What to do about my cat?

[violet02]

This may wind up being a bit controversial but I thought I''d post here and get some thoughts on this.

My cat is 15 years old. She''s in ok shape and has all of her teeth amazingly. She does have some stomach problems and has for years. She barfs a couple times a week or more at times (not cat hair) and has to be on a special hypo-allergenic diet. She used to barf all the time but the diet has really changed this for her. She''s been on it for 5 years now. Last time I took her to the vet they asked me to bring her in again in 6 months because they detected a heart murmur the year before and it seemed to be getting more prevalent. I''m supposed to bring her in soon to get that checked.

So she''s always been a difficult cat. She loves me but hates just about everyone else. She''s very mean. She''s sweet for about a minute then attacks you. She lures you into thinking it''s okay to pet her. The older she gets the worse it gets. She''s been prone to go after me at times. I''ve had another cat which made it even worse for her, a friend took that cat eventually anwyays since having two cats was tough for me and I''d adopted the second one with an old ex-boyfriend. I''ve had a dog now for about 5 years and she REALLY hates him. He loves cats but he''s grown to really hate her too. Because she''s so mean most people give him more attention which just makes her even madder.

I do love my cat a ton but I''m not sure what to do about her now that I''m about to get married (October). My FI and I don''t live together. He lives about a block away. He has a relatively bad allergy to cats and has to take a lot of allergy meds to deal with being over at my house. My dad has a very very bad asthmatic/stops breathing type allergy to cats but lives on the east coast so it''s never been a huge issue. He just can''t be in my apartment or stay there or anything when he''s in town. Eventually when we buy a house (we almost did a couple of months ago) I''d like my dad to be able to stay there.

So my FI and I are holding off on moving in together until we''re married probably in October. In the meantime I need to work out some sort of plan for the cat. Right now she has a cat door and lets herself in and out. But once he moves in we won''t be able to have all that cat hair and her in the house anymore. He can''t live with the cat, he''s pretty much thrown down the gauntlet about that. Sure I''d prefer to have him on allergy meds and just to deal with it but it''s not really going to work out like that.

I don''t want to put her in a shelter. That''s where I got her from and I feel responsible for her and I don''t think anyone will adopt her. She''s pretty vicious. She''s one of those cats they have to put the hood on at the vets office. I don''t know anyone that will take her either. Also I do think her health is getting worse, she''s showing some signs of health issues which is why I have to take her in (pee''ing a lot, barfing more etc). I''ll take her in next week. The only other option is (don''t shoot me for this) putting her to sleep. That''s really not the option I''m going for here but it''s on the table.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do? I know there are a lot of cat lovers on here so I don''t want to offend anyone with any of the above options but I wanted to put it out there to see what people have to say.

Thanks.

 

[Circe]

Ouch - tough situation.

I completely respect all of the issues surrounding this, but ... bottom line is, she''s your cat. She *is* your responsibility, and more than that, she''s, well, your family. Putting her to sleep is Not an Option, not unless her health fails to the point that it would be an act of mercy: doing it for the sake of convenience is just plain wrong. Your FI kinda needs to understand that - I mean, seriously, would he really want to marry the kind of person who''d abdicate responsibility to that degree? Does *he* want to be the kind of a person who''d force the decision?

Either you should hunt around for someone who''s willing to adopt her (and there are a fair number of people involved in animal rescue who will take in all kinds of cats, even wacky ones - particularly if you offer to keep footing her medical bills), or FI kinda needs to suck it up and get the allergy shots for as long as it takes, and when she reaches the end, you''ll have the house cleaned from top to bottom.

I hope I haven''t been too harsh here, but this is something I feel very strongly about.

 

[wishful]

Awww..geez...this is definitely a tough situation.

If I were presented with the only two options being putting her in a shelter where it would be UNlikely she'd get adopted or humanely putting her down -I'd have to go with putting her down. I think putting her in a shelter would be torture and with her age, personality and health it would drastically lower the chances of her getting adopted.
Unless there were certain shelters that have nice accomodations and she'd be comfortable staying there. But the only ones I've ever come across, the animals all stay in cages. Not my idea of a nice life.
But I wish there were another solution!!!

