What do you do...

[AllieGator]

...when your boyfriend has a different opinion of what the engagement ring should look like?

I want a sapphire solitaire. My boyfriend, however, wants some diamonds in the engagement ring. After much consideration, I''m going to go for the diamonds as well. Even though it''s not what I envisioned, I know that it will be just as nice, and it will mean alot that he had an opinion and worked to make it perfect. So now i''ll probably end up with a three stone ring with a sapphire in the middle

Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else? How do you feel about it?

 

[BlueSki231]

Ya hear about this sometimes..

I haven''t gone through this personally and I probably wouldn''t stand for it. I am going to be the one wearing the ring, and if my guy doesn''t like my tastes then that''s just too bad for him...
haha i sound kind of high maintenance based on that statement

but seriously. I''ve said this before.. If my guy picked out a wedding band that I personally thought was totally hideous but he was over the moon about it and wanted nothing else... then I''m buying him the ring that he''s thrilled over, even if I had something else in mind for him. I would hope my guy would do the same for me. After all, he''s gonna be the one wearing it, not me... Just seeing the excitement on his face would be enough to squash any suggestions as to what I think his ring "should" look like. (I realize men''s wedding bands are pretty simple/standard and they probably don''t get as excited over them as we do our e-rings so this may not be the best analogy, but you know what I mean
I would want my guy to be excited about his ring and not have to think about how he compromised on the style that he REALLY wanted every time he looked at his ring.

Some ladies are totally surprised by their guy choosing their engagement ring. But if your guy wants your involvement and specifically wants to know what you like - he better darn well listen when you tell him what you want! At least that''s how I feel...

I bet your ring is going to be beautiful either way! It doesn''t sound like you''re too upset about the 3 stone idea... how are you feeling about the situation?

 

[VictoriaEremita]

I can sympathize as my boyfriend and I don''t always have the same taste in jewelery. For my e-ring I wanted it to be a design that we both liked and we both had "veto" power over any design we didn''t like. It was important to us that us both fell in love with the ring, and knowing he loves the ring as much as I do adds a special element and makes me love it that much more, but to each their own. I don''t think there is only "one way" to pick out an e-ring. It can definitely be frustrating when he doesn''t like something as much as I do, but there are SO many beautiful ring designs that I know there has to be something out there that will make us both happy.

I love sapphires! Have you seen this Kira Kara e-ring? In person it seriously is stunning!
http://www.kirkkara.com/#section=gallery&productid=6685-R

I''m sure you could reverse the diamonds and sapphires if you liked that better, that way there would still be diamonds in the ring and a sapphire as the main solitaire. Either way, it would be amazing!

Kirk Kara has some other diamond and sapphire designs on his website that I wasn''t able to see in person, but I''m sure are just as beautiful! I hope you and your boyfriend can come to a good compromise and find something that you both love.

 

[sammyj]

I started off wanting a cushion or pear halo...then the Daniel K Rosebud...and now we''re getting a Leon Mege-inspired ring. My BF''s opinion did play a big part in my final decision for the setting and we also have different taste in jewellery. I would say that we ended up compromising since we scratched the halo (he wasn''t a big fan) but added sidestones and extra bling in the gallery/basket. Yes, I am the one who is wearing the ring so he gave me full responsibility for choosing the setting while he took sole charge for the stone. I sought out his opinion because it''s his money and I wanted him to love the purchase as much as I did.

I did ask my BF is he ever thought about picking the ring out himself and he said no. He said he wanted to make sure that I love it and that it''s too big of a purchase to make without consulting me first. With that said, every guy is different and how they go about buying an e-ring is their choice.

Allie, your ring sounds like it will be beautiful but if you''re not 100% sold on having a diamond centre stone, then fight for your sapphire!!! Perhaps you can compromise by having a diamond eternity wedding band

.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

its all about compromise, if the sapphire didnt work for him and the diamonds didnt work for you and youre still not to crazy about this 3 stone mix, in my opinion you two should keep searching. if he wants diamonds in it what about a sapphire solid with diamond pave band or delicate diamond halo? has he seen a lot of rings with gemstone centers? Maybe he just has a misconception about what the ring will look like without a diamond in it.

