When to move on and adopt another to love?

[stardust97]

Oh gosh I feel so sorry for you and I know exactly how you feel. I lost my dog to my ex and his family too. Almost 2 years now and I still cant look at her pics or think about her without crying. It's awful. I worry about her constantly and I have stayed in touch with some of his family simply because I want to know she is always ok. I'd want her back if anything were ever to happen to them but I don't hear about her anymore. She was like a child to me too. It must be sooo hard to live so close and not be able to see her. I am on the other side of the country from mine I don't think you'll ever get over your little one, but I believe in signs too and I'd go with your heart ...I think it's telling you it's time.

ETA: Just saw the rest of the posts, and your beautiful girl! You sound really happy about her and your new future. It is so great that you also go the rescue route...they are always so grateful for their new home

 

[tammy77]

just watched all four videos: wow! she's so bright and alert....not what i pictured when i heard "older" dog! she is a lovely lady.

This! She's a DOLL! I can't wait to hear about her when you visit/go pick her up!

 

[audball]

just watched all four videos: wow! she's so bright and alert....not what i pictured when i heard "older" dog! she is a lovely lady.

She certainly is.

 

[audball]

Oh gosh I feel so sorry for you and I know exactly how you feel. I lost my dog to my ex and his family too. Almost 2 years now and I still cant look at her pics or think about her without crying. It's awful. I worry about her constantly and I have stayed in touch with some of his family simply because I want to know she is always ok. I'd want her back if anything were ever to happen to them but I don't hear about her anymore. She was like a child to me too. It must be sooo hard to live so close and not be able to see her. I am on the other side of the country from mine I don't think you'll ever get over your little one, but I believe in signs too and I'd go with your heart ...I think it's telling you it's time.

ETA: Just saw the rest of the posts, and your beautiful girl! You sound really happy about her and your new future. It is so great that you also go the rescue route...they are always so grateful for their new home

I'm sorry you've endured the same pain. You just don't really ever get over it completely. And thank you, she really is a beautiful little girl.

 

[audball]

just watched all four videos: wow! she's so bright and alert....not what i pictured when i heard "older" dog! she is a lovely lady.

This! She's a DOLL! I can't wait to hear about her when you visit/go pick her up!

Thanks tammy! She is a doll Hopefully she'll be Mama's little doll in no time!

 

[JewelFreak]

Just watched the vids -- she is ! Good movement too. Responsive & busy & cheerful, just perfect! She looked so proud of herself with that toy, I grinned from ear to ear. That's a girl who will bring a lot of laughs & love into your life.

While I watched the video, my youngest Siberian, Charlie (a girl), heard them barking & came zooming in here, jumped up on the windowsill to find the alien canine, then turned & cocked her head sideways at the computer. I think she wants to be friends!

--- Laurie

 

[audball]

Just watched the vids -- she is ! Good movement too. Responsive & busy & cheerful, just perfect! She looked so proud of herself with that toy, I grinned from ear to ear. That's a girl who will bring a lot of laughs & love into your life.

While I watched the video, my youngest Siberian, Charlie (a girl), heard them barking & came zooming in here, jumped up on the windowsill to find the alien canine, then turned & cocked her head sideways at the computer. I think she wants to be friends!

--- Laurie

She is super cute. She loves the toys! I can't wait to buy all kinds of things for her to destroy

Charlie sounds super cute! I'd love to see pictures!!

 

[Autumnovember]

Audball -

I followed your previous threads and I'm so glad to hear everything is working out in your favor, even if Molly can't be part of that.

This thread is such a great reminder why I got my dog from a rescue and it makes me want to adopt an older dog next time for the reasons you and the others have talked about.

So much good spirited love in this thread, you can just feel it reading the responses.

You will love Mimi so much, no doubt about that. Can't wait to hear some updates when you get here. She is going to be so happy to have such a good mom!

 

[audball]

Audball -

I followed your previous threads and I'm so glad to hear everything is working out in your favor, even if Molly can't be part of that.

This thread is such a great reminder why I got my dog from a rescue and it makes me want to adopt an older dog next time for the reasons you and the others have talked about.

So much good spirited love in this thread, you can just feel it reading the responses.