Maybe your new home will have an extra room that could be the "cat room" ?? That might cut down on cat dander everywhere in the house.

 

[violet02]

Circe - I totally see where you''re coming from hence the controversy of suggesting that as an option but for those folks that do have bad allergies to animals it can be tough to live in a 700 square foot apartment in that situation. It''s not just a matter of getting shots. I know my dad hands down would never live in that sort of situation, he''s almost afraid of cats at this point in his life he flips when they even get near him. I''ve really tried to push the issue but he''s not budging on it (the FI that is) and if I had bad allergic reactions I don''t think I''d budge either. It''s tough when it''s not your animal either... not sure what else to say about that.


Wishful - I would prefer to put her to sleep if it was between a shelter and that as my only options. I won''t have a new home right away, maybe later in the fall, or next spring but in the meantime we''ll be moving in together in my apartment. I had suggested the idea of having a separate cat room if we did get a new house, FI wasn''t too happy about that but in that situation I''m sure we could compromise. We aren''t moving right now though. It''s also pricey to live in our area and we''ll be saving money by moving into my place for awhile.

 

[dragonfly411]

Although I agree that you can''t put your cat down for convenience, I think your cat is reaching a point where she isn''t leading a healthy lifestyle, nor a happy one. The throwing up multiple times a week, and not getting along with any other animal, nor any other person, makes me think that she probably isn''t very happy. She probably is very lonely. Her eating habits, and digestive problems have gotten worse over the years, as has her heart murmer. To me, keeping an animal alive when it is healthy and/or has a chance to be healthy is one thing, but keeping it alive in old age, as body parts are beginning to fail, and it may not be living a happy life is another things separately. We had a mare for instance, who had terrible asthma. She also was very much not a herd horse, she wanted to be alone. At 22 her asthma reached a high, and we had medication for her, and she otherwise was very healthy, but she wasn''t leading a happy life. The spark was gone out of her eye. That''s when it is time to let go. It sounds to me like your cat AND your boy would be very unhappy in that living situation, and your cat deserves more. I''ll leave it at that. I don''t want to sway you either way, just to take into consideration whether your cat is living a healthy and happy life right now.

 

[violet02]

Thanks a lot dragonfly. Although as I''ve said before it is a controversial topic (ie, putting my cat down) but it''s something I actually am considering doing. I needed to hear other folks thoughts on it. I haven''t talked to the vet about it yet and have been a bit afraid too but I''m sure they will be okay discussing it with me.

 

[Pandora II]

Personally I''d go for finding a foster home and paying all her bills.

FI has seriously bad cat allergies, but would love a cat. My parents keep siamese and it''s a nightmare whenever we go there as he can basically only come into the house for meals and that only if he is super-doped up on meds. So I totally understand your FI''s predicament.

But, I don''t believe in putting an animal to sleep as a convenience, so I would work out a solution that doesn''t involve that.

I very briefly dated a guy with a snake phobia. When he discovered I kept pythons, he made it clear that he would expect me to get rid of them. I made a potential 50 year commitment to them when I bought them, so I opted to stick with my beasties and not the boy!

 

[violet02]

How do you go about finding a foster home?? I don''t know anyone that would take her at all.

 

[2Artists]

This topic really makes me cry. You have mentioned some of the the problems with your cat but it could also help to remember some of the redeeming qualities of your cat in addition. I know pets can be little stinkers don''t get me wrong. But there must be positive characteristics that drew you to her or you would likely not have gotten her in the first place. Try to remember good times with her. It really might help to look for some of the positives. We can always find positives or negatives if we are looking for them. Do you see the rose or the thorns? What you focus on expands. For example if I told you to look for the color red suddenly you would start seeing it everywhere because that is what you are looking for.

