When the husband cheats it's the wife's fault

[kenny]

“Males have a tendency to wander a little bit.
And what you want to do is make a home so wonderful he doesn’t want to wander.”

So PS ladies: wear your pearls when you cheerfully cook his dinner and touch up your make up and hair before you greet him at the door.
When he sits down bring him the paper, take off his shoes and massage his poor tired feet (but leave your high heals on).
Don't bother him with your selfish cares and concerns; just smile delicately and listen patiently to him talk about his day.




http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/05/17/pat-robertson-shrugs-off-adultery-cbn-regrets-the-misunderstanding/?hpt=hp_c2

 

[manderz]

Re: It's the wife's fault when the husband cheats

This guy is such a jackass, I don't even have the energy to get worked up about it. *sigh*

 

[VRBeauty]

Re: It's the wife's fault when the husband cheats

Of course it is.

 

[arkieb1]

There is a bestselling book with similar views and I saw on 60 mins a few months ago a whole movement of women returning to 1950s values because being a dutiful wife and pleasing the man is supposed to create a happier home, and happier women. I watched one of the women leading the movement and thought to myself what a halfwit- that only puts feminist back about 60 years....

I also like how he neglects to mention women also cheat.... that is probably too offensive to mention for his set of preconceived ideals.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

There is a bestselling book with similar views and I saw on 60 mins a few months ago a whole movement of women returning to 1950s values because being a dutiful wife and pleasing the man is supposed to create a happier home, and happier women. I watched one of the women leading the movement and thought to myself what a halfwit- that only puts feminist back about 60 years....

I also like how he neglects to mention women also cheat.... that is probably too offensive to mention for his set of preconceived ideals.

Wasn't that around the time of "mother's little helper?"

 

[SB621]

There is a reason why valium was the #1 prescribed drug to women in the 1950's.

 

[Enerchi]

Re: It's the wife's fault when the husband cheats

This guy is such a jackass, I don't even have the energy to get worked up about it. *sigh*

Yup - +1!

Nothing like a step back into the dark ages!

 

[missy]

There is a reason why valium was the #1 prescribed drug to women in the 1950's.

LOL. Good one Sarah!

This guy is such a jackass, I don't even have the energy to get worked up about it. *sigh*

Yup - +1!

Nothing like a step back into the dark ages!

Yeah, I don't even feel worked up reading this because it's so ridiculous. I'll save my energy for real issues.

 

[Smith1942]

"Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant
meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and
said:
"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly
sauted frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:

I don't ****ing think so!!!"

 

[Enerchi]

"Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant
meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and
said:
"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly
sauted frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:

I don't ****ing think so!!!"

INDEED!!!!

 

[movie zombie]

how male Christians can even keep a straight face when spouting this type of hypocrisy always amazes me.....

 

[yennyfire]

"Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant
meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and
said:
"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly
sauted frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:

I don't ****ing think so!!!"

Brava, Brava!!

I think I'll have me some frogs legs tonight!!

 

[JewelFreak]

There is a reason why valium was the #1 prescribed drug to women in the 1950's.

LOL, right on!

I asked DH if I should do that from now on. He told me about a girlfriend he had in college, who let him make the decisions on where & what they'd do & even filled his pipe with tobacco for him. "And you were bored to death," I ventured. "Yeah!" he answered. The romance didn't last long. So there!, old silly geezer.

--- Laurie

 

[minousbijoux]

"Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant
meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and
said:
"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly
sauted frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:

I don't ****ing think so!!!"

Nice on, Smith!

 

[Laila619]

Cheaters cheat because they have bad character.

 

[MrsAkin]

Well it seems like I'm the only one but I sometimes rub my husbands feet. He works really hard to give me the comfortable life I live right now. He's on his feet all day trying to please his customers and managing his staff while I'm home doing whatever I please with my day and I'm really grateful for all he does for our family. I know the last thing he wants to hear is another person complaining when he gets home. Would you nag on a tired and worn out person? Why is it so wrong to try and make my lifelong companion's life easier?

3 years ago I was working as a lawyer. I used to start my work day at 8 am sharp and had to work until 10 pm to please my bosses and never got paid extra for my overtime. I had to be on the road 3-4 hours a day between my house and workplace. I was miserable. There was a 37 year old woman who was still waiting to be a mother as her work schedule didn't really allow her to spend time with her husband. I quit and it was (still is) the best decision I've ever made in my life.

I've always wanted to be a stay at home wife and have a large family. Yes I cook and keep a house. I do laundry, I clean up after my husband and never felt inferior because of that. Everything I do at home is extremely fulfilling to me. This is the way I choose to life my life. Who can say it's stupid and wrong?

 

[madelise]

Well it seems like I'm the only one but I sometimes rub my husbands feet. He works really hard to give me the comfortable life I live right now. He's on his feet all day trying to please his customers and managing his staff while I'm home doing whatever I please with my day and I'm really grateful for all he does for our family. I know the last thing he wants to hear is another person complaining when he gets home. Would you nag on a tired and worn out person? Why is it so wrong to try and make my lifelong companion's life easier?

