What to do with problem posters?

[lisa1.01fvs1]

You know who they are.........thankfully they are few and far between.

PS has a great way of letting them know how to behave.

I recently felt very strongly about one PS member''s comment toward another PS member.

What a bummer.

It soured the thread. Not the first time this poster/posters have done this.

However, I happen to value the PS member that was spoken down to.

IRL them woulda been fightin'' words.........

I guess u just have to ignore these things and rise above.

Just a vent.......does this happen to anyone else?

 

[Gypsy]

If you think the person has crossed a line. Report to moderator.

I''m sorry you were made uncomfortable, and it does happen, but not too often. And once you''ve been on here a while, you develop a pretty thick skin.

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Gypsy, very good suggestion.

I don''t like to let these things slip away unnoticed....

I think name calling is completely innapropriate.

No matter how learned or accurate or informative a poster is.

 

[Haven]

Just report them to a moderator, of course. That''s what they''re here for!

Sorry you felt that way. Good thing is that it doesn''t happen too often around here.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/23/2009 1:39:36 PM
Author:lisa1.01fvs1
You know who they are.........

That''s the problem ... everyone has their own different list of ''em. I dare say no two PSer''s lists would match. Though what a day that would be if we could *compare* ...

** off to the suggestion area **

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Date: 8/23/2009 2:12:55 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 8/23/2009 1:39:36 PM
Author:lisa1.01fvs1
You know who they are.........

That''s the problem ... everyone has their own different list of ''em. I dare say no two PSer''s lists would match. Though what a day that would be if we could *compare* ...

** off to the suggestion area **

Yeah but don''t some just stick out?

Not just the annoyances here and there?

Guess I haven''t been on here long enough (as skin begins to toughen slightly more)

 

[somethingshiny]

Is it weird that I can''t think of any "problem posters"? Makes me wonder if I''M one...



I''m a firm believer in complete honesty, though, and we all know that sometimes complete honesty equals uncomfortable.

 

[Richard Sherwood]

Ah hah! I always knew it was you...

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Date: 8/23/2009 2:43:14 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Is it weird that I can''t think of any ''problem posters''? Makes me wonder if I''M one...



I''m a firm believer in complete honesty, though, and we all know that sometimes complete honesty equals uncomfortable.

Agreed....but it doesn''t have to come in an offensive package.

I think they show on RT more often than anywhere else for some reason.

 

[somethingshiny]

OH, I don''t hang out in RT very much anymore. I feel there are SO many more knowledgeable PSers that my advice is just not that important or redundant.

 

[tyty333]

Date: 8/23/2009 2:53:41 PM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1

Date: 8/23/2009 2:43:14 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Is it weird that I can''t think of any ''problem posters''? Makes me wonder if I''M one...



I''m a firm believer in complete honesty, though, and we all know that sometimes complete honesty equals uncomfortable.

Agreed....but it doesn''t have to come in an offensive package.

I think they show on RT more often than anywhere else for some reason.

I dont know why people cant just say "here is what I know/think/feel and why". They dont have to go around telling other people they
are wrong. If it contradicts what another poster says then that poster can come back and say why they think/feel that way. Then they
can agree to disagree if necessary. Sometimes it seems like a battle of egos! I''ve been here longer...I''ve got more post than you...my
diamonds bigger than your diamond...

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/23/2009 2:43:14 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Is it weird that I can''t think of any ''problem posters''? Makes me wonder if I''M one...

I''m a firm believer in complete honesty, though, and we all know that sometimes complete honesty equals uncomfortable.

Yup.

I had a thin skin when I first started posting here, and it''s since gone out the window. Lisa could be talking about the post I left on another thread, but I think I was honest--not offensive. Oh well.
That''s what vague threads like these tend to do--make everyone think they''re the culprit. So of course I (and the next person and the next...) could be completely off base.

 

[Lauren8211]

I guess my skin has thickened as well. I used to take offense to everything when I started posting here. Now I rarely take offense to anything, and often just ignore threads of posters that I don''t care for.

It''s actually the "problem posters" that I can thank for learning not to be such a big baby all the time.

My PS skin has gotten so thick, I don''t even notice "problem posters" anymore.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/23/2009 5:12:52 PM
Author: elledizzy5
I guess my skin has thickened as well. I used to take offense to everything when I started posting here. Now I rarely take offense to anything, and often just ignore threads of posters that I don''t care for.


It''s actually the ''problem posters'' that I can thank for learning not to be such a big baby all the time.

My PS skin has gotten so thick, I don''t even notice ''problem posters'' anymore.

Ditto this. And my version of the "problem" posters back then tend to be some of my favorite posters now!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/23/2009 5:15:11 PM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 8/23/2009 5:12:52 PM
Author: elledizzy5
I guess my skin has thickened as well. I used to take offense to everything when I started posting here. Now I rarely take offense to anything, and often just ignore threads of posters that I don''t care for.


It''s actually the ''problem posters'' that I can thank for learning not to be such a big baby all the time.

My PS skin has gotten so thick, I don''t even notice ''problem posters'' anymore.

Ditto this. And my version of the ''problem'' posters back then tend to be some of my favorite posters now!