Granted your situation has some very obvious difficulties and negatives. There is no denying that. But just for an experiment try very hard to remember what drew you to her to begin with. You said you got her from a shelter (which is to be very commended). Who knows what she went through prior to that. Do you have any cute pictures of her that you could look at to help spark the positive memories? Also you mentioned that your cat loves you-that has to count for something right. That is not to be taken for granted. Finding beings that love us unconditionally is not always easy to come by in this world.

I do not think that it is ever acceptable to put down a living being for convenience. I think that you know that also in your heart of hearts or you would not have asked for opinions from us animal lovers. When we take on an animal we take on a huge responsibility for their life. They love us with all their hearts till their last breath and we need to show them the same love. If she has severe health problems that are causing her awful pain then that would be a different story. I may be a lone voice in this but I think it is a good idea to apply the golden rule to our animal companions as well. If you suddenly switched places with your cat what would you want your caretaker to do?
If it is completely impossible for you to keep her then find her another home. I bet you can find a creative solution for this however. Best wishes in dealing with this and I mean no offense whatsoever in my above comments.

female half 2Artists

 

[violet02]

2Artists - I hear what you''re saying. I do love my cat. I don''t think she''s horrible or anything even though she''s mean I know she loves me the most and usually wants to be near me as much as possible. My FI and I are both very nice to hear not matter what and we do what we can to make life comfortable for her, but he just can''t live with her. The only other solution is to make her a fully outdoor cat. I have an enclosed patio area that''s private, she gets in and out of it by using the trees to get up on the roof. The only issue I have with that is that I think keeping her outdoors full time wouldn''t be kind to her either, she''d always want to be in the house. I used to try and keep her out for a couple of hours at times if I had an extra dog over and all she does is bang away at the cat door and howl so that''s not workable.

It is a sad situation for sure. I''ve tried to get creative but I''m just not seeing any solutions in keeping her at my apt. if my FI can''t live with her.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Hi Violet. I am so sorry to hear of the difficult situation with your cat.

Just to toss out ideas of what may be possible in our situation, when I was a teenager a "new" cat appeared on our block. She was skin and bones, and despite having two cat-haters in the family (mother and brother) and two folks with pretty severe cat allergies (brother and father), the whole family felt terrible for her and began feeding her. Needless to say, within a week we had a full-time kittie. After the vet said she''d been on the streets for at least six months, we committed 100% to the cat. Because of familial allergies, she couldn''t be an indoor kittie, so by day she hung out outside (mostly in the backyard around the pool) and by night we let her in a side door to our garage.

Of course, it helped that our kittie was an absolute sweetie. But human allergies are serious too. Any chance you can find a solution that works for all parties, like a tricked-out outdoor cathouse or selecting a house with a garage you can modify to make cat-friendly?

 

[violet02]

So I talked to my FI and said I would take her to the vet and find out what her health situation was. If she has serious health problems then we have to take that into consideration. If she's perfectly healthy I found this site http://www.allerpet.com/ that talks about what you can bathe cats with to reduce allergins. I also found this site which had a lot of handy info. http://catnet.stanford.edu/articles/living_with_allergies.html

I proposed to him that if the cat is perfectly healthy that I'll start using allerpet (if the vet approves) and then have the house cleaned from top to bottom and the carpet cleaners in to de-hair and de-dander the place. Then he could come over and start seeing if he had any reactions to the cat after a couple of months. If that clears things up for him then I think he'd be fine with living with the cat.

So there's hope!

If anyone has any experience with allerpet or anything like that let me know if it works.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

This is a tough situation and I see both sides, as I am a cat lover, but I know how serious allergies can be, and they are something to be taken serously. My boyfriend is allergic to everything, I am sure my cats do not help, luckly he is a cat lover too.

I think your cats health situation may be a serious problem, and if it is, than you will decide where you need to go from there. I think a cat with that temperment at a shelter would be call "farrell" and not be allowed to be adopeted. I would hate to see a cat who lived in a home spend their last days in that situation.

You ideas for allergies are good, but cat dander is a hard beast to get rid of, I would say it is even harder than dust mites. Even after all the cleaning, it takes months to go away. I think a trial of your plan is a good idea, but I am worried it may fail. However, I can tell you, I know tons families with someone with severe allergies, and they co-exist with the cat. They do, however have houses (and the cats have room to roam). Here are some of the changes they make.