You will love Mimi so much, no doubt about that. Can't wait to hear some updates when you get here. She is going to be so happy to have such a good mom!

Thank you AN! I'm excited about the possibilities. We're waiting to hear back from the foster Mom about logistics...hope all goes well.

 

[JewelFreak]

Charlie is a toy destroyer too, Audball. I call her The Terminator. Toughest ones, designed to be so-called indestructable, last maybe 15 minutes. She is 8 going on 6 months, has never realized she isn't a puppy anymore. Your Mimi-to-be looks similar -- I love her little puppy-happy expression when she trotted with that toy in her mouth in the video.

This is Charlie. She is too rough on her roommate Buck, who is 14 & fairly rickety but sweet sweet, so I have to keep a lid on her energy. Not easy!

 

[audball]

Charlie is a toy destroyer too, Audball. I call her The Terminator. Toughest ones, designed to be so-called indestructable, last maybe 15 minutes. She is 8 going on 6 months, has never realized she isn't a puppy anymore. Your Mimi-to-be looks similar -- I love her little puppy-happy expression when she trotted with that toy in her mouth in the video.

This is Charlie. She is too rough on her roommate Buck, who is 14 & fairly rickety but sweet sweet, so I have to keep a lid on her energy. Not easy!

OMG!! She is beautiful!!! She look so soft and fluffy! I love big dogs, but I don't forsee ever owning one. I am realistic about my lifestyle and I tend to be more homebody than active. I love that my little dog can get all the exercise she needs while she plays fetch and we catch up on our shows, lol. Long quiet walks, fetch, yeah, that's my kind of dog.

 

[audball]

Her foster Mom just emailed me a photo to try and help show her size. Size is so hard to gauge without something to compare to. So she managed a single picture of her standing next to a roll of paper towels. I measured mine at home and they are 11" tall, so she's probably 13-14" to the shoulder? You think?

 

[AGBF]

Like some other posters, I entered this thread with trepidation because I have lost dogs and the topic is one I hate to revisit. At a certain point I found myself wanting to cheer audball on, however, long before all the pieces fell into place.

Audball, I think I felt that when you said Mimi had different ears from Molly, I was pretty sure I wanted to urge you to take her. It was at that point that I felt that you wouldn't be on Pricescope starting a thread about a new dog unless somehow you were ready to take the plunge, but just needed some encouragement and support. That moment was the epiphany for me. The doggie ears.

Bless you and the girls, both Molly and Mimi!

Deb


PS-Laurie, Charlie is adorable!

 

[audball]

Like some other posters, I entered this thread with trepidation because I have lost dogs and the topic is one hate to revisit. At a certain point I found myself wanting to cheer audball on, however, long before all the pieces fell into place.

Audball, I think I felt that when you said Mimi had different ears from Molly, I was pretty sure I wanted to urge you to take her. It was at that point that I felt that you wouldn't be on Pricescope starting a thread about a new dog unless somehow you were ready to take the plunge, but just needed some encouragement and support. That moment was the epiphany for me. The doggie ears.

Bless you and the girls, both Molly and Mimi!

Deb


PS-Laurie, Charlie is adorable!

Thanks Deb! The ears was a hard thing for me to let go. I love the natural floppy ears on a schnauzer. But the cropped ears on Mimi suit her, and it's good that it makes her look different than Molly even more so.

We're dealing with logistics now. Trying to figure out if she'll be getting transported down here or if we'll be driving up to meet her and bring her back ourselves.

It's a tough decision. It'll cost more up front to drive there to get her, but then we'd get to meet her on her own turf.

 

[Enerchi]

Laurie - I love Charlie!!! What a face!!! There's no way you could get mad at that face, looking back at you! Sooooo precious!

 

[JewelFreak]

Audball, you may come to love cropped ears -- something about pointy ears melts me. They are very expressive -- I especially adore the way they look from behind. If time & expense are an issue, you could do what we sometimes did when I helped transport rescues: meet in the middle somewhere. You don't get to see her at "home" but it is a practical way to do it.

I dig your feeling about smaller dogs & ease of exercise! I often envy folks who can tire their nutcases without plodding 10 miles. Especially in the show ring -- gosh, some people can actually WALK when they gait their dogs; you gotta lope to show a Siberian's movement, end up gasping on a hot day. That's the only time I think, "Why did I choose this breed to fall madly in love with?"

