Wedding Plans

[Autumnovember]

So even though us LIW's are not engaged yet, do you have any *set* plans for your future wedding? If so, what are they?

Me an SO talk about wedding's all the time.

-We've "decided" on the type of flower
-Rough sketch of guest list (no more then 50 people)
-Location of ceremony and reception
-Bridal party (only four people)


Since you all already know how *untraditional* we are...the same is going to go for our wedding. It's going to be different then the traditional style wedding but I love it!

We want to get married in downtown Philadelphia at a park. Below is a picture of the park.

After this, we are going to take our immediate families and bridal party on a horse and carriage ride around Philadelphia (or something to this variation)

After that we are going to have a "celebration" dinner at a a beautiful restaurant in downtown Philadelphia as well which is owned by Steven Starr. Small pic below...just a section of the restaurant)

Then, the younger crowd (about 15 of us) will take a limo to a nice lounge in downtown Philadelphia and get a VIP section. We're going to get about 4 rooms in a hotel close by where we'll all (younger crowd)spend the night. Breakfast to follow the next morning.

This is all just our "ideas". We can't picture renting out a hall, and going through the regular planning process of a traditional wedding...so this is what we thought of.

So far, my mom hates it. She thinks that the older crowd needs to be more involved and that dancing is completely necessary. Sister feels ok about it but also think the older guests need to be more involved. My friends? They love it. So somewhere in there...we'll have to alter.

I like that it will basically only take about one weekend to take car of all the reservations for this.

Believe it or not...me and SO counted out how much it would cost (we don't want to spend too much money on a wedding) and we counted that the cost of it all would be around 10,000. I don't want to go higher then that..


Thought/Opinions/You own stories...please!



WELL! Look what I accomplished--staying busy for a whole 15 minutes and not thinking about the E-ring thats sitting in the safe downstairs

 

[Autumnovember]

Restaurant:

http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/19/ac/66/main-restaurant.jpg

Lounge:

http://foobooz.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/glounge_wall.JPG

Park:

http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/pennsylvania/images/s/rittenhouse-square.jpg


Sorry, couldn''t attach! It said the files were too large

 

[RaiKai]

I am already married (and we did not plan before we got engaged as the engagement was rather spontaneous in itself and neither of us are really big wedding people overall), but you definitely don't need dancing to have a wedding and so on.

DH and I were married at a Canadian resort. We both have very large families and so on but only had 16 guests (no bridal party). We had a very non-traditional ceremony (think a belly dancer, didgideroos, and Dr. Seuss as a start - a rather hippie vibe). We followed with a dinner in the resort's dining room a la carte (it was very nice and yummy). No cake or planned menu or anything like that. After that, people did as they pleased - went to the hot tub, went to their rooms, hung out for more drinks, and so on. All our guests also had rooms at the resort for the weekend. The next morning people who wanted met us for brunch in the dining room again.

It was lovely, and everyone had a great weekend. Even the dedicated dancing crowd (i.e. my mum and stepfather). And planning was easy....we had a 2-month long engagement and the planning part only took a week or two.

Ours was under $10,000 including our flights, accommodations, rings, attire and so on. It would have been 1/2 that but our "favours" to our guests were credits for the spa and dining room at the resort to use over the weekend as they were also all out-of-towners.

We would not change a thing about what we did. It was very, very "us".

I do not think it is unusual at all not to rent a hall. Many I know choose not to. Renting halls is certainly a more "modern" thing to do so it is not even that traditional, really.

I probably would not "exclude" the older crowd from going to the VIP section though if they wanted to come - I'd open the invite up to them if they wanted it, but it's up to you. Most likely would not come. If you are going to do it the way you suggested I would not make it "part of the wedding" - just have it be something between you and those people.

If you are paying for it yourselves, I fully encourage you to have the wedding that *you* want and not worry too much about what others think it "should" be like.

 

[kagordo4]

We''re getting married at the aquarium, because he''s obsessed with sea turtles and penguins. Um my brides maids are wearing black dresses. And even though he has 84 (this count is old, I think it''s count up) first cousins, we''re only have 125 people at our wedding.

It sounds like not a lot but the aquarium has catering and a recption location along with DJ''s and other essentials so that''s not an issue.

Oh and the other thing is that we''re having a wedding planner (super super super must for me!!) I''m a full time biology major working my tush off to get into a good medschool. SO is a fulltime photographer for HSN and takes ~14 credit hours a semester at McDill Airforce base (he''s retired military).

So yes we''ve planned a little. The aquarium thing just sort of fell into our laps the other day, and it alliviated a lot of other choices. Plus they have the most amazing 4 star chef. <3

So basically here''s the thing: your wedding is about the two of you. If you want to do it that way, then do it. If your parents would like it different, are they willing to help pay for it? If not, well that speaks for it self, right? That sounds bad I know, but my mom and I just had this talk. My SO is paying for the wedding himself, so it''s all about us.