+1/2. LOL, ''problem posters'' tend not to be my favs, I have learned that one thread does not a person make, and I might have a visceral reaction to something someone says in one thread, and cosign on EVERYTHING that they say in another. I know I''ve ruffled a few feathers in my time here, but I''ve also learned to care a bit less when people are sensitive about things that I say. It''s good to learn to apologize when you are in the wrong, but not to back down from your thoughts and opinions. It''s an internet forum, so one-upmenship is pretty

 

[Fly Girl]

What to do with problem posters?

Easy. I ignore them. They can''t make you read their posts!

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Ha I guess I''ve just become "a problem poster" LOL.

How interesting , I never thought people would be thinking of themselves as "the culprit."

Not you Somethingshiny or Lucky.

Obviously, you can just not read a post/ignore it.

I usually do keep to myself when things are imploding. Case in pt. "the bias" thread.

I wanted to vent so I guess I deserve some ridicule.

I think tyty said it more articulately than me.

 

[kenny]

Date: 8/23/2009 6:02:08 PM
Author: Fly Girl
What to do with problem posters?


Easy. I ignore them. They can''t make you read their posts!

Excellent point.

 

[soocool]

I believe the old adage "If you can''t say something nice about someone, make fudge!" Well you know what I mean.

Though people are allowed to have their own opinions, it is not fair to attack another person for their beliefs or points of view. I certainly don''t read or reply to every single post that is written and I think many times people are just looking to vent online rather than taking it out on people close to them. I think the response should be about the post and not the poster.

As for encountering any posters who are less than kind, there are a few and I try to avoid reading their responses as I know it will rub me the reader the wrong way. But all in all, most of the people on here are genuine and nice. That''s why I like it here!

 

[TravelingGal]

Scream at them, "NO DIAMOND FOH YOO!"?

Or colored stones or whataever.

As usual, I agree with Deco...my list of annoying/problem/couldn''t care less about ''em posters is probably different from yours. Different strokes for different folks, so just read what you wanna read or run the risk of getting into a heated debate.

I''ve had my share of many on PS over the years. But I never hold a grudge and can honestly say I don''t really have a problem with anyone, which is nice. Obviously I can''t claim the reverse!

 

[Upgradable]

Most of the time I'm fine with ignoring people who rub me the wrong way. The only time trouble tempts me is if they start being hurtful toward others. And I've been guilty of letting them know that. And I've accepted my lumps because of that.

 

[decodelighted]

How many other people can''t get the song "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?" out of their everlovin'' minds now?

 

[luckystar112]

I must say that this thread is so bizarre to me. Either my skin is thicker than cow hide or I''m missing all the good threads.

I was just thinking the other day about how mellow PS has become (less cattiness, extreme snark). Apparently I''m oblivious to the problem or I AM the problem.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/23/2009 8:28:44 PM
Author: luckystar112
I must say that this thread is so bizarre to me. Either my skin is thicker than cow hide or I''m missing all the good threads.

I was just thinking the other day about how mellow PS has become (less cattiness, extreme snark). Apparently I''m oblivious to the problem or I AM the problem.

It''s you, Lucky. I''ve trained you well Grasshopper.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 8/23/2009 8:14:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I''ve had my share of many on PS over the years. But I never hold a grudge and can honestly say I don''t really have a problem with anyone, which is nice. Obviously I can''t claim the reverse!

Cause TGal omg, you are SO MEAN! Darn you!

I prefer the term blunt.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I personally try to think really hard about the things I say. Even if I'm giving tough love...it's still love, you know?

I think it's so easy to say "it's just a forum, don't take it to seriously" but I always remind myself that there are real people on here with real feelings...I try my best not to hurt them. (ETA: sometimes I do know that I've been guilty of offending/hurting someone...and I feel badly about that each and every time)

People are entitled to their opinions, theories, thoughts...but it's never what you say, rather how you say it. I know it's lofty, but if people would think, pause, rethink and then write, it might have an overall nicer outcome more often than not.

 

[packrat]

Date: 8/23/2009 8:25:18 PM
Author: decodelighted
How many other people can''t get the song ''How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?'' out of their everlovin'' minds now?

Weeeellll, I wasn''t thinking it until you said it..and I really only know part of the song, so it''s kinda like my inner record player has a scratch in it. Thanks for that.

haha

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/23/2009 8:14:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Scream at them, ''NO DIAMOND FOH YOO!''?

Or colored stones or whataever.

As usual, I agree with Deco...my list of annoying/problem/couldn''t care less about ''em posters is probably different from yours. Different strokes for different folks, so just read what you wanna read or run the risk of getting into a heated debate.

I''ve had my share of many on PS over the years. But I never hold a grudge and can honestly say I don''t really have a problem with anyone, which is nice. Obviously I can''t claim the reverse!

I''ll add my own "Yup" here.

My nemesis won''t be your nemesis. My ''know-it-all'' poster won''t be yours, either.

And there''s a good chance I''ll be your ''problem poster''. There''s an excellent chance you could become mine. Except . . . I don''t take much of this personally. Or give it much importance. I''m always surprised that other people do.

Ignoring your least favorite poster is the best option. I say this with a perfectly straight face, being reminded by my conscience of the many feathers that I have ruffled by NOT ignoring my least favorite posters. Some lessons were hard won. Please do not model your behavior after my own.

 

[sbde]

lisa! just wanted to say it''s so nice to see you back after all this time. i remember you from way back in the preggo thread when a few of us had just had BFP''s. hope all is well with you

 

[VRBeauty]

DNR.

do not respond.