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What is a polite way to decline visitors?

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zhuzhu

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Some friends and family of ourse have being hinting and expressing their interest in coming to visit (and stay with) us for 3-8 days early next year. My DH and I love having guests, but since our house is still going through remodeling of random projects (that we are doing ourselves), I really do not feel comfortable to have guests staying with us.

Of course these people keep saying "of course we do not mind, we will even help". The problem is that I do mind. I am a private person to begin with, and really don''t feel comfortable to have guests in our home when our stuff is all over the place disorganized due to the remodeling of one bathroom and the floor.

What is the most polite way to say no to those who invite themselves repeatedly?

Thanks!
 

Italiahaircolor

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Have you tried saying something along the lines of...

"Oh, we would love to have you come visit...but right now just isn''t the best time for us with the projects and remodeling going on, our stuff is all over the place, and there is just no way you and you''re family would be comfortable. Maybe we could plan something out in ''X'' amount of months when the house is done... that way we can show you the newly revamped house and, we will all be able to actually enjoy our time together without work looming over our heads?"

I think honesty is the best policy with friends....out of town vistors can weigh heavily on the host, esspecially during the remodel process (believe me, I understand)....I think laying it out and playing it straight will not only get the point across, but also give you the opportunity to plan something out for a better point in time!
 

cbs102

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Date: 12/12/2008 12:24:26 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Have you tried saying something along the lines of...

''Oh, we would love to have you come visit...but right now just isn''t the best time for us with the projects and remodeling going on, our stuff is all over the place, and there is just no way you and you''re family would be comfortable. Maybe we could plan something out in ''X'' amount of months when the house is done... that way we can show you the newly revamped house and, we will all be able to actually enjoy our time together without work looming over our heads?''

I think honesty is the best policy with friends....out of town vistors can weigh heavily on the host, esspecially during the remodel process (believe me, I understand)....I think laying it out and playing it straight will not only get the point across, but also give you the opportunity to plan something out for a better point in time!
HA!!! i was just about to tell her to ask you! you would know being that your MIL invited herself to your house!
 

Steel

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How can you politely decline people who rudely invite themselves?

Tell them to sod off!

But really, I would say that "we cannot wait to finish the house because a number of friends and family have expressed an interest to stay over but we have had to refuse everybody until we complete. That said you would be surprised the number of people that insist on inviting themselves!" Let them put that in their pipe and smoke it.

I hate house guests - that is why they invented hotels people!
 

Clairitek

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Date: 12/12/2008 12:24:26 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Have you tried saying something along the lines of...

''Oh, we would love to have you come visit...but right now just isn''t the best time for us with the projects and remodeling going on, our stuff is all over the place, and there is just no way you and you''re family would be comfortable. Maybe we could plan something out in ''X'' amount of months when the house is done... that way we can show you the newly revamped house and, we will all be able to actually enjoy our time together without work looming over our heads?''


I''ve been told something similar to this by a good friend of mine and her husband and I wasn''t at all insulted. I totally understood that it wasn''t convenient for them. It was great to see their progress when we did eventually get to go visit them and their remodeled home complete with an awesome new deck that we pretty much lived on for 3 days.
 

zhuzhu

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I know!
The worst part is that we hear about their plan to come visit through another member in the family, with dates and everything.
They are already planning the trip without EVEN ASKING US FIRST!
15.gif
 

MichelleCarmen

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We had family wanting to stay with use during a bad time (refinishing home to sell and also looking for a condo) and we told them nicely that it was a bad time *emotionally* for us due to stress and the family was extremely nice about we. Rather than saying no, we instead focused on when a good time would be *for us*. Reschedualing is different than saying no.

IMO, having company is 8 days would be FAR too long! That would drive me nuts.
 

iheartscience

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Date: 12/12/2008 12:39:22 PM
Author: Steel
How can you politely decline people who rudely invite themselves?

Tell them to sod off!

But really, I would say that ''we cannot wait to finish the house because a number of friends and family have expressed an interest to stay over but we have had to refuse everybody until we complete. That said you would be surprised the number of people that insist on inviting themselves!'' Let them put that in their pipe and smoke it.

I hate house guests - that is why they invented hotels people!

Hahaha! I hate house guests, too! I just want to be by myself when I get home from work after dealing with people all day! I am not the entertaining type! Maybe I should look into buying a 1 bedroom condo instead of a house, come to think of it...