- Keep the cat out of the room where the allergic person sleeps at all times (this is the most important thing)
-Floors are always better than carpet, you can never fully remove cat dander from carpet. No matter how good the vaccum
- consider slipcovering the furniture, than washing it weekly (that will kill dust mites as well).
- consider plastic over the mattress and pillow. There are diffent levels at different prices. Mid range covers (that seem soft) cost about $12 for a full size bed. I am about to get some. My plan is to get the cheep vinal for the box spring, the midgrade one for the mattress, and the high end one for the pillow. Cleaning these is as simple as wiping them down, mattresses are very hard to clean.
- I am not sure if bathing a cat will help, and if you cat has claws, I am worried about your saftey.
-sweep and mop the floors weekly (I notice that my boyfriend sleeps better after I clean).

Just some more suggestions. Wish you the best at your vet trip.

 

[Babyblue033]

I''m so happy to see that you''re considering all options. All too often people give up too quickly but obviously you love your cat and want to do what''s best for her.

I''m allergic to my cats as well, which kind of popped up about 4-5 years ago when I got my first pair after I moved out, but by then it was already too late and I was hooked. It''s gotten somewhat better over the years and some of the things that helped me are: taking allergy meds daily (once I found the one that works for me), not having carpet (made a HUGE difference!), using HEPA filter in the bedroom, using vacuum cleaner with HEPA filter, cleaning the house more often, keeping my bedroom off limits for cats, etc.

As for the original question, if I had an older cat with failing health, and only after exhausting all options I was left with the last option of sending him to the shelter, then yes I''d consider putting him down. Nothing breaks my heart more than senior animals in shelters, they have so little chance of finding homes and making them spend the last months/years of their lives in the shelter is beyond cruel IMO. I would much rather be there for him during his last moments, no matter how difficult it may be for me.

And this is from someone who loves her cats more than anything/anyone (yes, even my BF and he knows it!

)

 

[iheartscience]

Um, I don''t think this is that tough of a situation. You adopted this cat. She is your responsibility. I understand that your fiance is allergic to cats, but there are steps that can be taken to help those with allergies, which you are clearly aware of.

At age 15, she probably doesn''t have many years left. I''m sure your fiance can live with her if you clean religiously and keep her out of the bedroom. Honestly, I can''t even believe that you would say that putting her to sleep for your convenience is on the table. That''s just disgusting to me. And I don''t know any reputable vet that would put a relatively healthy cat to sleep just because her owner doesn''t want her anymore.

 

[VRBeauty]

Oh Violet, what a difficult situation!

I've had two cats with that same attitude problem. One was a stray that adopted me and the other was twice-rescued. I suspect that mis-treatement somewhere in their past accounted for it, but I've seen and heard of this often enough that I'm not sure... maybe the independence that makes a cat a cat also predisposes them to this hot and cold personality! The first cat I had that did this lived to be 21 and eventually got over it... it took some work. She would freak out if I picked her up and tried to walk anywhere with her (I think I know the origins of that one). I got her used to that by picking her up once or twice a day just. At first I'd just hold her, talking to her the whole time. Then I started adding a few steps into the mix, and eventually being picked up was no big deal to her anymore. I've also learned to watch for signs that a cat has reached her limit off petting and attention -- ears back, tail switching slowlyl, etc. -- and I should just back off. But if I happen to miss the signs and the cat gets vicious, I don't hesitate to push them away from me forcefully (i.e., push them off the bed, couch, or whatever space I'm sharing with them.) I figure it's a two-way street.

My local newspaper also had a pet column that addressed this issue once. The writer recently wrote another column on the same topic:

http://www.petconnection.com/articles.php?action=detail&id=4398

You might ask your vet about medications that might help. Needless to say most vets would be resistant, but if the alternative is putting them to sleep.... Maybe?

