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Waterford Crystal give-away

smitcompton

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 11, 2006
Messages
2,730
Hi All,

I am trying to clean out my house as I am old and may have to go into a nursing home or may die. One niece lives in California and I e-mail her to ask if she wants a particular item. My first e-mail asked if she was interested in my two pair of diamond studs. This was at least a month ago. She did not reply. I was not bothered by this as my nieces do not think diamonds are the cats meow. (they and she was raised in England) However, this last e-mail annoys me. I asked her if she wanted my Waterford crystal, 12 all purpose glasses and 6 balloon wine glasses. Now, my feeling is that this doesn't require much thought, either yes or no. I need to make arrangements for someone to go to the post office to mail them out.

It is four days since my e-mail. What bothers me is thinking that she is shopping this out to her sisters and mother and possible friends. I know someone that I could make very happy with the crystal. It is my physio-therapist who is raising a son alone and lost her beautiful home during the financial crisis.

Now, this niece is a beneficiary in my estate. If I ask her for info, like SS#, she replies within hours. Can I rscind my offer?. She probably has her own glassware. I told her she could say no, and that would be fine.

Meanwhile my living room now has boxes all over it. Oh, I also have crystal perfume bottles that were offered.

Shpuld I be so annoyed.

Annette
 

elizat

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2013
Messages
2,857
I'm very sorry. That has to feel really hurtful as you are preparing to plan for the future.

If you would like to give them to someone that you think will enjoy them, that's your right. I would just do it and let her know by email that you have decided to give those items to another that you think will enjoy and use them.
 

ForteKitty

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 7, 2004
Messages
5,154
I would be annoyed, and I'd give them to someone else who would use them. Don't bother letting her know.

Does she usually ignore you? Do you have a good relationship with her otherwise? If she's usually dismissive or rude, I'd change the beneficiary to someone else.
 

Ionysis

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 1, 2015
Messages
716
Are you sure she received your emails? My gmail box gets flooded with junk and I often miss mails. The only way anyone can be sure I see emails is to send me them at work or else WhatsApp me.
 

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
3,886
I have a friend who wasn't replying to me, and it turned out that her email kept sending messages from various addresses to the span folder, even though the addresses are in her contacts.

I think it's worth checking that she got the message before making any decisions.
 

Bonfire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
3,636
I would be annoyed too. I find her lack of response to you rude. These things are your possessions to do with as you wish. To gift these things while you are still around is lovely.
If it were me? I would give these items to your Physio-Therapist whom you know will be grateful to receive them. Gift your belongs to whomever you like.
 

Ceilimom

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
403
Hi All,

I am trying to clean out my house as I am old and may have to go into a nursing home or may die. One niece lives in California and I e-mail her to ask if she wants a particular item. My first e-mail asked if she was interested in my two pair of diamond studs. This was at least a month ago. She did not reply. I was not bothered by this as my nieces do not think diamonds are the cats meow. (they and she was raised in England) However, this last e-mail annoys me. I asked her if she wanted my Waterford crystal, 12 all purpose glasses and 6 balloon wine glasses. Now, my feeling is that this doesn't require much thought, either yes or no. I need to make arrangements for someone to go to the post office to mail them out.

It is four days since my e-mail. What bothers me is thinking that she is shopping this out to her sisters and mother and possible friends. I know someone that I could make very happy with the crystal. It is my physio-therapist who is raising a son alone and lost her beautiful home during the financial crisis.

Now, this niece is a beneficiary in my estate. If I ask her for info, like SS#, she replies within hours. Can I rscind my offer?. She probably has her own glassware. I told her she could say no, and that would be fine.

Meanwhile my living room now has boxes all over it. Oh, I also have crystal perfume bottles that were offered.

Shpuld I be so annoyed.

Annette

Possibly it went to her spam email account.
 

smitcompton

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 11, 2006
Messages
2,730
Hi,

Newsflash---I went to my e-mail to write to my niece and tell her exactly what Blu Diva wrote.
As it happens there was an e-mail from my niece saying she would love the crystal glasses and the balloon wine glasses, but not the perfume bottles.

They have 10 acres if land and were busy planting for the season. I feel better now.

I really want to thank you for your replies. It helped a lot.

Thanks,
Annette
 

jaysonsmom

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
4,015
Hi,

Newsflash---I went to my e-mail to write to my niece and tell her exactly what Blu Diva wrote.
As it happens there was an e-mail from my niece saying she would love the crystal glasses and the balloon wine glasses, but not the perfume bottles.

They have 10 acres if land and were busy planting for the season. I feel better now.

I really want to thank you for your replies. It helped a lot.

Thanks,
Annette

I was just about to say, I would really love to receive Waterford crystal glasses, and would be honored if you adopted me as your niece!
 

Ceilimom

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
403
Hi,

Newsflash---I went to my e-mail to write to my niece and tell her exactly what Blu Diva wrote.
As it happens there was an e-mail from my niece saying she would love the crystal glasses and the balloon wine glasses, but not the perfume bottles.

They have 10 acres if land and were busy planting for the season. I feel better now.

I really want to thank you for your replies. It helped a lot.

Thanks,
Annette

Annette
That's wonderful news. She will cherish them as well as you for gifting them to her.
 

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
5,210
Excellent news.
Just be aware that some people find expressing their interest / difficulty accepting gifts when it involves someone distributing their estate while still alive.
In some ways it’s overwhelming, it’s acknowledging that someone is nearer to death than not. Also expressing a “keenness” can seem inappropriate and improper.
So it’s not necessarily a lack of interest or appreciation, it’s can be a personal and complex reaction to a unsettling offer.
My Father has been distributing pieces of his collections and I’ve found it very difficult. Not that I don’t want them but it’s like accepting that he is not much longer for this world. And that’s true and why he’s doing it but it just feels awful to me.
so its been really hard, i want to show my appreciation and delight at receiving his special treasures but inside my heart is breaking because of why he’s giving them to me.
 

jaysonsmom

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
4,015
Excellent news.
Just be aware that some people find expressing their interest / difficulty accepting gifts when it involves someone distributing their estate while still alive.
In some ways it’s overwhelming, it’s acknowledging that someone is nearer to death than not. Also expressing a “keenness” can seem inappropriate and improper.
So it’s not necessarily a lack of interest or appreciation, it’s can be a personal and complex reaction to a unsettling offer.
My Father has been distributing pieces of his collections and I’ve found it very difficult. Not that I don’t want them but it’s like accepting that he is not much longer for this world. And that’s true and why he’s doing it but it just feels awful to me.
so its been really hard, i want to show my appreciation and delight at receiving his special treasures but inside my heart is breaking because of why he’s giving them to me.

So true. My dad has started distributing his Mont Blanc collection to my brother and I. My mom is also bringing me more and more of her heirloom pieces each time she comes to the US. I did find it difficult to accept them.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
30,181
Leave everything to your favorite charity.
 
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