 

[gem collector]

Allie,
I''m also using a sapphire as my center. It took forever, but I found the perfect one at the right price. I''ll try and post a picture, but I still haven''t figured out how to do it without having to attach it. Anyway, it a 2.20ct cushion cut, unheated, IF, ceylon sapphire. It measures 8.33x7.33x4.17. Problem is I still can decide how I want it set!! It''s all going to boil down to the budget, but since I got an amazing deal on this, I can do a pretty big setting. I just don''t want to detract from it.

 

[sba771]

I agree with Sailors, it is about compromise, but a compromise you both are happy with. You do not sound happy. You sound like you are settling which you shouldn''t have to do IMO. When we first started looking my FI and I had totally different ideas. I actually wanted an emerald cut or side stones in order to have it look really big. (I am a size snob I admit it) but he was really into rounds. I wasn''t a fan at first, but we had many long talks and he actually explained to me circles were symbolic to him hence a round diamond (it has to do with balance in the martial arts he does which translates to life lessons) I heard him out and explained why I was leaning towards emerald (i think they are beautiful, face up large and would be a good shape for my huge hands) We ended up compromising and I do have a round, but it is a very decent size for my man hands. I know that sort of sounds bad, like I would only settle for a large stone, but I hope you get what I am trying to say- that it is your ring and needs to make you happy as well as your FI and you need to work together to find a common ground, but you settling for a style you don''t want just to appease him isn''t the answer. There are TONS of gorgeous sapphire rings out there (september b-day so they are my fav) so I think you should keep looking and show him how amazing they are. Also maybe he is thinking they are not as nice/expensive as diamonds but trust me a good sapphire is just as much if not more than some diamonds.

Wow that was long. Sorry!

 

[gem collector]

I did it...here is my sapphire. Anyone have any ideas on how I should set this? Antique? or modern? I love both styles!

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

sorry to post again, but to further what sba was saying.. i feel like your man might think that getting you and e-ring w/o some diamonds in it would make it seem as if he couldnt afford the diamonds... have you showed him prices of sapphires? maybe hes under the misconception that anything under diamonds is cheaper and just a money-conscious alternative. honestly, my SO had no clue about rings before we started feeling our way through the settings and diamonds. He told me that it was amazing how much was out there for all the different price ranges, and that had he shopped himself he wouldve just went for the classic simple solitaire with metal band because he was under the impression that was the ideal from movies, tv, pop culture. I have no problem with simple solitaires aside from they aren''t my style. Now that we''ve tried some things on he knows what he loves and I know what I love and we have a setting in mind thats the perfect mix of both, but hes keeping the end result a secret until the proposal which is something we both felt we wanted to be a surprise. Having said all that, talk to your SO and ask him why hes thinking diamonds. Maybe that will help to shed some light on everything!

 

[BeachRunner]

FI liked the EC, I liked the princess. I was determined to get the princess (which he would have gotten for me; ultimately, he wanted to get what I loved). WELL, FI was right, because I ended up falling in love with the EC. So, it is compromise, and even sometimes the men will have good suggestions! My advice is not to dismiss anything until you check it out!

Happy Ring Shopping!

 

[jcarlylew82]

same here. i loved the idea of a saphire... until i received my gma''s ring. now its diamonds all the way.

I will save saphires for all other jewelry though.

I think as important as it is to get what you know you will be happy with 100%, there should still be a joint effort, and for the SO to be proud of what they bought.

 

[AllieGator]

My boyfriend knows all about the price of sapphires, and we''ve already chosen the kind of sapphire we are looking for (a native cut oval sapphire, which will take a while to find a good one that we both like.