I hope things you're trying to reduce allergens help. If not, might keeping the cat out of the house (or out of certain parts of the house) a problem? My next door neighbor has terrible allergies, but when a little old lady cat adopted him he fed her on his back porch and his GF took care of anything that involved handling the cat.... although I did see him pet the cat once in awhile! Not an ideal situation, but the cat was old and it would have been hard to find another home for her, and she seemed content. My carpool buddy and his wife confined a cat to the garage or back yard after it stopped using its litterbox on a regular basis. Again not ideal, but better than the alternatives.

The last thought that came to mind is cat rescue operations. Several people where I work are involved with organizations that rescue cats and try to work on domestication issues and then find new adoptive homes for them.

By the way, I was at one time faced with the dilema of what to do with an extremely antisocial cat. As it happened I was able to work around it... but, I do understand. I do hope you'll be find able to solution and I know you're going to do your best to do so, but... If you and FI aren't able to make the options work, my feeling is that your new husband and new marriage come before the cat.

 

[Hera]

Date: 6/11/2008 10:44:17 PM
Author: thing2of2
Um, I don''t think this is that tough of a situation. You adopted this cat. She is your responsibility. I understand that your fiance is allergic to cats, but there are steps that can be taken to help those with allergies, which you are clearly aware of.

At age 15, she probably doesn''t have many years left. I''m sure your fiance can live with her if you clean religiously and keep her out of the bedroom. Honestly, I can''t even believe that you would say that putting her to sleep for your convenience is on the table. That''s just disgusting to me. And I don''t know any reputable vet that would put a relatively healthy cat to sleep just because her owner doesn''t want her anymore.

ditto

I would find a foster home or deal with the pet allergy problem.

 

[violet02]

LtlFirecracker - Thank you for all the tips on dealing with allergies! I used to be really allergic to dust mites but allergy meds have helped a lot. I do have a hepa filter I run at all times. I was going to get the carpets professionaly cleaned (again) but it's good to know that vacuuming doesn't do the trick. I can't actually bathe my cat and I haven't in years. She messed me up pretty badly many years ago so now I do one of those wet wipe baths on her, that's about all she'll take. Also I agree that she wouldn't be adopted out. She really is bordering on completely hostile to people.

Babyblue - I agree with you about the shelter. It would be too sad to put her in a shelter. I got her from a woman that rescued her from the pound and I don't want to see her put in a shelter where no one would want to be around her. She is older though so we'll see how her health is as well.

thing2of2 - The reason I posted is not to get assurance that I should put my cat down for the sake of convenience but to try and figure out options as to what there is to do in the situation. I don't want to put her down if she is perfectly healthy but as it stands now she's not perfectly healthy. It remains to be seen if she has a heart murmur or not and what the situation is with her pee'ing all the time, something my cat sitter says is a sign of issues. Whether or not she will live 5 more years remains to be seen, but in the meantime my FI can't live with her in our current state. I'll have to see what the vet says next week.

minims - Thanks for the article, thats pretty much how I pet her. On the head, nose behind the ears. She doesn't like her back touched at all. But she's been that way since she was little. She only likes so much petting too before she's had it with you. I've had her for so long though that I just roll with it and she's pretty good to me most of the time.

I do need to talk to my vet further about the allergy options. I'm not sure how many people would adopt a 15 year old cat with an expensive prescription only diet. it's a lot to take on.

hereaanderson - I've had foster homes mentioned before, how do you find foster homes for cats? It's a big undertaking for someone to take on an anti-social cat with some pricey health issues. I'm not sure how that would even work.
----

In re: to keeping the cat out of the bedroom, logistically its impossible. The cat door is part of the sliding door that goes out to the patio via the bedroom. I don't have conventional doors since I live in an eichler style apartment with sliding doors, no real windows (skylights and small window space). It's a great apartment due to the privacy of the patio and the trees in it but it does pose some interesting problems in re: to traditional doors. Years back I bought one of those electromagnetic sensor cat doors thats part of a piece of glass that fits into the sliding glass door. That was the only way to get a cat door in here. So she has got to get in and out via the bedroom. She's not an indoor only cat and doesnt like being cooped up in the house at all. Particularly since there's really only two rooms in this place and a dog she'd have to share the other one with.

