Walking down aisle alone

[sunnygirl]

Hi PS ladies!

Is anyone else out there considering walking down the aisle alone? This whole aisle thing has created a lot of issues for me and I think alone might be the way to go. If you have done this or are going to (or neither but you have ideas), how does it work in terms of logistics for what happens before that, etc or when I get to the altar? In terms of my fam, my mom is single, my dad is remarried and i have a brother who could potentially walk my mom down aisle.

Ugh...hate family drama!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I am not sure about logistics. But I have seen this done before, in that case the bride''s father was deceased so she walked alone in his memory. Anyway, if you feel comfortable with it I think it is fine. Hopefully someone will chime in with logistical advice!

 

[ljsmith001]

Why not just let your dad walk you down? I feel like walking down alone could make you feel awkward. I would be super nervous to walk down alone. If you and your dad are not super close and that is the reason I guess that makes sense. What about a brother, or a grandfather? Or you just really want to walk down alone??

 

[calidaisy]

i've been to a wedding where the bride and groom walked in together.
i don't know why the bride's father wasn't there but her mom and siblings were there and the bride and groom walked in side-by-side.
it didn't look weird but super modern--21th century wedding.

i think walking down the aisle by yourself will be fine as long as you're fine with it.

 

[Fancy605]

I say go for it if it''s what you want. I''m sure some people would find it odd, but that can be said of nearly anything these days. I think it would be pretty cool. I feel like I saw it in a movie once, but I can''t recall which one.

 

[Haven]

Hey Sunny!

I just wanted to add that if you think you might be at all nervous on your wedding day, it might be really difficult to walk down alone. I''m normally cool as a cucumber, and I REALLY love being the center of attention, so I didn''t think it would be an issue for me, but I was really glad that I had my father to hold on to as I walked down that long aisle.

My mom walked down ahead of us, waited near the end of the aisle, and then linked arms with me when we reached her. I needed the support, I was weak in the knees and already crying by the time I met my husband up there!

Just something to consider. (You might also be able to do what I did--have mom walk down alone, wait near the end, and then link arms with you when you reach her. You would be in the middle of your parents, so it''s not like they would have to link arms or anything.)

 

[miraclesrule]

Sunny,

I think Haven has a good solution to the family drama. I like it because it includes both parents, which may be important if both will be present at the wedding. Unless you really feel like you don''t want to walk with your father, then you will have to navigate the family dynamics and heed your own counsel.

Both me and my StepDad are walking my daughter down the aisle Friday. So, it''s true that in this time, it''s whatever YOU feel the most comfortable with. Personally, I don''t know too many brides that can make it down the aisle without someone to lean on, but those who can, well they just rock too!

 

[WishfulThinking]

If walking down the aisle alone is what works best for you in your situation, I''d say go for it. Go into it knowing that perhaps some people will disapprove [which I think is exceptionally silly], and that it may be nerve wracking the day of. That said, you need to do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Perhaps you could walk down the aisle holding hands with your FI? I know that is even less traditional, but it has lovely symbolism, I think. Although I am biased because that is what we are doing!

 

[blondebunny]

When I get married I plan to walk down the aisle alone. Although I know my mother would want to walk me down, she has a hard time walking (like 5 back surgies) and dont want that stress...and my father is not close to me at all, so no reason why I would ever have him walk me down, and I would have my stepdad, but I think my dads side of the family would pass out. Plus, I like the idea of just me walking down the aisle to my future hubby... I see nothing wrong with it I say go for it!!

 

[CJ2008]

I walked alone!

My mom and dad walked together right before me...and my sister and best man before them.

I didn''t feel nervous at all...even going down the stairs...I really wanted to be alone with my thoughts so it worked for me.

 

[Courtneylub]

I am walking alone!!!!

My first wedding was a disaster with my dad and step dad...who HATE each other. It worked out in the end, but this time...it''s just me and I don''t need anyone to give me away.

