Venue Let Down

[mynewobsession]

Hi Everyone,

Although I feel slightly presumptuous posting in the BWW forum (technically I''m still a LIW but my ring has been purchased and will hopefully be on my hand within the next month or two!) I figured this is the best forum for my question.

My SO and I have kind of an interesting relationship history and though I won''t go into all the details here, basically the short story is this: we met online and after 2 years of talking over the internet and over the phone we decided to meet in person. I was a senior in high school at the time and my prom was coming up. My (semi crazy?) best friend convinced us both that it was the perfect time for us to meet. So, even though he lived several states away, we made plans for him to take me to my prom. Unfortunately due to horrible traffic and a couple other things, he ended up arriving EXTREMELY late and after I spent the majority of the evening with my girlfriends, he finally showed up about 20 minutes before the end of the evening and we were able to get in about 2 dances before it was over. We''re still together 7 years later and it was a wonderful story to tell everyone of how we first met but we always felt like we missed out on our special night together.

So, fast forward to today and we have been thinking about holding our wedding at the same venue where my prom was held for sentimental reasons. I emailed them, we began talking about date possibilities and costs, and for a while I was really excited because it was looking like everything would work out perfectly! Well, I just realized that there was a huge miscommunication in terms of our budget. I had mentioned a budget of $10,000 for the ENTIRE wedding (we are in our mid 20s and paying for 1/2 the wedding so we don''t have a very large budget at all!) and it looks like they''ve taken that to mean that we can spend that amount on the reception alone. In my last email correspondence, they mentioned they have a "10K minimum expenditure" for our Saturday evening date in February (in Michigan, btw). I find this to be quite high, especially given the time of year. On their website, they claim they can do events from 70-700 people. How in the world could a 70 person party spend 10K in one night?

Do you think they said this because I had mentioned my "budget" of $10,000? Or do you think we are out of our league and should be looking elsewhere? I''m not exactly sure how to proceed from here and how I can explain the situation without embarrassing myself.

I''m so disappointed.

(Sorry for the long post... I didn''t mean to ramble on as much as I did!) Thanks so much for any advice.

 

[vintagelover229]

What a cute story! I would call them/email them and explain that you really want the veune, but due to the ENTIRE budget of 10K for the entire wedding, that it isn''t within your budget to spend 10K on the reception alone. Ask them if they have other options that may be more budget friendly (that way they realize they misinterputed it).

Good luck! Congrats on the pending engagment!

PS. Was it love at first site? Did you have the "akaward" feeling of...I know you...but, you know what I''m talking about. The expectations of finally meeting? I met quite a few interenet guys over the years. One of them is a really good friend stilll...but every time I got that "weird" I know you but...i don''t know you feeling, lol. Sorry for the thread jack!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I think the best way would be to send them an email explaining that you have 10,000 to spend on the entire day and that there was a mis communication and then politely ask if they would consider doing the reception for a lower price. It''s really the only way you are going to find out if you can do it for less. It''s either that or cough up the dough to rent it at that price or find another place that is less expensive. Sometimes being a bride means you have to be a little extra assertive Good luck

 

[lesco]

Date: 12/8/2008 10:31:38 PM
Author:mynewobsession
Hi Everyone,

How in the world could a 70 person party spend 10K in one night?

Do you think they said this because I had mentioned my ''budget'' of $10,000? Or do you think we are out of our league and should be looking elsewhere? I''m not exactly sure how to proceed from here and how I can explain the situation without embarrassing myself.

Move to NYC where I live and you will be blowing $10K on a 50 people party!!! Not funny!!!

You know I can relate to your suspicions here especially because most venues I have contacted keep on asking what my budget is... To that I simply answer, well why don''t you tell me how much is your start up price? I feel that they are just trying to trick me!!! