well darn...right hand rings

[partgypsy]

I had a (3-stone) diamond ring made when I was of a mind that I still wanted a beautiful diamond ring even if I was not married (divorced as of last May). But going through the process kind of got over it. I also didn't want people misinterpreting the significance of a diamond ring.
Anyways wore it today (right hand) because I bought it and might as well enjoy it, and yep, one coworker I ran into the hallway stopped me and asked how I was doing and we ending up catching up. I thought I saw her looking at the ring but didn't say anything. And while exiting a meeting another coworker stopped me and asked what's up, I see the ring. and I explained laughingly it was my mid life crisis ring, and she told me that people are going to think I'm engaged if I wear that!

It's a 3 stone design worn on my right hand. I DO NOT want people thinking i'm engaged (or having to explain to everyone I'm not engaged) !!!
Should I have gotten a colored stone ring instead, since there is not such an connotation with that and engagement? Or not wear the ring?

 

[partgypsy]

And what's funny I finally am getting more at peace with keeping it, since the guy I'm seeing is definitely NOT into gifting jewelry and is glad that I treated myself (since it gets him off the hook), and knowing in general most guys are NOT into jewelry or diamonds and this way I have a ring I don't have to worry about having to give back with a change in relationship status, etc.

 

[TooPatient]

Keep it and love it! (Oh, and post pictures!) With people doing colored stones and other non-diamond engagement rings it is probably the same reaction no matter what you buy. Hopefully, after the first round of questions, people will decide you just like jewelry and let you enjoy.

 

[mary poppins]

If the ring is on your right hand and you're in the United States, I wouldn't think it had anything to do with marriage. In some other countries it is traditional to wear wedding rings on the right hand, though, so maybe that's causing confusion?

 

[partgypsy]

I am definitely in the US!

Maybe I just need to wear MORE jewelry, so everyone gets desensitized lol

 

[lambskin]

I love a beautiful RHR but only wear it on my 4th finger. I never worry if folks think it is an ER. In fact all of my rings only fit my 4th fingers.

 

[partgypsy]

Which is your 4th finger?

 

[elizat]

Just wear it... I think it's your hand. Your fingers. Wear it where you want and what you want. You only get one life to wear things you enjoy. I prefer diamonds too. I am not married ( I live with a man that doesn't believe in the concept, but that's another topic) and I wear diamonds on whatever finger I feel like.

 

[elizat]

And people are silly. If they see a diamond of any kind some assume engagement. That's silly. Wear what you enjoy.

 

[whitewave]

I think it’s totally fine and for you to enjoy it!

 

[bludiva]

Keep it and wear it on any finger you want

 

[monarch64]

"Normal" jewelry lovers like us wouldn't think a thing of it--we'd probably all assume it was a RHR! Weirdos like your officemates are the problem, not you.

 

[partgypsy]

"Normal" jewelry lovers like us wouldn't think a thing of it--we'd probably all assume it was a RHR! Weirdos like your officemates are the problem, not you.

She's not a weirdo, she's really nice. But it kind of confirms my suspicion people see diamond ring = engagement. Oh well.

 

[monarch64]

She's not a weirdo, she's really nice. But it kind of confirms my suspicion people see diamond ring = engagement. Oh well.

I was just being facetious; I'm sure she is lovely and well-intentioned.

 

[ringo865]

And weird... People in real life don’t get it. My now husband (so, an obviously great person) noticed over the course of our three-year acquaintance, never made a move because he thought I was married (diamond RHR, ring, but no other diamonds on left hand). It was only after this three years of us talking that he discovered I had been divorced for 9 years. We were engaged three months later.

Because of that three years he feels we missed out on because of how he thought I was married, he coined the nickname for me: Ringo. And, he’s a drummer. Clever

 

[Indylady]

I wear a diamond halo (it’s a classic e ring type look) as a RHR and no one has ever commented on it or noticed it, and definitely never at work. If the attention bugs you, I’d reset or buy something new.

 

[Bron357]

Do your own thing!
You can’t help what people might think or not think !
When my rings went in for remodeling I was “sans rings” for nearly 2 months and had not 1 but 2 school Mums come up and ask “how I was going”.
It didn’t twig until much later.
No rings so they thought my marriage was ended.
6 weeks later it gets better. another school Mum joked about not wasting precious time and congratulated me on my new engagement.

 

[Calliecake]

I’ve known lots of women who wear their mother, grandmother or aunts diamond ring on their right hand. Most American women wear their engagement ring on their left hand. Wear your beautiful ring and enjoy it.