 

[Cleopatra]

You could always walk in alone half-way and have your groom come down the aisle and meet you and walk the rest of the way together....I think that would be sweet - and also very symbolic

 

[redfaerythinker]

Date: 7/22/2008 8:28:09 AM
Author: Cleopatra
You could always walk in alone half-way and have your groom come down the aisle and meet you and walk the rest of the way together....I think that would be sweet - and also very symbolic

I had thought about doing that (my father is deceased). However, then I got to thinking about how it would look to the guests and now i''m not sure. I mean how would it look if I go half way down the aisle and stopped and he "had to come get me". Wouldn''t that look sort of runaway bride-ish?

Anywho, I have since decided to walk my happy self down the aisle. I''m going to have a large yellow zinnia (for remembrance) in the top of my bouquet and at the end of the aisle I will remove it and place it on the chair that my father would have sat in.

Just my .02

 

[Cleopatra]

Date: 7/22/2008 10:20:06 AM
Author: redfaerythinker

Date: 7/22/2008 8:28:09 AM

Author: Cleopatra

You could always walk in alone half-way and have your groom come down the aisle and meet you and walk the rest of the way together....I think that would be sweet - and also very symbolic

I had thought about doing that (my father is deceased). However, then I got to thinking about how it would look to the guests and now i''m not sure. I mean how would it look if I go half way down the aisle and stopped and he ''had to come get me''. Wouldn''t that look sort of runaway bride-ish?


Anywho, I have since decided to walk my happy self down the aisle. I''m going to have a large yellow zinnia (for remembrance) in the top of my bouquet and at the end of the aisle I will remove it and place it on the chair that my father would have sat in.


Just my .02

I don''t think you''d have to stop - why not, when you start walking down the aisle, your groom starts also - meet in the middle and continue your journey into your new lives together

I think any way one choses to walk down the aisle is fine - alone, with father, with both parents, with groom - it''s all up to you however you chose...and anyone who thinks it''s weird, who cares!

 

[jcrow]

i came really close to walking alone, but in the end my grandfather walked with me. in a way, thank goodness he did because i was a nervous wreck. and i would have NEVER expected to be such a wreck - tears, freaking out, the works. not in a bad, way... definitely good. it''s just when that music started to play and everyone had already walked (so it was just me, and my grandfather) oh boy! it''s SO overwhelming.

however, had i done the walk alone, i would have had hubs meet me half way so that he and i could have walked together part of the way. it symbolizes us uniting.

 

[loverocks]

I am so glad you posted this! I was just trying to decide on this myself. Sob story is that my parents have made some life choices that I not in support of, and as a result they are not actively a part of my life right now and will probably not be at the wedding at all. This is already terribly uncomfortable for me, so I am really torn. Of course, I could have an uncle or my younger brother walk me, but the more I thought about it the more I felt like if it wasn''t going to be one or both parents, then it didn''t really *mean* as much to me. So, now I think I will walk myself. I also like what that symbolizes. I don''t need anyone to "give" me away....I am a perfectly independant adult woman who is freely giving herself to the man she loves to make a union....
BUT - I do worry that it might be overwhelming on the day of....It is a long aisle afterall and everyone is looking right at you. Also, I get nervous about the moment standing there right before the doors open....
Aagghhh -- I am not sure...this is causing me so much stress.....
I do love to hear how others handled it

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with walking alone if you think you will be fine. Walking down the aisle is an emotional time because you're feeling so much at once, so I can understand wanting somebody there.

I did go to one wedding where the bride and groom walked down together, symbolizing that they had been by each other's side since the beginning of their relationship, that they would stand by each other's side on their wedding day and every day to come. Everybody cried, it was very emotional and genuinely sweet. It was my favorite processional.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 7/22/2008 10:52:34 AM
Author: loverocks
I am so glad you posted this! I was just trying to decide on this myself. Sob story is that my parents have made some life choices that I not in support of, and as a result they are not actively a part of my life right now and will probably not be at the wedding at all. This is already terribly uncomfortable for me, so I am really torn. Of course, I could have an uncle or my younger brother walk me, but the more I thought about it the more I felt like if it wasn''t going to be one or both parents, then it didn''t really *mean* as much to me. So, now I think I will walk myself. I also like what that symbolizes. I don''t need anyone to ''give'' me away....I am a perfectly independant adult woman who is freely giving herself to the man she loves to make a union....