Thank you, Enerchi & Deb. I absolutely can't get mad at that face, you're right, Enerchi. Sometimes I have to pretend to be but it's darned hard to hide a grin. She loves to push the boundaries but does it with such humor, I end up tearing my own hair out instead of hers.

--- Laurie

 

[audball]

Audball, you may come to love cropped ears -- something about pointy ears melts me. They are very expressive -- I especially adore the way they look from behind. If time & expense are an issue, you could do what we sometimes did when I helped transport rescues: meet in the middle somewhere. You don't get to see her at "home" but it is a practical way to do it.

I dig your feeling about smaller dogs & ease of exercise! I often envy folks who can tire their nutcases without plodding 10 miles. Especially in the show ring -- gosh, some people can actually WALK when they gait their dogs; you gotta lope to show a Siberian's movement, end up gasping on a hot day. That's the only time I think, "Why did I choose this breed to fall madly in love with?"

Thank you, Enerchi & Deb. I absolutely can't get mad at that face, you're right, Enerchi. Sometimes I have to pretend to be but it's darned hard to hide a grin. She loves to push the boundaries but does it with such humor, I end up tearing my own hair out instead of hers.

--- Laurie

I'm sure I'll at least learn to appreciate them in their own element. Floppy ears can be quite full of expression too. Molly had incredibly control over her ears and you could tell how she was feeling by how she carried them! And I LOVED when she'd shoot them straight up and they'd be like giant bat ears! Mimi's cropped ones are cute too, though, and they seem to suit HER.

The foster Mom is looking into options. She's trying to see if they can even just get her into the state as that would reduce our drive time by a few hours. We're pretty much in West Central Florida (Tampa Bay area) and she's in Central Alabama near Montgomery. So it's around 9 hours apart. If she can even get her to one of the fosters that live in the Pensacola area, that would reduce drive time to 6 hours and make a day trip (though a LONG day), more possible.

 

[QueenB29]

It sounds like this dog is meant for you. I think we're ready for new pets when we know that we won't constantly compare the new one to the one we lost, and it sounds like you're there. And, honestly, I think Mimi will help you heal over losing Molly, not because you'll stop loving Molly or miss her less, but because there's a hole in your heart that needs puppy love The very, very best part of my day is coming home to my yellow Lab Belle. It doesn't matter how awful work was, when I come through that door and see her grinning crazily, wiggling with joy and running to get a squeakie, I instantly feel better

Dogs become a part of us, just like any dearly loved family member or friend.....it just happens a lot faster I grew up with a wonderful black Lab, who my entire family adored. We had to put her down like 14 years ago, and we all still miss her and talk about her. That will never go away. I'm sure it will be the same when one day DH and I, gulp, lose Belle. And that's OK.

 

[audball]

It sounds like this dog is meant for you. I think we're ready for new pets when we know that we won't constantly compare the new one to the one we lost, and it sounds like you're there. And, honestly, I think Mimi will help you heal over losing Molly, not because you'll stop loving Molly or miss her less, but because there's a hole in your heart that needs puppy love The very, very best part of my day is coming home to my yellow Lab Belle. It doesn't matter how awful work was, when I come through that door and see her grinning crazily, wiggling with joy and running to get a squeakie, I instantly feel better

Dogs become a part of us, just like any dearly loved family member or friend.....it just happens a lot faster I grew up with a wonderful black Lab, who my entire family adored. We had to put her down like 14 years ago, and we all still miss her and talk about her. That will never go away. I'm sure it will be the same when one day DH and I, gulp, lose Belle. And that's OK.

It certainly seems so. Coming home was always so wonderful. Her excitement when I came through the door was contagious. It literally would melt my whole day away to be there and watch her wiggly bottom squirming and her smile at me. Dogs really do become a part of us. I'm not looking forward to the day when I have to say goodbye again. But that pain isn't enough for me to forego the joy that I know they'll bring me in the coming years.

 

[JewelFreak]

My favorite thing I've heard lately was in a speech by Queen Elizabeth. She said, "Grief is the price we pay for love." And we pay it willingly, over and over again, because life is so much shallower without it. (As a lifelong major Corgi lover, QE no doubt knows.)

