wedding Q...who pays the 2nd time around?

[Dancing Fire]

the Bride's parent paid for their daughter's first wedding but her marriage didn't work out,then down the road she remarries another guy. does the bride's parent again? what's the basic American rule?..

 

[reader]

Actually, the bride's parents paying the first time around is a rather dated concept. Second time around is always on the couple themselves.

 

[JewelFreak]

Agreed. If you're old enough to get married, divorced & married, you're old enough to pay for your own wedding.

--- Laurie

 

[zoebartlett]

Brides and grooms tend to pay for a portion of their wedding these days. If there's ever a second marriage for one of them, I think it's assumed that paying for it is up to the couple completely.

 

[atroop711]

I'd say the bride and groom should pay. I'm pretty sure some ppl still go by that outdated rule of bride's family paying BUT in my family, you pay for your own wedding. In my family tradition is the bride's parents will pay for the dress. My husband and I saved up for a few yrs to pay for the wedding in full without the help from anyone.

SO for a 2nd wedding..I'd tell the bride be an adult and pay for your own wedding

 

[merilenda]

I don't think this is one of those rules, I think this is just about the particular family in question. Just as some families contribute to a a couple's wedding (first time or not), others don't.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

When I married the first time I had two people at my wedding...just the people who were our witnesses. That marriage lasted aboiut 5 years. When I married the second time My parents gave me a set amount of money. It covered most of the expenses, but we had a relatively small wedding.

 

[Rhea]

Whoever wants to and can afford it. If parents don't volunteer, then the couple pays. This goes whether it's the 1st marriage or the 15th marriage.

 

[rosetta]

oh DF, there shouldn't be an expectation of anyone else paying for your wedding but yourselves. that should be the only "rule".

however, if parents want to foot the bill then great (and lucky couple!) and that should be whatever number wedding it is.

i mean if, for example, if the parents were not at all keen on the first husband, and love the second one, they may well want to step in with a bit of cash....


ps. we can pay for a fabulous wedding ourselves but our parents want to pay for it as per tradition (both sets of parents will contribute equally) and want us to save our money for a house deposit instead. i'm not arguing!

 

[monarch64]

My parents paid for my first wedding. I divorced, and am now engaged again. We will be paying for our wedding ourselves...I would never expect my parents to pay for another wedding and actually told them that when we announced our engagement to them just in case there was any doubt on their part that my expectations would be different.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I agree with previous posters that is up to individual families to offer financial support if they choose to(parents) and accept graciously if it is offered (couple). That being said, I would personally think poorly of a woman who allowed her parents to foot the bill for a second wedding, even if her parents wanted to pay and she had no expectations of them paying. That's just my own thoughts though; I wouldn't say that it is a rule for everyone.

 

[afreebird]

My dad paid for my second wedding, but probably only because I eloped to Vegas the first time. This time, my dad was so happy to be able to walk me down the aisle. I certainly didn't expect him to pay, though. We were planning to do everything ourselves, and my dad caught wind of it and was actually hurt by the idea of not paying. He's pretty old-school, though. I'm sure that if he had paid for a big wedding the first time, I would have been on my own this go-round. I think he actually enjoyed grumbling about the cost of everything, especially my wedding shoes!

 

[isaku5]

Agreed. If you're old enough to get married, divorced & married, you're old enough to pay for your own wedding.

--- Laurie

Oh so true!! The first wedding and the first post secondary degree are our responsility, IMHO.

 

[kittybean]

the Bride's parent paid for their daughter's first wedding but her marriage didn't work out,then down the road she remarries another guy. does the bride's parent again? what's the basic American rule?..

Of course the bride's parents pay again! In America, parents pay for everything! Young people (girls especially!) are totally irresponsible! They get an allowance 'til they're 40! Get ready to spend your retirement fund on those daughters of yours, DF .

 

[honey22]

I believe the couple should pay for the wedding regardless of whether it's the first or second. I am amazed that some people still expect their parents to pay for their 'special day'. If you want something, then you have to pay for it.

 

[Amys Bling]

most families these days- grooms parents or brides- give what they can afford towards a wedding and the couple are expected to cover the rest of their wedding- first time around. At least that is how it is for all of my friends getting married now.

2nd time around- you are I am assuming out living on your own- you have been married divorced and going to get married again,,, so I thin you are prob old enough to support your wedding. If your wants exceed your means, then that is yuor issue.

 

[Kaleigh]

2nd time around the couple pays.. Why do you ask?? You worried??

 

[Natylad]

I believe the couple should pay for the wedding regardless of whether it's the first or second. I am amazed that some people still expect their parents to pay for their 'special day'. If you want something, then you have to pay for it.

He,he,he! Yes, unless the parents insist on you inviting to your wedding their entire family, which consists of 100 people and thus you are obliged to organize a totally different wedding than the one you had in mind, which blows up the cost and puts you in a difficult position! Because i've seen many friends and relatives wanting a very small, private, romantic, 50 guests max wedding and finally they end up with 200-300 people because the families made them invite them....who pays for THAT???

 

[purselover]

I believe the couple should pay for the wedding regardless of whether it's the first or second. I am amazed that some people still expect their parents to pay for their 'special day'. If you want something, then you have to pay for it.

He,he,he! Yes, unless the parents insist on you inviting to your wedding their entire family, which consists of 100 people and thus you are obliged to organize a totally different wedding than the one you had in mind, which blows up the cost and puts you in a difficult position! Because i've seen many friends and relatives wanting a very small, private, romantic, 50 guests max wedding and finally they end up with 200-300 people because the families made them invite them....who pays for THAT???

Ohh been there done that, only in my case my inlaws drove up the guest list, while my parents footed the bill

To answer DF's question I don't think there's a hard and fast rule anymore about who pays for the wedding whether it's the first or the fifth. My parents paid for my first wedding but if I ever have a second I doubt I would let them pay again (although I doubt they'd offer!) If it were my child I would definitely pay for the wedding the first time around, but honestly I think whether or not I paid for the second wedding would depend on circumstances such as age, why the first marriage didn't work out, etc. I'd feel a lot differently about paying if my daughter were a young widow getting remarried than if she was 50 and had cheated on her first spouse.

 

[Dancing Fire]

2nd time around the couple pays.. Why do you ask?? You worried??

no, just wondering...