BUT - I do worry that it might be overwhelming on the day of....It is a long aisle afterall and everyone is looking right at you. Also, I get nervous about the moment standing there right before the doors open....

Aagghhh -- I am not sure...this is causing me so much stress.....

I do love to hear how others handled it

if you already think you are going to be nervous and overwhelmed, you may really want to rethink your alone-walking decision. i really really didn''t expect to be nervous at all. we had planned it for a year, i thought i had already gone through all the emotions and all that was left would be joy. oh it was joy all right, but the uncontrollable sobbing, can''t breath kind. and then i panicked thinking i didn''t want everyone to see me like that once the doors opened. i''m getting all tense just thinking about it. looking back, i''m not sure i would have made it alone.

 

[appletini]

we had a part in our ceremony where the minister asked both families to stand up and had them give us away to each other...something to consider.

 

[loverocks]

Date: 7/22/2008 11:01:45 AM
Author: jcrow


if you already think you are going to be nervous and overwhelmed, you may really want to rethink your alone-walking decision. i really really didn''t expect to be nervous at all. we had planned it for a year, i thought i had already gone through all the emotions and all that was left would be joy. oh it was joy all right, but the uncontrollable sobbing, can''t breath kind. and then i panicked thinking i didn''t want everyone to see me like that once the doors opened. i''m getting all tense just thinking about it. looking back, i''m not sure i would have made it alone.

Jcrow - i appreciate your insight....it is interesting that you didn''t think you would be a bit of a mess but suprised yourself. That is kinda what I am afraid of. I really am not an emotional person at all, and really don''t cry easily...but then again I have never gotten married So, I am afraid I might suprise myself. I anticipate that I will be nervous, but I can get through that. I just am afraid I will suprise myself and suddenly become a ball of tears.
Oy....not sure what to do in my situation though. I don''t know if I want to walk down with FI, so that kinda just leaves me to go it alone

 

[repartee]

I always planned on walking down the aisle alone and I did! No family drama or anything - just that I think it represented me coming to my husband as my own woman rather than being "given away". Let''s just say no one in my family was really surprised. *grin* I think my parents actually get kind of a kick out of it.

Everyone else who was part of the procession just paired up in a way that made sense. My aunt (who''s husband didn''t come) and baby brother. My sister and other brother. My mom and dad together. My husband''s mom was escorted by her daughter and son-in-law (as his father was not at the wedding), etc.

I think you just need to think about what you need at that moment and make sure whatever you choose works for you!

Grace
Married June 9, 2007

 

[Courtneylub]

Oh wow I didn''t think about my emotions. I won''t have anyone to hold on to!

 

[pjean]

Date: 7/22/2008 10:52:34 AM
Author: loverocks
So, now I think I will walk myself. I also like what that symbolizes. I don''t need anyone to ''give'' me away....I am a perfectly independant adult woman who is freely giving herself to the man she loves to make a union....

My thoughts exactly!

Date: 7/22/2008 10:52:34 AM
Author: loverocks
BUT - I do worry that it might be overwhelming on the day of....It is a long aisle afterall and everyone is looking right at you. Also, I get nervous about the moment standing there right before the doors open....

Aagghhh -- I am not sure...this is causing me so much stress.....

Why not ask a friend to wait with you? Especially if you aren''t having a huge wedding party, and there''s someone you''d like to include. Ask her to wait with you, have tissues if needed, and then send you off down the aisle with a big hug and/or thumbs up. Then she (or he) can slip into the seats when you''ve made your way down the aisle. Personally, I would be honoured if a friend trusted me to do that.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 7/22/2008 3:18:50 PM
Author: pjean

Date: 7/22/2008 10:52:34 AM

Author: loverocks

So, now I think I will walk myself. I also like what that symbolizes. I don''t need anyone to ''give'' me away....I am a perfectly independant adult woman who is freely giving herself to the man she loves to make a union....

My thoughts exactly!

Date: 7/22/2008 10:52:34 AM

Author: loverocks

BUT - I do worry that it might be overwhelming on the day of....It is a long aisle afterall and everyone is looking right at you. Also, I get nervous about the moment standing there right before the doors open....


