring should be removed for fear of damage or stone-loosening (or God-forbid coming out)?

Thanks!

My wife been wearing the same style setting in 14K WG for the past 9 yrs w/o any problems except that its starting to turn yellow.

 

[lknvrb4]

I wear mine all the time minus showering, cooking, or working in the garden.

 

[Polished]

I literally went for years with an old vintage diamond ring I used to wear all the time and I can't remember cleaning it once. It was simply ignorance, I wish someone had told me how beautifully my diamond would have sparkled if I'd cleaned the darn thing. Simarlarly, I think it doesn't hurt to be informed about activities that may potentially harm a ring, or put undue wear and tear on it that you may want to avoid. Reading suggestions of what others do, on threads like these, may help someone determine how they think they could best look after their ring while still leaving them free to make their own choices regarding care.

 

[dschmo]

Thanks to all for your continued thoughts and opinions. Again, I promise I won't be telling anyone how or when to wear anything; I'm super excited about seeing her wear it all the time myself! I can't wait, in fact! I'm just trying to learn a little, which I am surely doing with all the responses I've seen.

My DH just read through this thread quickly and gives you a few words of wisdom- I hope you don't mind me quoting him. "If you love her, once you give her the ring you will never bring it up again. You won't tell her what to do or make suggestions. When asked- give your honest opinion. Other then that- happy wife, happy life. Don't go looking for trouble when it doesn't exist." I love that man!

SB: your DH sounds like a wise, wise man. You can quote that to him from me if you'd like

Still waiting for pictures!

The proposal is planned for mid-July so unfortunately it will be a little while but I promise pictures will be up ASAP!

My wife been wearing the same style setting in 14K WG for the past 9 yrs w/o any problems except that its starting to turn yellow.

Thanks DF!

 

[Ally T]

I wear mine 24/7. I wear rubber gloves for washing up & gardening gloves for gardening. I do take the diamond rings off for showering, bathing the children & hand lotion, but they go straight back on as I fear I'd lose them or something. They get cleaned twice a week to keep them gorgeous. I wear them for the gym, running & just everything really.

 

[maccers]

If she wears her ring all the time, it's because she loves it.

If she takes off her ring to protect it, it's because she loves it.

Either way, it's for a good reason.

 

[rosetta]

24/7

I take them off to clean and put cream on my hands. Then they go straight back on. I'd definitely lose them otherwise!

 

[iluvshinythings]

I wore mine most of the time. (divorced) I spent many hours in it at the gym and running and never had a problem. I removed it when painting, making meatloaf or kneading bread and wore gloves when I cleaned or washed dishes. I usually wore it while sleeping. The only time I didn't wear it was when showering, swimming, scuba diving or applying lotion. I bought a similar but fake set for gardening and travel so I could keep the real thing safe.

The only time I had a problem was unpacking files out of a box at work. The center diamond popped out of the setting. Luckily it was insured.

Congratulations and best wishes!

 

[dschmo]

If she wears her ring all the time, it's because she loves it.

If she takes off her ring to protect it, it's because she loves it.

Either way, it's for a good reason.

well said!!

 

[PintoBean]

I'm spastic and accident prone, so I keep a ring box in my purse just in case. When I come home, rings come off asap and are placed in the same place - on a tissue on the corner of the dresser. DH shakes his head at me. Now we have upgraded the tissue to one of these cutie ring holders we saw at the check out counter at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. There were a couple different animals, but we went with a cat BC of our fur babies.

 

[rubybeth]

I literally wear my rings constantly. I have kind of large knuckles relative to my finger size, so taking rings off and then back on all the time really gets uncomfortable. My expensive items are insured in case of damage, so I don't feel too worried about it, and I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder! I wear gloves when I do DIY projects or housework with chemical cleaners since I have sensitive skin, so that keeps the rings safe then, but I keep them on when I do the elliptical and weights at the gym, and wear them into the pool and hot tub. I'm sure some people would be horrified by this.

 

[gem_anemone]

I usually only take my rings off only when I am doing something where they may get mucky, damaged, or they would annoy me. We have ring holders in both bathrooms and in the bedroom. I never put the rings anywhere else besides the holders or my jewelry box, so I shouldn't lose them. I don't take them off in public. I usually only take them off if I am at home doing deep cleaning with chemicals, dirty gardening, cooking with my hands, or scrubbing pots. I sometimes shower with them on. I sometimes play sports with them on. I sometimes sleep with them on. But sometimes I take them off when I do those activities. I guess it depends how aware I am of the rings on my finger.

My rings are insured, I get them inspected at least every 6 months, I have an ultra sonic cleaner at home, I keep up with the maintenance, so because I can clean them as often as I want and they are protected I feel no worry in wearing them as much as I want. I like them, I'm married, and I want to wear them as much as possible.

I think it is up to your lady to decide what she is comfortable with and to make sure her level of security is met. I guess if you want to participate the best thing for you to do would be to make sure the ring is insured before you give it to her. Also sometimes we are driving by the jeweler and my husband asks if I would like to stop and have them cleaned. It's kind of cute

 

[Octavia]

I wear mine all the time unless I'm doing something that would be unsanitary (i.e. making meatloaf) or dangerous (i.e. when we go sailing). But my rings are pretty modest by PS standards, and I'm also forgetful so if I take them off, I might go for days before putting them back on. At least this way I usually know where they are!

 

[arkieb1]

Hi simple solitaires are usually fine for wearing all the time unless you are doing something like renovating or working with rocks or something really hard where you could chip the stone or smash the band out of shape. I wore my e-ring for years and years and it was fine. Then I upgraded to a more expensive and delicate style, now I am more careful and take my rings off at night, when I shower, when I garden, when I do anything active. So I think it depends on the type of ring or rings you have the type of lifestyle you have too.

 

[HollyDolly]

I'm fairly careful with mine (I have a 6 prong 14k white gold solitaire and a BGD dream half eternity for a wedding band with a spacer in between). I take them off for sleeping and showering, hand cream. I wear them all day at work including hand washing. I leave them on if I've been out and come back home but don't put them on if I'm staying in all day.

We are on holiday at the moment which has caused me a bit of a dilemma, Im not keen on wearing them in the pool, for sun lotion etc, but I'm equally reticent about the idea of leaving them in the safe where I can't see them! I have ended up just wearing them all the time (not for sleeping) and have enjoyed checking out my new tan line (first holiday since being engaged/married) and watching them sparkle in the sun!

One thing I would say to those who never take theirs off, aren't you worried about them getting stuck? My MIL can't get her set off after not removing it at all for 32 years and romantic as that is it kind of creeps me out too!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Your first task after purchasing the ring should be to have it insured.

Then leave it up to fate. To try and control where/when/how she wears it is pretty over the top. Let her enjoy it and wear it how she wants to.