Zhuzhu-I agree with Italia''s advice, although I do wish you''d use Steel''s! Hahaha!
 

MichelleCarmen

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Date: 12/12/2008 12:44:27 PM
Author: thing2of2
Maybe I should look into buying a 1 bedroom condo instead of a house, come to think of it...
You better sell your couch as well as your home!
 

somethingshiny

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I think both Italia and Steel had good answers. If you want to keep it to a one-liner. Try something like "I would love to have you stay over the Summer."
 

Dreamer_D

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Date: 12/12/2008 12:43:44 PM
Author: zhuzhu
I know!
The worst part is that we hear about their plan to come visit through another member in the family, with dates and everything.
They are already planning the trip without EVEN ASKING US FIRST!
15.gif
Since they haven''t asked you, maybe you should plan your own little trip for the weekend or something when they come
2.gif
After all, they didn''t check with you, so you are free to make your own plans.

11.gif
 

Kaleigh

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Date: 12/12/2008 1:25:24 PM
Author: coatimundi
We say no.
3.gif
Works well doesn''t it??
31.gif
 

iheartscience

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Date: 12/12/2008 12:46:50 PM
Author: MC
Date: 12/12/2008 12:44:27 PM

Author: thing2of2

Maybe I should look into buying a 1 bedroom condo instead of a house, come to think of it...
You better sell your couch as well as your home!

But then I couldn''t lay on it all night, playing on the internet and posting on PS! But that''s not a bad idea...hahaha!
 

zhuzhu

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Date: 12/12/2008 1:47:24 PM
Author: thing2of2
Date: 12/12/2008 12:46:50 PM

Author: MC

Date: 12/12/2008 12:44:27 PM


Author: thing2of2


Maybe I should look into buying a 1 bedroom condo instead of a house, come to think of it...
You better sell your couch as well as your home!


But then I couldn''t lay on it all night, playing on the internet and posting on PS! But that''s not a bad idea...hahaha!

You better keep your couch then!
 

neatfreak

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I''m with the just say no and reschedule crowd. If you truly don''t mind having them sometime, just say "Unfortunately that is a really bad time for us, we''re remodeling and no one would be comfortable...how about XXX date?" If you don''t want them at all just say "We''re sorry, but it really isn''t a good time for us".
 

Pandora II

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Date: 12/12/2008 12:57:55 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 12/12/2008 12:43:44 PM
Author: zhuzhu
I know!
The worst part is that we hear about their plan to come visit through another member in the family, with dates and everything.
They are already planning the trip without EVEN ASKING US FIRST!
15.gif
Since they haven''t asked you, maybe you should plan your own little trip for the weekend or something when they come
2.gif
After all, they didn''t check with you, so you are free to make your own plans.

11.gif
My thoughts exactly...
27.gif
 

~*Alexis*~

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Tell them they have the wrong number....
31.gif
31.gif
31.gif
 

strmrdr

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I am sorry but we can not have guests during that time frame.

Short sweet and to the point.
 

purrfectpear

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I just tell people I live in my underwear once I get home, thus no guests. I''d be happy to recommend some good hotels though
2.gif
 

Maisie

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Its a bit rude that they are planning their visit without even clearing it with you. I would ring them and say that you have heard through someone else that they are planning to come and that you wanted to make sure they didn''t waste any money on travel costs as you won''t be able to have them in the house during that time. If they say that they will help with the work just politely tell them that its a joint venture that you and your husband want to work on as a couple and you look forward to seeing them when the work is complete.

I hate having house guests. I can''t relax with people in my house. I am very private.
 

Rhea

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We won''t be able to accommodate you then, but we''d love for you to come for the weekend during the summer.

I wouldn''t give reasons, they might not take the hint and insist that they don''t mind. That could put you in a position where they think everything has been worked out and you having to get more and more aggressive to say no.
 

CJ2008

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I'm surprised to hear how many people actually hate having house guests...I always think I'm the only one...unfortunately for me, my DH is way more willing and open to house guests...especially with family. Luckily, the stays have been short and few and far in between.

ETA: I agree with everything that has already been said, and I do think Addy made a good point...if you don't want them coming now, I wouldn't give a reason that they could "take away" or "argue against" to suit their purposes for wanting to come.
 
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