 

[Heidi137]

It''s a tough situation but your family has to come first. Besides the allergies, I cannot imagine having my own animal attack me and then having to deal with chronic vomiting and the health issues involved with that. I''d be looking for an outside home if I could find one but wouldn''t feel guilty if putting the cat to sleep were the only other alternative. I don''t think many vets would have a problem putting a 15 year old cat with chronic digestive issues, a heart murmur, and is viscious to boot to sleep. Our local animal shelter has an 85% kill rate so many young, healthy and friendly animals are put down regularly. (I''m sure our puppy Daisy would have been a statistic if we hadn''t adopted her a few months ago).

 

[Circe]

Violet02, I hope you''re not feeling like nobody''s listening - I''ve been thinking about this since I posted, and feeling a little guilty about some of my phrasing. If it changes anything, I should mention that I have allergies and asthma myself, so I feel your father and FI''s pain: I was just fine when I got my cat 9 years ago, and then a year or two down the line I started sneezing viciously, so I went on an OTC allergy medication ... and then at 23, I developed asthma after a sinus infection, so I had to up the ante to prescription drugs and an inhaler on the bed-side table. I had one serious BF in the interim who was violently allergic to her, to the point that his eyes would swell up into cute little golf balls if he slept in the same room with her (he took allergy shots, which worked really well), and my husband''s allergies are about on a par with my own. Is it fun to spend oodles of money each month on medication, new and improved Roombas, and the like? Well ... no. Is it kinda what I signed on for when I adopted her? Well ... yes.

Definitely try the Allerpet stuff (I''ve heard good things about this - heck, I think I need to order some!), and when you go see your vet next week, ask if s/he knows of any rescue organizations that might take her for/with a charitable donation to help fund their efforts in finding homes for more easily adoptable cats ... most of the people who run these things are animal lovers par excellence (and also, well ... practical).

 

[Stephanie]

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 172px">Date: 6/12/2008 12:33:48 AM
Author: violet02

It remains to be seen if she has a heart murmur or not and what the situation is with her pee''ing all the time, something my cat sitter says is a sign of issues. Whether or not she will live 5 more years remains to be seen, but in the meantime my FI can''t live with her in our current state. I''ll have to see what the vet says next week.

This is a sign of a weakening immune system. We had a cat that was doing this and we thought that he was just acting out (two cat family) and it turns out that he had a rare blood issue and he had to be put down before he was even a year old.

Depending on what your vet says, if the baths and allergy remedies won''t work, you can find fosters through your local humane society usually.

Did the cat claw you up the last time or bite when you tried to bathe her? Because they make those claw covers that you just slip on cats so they don''t scratch. That could make a bath much easier. Or have someone help you hold her. Also, with the carpets, Dyson makes an allergy vacuum that has a special hepa on it.

Sorry that you are having such a tough time with this.

 

[iheartscience]

I am certainly not against putting a dying animal out of his or her misery, and I understand that your fiance has allergies. But your cat''s comfort doesn''t seem to be your motivation. It sounds like you''re pretty much keeping your fingers crossed that she''s sick enough that you can put her to sleep and not feel too guilty about it. That''s just so unbelievably awful to me that I can''t even really fathom it. In fact, I reread your posts just to make sure that''s really what you''re saying, and yep-that''s what you are saying.

When you adopt an animal, they are your responsibility. Of course your circumstances will change, but that is not your cat''s fault. She doesn''t deserve to die because your fiance doesn''t want to deal with allergies. Euthanizing her when she doesn''t have a terminal condition is simply amoral.

It sounds like you already have your mind made up to do so, in which case, I can only hope that you will never adopt another animal again.

 

[Cleopatra]

Date: 6/12/2008 9:29:32 AM
Author: thing2of2
I am certainly not against putting a dying animal out of his or her misery, and I understand that your fiance has allergies. But your cat''s comfort doesn''t seem to be your motivation. It sounds like you''re pretty much keeping your fingers crossed that she''s sick enough that you can put her to sleep and not feel too guilty about it. That''s just so unbelievably awful to me that I can''t even really fathom it. In fact, I reread your posts just to make sure that''s really what you''re saying, and yep-that''s what you are saying.