 

[kagordo4]

I''m soooo glad to know that someone else talks about their wedding all the time with their FF, it makes me feel a tiny bit less crazy.

My goodness I think I''m obsessing a tiny bit. It doesn''t help that a lot of my friends (bestfriend most especially) is single, so she is totally unable to relate. boo.

And I think your idea sounds beautiful and wonderful and so very personal.

 

[Autumnovember]

I didn't even think about it...but I can have all the out of town guests put up in a room at the hotel as well so they can attend brunch the next day so they don't feel left out. We're going to this other Steven Starr restaurant for brunch. Granted, it will cost more to do that but that way everyone will feel satisfied (I think). OR I could have brunch at the place that my mom wanted us to have the wedding at originally. That seems fair..

Thanks for the great suggestions ladies! RaiKai--I tried explaining to my mom that weddings don't HAVE to have "dancing" involved. She thinks that because my close family members will bring a lot of money then I should be making sure to reciprocate. I'm not sure how I'm not? This restaurant isn't "cheap" by any means. A typical entree is around 35 bucks...that is not including alcohol, appetizers, dessert. The manager said the cost per person varies and can be up to 80 a person plus another 30 for alcohol. So about 110 a person. 4 star restaurant. She says my grandma/aunt/uncle are going to bring about 500 for the 3 of them. She thinks that after dinner they're going to be like..."ok so what about the rest of the wedding? (dancing) and feel jipped" To me, it's like look...I'm not asking for specific amount of money in gifts from guests. I think guests should give what they feel is appropriate. I told her we can clearly state on the invite that it is a "celebration dinner" so nobody is confused.

I remember how insanely stressed she was at my sister's wedding. It was awful. I remember thinking how I never want to see her like that again. So I thought that she would love this stress free idea. NOPE. She wants me to have the traditional "russian" wedding. Usually my mom is very laid back so I'm pretty surprised.

Your wedding at the aquarium sounds AWESOME. My SO is actually obsessed with marine life and would probably love to have a wedding at the aquarium. I'm sure it'll be beautiful. Sound awesome.

I tried to explain to my mom and sister (dad really doesn't care about this stuff) that when it comes down to it, this is about me and SO. We'll be paying for it by ourselves.

 

[kagordo4]

Well no matter what you do, just make sure you''ll be happy. I think that sounds like so much fun. You want a wedding you''ll remember for all the right reasons.

Can you stand it? In a short period of time we''ll be like offically planning weddings. ekk!

 

[Autumnovember]

Kagordo, no...I totally can't stand it hahahahahha.


We were at a beautiful park the other day by my house..and I was like "oh! We can take engagement pictures here"


Last weekend we walked by a flower shop that had all these orchids in the window. I stopped and said, "Look how simple these centerpieces are...they would be perfect." He agreed

Then, that same day he saw a really awesome Limo bus and said to himself "Secrets Limousine service...gotta remember that"

hahahahhahahahaha. I'm rubbing off on him!

Attached is a picture I took at the park we were at with a bunch of gorgeous cathedrals everywhere and crazy beautiful views.

 

[4ever]

Well, BF has had the ring for SO FRIGGIN LONG that my mind has long ago prematurly wondered over to wedding planning.

I'm not interested in renting a hall or a big fluffy dress I can't go to the bathroom in without help or a sit down dinner with little name tags and macthing tablecloths and center pices. It's dosn't scream "fun" to me it just naggs cookie cutter. It's just not us.

So far BF and I have decided to do a early evening cocktail party with lots of yummy nibbles...that we just happen to get married at. The venue we are thinking of is a 100 year old brick ex industral building which is now a bar and reastrant with a nice out door balcony area. I'm going to look for (or have made) a ivory/metalic coloured cocktail dress which I will Jazz up with a cool birdcage veil so I kinda look like a bride and BF will use it as an excuse to get a snazzy new suite. Minimal flowers (just for myself and my 1 bridesmaid) but lots of candles (the venue already has alot of them to start with). I love cake so I'm not missing THAT out but it will be on the small, simple and elegant side. I'm not keen on many of the wedding "traditions" so it will be alot more casual and relax, there will be seating but people can walk around and mingle and help themselfs to finger food and drinks or have a dance. Guest list will be between 25 and 50 people. Budget somewhere between $5-10k NZD.

 

[Autumnovember]

Sound awesome 4ever.


I feel much better knowing that other people are having similar weddings. They just seem much more fun in my opinion...


I hate the whole "garter" thing, and most of the other typical traditions cookie cutter weddings have. I just can''t picture myself and SO having that kind of thing.

Hell, I don''t even picture him getting down on one knee while proposing...its so not him...or us. I think I''d laugh a little. He told me already he''s not doing that so I''m glad I''m on the same page as him.