3 years ago I was working as a lawyer. I used to start my work day at 8 am sharp and had to work until 10 pm to please my bosses and never got paid extra for my overtime. I had to be on the road 3-4 hours a day between my house and workplace. I was miserable. There was a 37 year old woman who was still waiting to be a mother as her work schedule didn't really allow her to spend time with her husband. I quit and it was (still is) the best decision I've ever made in my life.

I've always wanted to be a stay at home wife and have a large family. Yes I cook and keep a house. I do laundry, I clean up after my husband and never felt inferior because of that. Everything I do at home is extremely fulfilling to me. This is the way I choose to life my life. Who can say it's stupid and wrong?

Mrs. Akin, no one is saying you're stupid or wrong for rubbing your man's feet. It's your CHOICE. This dude is saying it's women's DUTY, that women SHOULD do it, and if they don't, they are "punished" with a cheating husband. That's chauvinistic. I rub my man's shoulders and back, and scratch his head occasionally when he's slowly falling asleep. But I do it when I want to, because I want to. Not because I'm afraid I'm not woman enough. Or afraid he won't be a happy person around me. Or that he'll cheat on me. This man is JUSTIFYING cheating. I'm sorry, NOTHING justifies cheating. And NO ONE should be putting women back a million years by saying women should do x, y, or z… OR ELSE face the wrath of a cheating husband. Don't confuse that with women SHOULDN'T be doing x, y, or z. Do that all you want. Just don't do it out of fear, or out of the fact that some idiot says you SHOULD BE doing it.

 

[VRBeauty]

how male Christians can even keep a straight face when spouting this type of hypocrisy always amazes me.....

I trust you know that Pat Robinson does not speak for all Christians... I rather suspect he doesn't even speak for the majority of Christians of any gender.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Well it seems like I'm the only one but I sometimes rub my husbands feet. He works really hard to give me the comfortable life I live right now. He's on his feet all day trying to please his customers and managing his staff while I'm home doing whatever I please with my day and I'm really grateful for all he does for our family. I know the last thing he wants to hear is another person complaining when he gets home. Would you nag on a tired and worn out person? Why is it so wrong to try and make my lifelong companion's life easier?

3 years ago I was working as a lawyer. I used to start my work day at 8 am sharp and had to work until 10 pm to please my bosses and never got paid extra for my overtime. I had to be on the road 3-4 hours a day between my house and workplace. I was miserable. There was a 37 year old woman who was still waiting to be a mother as her work schedule didn't really allow her to spend time with her husband. I quit and it was (still is) the best decision I've ever made in my life.

I've always wanted to be a stay at home wife and have a large family. Yes I cook and keep a house. I do laundry, I clean up after my husband and never felt inferior because of that. Everything I do at home is extremely fulfilling to me. This is the way I choose to life my life. Who can say it's stupid and wrong?

You should be doing what you want to be doing. The problem is he's telling women how to behave. Personally, I think it's a nightmare having to listen to a spouse complain about work all the time. And, I do have an RX for valium.

 

[Smith1942]

MrsAkin, your husband is a lucky man! I spoil mine too. I also gave up a terrible office career to follow my dreams, courtesy of my husband's financial support. Of course it isn't wrong to treat your spouse well. We are reacting against the chauvinism of this man.

A really cool police detective I was involved with years ago sent me this joke. Of course, it made him even more cool in my eyes!

MC - I agree with you that it's a nightmare to have to listen to a spouse complain about work all the time. There's nothing you can do about it - it's their career and they have to fix it. Listening sometimes after a bad day and giving advice is one thing, but constant moaning night after night after night for weeks or months on end is another. My husband has done a ton of this, and all it did was make me stay out more in the evenings!

 

[Smith1942]

Cheaters cheat because they have bad character.

I completely agree with this, and in fact my husband has confirmed it. He once broke the guy code and said that it's all rubbish about men needing to spread their seed and being so desperate for sex with anyone other than their regular partner. He said all that's just an excuse to treat their women like sh*t, if they think they can get away with it. He also said it's about character. He basically said that it's no problem at all for a man to refrain if he wants to.

 

[movie zombie]

of course, VR, but my comment was directed at that particular self-proclaimed and self-professed "Christian".......

 

[ksinger]

of course, VR, but my comment was directed at that particular self-proclaimed and self-professed "Christian".......

No "of course" about it, actually. Christians live and breathe in the patriarchy just like everyone else, and have helped sustain it more than most. And anyone who thinks Pat Robertson and his ilk are dinosaurs doomed to extinction, aren't paying attention to the up-and-comers like the New Calvinist, megachurch pastor Mark Driscoll. Just google "Mark Driscoll on women" and you'll see that there are plenty of followers for medieval attitudes towards women, and belief that they are responsible for how their husband behaves.

 

[VRBeauty]

of course, VR, but my comment was directed at that particular self-proclaimed and self-professed "Christian".......

