We met over the phone...

[Shameless]

As much as I believe myself to be a free-thinker, I''m still tied down (a bit) by tradition.

I''m a woman, and met another woman over the phone about 6 years ago. After 4 years of work over the phone it progressed to personal emails, and weekly phone calls. In the past 2 years, her parents both were understandably a bit shocked by her new choice in partner. (even though I''m awesome. )

We''ve been together for almost 2 years, and in the meantime, I was hoping you guys could help me iron out the kinks to give her this ring. Her mother has known we''ve been together for full length of relationship, her father "knew" last summer; but it was confirmed to him about 4-5 months ago.

Before I propose, (keep in mind everything is long-distance=phone/email); As a woman, should I ask both parents for their blessing? (They''re separated a long time)...

I have a slight fear that her father wouldn''t approve. I want FF to be happy, not nervous to tell her parents... and part of me thinks that she will be happier if she already knows she has their (especially his) blessing.

On a separate note, she''s Canadian and I''m American. Anyone know where I can find a Birks ring box, besides ebay? That would be the perfect touch...

Thank you all!!!

 

[Shameless]

Come on peeps!

I should have the ring in my hands today, AGA cut class 1a.....
It''s in a temporary setting until I can get up to Canada for the custom jeweler...

 

[Blackpaw]

Thats a tough one Shameless...sounds like her mum is on board with the relationship but the dad you''re not so sure? I just remember a horror thread about a Dad who refused permission for fairly selfish reasons. Hopefully your GFs Dad will put his daughters happiness first. Still it is better to be up-front about these things from the beginning, otherwise tensions will just arise later.

Is she a bit traditional too? Personally I wouldnt want my BF to ask my parents permission but if its something you think she''ld appreciate then for sure go for it - maybe suss it out with her mum first!!

Gee, im not much help am I?! Maybe someone else will have advice for you - i havent been engaged after all

Oh and im sorry but Im an aussie and have no idea about this Birks you speak of!

Good luck with it, cant wait to hear how it goes

 

[RedG44]

Do you know how your partner feels? I know my girlfriend is a bit turned off by the notion of asking someone else before I ask her -- the implication that it''s anyone''s decision but hers. I hear what you''re saying about paving the way, though.

Consider it this way, if you didn''t have permission, would it really be enough to derail your plans? If he would go so far as to deny the blessing, would you (or she) be any better off breaking the news after the fact? It seems like any intolerance that deep-seated would cause drama down the road no matter what, so you can go ahead ans ask as a formality, but proceed with or without a blessing.

Maybe that''s terrible advice, but at least it''s something. Good luck!

 

[OMG]

Sorry if this question was answered in your post but is this still just a phone/email relationship - or have you met this women in person?

If her father is not "ok" with her relationship chances are he wont be to keen on giving you his blessing. Is there a way you could all get together with your girlfriend and her family (for dinner or somehting)? That way you could get a feel for the father?


P.S. I love the ring
There are Birks everywhere in Canada, where about is it in Canada you are going to be?? I am not sure - but maybe they could sell you a box???