When did you/will you start to

[akw94]

think about paying for the wedding? Since our "plans" are w/in the next year, I''ve started thinking a lot about how we will pay for the wedding. My parents won''t help all that much, at least I don''t think they can and my bf and I have very little saved (well, I have no idea if he has anything saved..for this), so I''m starting to worry and want to save and plan. I feel like it''s not too soon given the time but we aren''t actually engaged so it feels weird asking him his thoughts.

Has anyone else planned the financial aspect before engagement? Is that odd? Should I just wait to bring it up?

If he would just propose already..........

I think I''m also just feeling a little frustrated about that.

 

[cRaSh]

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with saving now. It''s smart!! Weddings are really expensive, even cheap ones. I was in the same situation. I paid for mine myself. Thankfully I had a retirement fund with the company I was with, and I used that. And if your parent are able to come through and pay, or he or his family pitches in, at least you''ll have some money saved up for a rainy day, or a nice honeymoon.

I would mention it, and maybe he will start saving too. Can''t be too prepared.

 

[janinegirly]

well, my opinion is it''s not a good idea to start planning a wedding/discuss how to pay for it before an engagement. because, realistically, you are not engaged yet. And it might very well freak him out. I mean that part of wedding planning is really not that fun--why not wait to bask in the glow of an engagement before conquering all the things on the "wedding to-do list". Now, that''s not to say you shouldn''t be thinking practically. What I''ve done is been very aggressive in my savings. Putting something away each month, putting the cash in a high-yield savings account (better interest rates on-line...probably s-c-ary for those who don''t trust credit cards let alone on-line bank accounts!). I''m lucky in that my parents will contribute something, but I want my own $ to play with too. So just quietly put cash away. You can let him know you''re doing this, maybe don''t say it''s for the wedding, but maybe drop a hint it''s for things in the future, blah blah. I mean if he''s buying a ring, he''s probably saving for that, so why not show you''re doing your part. And if for some reason, it doesn''t work out, you have a little nest egg so you have more choices.

 

[Becky P]

Yup, I agree. I''ll wait to be engaged before I officially discuss how we''re paying for the wedding. But... I have already started a savings account of my own entitled "Wedding" - I only have $225 saved so far, but hey, it''s better than nothin. I, too, use an online savings account that earns great interest and it allows me to separate my funds into different accounts. I also have a "House" fund started, which could also be used for the wedding if need be (because he already owns a place where we could both easily live). And, if things don''t end up working out with us, I can use both the house and wedding funds to buy a place of my own. So, I''ve actually already started saving, but it''s also there for a backup plan just in case... I figure that in addition to all the required wedding expenses (church, reception hall, food, etc), there''s also all the little extras that a person just wants to have (chocolate fountain, etc.). I''m pretty sure my dad will pay for most of the "requireds", and I can use my money for the "extras". Plus, for his groom''s gift, I plan on getting him a really nice watch b/c he LOVES watches, so I''ll need $1,000-$2,000 for that. IMO, it''s never to early to start to save!

 

[goldenstar]

i think its never too early to start thinking about paying for the wedding, but as for talking about it with your BF, it depends on the status of your relationship. some people are still shaky on the engagement issue, thus, you don''t wanna jump the gun and bring up the wedding. other people are certain of the engagement issue and talking about paying for the wedding would be more natural. especially because the cost will affect the timeline, i.e. do you need more time to save money?

my Bf and i are not engaged yet, but expect to be next year. we''ve talked about paying for the wedding already. i''m pretty sure both our parents will contribute something, and we''ll cover the rest. we talked about it because i''m still a student and have no money to speak of, on the contrary, i have student loan debt. on the other hand, he has two income properties in addition to his primary residence. so it looks like he''s going to come up with most of the money, which we are both fine with because we both share the same "whats mine is yours" mentality. we know that couples fight about money a lot, so we''ve talked about our beliefs to see if we are on the same page.

to make a long story short, its okay to talk about the wedding early if your relationship is ready for it.

 

[AmberWaves]

Well, Dixie, we started saving when we got engaged, but we also have a 17 month engagement so we can save enough. My parents are putting a teeny amount towards it, but we didn''t expect them to, anyway. Now that I''m 26, and he''s 27, we figure that any wedding we need help financing is way too much for us. I don''t want my parents to have to pay for this because I feel I''m an adult, and this makes me feel responsible, like I can take care of myself. I mean, my parents are in their 60s, and this money could go somewhere better towards their happiness. Whatever we can''t afford, we don''t need. And we only took that small amount from them so they could feel like they helped us out financially, something they wanted to do. And klike goldenstar said, if your relationship is strong enough, why not talk about it with him? He can save too, unless he''s already saving for the ring. No need to squirrel money away for this without him knowing. I''d feel like i was hiding something.

 

[therighttime]

Dixie94- I don''t think there is anything wrong at all if you want to be saving for a wedding before being engaged. Saving is always a good thing!

As for me, if/when we get married, it will be something incredibly small since it will be my 2nd wedding and we''ll pay for it ourselves. Anytime I get a little extra money I think, hmmm wedding money, but then it seems it has to go for new tires or something terribly UNfun.

have fun planning and saving.