No "of course" about it, actually. Christians live and breathe in the patriarchy just like everyone else, and have helped sustain it more than most. And anyone who thinks Pat Robertson and his ilk are dinosaurs doomed to extinction, aren't paying attention to the up-and-comers like the New Calvinist, megachurch pastor Mark Driscoll. Just google "Mark Driscoll on women" and you'll see that there are plenty of followers for medieval attitudes towards women, and belief that they are responsible for how their husband behaves.

It is no more appropriate or accurate to suggest that all Christian men are misogynists than it is to suggest that all Muslim men are terrorists.

 

[ZestfullyBling]

"Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant
meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and
said:
"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly
sauted frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:

I don't ****ing think so!!!"

Brava, Brava!!

I think I'll have me some frogs legs tonight!!

Plus 1!!!
Ditto Yenny!!!

 

[iLander]

Cheaters cheat because they have bad character.

EXACTLY! And a submissive wife tends to make cheating even easier, so why not?

 

[momhappy]

While I don't condone cheating, I also realize that there are dynamics in which the cheating scenario becomes more plausible. It's not a black and white issue.

 

[momhappy]

"Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant
meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and
said:
"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly
sauted frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:

I don't ****ing think so!!!"

This is cute, but I'm not seeing how it relates to cheating?

 

[ksinger]

of course, VR, but my comment was directed at that particular self-proclaimed and self-professed "Christian".......

No "of course" about it, actually. Christians live and breathe in the patriarchy just like everyone else, and have helped sustain it more than most. And anyone who thinks Pat Robertson and his ilk are dinosaurs doomed to extinction, aren't paying attention to the up-and-comers like the New Calvinist, megachurch pastor Mark Driscoll. Just google "Mark Driscoll on women" and you'll see that there are plenty of followers for medieval attitudes towards women, and belief that they are responsible for how their husband behaves.

It is no more appropriate or accurate to suggest that all Christian men are misogynists than it is to suggest that all Muslim men are terrorists.

I'm not suggesting "all" Christian males are. What I'm pointing out is that there are still churches all over this country where attitudes like Robertson's come from the pulpit on any given Sunday.

Driscoll's church is but one, yet it has over 6000 members, he's not a fossil, and he's in one of the more liberal areas of the country. One has to assume that the laity in his church are agreeing with most of what he says or would be somewhere else, yes?

If there is no reason to suggest that every Christian male is a misogynist, then equally there is no reason to think that Christians are somehow more immune from the pervasive patriarchy that is our culture, any more than the next person. And since many denominations still have restrictions on what women can do within the church, there is reason to believe women-as-somehow-less attitudes find a comfortable home in those denominations.

Here's a few happy quotes from Driscoll. He makes old Robertson sound like an amateur.

“A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either.”

“Women will be saved by going back to that role that God has chosen for them. Ladies, if the hair on the back of your neck stands up, it is because you are fighting your role in the scripture.”

“I’ve gotta think these guys [David, Paul, John the Baptist] were dudes. Heterosexual, win a fight, punch you in the nose dudes. And the problem in the church today is it’s just a bunch of nice, soft, tender, chick-ified church boys. Sixty percent of Christians are chicks. And the forty percent that are dudes are still sort of chicks. I mean, it’s just sad. When you walk in, it’s sea foam green and fuschia and lemon yellow. The whole architecture is feminine and the preacher is kind of feminine and the music is kind of emotional and feminine and we’re looking around going, ‘How come we’re not innovative?’ It’s because all the innovative dudes are at home watching football.”

 

[kenny]

IMO all, yes all, men are horndogs and instinctively want to have sex with a zillion woman a day.
In prehistoric times those who did had many more kids per lifetime than the monogamous men.

Once I heard that humans are nothing more than DNA's way of making more DNA.
We are merely DNA's DNA-making tools.
Evolution-wise the universe reenforces and blesses male promiscuity with more DNA units ... who also are wired to be promiscuous like their dad.

Women, less so since they get pregnant and have to breastfeed.
Men have to invest only 60 seconds to send their DNA into the future, women have to invest years.
A man could do it maybe 5 times a day for 50 years, and if only 1% resulted in a pregnancy that guy could father 913 kids with no child-raising responsibility.
A woman fertile for 40 years could theoretically raise 53 children if she got pregnant immediately after each birth, but how could a woman raise 53 kids alone? She'd be lucky if half survived.
913 vs. 26.
Not fair, but it explains a lot of the difference between men and women's attitudes towards sex.
They say women need a reason to have sex, but men just need a place.

More recently, both in and out of religions, we understand it's better for the child that the father sticks around, so we encourage that.
That's great and I certainly 100% support that.
But a relatively short time of social pressure does not erase zillions of years of men's barbaric wanderlust.

I'm not defending cheating.
I'm just saying the thirst to send more DNA into the future is powerful, and god bless every man and woman who resists it when it is not a good time for them to raise kids.

Unfortunately many people follow leaders instead of thinking for themselves.
Shame on this leader for saying men cheating is no big deal, and especially for blaming it on wives.
It is the wrong way to encourage monogamy.