What's your opinion on prenuptial agreement ?

[Dancing Fire]

My daughter will draw up a prenuptial for her FI to sign before they go to the court house to be married. It shouldn't be a surprise to her FI since she had mentioned in the past. She is not rich but she does own a house and have a good job.

 

[Autumnovember]

My husband and I don't have one but I can absolutely see why some people choose to get it. Whatever floats your boat! My husband originally wanted to get one and I was on board but we ended up changing our minds about it. I think its a smart move in a lot of cases.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I guess most of you ladies are against signing a prenup..

 

[zoebartlett]

I think if someone is very wealthy than it could make sense I suppose. I guess I don't have strong feelings either way about prenups. Maybe it's because I don't have many assets of tremendous value.

 

[baby monster]

I think it's a must when getting married at an older age with some assets already to each person's name. People split up all the time, no reason to give divorce lawyers extra money.

 

[JulieN]

She must have a lawyer draw it up.

 

[missy]

I believe in what ever works for the couple in question is the best thing for that couple to do. So no universal answer IMO.

My dh and I do not have a prenup yet we both came to the marriage with real estate and savings as we were both in our thirties when we got married. We are also more old school and have that romantic notion of love that I know is not reality for most.

Know that even prenups are not infallible though so just be smart about it and I agree with Julie. If you're doing a prenup get an attorney who knows what he or she is doing in that department. And also check the states rules because I think that could override some of the prenups. Check that out as I don't know the facts. Good luck!

 

[ForteKitty]

If we divorce, he will not have access to any of my assets acquired pre-marriage. We didn't live together, so that makes it easier. We each put in 50% towards the house, so that would be split down the middle.

I think it's smart to have a prenup. 3 of my friends are already divorced/currently going through a divorce. All within 5 years of marriage, and they were together a long time before getting married. One of the divorce is particularly nasty because they lived together and both contributed to the mortgage for several years. Even though he paid the downpayment, he was unemployed for a long time and she paid all of the mortgage plus their living expenses. She continues to pay for the mortgage, daycare, and living expenses for their daughter while he took off to live with his mommy because he can't handle adult life. You might want to have your daughter look into everything, and put all scenarios into the agreement.

 

[Sky56]

I think it is a good idea.
We didn't have one when we got married as at the time we didn't have much assets.

 

[tyty333]

I think she is smart to protect her investments that she already owns. Make sure she sees a good lawyer.

 

[RandG]

I guess most of you ladies are against signing a prenup..

When asked, I encourage it. It can be done with great sensitivity to what each party brings to the marriage, with clear distinction as to what is acquired/earned together and what pre-dates the marriage. Why leave something so intimate as one's current and future finances to the jurisdiction of the courts and a judge to decide?

Many households are two income households today. The days of having a prenup to protect men are long gone-- women need them too. It should be gender neutral and really about fairness as to what was owned before the marriage and equitable distribution of what was acquired jointly.

As someone once told me, "Its not who you marry you have to worry about. It's who you divorce".

 

[ckrickett]

I am getting a prenup, or signing one. My Fiancess mother and their estate is very odd. There is a lot of money, and land, and him and his brother to contend with. I actually brought up signing a prenup (I wasn't asked too) for protection for them. I am not planning on leaving him ever, so signing/not signing one doesn't matter to me.

 

[Calliecake]

I think she is smart to protect her investments that she already owns. Make sure she sees a good lawyer.

I agree with Tyty333. When we got married we didn't have much so it really didn't matter. But over the years I've seen some nasty divorces from people I would never have expected it from. I think your daughter is very smart about protecting what was her's before the marriage.

 

[MissStepcut]

We're both lawyers, yet didn't get one. If we'd already had many assets, we might have, but being young and fairly broke, we chose not to, because we both thought the courts would do a better job later figuring out how things should be divided than we would do on the front end, speculating about what might happen to us.

 

[MissStepcut]

I am getting a prenup, or signing one. My Fiancess mother and their estate is very odd. There is a lot of money, and land, and him and his brother to contend with. I actually brought up signing a prenup (I wasn't asked too) for protection for them. I am not planning on leaving him ever, so signing/not signing one doesn't matter to me.

This isn't legal advice, particularly since I don't know where you live, but in many jurisdictions, a prenup signed by someone who didn't hire a competent lawyer themselves to represent their interests will not be enforced.

 

[ame]

I think they're good to have if either of you has money going in, or if you're business owners. Otherwise I don't see a point.

 

[Saoirse2]

My daughter will draw up a prenuptial for her FI to sign before they go to the court house to be married. It shouldn't be a surprise to her FI since she had mentioned in the past. She is not rich but she does own a house and have a good job.

Good for her. I would not mind at all.....my DH had owed too much, he did not mind

 

[Lulie]

I am getting a prenup, or signing one. My Fiancess mother and their estate is very odd. There is a lot of money, and land, and him and his brother to contend with. I actually brought up signing a prenup (I wasn't asked too) for protection for them. I am not planning on leaving him ever, so signing/not signing one doesn't matter to me.