When you adopt an animal, they are your responsibility. Of course your circumstances will change, but that is not your cat''s fault. She doesn''t deserve to die because your fiance doesn''t want to deal with allergies. Euthanizing her when she doesn''t have a terminal condition is simply amoral.


It sounds like you already have your mind made up to do so, in which case, I can only hope that you will never adopt another animal again.

I agree with every word of this. The animal is your responsibility and I don''t believe that any creature should be put down for the convenience of an owner.

There have GOT to be options for you - FI taking allergy shots/medication or making a room in the house the "cat room" - there''s GOT to be another alternative...

 

[Heidi137]

I''m allergic to cats and there''s no way that I would be able to have one in my home. However, the allergies are only one factor to consider in this situation. The cat is vomiting regularly in the house-how healthy is it for humans to have to endure that in their environment? Also, what about the aggressive tendencies of the cat-not only to strangers but to her own OWNER?? No way would I have put up with that for 15 years. I do love animals...always have and my dad is a vet but this cat would not take priority over my own or a family member''s health and well-being if she were mine. This is not just a convenience issue.

 

[WTNLVR]

I am someone with VERY severe cat allergies who loves cats but will never be able to have them. If your fiance can''t be in your apartment without lots of meds, I don''t think that will change when the cat is gone. I have been in houses that haven''t had a cat in them in over ten years and still react to the dander in the house. It''s like asbestos for me, you can''t get rid of it. We had to buy new construction when we moved because of this. So, even if you don''t have her anymore, it may not solve the problem.

As far as the cat goes, I''d wait until you see the vet. He can give you an honest opinion about what is going on and what is the most humane thing to do. Good luck.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 6/12/2008 9:35:05 AM
Author: Cleopatra

Date: 6/12/2008 9:29:32 AM
Author: thing2of2
I am certainly not against putting a dying animal out of his or her misery, and I understand that your fiance has allergies. But your cat''s comfort doesn''t seem to be your motivation. It sounds like you''re pretty much keeping your fingers crossed that she''s sick enough that you can put her to sleep and not feel too guilty about it. That''s just so unbelievably awful to me that I can''t even really fathom it. In fact, I reread your posts just to make sure that''s really what you''re saying, and yep-that''s what you are saying.


When you adopt an animal, they are your responsibility. Of course your circumstances will change, but that is not your cat''s fault. She doesn''t deserve to die because your fiance doesn''t want to deal with allergies. Euthanizing her when she doesn''t have a terminal condition is simply amoral.


It sounds like you already have your mind made up to do so, in which case, I can only hope that you will never adopt another animal again.

I agree with every word of this. The animal is your responsibility and I don''t believe that any creature should be put down for the convenience of an owner.

There have GOT to be options for you - FI taking allergy shots/medication or making a room in the house the ''cat room'' - there''s GOT to be another alternative...

+1.

movie zombie

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/12/2008 12:31:25 PM
Author: movie zombie

Date: 6/12/2008 9:35:05 AM
Author: Cleopatra

Date: 6/12/2008 9:29:32 AM
Author: thing2of2
I am certainly not against putting a dying animal out of his or her misery, and I understand that your fiance has allergies. But your cat''s comfort doesn''t seem to be your motivation. It sounds like you''re pretty much keeping your fingers crossed that she''s sick enough that you can put her to sleep and not feel too guilty about it. That''s just so unbelievably awful to me that I can''t even really fathom it. In fact, I reread your posts just to make sure that''s really what you''re saying, and yep-that''s what you are saying.


When you adopt an animal, they are your responsibility. Of course your circumstances will change, but that is not your cat''s fault. She doesn''t deserve to die because your fiance doesn''t want to deal with allergies. Euthanizing her when she doesn''t have a terminal condition is simply amoral.


It sounds like you already have your mind made up to do so, in which case, I can only hope that you will never adopt another animal again.