 

[GliderPoss]

Do your own thing!
You can’t help what people might think or not think !
When my rings went in for remodeling I was “sans rings” for nearly 2 months and had not 1 but 2 school Mums come up and ask “how I was going”.
It didn’t twig until much later.
No rings so they thought my marriage was ended.
6 weeks later it gets better. another school Mum joked about not wasting precious time and congratulated me on my new engagement.

Bron you should have totally said with deadpan face "why yes he/she is wonderful..." and left them wondering!

 

[AV_]

Maybe I just need to wear MORE jewelry, so everyone gets desensitized lol

Count my vote for this one.

 

[KaeKae]

The idea that an unattached woman cannot wear a diamond ring is outdated, at best. It may come from a time when people didn't have as much jewelry, especially unmarried women, but it also is/was a way to control how women look to the world, socially. Pfffft to that!

Today we can and should wear what we want. So, wear that baby, and be proud of it. Some like the idea of past/present/future as a sentiment behind the three stone. If you like that, it sure can be for you. Past: over and done. Present: embracing the now. Future: looking to what is to come. Why would that be only for those who are engaged or married?

 

[missy]

To echo some of the other posters here wear what you love and don't worry about what others think of you. At times like these I like to remember the wise quote "what others think of me is none of my business" and I walk the walk too I don't just talk the talk. I am dealing with some challenges at the moment and you know what? I am not going to let my fear of what others might think detract from my enjoyment of life.

And wearing bling brings me enjoyment as do other things which I am not sharing here but suffice to say I practice what I preach. That is, I do not let others dictate my behavior or actions and affect what I want to wear be it clothes, hair or bling.

Live your life with joy and love and dance like no one is watching.

 

[elizat]

Just for the heck of it, here's my three stone I wear. Sometimes on my left hand of it's humid and my fingers are swollen. My right is slightly smaller. And I don't care what people think of it.

Well, one person at my office told me it was small and asked if it was between a half carat and a quarter carat total. But whatever.

 

[missy]

Just for the heck of it, here's my three stone I wear. Sometimes on my left hand of it's humid and my fingers are swollen. My right is slightly smaller. And I don't care what people think of it.

Well, one person at my office told me it was small and asked if it was between a half carat and a quarter carat total. But whatever.

Gorgeous

 

[partgypsy]

I don't mind any of it except I don't want handsome eligible guys not approaching because they think I'm taken

I had a story similar to Ringo in college. There was this guy I had a crush on. One of the first time we met, I was walking with a good (girl) friend, and he asked, "so you two, are a couple?" so we joked "of course", and ott hugged each other and rolled out the ground, laughing. And he was like, oh well. I think that went on for a year until I finally told him how I felt and he was, "I thought you were gay?" Guys are not always the most clued in.

 

[tigertales]

And weird... People in real life don’t get it. My now husband (so, an obviously great person) noticed over the course of our three-year acquaintance, never made a move because he thought I was married (diamond RHR, ring, but no other diamonds on left hand). It was only after this three years of us talking that he discovered I had been divorced for 9 years. We were engaged three months later.

Because of that three years he feels we missed out on because of how he thought I was married, he coined the nickname for me: Ringo. And, he’s a drummer. Clever

There's a good lesson here. Same thing happened to me. I just remember the men who DID ask about it always said whenever they see diamonds, be it rings or even earrings, it signals to them the woman has a guy who is gifting her. A lot of guys still feel a diamond is sort of a man's prerogative to give, so they make that assumption.

 

[stracci2000]

Heck, I rotate diamond rings around all the time from hand to hand to suit my mood. I have fun with my rings!
I wear 3.75 on the pinky and up to 7.5 on my index finger. I even have a man's diamond ring that I wear from time to time.
I just leave people guessing about my marital status!

 

[MeowMeow]

I think it's sort of a damned if you do, damned if you don't kinda thing. I've had people think I was married whether I wore a ring or not.

 

[KaeKae]

There's a good lesson here. Same thing happened to me. I just remember the men who DID ask about it always said whenever they see diamonds, be it rings or even earrings, it signals to them the woman has a guy who is gifting her. A lot of guys still feel a diamond is sort of a man's prerogative to give, so they make that assumption.

Even earrings? I would never have thought of that. Other than my engagement ring, all other diamond jewelry I own was a gift from family or inherited. Even before PS, I would never assume that a pair of earrings or a necklace was from a MAN. Which shows you how different all our brains work, then.

 

[AV_]

Who knows what another thinks - unless I or they ask.

Interesting rings get allot of questions!