This isn't legal advice, particularly since I don't know where you live, but in many jurisdictions, a prenup signed by someone who didn't hire a competent lawyer themselves to represent their interests will not be enforced.

Yes! Each one of you need your own lawyer where I live ( if they really want to protect themselves).
I married a divorcee with a young child and bizarre ex wife of 3 years......I wasn't going to be part of that financial mess, he signed happily

 

[Indylady]

I would to get one. No reason not to. I don't plan to divorce, but who does?

Even if no one has money going in, I'd still prefer to have a pre-nup, because its easier to form a 'fair' distribution of what you have or may have before you're in the midst of an acrimonious divorce.

 

[ckrickett]

I am getting a prenup, or signing one. My Fiancess mother and their estate is very odd. There is a lot of money, and land, and him and his brother to contend with. I actually brought up signing a prenup (I wasn't asked too) for protection for them. I am not planning on leaving him ever, so signing/not signing one doesn't matter to me.

This isn't legal advice, particularly since I don't know where you live, but in many jurisdictions, a prenup signed by someone who didn't hire a competent lawyer themselves to represent their interests will not be enforced.

We are getting a lawyer. His mom has talked with several. She had 2 really bad marriages and a generalized prenup that did nothing. So I am working with my lawyer, and she (and my Fiance) is working with theirs so we get something that works for our unique situation and protects everyone (including myself)

 

[MissStepcut]

I would to get one. No reason not to. I don't plan to divorce, but who does?

Even if no one has money going in, I'd still prefer to have a pre-nup, because its easier to form a 'fair' distribution of what you have or may have before you're in the midst of an acrimonious divorce.

I just personally think it solves fewer problems than people imagine it will, in terms of both ease and fairness.

 

[JewelFreak]

I don't see anything wrong with it. We didn't do one because we barely owned a thing when we got married. Now, 37 years later, I guess it's a moot point.

Before DH, I was engaged to a guy from a very wealthy family. He said his parents would insist on a pre-nup, which made me feel very insulted. But with time, of course I think they were right. I'm glad I didn't marry him, but that wasn't the reason.

 

[dk168]

Having had my fingers burnt in the past, twice, with spongers, for the brief periods when I was with them; although the financial losses were minimal, I was upset and angry when it happened due to loss of trust, and am not interested in hooking up with anyone who is not at least in the same financial standings as I am ever again.

I like the idea that "whatever is mine, is mine; whatever is his, is ours" though.

In terms of self-preservation, I believe a pre-nup is invaluable in this day and age.

DK

 

[Kelinas]

I have one.

Both DH & I had bad previous marriages. He brought it up, and I agreed to signing it.
Our is just the generic 'you leave with whatever you came in with' in assets and debts. And anything that was newly acquired would be dealth with accordingly.

No one goes into a marriage thinking that there is a expiration date. But sometimes life sucks, and id rather be prepared.

If something were to happen tomorrow (hypothetically)
I'd walk away with my savings, my retirement accounts, and my car. Nothing else. Kinda seems crappy but in turn, he gets left with
His savings, retirement, 2 cars and 2 mortgages. I don't want the houses or anything in it. I'd leave my DH for one reason only,and if it comes to that
Is walk away easily.
The only thing we'd really fight about is our dog.

 

[GliderPoss]

I think if you have assets/wealth prior to the marriage then it's probably a good idea. Of course in my case, hubby and I were both so young and poor it was completely pointless

 

[kenny]

If both parties like it, good.
If one or both don't, bad.

... much like sardines, okra or artichokes.

 

[royalstarrynight]

I think prenups are a smart idea whether you ever plan to use them or not especially when the couple comes in with assets. It's like earthquake or flood preparedness.
It's also a good opportunity to talk about finances and learn more about each other (and the law) even though I am sure there are other ways of doing that without involving the lawyers.

 

[dk168]

The only thing we'd really fight about is our dog.

A relative of my ex-hubby allegedly lost the equivalent of her marital home to legal fees, and had to ask her father to help out, because she and her then hubby could not decide on who should get the dog!

DK

 

[distracts]

My daughter will draw up a prenuptial for her FI to sign before they go to the court house to be married. It shouldn't be a surprise to her FI since she had mentioned in the past. She is not rich but she does own a house and have a good job.

I think whatever aligns with the couple's ideas of asset division is good. In my state, the laws already on the books aligned with our ideas of fair asset division in the case of a divorce, so there was no need for a prenup. I am in Texas so it is pretty much impossible to get alimony, which otherwise I think may have been a concern. We talked about it all and consulted with lawyers prior to marriage.

 

[ckrickett]

I think prenups are a smart idea whether you ever plan to use them or not especially when the couple comes in with assets. It's like earthquake or flood preparedness.
It's also a good opportunity to talk about finances and learn more about each other (and the law) even though I am sure there are other ways of doing that without involving the lawyers.

That is my mentality on it. My Fiancee stands to inherit quite a substantial fund, and his mom will be buying us a house. We all want to make sure everything is fair in case of a split.