--- Laurie

 

[audball]

My favorite thing I've heard lately was in a speech by Queen Elizabeth. She said, "Grief is the price we pay for love." And we pay it willingly, over and over again, because life is so much shallower without it. (As a lifelong major Corgi lover, QE no doubt knows.)

--- Laurie

That is a wonderful quote. Very heartfelt, very true.

 

[lulu]

She's adorable! When do you get her?

 

[audball]

She's adorable! When do you get her?

Thanks lulu! I don't know yet. Waiting to hear if they can put a transport together or not.

 

[audball]

They have starting the process of arranging the transport. The plan is to get her to a foster home that is only a 2 hour drive from us. I'll be able to meet and pick her up from there. Conveniently, it's only a few miles from where Andrew's mom lives so we can spend the night there and be closer to pick her up. Then we don't have to drive 2 hours each way in one day.

 

[Enerchi]

They have starting the process of arranging the transport. The plan is to get her to a foster home that is only a 2 hour drive from us. I'll be able to meet and pick her up from there. Conveniently, it's only a few miles from where Andrew's mom lives so we can spend the night there and be closer to pick her up. Then we don't have to drive 2 hours each way in one day.

WOOO HOOOO!!! Oh, that is sooooo exciting!!
So looking forward to this event! Can't wait to read your post after meeting Mimi!

 

[Phdecorate]

Oh, Audball, so excited for you. I would be lost without my little boy. I take him everywhere I can with me. when my ex and I split up, he threatened to fight for partial custody but he was really my dog. Same as you, my ex had never been to the vet, the groomer or the trainer, etc. I gave up a bunch of other stuff so I would not have to give up my baby. I feel for you that you had to give up your little girl Life is very unfair sometimes.

I think your new girl will bring you wonderful joy. If anything, she will be even more loved because you have so much to give! She is absolutely adorable from the pics.

Can't wait to hear that the new addition to the family is home with mom!

 

[audball]

Oh, Audball, so excited for you. I would be lost without my little boy. I take him everywhere I can with me. when my ex and I split up, he threatened to fight for partial custody but he was really my dog. Same as you, my ex had never been to the vet, the groomer or the trainer, etc. I gave up a bunch of other stuff so I would not have to give up my baby. I feel for you that you had to give up your little girl Life is very unfair sometimes.

I think your new girl will bring you wonderful joy. If anything, she will be even more loved because you have so much to give! She is absolutely adorable from the pics.

Can't wait to hear that the new addition to the family is home with mom!

Thanks girl! It's hard. I did give up just about everything and still didn't get her. We had two pets. My cat and our dog. I got my cat before I ever even met him. He was mine. I'd had him for nearly a decade. Even though he lived with the both of us for nearly 6 years of it, he was my cat. When we got Molly about a year and a half before we split, he insisted that she be HIS dog so that "if we ever broke up, we'd each get one". At the time I didn't think we would be splitting up. We were house hunting, getting a dog, it seemed we were moving forward. I reluctantly agreed. Despite her being "HIS" dog, I did everything. All her walking, vetting, grooming, bathing, training, everything. He paid for her (we got her from a breeder) but I paid for everything after that and actually did all of her care. She wasn't his in the slightest. She preferred me. I feel awful for leaving her behind.

When we did split, the only thing he would accept in exchange for her was my cat. It was the hardest decision I ever made. My cat was my baby. I'd had him for years. He got me through some dark times. I couldn't imagine not having him. I also couldn't imagine not having her. It was an impossible decision, so I just didn't make it. I left her with him and took my cat. I honestly and sincerely hoped that after a few weeks/months, he'd give her back to me because she was so much work and expense that took away from the other things he loves to do. He refused to walk her long enough, etc when we were together and she'd have accidents if she didn't get walked enough. He never had to clean any of it up though so I thought for sure he'd give her up after he actually had to put in the work. But I was wrong. He just took advantage of me because he was manipulative. He knew if he didn't do it, that I would. So he'd refuse. He's perfectly capable of taking care of her (and does), he just wouldn't do it for me. Now he's doing it because of me.

Either way, it's done. There isn't anything I can do to change the decision I made. I think hoping he'd give her back to me was another reason I couldn't move on last year. I always had in my head that I may be getting her back. Knowing that it's NOT going to happen was another reason I felt more ready to move on.