Aagghhh -- I am not sure...this is causing me so much stress.....

Why not ask a friend to wait with you? Especially if you aren''t having a huge wedding party, and there''s someone you''d like to include. Ask her to wait with you, have tissues if needed, and then send you off down the aisle with a big hug and/or thumbs up. Then she (or he) can slip into the seats when you''ve made your way down the aisle. Personally, I would be honoured if a friend trusted me to do that.

you know, this is a great idea. i don''t know who i would have asked - bm''s were in it, family members were too... but it would have alleviated a lot of the anxiety.

 

[loverocks]

Date: 7/22/2008 3:18:50 PM
Author: pjean

Date: 7/22/2008 10:52:34 AM
Author: loverocks
So, now I think I will walk myself. I also like what that symbolizes. I don''t need anyone to ''give'' me away....I am a perfectly independant adult woman who is freely giving herself to the man she loves to make a union....

My thoughts exactly!

Date: 7/22/2008 10:52:34 AM
Author: loverocks
BUT - I do worry that it might be overwhelming on the day of....It is a long aisle afterall and everyone is looking right at you. Also, I get nervous about the moment standing there right before the doors open....

Aagghhh -- I am not sure...this is causing me so much stress.....

Why not ask a friend to wait with you? Especially if you aren''t having a huge wedding party, and there''s someone you''d like to include. Ask her to wait with you, have tissues if needed, and then send you off down the aisle with a big hug and/or thumbs up. Then she (or he) can slip into the seats when you''ve made your way down the aisle. Personally, I would be honoured if a friend trusted me to do that.

I love this...

Didn''t even think of that. Yes, it would be a good idea......a little extra support from a beloved friend right before the "big walk"...

 

[[email protected]]

I walked alone...ironically my song was "you will never walk alone".
It was fine, I enjoyed the moment, hubby was there waiting for me.
It sort of tells the story of an individual finding the right place.

 

[marchswallowbird]

Walk alone if that is what you really want to do. Don''t worry about all the "what ifs"...what if you''re nervous, how will you feel, what will people think, etc. Trying to figure out what "should" do based on information you can only guess at is just a recipe for added stress. Don''t do that to yourself.

I am walking alone, or maybe with my future husband.

 

[sunnygirl]

Thanks for all the input ladies! You brought up a lot of good points...I still haven''t decided what to do. It is a little complicated - I originally wanted to have both my parents walk with me because I am really close with my mom and wanted to honor her (and not as close with my dad.) I thought it would be no big deal - I know a lot of people do this these days. Well when i casually mentioned it to my dad, he flipped out. Keep in mind, my parents aren''t even American and I''m pretty sure the father walking the daughter down the aisle thing isn''t a tradition from where they are from so I don''t know why it was such a big deal! We ended up getting in a big fight with him screaming at me and all this lame drama. Now I am just sort of fed up with the whole thing and the last thing i want to be thinking about while I walk down the aisle is what is going on with my parents (who are divorced and not on super friendly terms) and I want it to be more about me and my FI. But at the same time, I really want my mom to be involved but I can''t just have it be her.

Argh...I will have to think about it more. Plus, the aisle is pretty small! We will be smooshed!

 

[iheartscience]

My sister in law walked down the aisle by herself and I honestly didn''t think anything of it! I didn''t even notice it for some reason. It seemed totally normal, and it''s actually the only wedding I''ve ever been to when the bride didn''t have her father walk her down the aisle. She just walked by herself after the bridesmaids. I say do whatever you think works for you!

 

[kittybean]

In my culture, it is tradition for the bride and groom to walk in together, to symbolize beginning their marriage on equal footing. I love the cultural significance, but I love the symbolism even more. My parents walked in together, and FH and I will do the same.

I think you can walk alone if you would like. I have seen this in a few weddings, and no one thought it was weird. The bride''s parents walked in before her, and there was no "giving away." I like how walking alone symbolizes your independence and own free will to enter the union with your FH. I love the idea of having a friend wait with you to calm your nerves, and I agree with the poster that commented what an incredible honor it would be to be that friend.