I think he is concerned about people thinking that it''s not an engagement ring. As much as I like the look of a sapphire solitaire, I''ve decided that as long as the center stone is a sapphire, I''ll be fine with what he chooses. As he is purchasing the ring, I think he should have some input. I think this three stone ring we can both compromise on...I want a sapphire, and he wants a diamond. This way we both get what we want.

For both of us, we want to keep the original engagement ring. I won''t upgrade--I might add a very nice right hand ring, but I always want my original engagement ring. I think this is a design we can both agree on, and we will both be happy with for our marriage. I think it will always look good, though, and will not look dated, which is another plus.

There is a plus side, though--a three stone ring will always look good with a plain wedding band, which I want for its symbolism and tradition. So, every cloud has a silver lining!

 

[mrscushion]

I think that the compromise you've reached sounds very reasonable, but it also would have been reasonable to just ask for a sapphire solitaire, period. You are the one who's going to wear it day in an day out. As for me, I asked my boyfriend for input on several occasions, as his opinion is incredibly important to me -- I want the engagement ring to be a reflection of us both. He has always agreed with my choices, though I suspect that is mostly because he cares less about the actual ring than about the excitement he sees in my eyes when we discuss the ring.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I really feel like it is a good sign for the guy to want to give the girl the ring of HER dreams. That said, I LOVE a sapphire and diamond three stone ring!

Even now, when my husband asks me for my wishlist for an occasion, I respect that he wants the gift to be something he likes as well. But he does work from MY pre-selected list.

Reverse this situation and ask a guy if he wants to choose his own car or if he wants you to do it for him!!!

 

[Dreamgirl]

I had a setting in mind that S didn''t like for me AT ALL. We looked at a ring he always liked for me and I fell in love with it. I never thought I''d like it, but I was wrong once it was on my finger. Then, surprisingly, he found something else that he REALLY REALLY liked for me that jumped out at him- which blew me away because it''s GORGEOUS!!! I mean, incredibly, stunningly gorgeous!!!! So I''ve learned to go with what he wants for me (with the exception that I myself am in love with it too

of course!

) But, if I got one of the two that he loves, I would be incredibly happy. There is also something so romantic in the fact that I would be wearing something he envisions on my finger instead of me TELLING him what to get me...

 

[jmtomaui]

I have to admit that I am partial to 3 stone sapphire and diamond rings as that is what I have. I do have a diamond for my center stone with a beautiful blue sapphire on either side. It is the opposite of what you are looking for but I have no doubt you will love yours as much as I do mine!

When we got serious about shopping, I chose 3 settings that I fell in love with. They were all very dfferent. One was a traditional solitaire, one was a vintage setting w/ a single diamond, and the third was the blank 3 stone ring. The selection of the stone was up to DH and he had to choose one of the three settings. I wanted some element of surprise and I trust his taste.

While I thought he would go the more traditional route of a solitaire as his mom and sisters all had solitaires, he chose the 3 stone ring. It should not have surprised me. DH had been married before and has custody of his 2 sons. When we looked at the 3 stone, I mentioned his love for sapphires and said they could be symbolic of our union as the diamond and the sapphires representing the boys as the meaning behind the other 2 stones. He said he never hesitated after that...

Wishing you all the best - Julie

 

[Winks_Elf]

My bf is going to propose with his mother''s ring, and I am honored. Secretly, I would LOVE that 2.11 carat marquise that we saw in the city in a gorgeous engraved setting, or with some side pears or baguettes, but it''s not going to happen. The ring and the proposal are the two things (aside from the DJ selection) that he has complete control over. This on one hand is kind of difficult for me, considering what I do for a living! On the other hand, I am so touched that he wants to use his mother''s ring. It means a LOT to him, and there is no way I would ever say anything against it, and I feel bad for even wanting something else. There are certain things I will not rock the boat about and this is one of them. That''s just ME, and I am in no way implying that everyone should just leave it to their SO''s to decide what the ring should look like.