I can't wait to meet Mimi.

 

[Phdecorate]

Oh, Audball, so excited for you. I would be lost without my little boy. I take him everywhere I can with me. when my ex and I split up, he threatened to fight for partial custody but he was really my dog. Same as you, my ex had never been to the vet, the groomer or the trainer, etc. I gave up a bunch of other stuff so I would not have to give up my baby. I feel for you that you had to give up your little girl Life is very unfair sometimes.

I think your new girl will bring you wonderful joy. If anything, she will be even more loved because you have so much to give! She is absolutely adorable from the pics.

Can't wait to hear that the new addition to the family is home with mom!

Thanks girl! It's hard. I did give up just about everything and still didn't get her. We had two pets. My cat and our dog. I got my cat before I ever even met him. He was mine. I'd had him for nearly a decade. Even though he lived with the both of us for nearly 6 years of it, he was my cat. When we got Molly about a year and a half before we split, he insisted that she be HIS dog so that "if we ever broke up, we'd each get one". At the time I didn't think we would be splitting up. We were house hunting, getting a dog, it seemed we were moving forward. I reluctantly agreed. Despite her being "HIS" dog, I did everything. All her walking, vetting, grooming, bathing, training, everything. He paid for her (we got her from a breeder) but I paid for everything after that and actually did all of her care. She wasn't his in the slightest. She preferred me. I feel awful for leaving her behind.

When we did split, the only thing he would accept in exchange for her was my cat. It was the hardest decision I ever made. My cat was my baby. I'd had him for years. He got me through some dark times. I couldn't imagine not having him. I also couldn't imagine not having her. It was an impossible decision, so I just didn't make it. I left her with him and took my cat. I honestly and sincerely hoped that after a few weeks/months, he'd give her back to me because she was so much work and expense that took away from the other things he loves to do. He refused to walk her long enough, etc when we were together and she'd have accidents if she didn't get walked enough. He never had to clean any of it up though so I thought for sure he'd give her up after he actually had to put in the work. But I was wrong. He just took advantage of me because he was manipulative. He knew if he didn't do it, that I would. So he'd refuse. He's perfectly capable of taking care of her (and does), he just wouldn't do it for me. Now he's doing it because of me.

Either way, it's done. There isn't anything I can do to change the decision I made. I think hoping he'd give her back to me was another reason I couldn't move on last year. I always had in my head that I may be getting her back. Knowing that it's NOT going to happen was another reason I felt more ready to move on.

I can't wait to meet Mimi.

Oh your ex sounds like such a blankety-blank-blank. I had gathered that from some previous posts, but this makes it worse. So selfish for him to be spiteful at the expense of your dog. Well I am sorry about the dog, but so glad you found someone SOOOOOOO much better in Andrew.
Life's most difficult trials bring life's greatest rewards.

 

[audball]

Oh your ex sounds like such a blankety-blank-blank. I had gathered that from some previous posts, but this makes it worse. So selfish for him to be spiteful at the expense of your dog. Well I am sorry about the dog, but so glad you found someone SOOOOOOO much better in Andrew.
Life's most difficult trials bring life's greatest rewards.

Oh he is! There is a 20+ page thread that chronicles our breakup over the course of several months. Andrew is amazing. I'm happy in all aspects of my life now. The only thing that saddens me is not having Molly. But I've accepted it. Time to move on. Mimi could be my saving grace. I think I need her to save me as much as she needs me to save her.

 

[AGBF]

There is a 20+ page thread that chronicles our breakup over the course of several months. Andrew is amazing. I'm happy in all aspects of my life now. The only thing that saddens me is not having Molly. But I've accepted it. Time to move on. Mimi could be my saving grace. I think I need her to save me as much as she needs me to save her.

Where is the thread, audball? I'd like to go read it. I don't know your story. I think it's a pity you were not able to kill your husband, however. It sounds like a far more civilized solution all around. I suppose there were some legal barriers to that in your state? I am hoping that eventually divorce law will evolve and that nasty men who want to hurt animals can be shot on sight. (Don't tell Dancing Fire I wrote this. He thinks I'm Mother Theresa.)

Deb/AGBF