I agree with every word of this. The animal is your responsibility and I don''t believe that any creature should be put down for the convenience of an owner.

There have GOT to be options for you - FI taking allergy shots/medication or making a room in the house the ''cat room'' - there''s GOT to be another alternative...

+1.

movie zombie

+2.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 6/12/2008 1:25:43 AM
Author: Heidi137
It''s a tough situation but your family has to come first. Besides the allergies, I cannot imagine having my own animal attack me and then having to deal with chronic vomiting and the health issues involved with that. I''d be looking for an outside home if I could find one but wouldn''t feel guilty if putting the cat to sleep were the only other alternative. I don''t think many vets would have a problem putting a 15 year old cat with chronic digestive issues, a heart murmur, and is viscious to boot to sleep. Our local animal shelter has an 85% kill rate so many young, healthy and friendly animals are put down regularly. (I''m sure our puppy Daisy would have been a statistic if we hadn''t adopted her a few months ago).

I agree with Heidi. We had cats that we kept until they died even though our youngest daughter had terrible allergies. Our cats were younger at that time, so I didn''t feel that putting them to sleep was an option. She has been so much better since the cats are no longer here that I feel guilty for having caused her to suffer all those years. But with a 15 year old cat with health problems, I don''t think many vets would object to the idea of putting this cat to sleep. It is extremely unlikely she could find anyone to take a 15 year old cat who is agressive and vomits frequently. (However, it sounds like there are some people on this thread who might take her, Violet, if they are really serious about foster care being the proper option.)

Incidentally, Violet, my cats started peeing on furniture when their kidneys were failing. That was very near the end for them. Seriously, though, I would pose this question to your vet and let him/her advise you. They see this all the time and they do know when it is reasonable to put a pet to sleep and when it is not. And if it is not, perhaps they can help you with the alternatives. I can''t help but think that the baths would be a miserable experience for most cats (and extremely difficult to do) unless she is already accustomed to them, though.

 

[violet02]

Date: 6/11/2008 10:44:17 PM
Author: thing2of2
Um, I don''t think this is that tough of a situation. You adopted this cat. She is your responsibility. I understand that your fiance is allergic to cats, but there are steps that can be taken to help those with allergies, which you are clearly aware of.

At age 15, she probably doesn''t have many years left. I''m sure your fiance can live with her if you clean religiously and keep her out of the bedroom. Honestly, I can''t even believe that you would say that putting her to sleep for your convenience is on the table. That''s just disgusting to me. And I don''t know any reputable vet that would put a relatively healthy cat to sleep just because her owner doesn''t want her anymore.

I dont have my mind made up to do anything. I''m just concerned for the health of the person I''m marrying and trying to come up with options here. She still lives here and he still lives at his place and he''s willing to live separately until we figure out what the best solution is. Maybe we''ll buy a house by then WHO KNOWS.

I do have another adopted pet that I rescued. A dog, he''s young though and doesn''t shed so he hasn''t cause anyone any allergy flareups. Don''t worry I won''t be killing him off if I''m bored or something.

--

Anways thanks for the info everyone. The Kidney thing could be an issue I don''t know. Whatever it is I will see what the vet says. If there is something that''s easily treatable I''m sure I''ll do that and I''ll ask about fosters.

 

[Bliss]

Awww, violet... Just wanted to tell you how sorry I feel for you, your FI and your cat.

I do understand your situation... allergies are no joke. They also tend to get worse over time the more you are exposed to them. Allergy medication is still medication and it does have side effects. It's a prescription drug for a reason.

Still, that poor kitty. I have dogs and I dread the day they leave this world. It's my worst nightmare! I love them so much. A pet is really like an angel sent to you from heaven. It's just so sad...

I know the kitty is hostile, but even so -- there are rescue groups of true cat lovers that might take your cat if it's facing being put down. Maybe it's worth a try?

I sense your FI comes first and my FI does as well. But I bet this is breaking your heart. It is breaking mine!

Try some rescue groups in your area - maybe they will have ideas?