P.s. I agree, my SO has had the ring forever too so naturally my mind has wandered

 

[vc10um]

BF and I have picked out our date, ceremony and reception venues, a tentative menu, photographer, flowers, colors, approximate guest list, processional and recessional, that we want cupcakes instead of a cake...

Yeah, we''re pretty ready to get married!

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 6/9/2010 7:11:20 PM
Author: Autumnovember
Sound awesome 4ever.





I feel much better knowing that other people are having similar weddings. They just seem much more fun in my opinion...





I hate the whole ''garter'' thing, and most of the other typical traditions cookie cutter weddings have. I just can''t picture myself and SO having that kind of thing.



Hell, I don''t even picture him getting down on one knee while proposing...its so not him...or us. I think I''d laugh a little. He told me already he''s not doing that so I''m glad I''m on the same page as him.



P.s. I agree, my SO has had the ring forever too so naturally my mind has wandered

Yeah, I do not think you need to worry. Most of my peers have done things differently. Indeed, the new tradition is to be untraditional - ha! Some still do the cookie cutter thing (and some expect it!) but it is not standard!

I never liked the garter thing either or anything that seems to indicate the couple are naïve and blushing youngsters leaving the parental nest - ha - so NOT our situation. We did not do prewedding parties and so on, there was no aisle, we came together and so on. I fully support others who want that sort of thing doing it, it just was not us.

My proposal came via a text message and without a ring but it was in some extenuating circumstances (and I would not change our proposal for anything - it was perfect!). I look forward to hearing about yours!

 

[HappyNewLife]

nope, none. i have had a wedding before that i obsessed over. this time i am in no rush to plan til i''m engaged

 

[merilenda]

We''ve started talking about wedding plans very broadly, though we are really close to engagement now (he''s getting the ring tomorrow!). We didn''t really until recently though. I know that I want us to get married in the summer (summer 2011 probably) because both of our birthdays are within a month of Christmas and we have so much stuff clustered around that time of year. I want to get married on the opposite side of the year!

Other than that, we just know that we want a small ceremony that is as stress-free as possible and not too expensive. I kind of want to do a destination-type wedding, but I don''t know if that will pan out or not. We pretty much have no idea where, but I''m figuring that we''ll have about one year to get everything worked out. Considering that we want something small and aren''t picky about particular venues, I think it should be plenty of time.

It''s definitely exciting to start getting to the planning process though.

 

[kagordo4]

I love love love this park, Autumnovember. I wish we had places like that in Florida. It''s just all pretty much flat, dead, and full of fire ants.

I''m so excited to see pictures when you do get married, it sounds so nice.

Because my FF is Hispanic tradition is sort of important to him (or that''s what he tells me). But I will get my way on somethings (like not getting married in the church, no thank you, it''s just not me) etc etc.

 

[Autumnovember]

Kagordo---Its GORGEOUS at that park. Thats just a small section of it. We walked around the whole thing one day which took us about 4 hours. There''s another cathedral past the one in the picture and then a Mansion to the right of it where a lot of wedding''s are held. My SO''s brother is from north jersey like SO and when his fiance and I were talked about places they could get married...I suggested this place. So what do you know! A year later, and they are going to be getting married at that very park (at the mansion) on about a week and a half. Besides the cathedrals and the mansion that is used for weddings, there are also several other mansions that are extremely old and now used for various things. Its very very interesting.

http://www.brynathyncathedral.org/

Here is the website to the cathedrals.

The mansion on site is this:

http://www.cairnwood.org/

Its phenomenal.

 

[beezygal]

The park is nice!!!

I''m starting to look at wedding venues online. I need to be distracted so I can stop thinking about my ring. However, my bf doesn''t really wanna look into that yet. lol

 

[AnneTossy]

I''m glad I''m not alone!!

I try not to talk too much about it so my SO, considering we aren''t engaged yet...let the man worry about one thing at a time!! lol.

But, little does he know, I basically have the entire thing planned in my head I''m sure most of it will be changed a million times, especially once I get his opinion. I don''t want it to be ''my'' day like a lot of bridezillas make it out to be, but more of an ''our'' day, including family and friends.

BUT, I can''t wait

 

[TheyCall]

All you ladies have such wonderful ideas! LOVE LOVE LOVE that I am not the only person thinking about this!

I have not done any "real" planning, because that would involve the BF but he is too superstitious to plan anything before we get engaged. wouldn''t want to jinx it! LOL so I haven''t even asked him.

We talk about general things we want like outdoors vs indoors etc. I want an outdoors wedding and i have been looking into venues because I was helping a close guy friend by helping steer his bride towards an outdoor wedding and found place I want to get married at! Check out this place... its a B&B with old pine and oak, lights hung in the yard, and the BEST weather in april.

http://www.sweetwaterweddings.com/default/default.asp

so beautiful and only a few hours away from me. Closer for most of our guests (to be)!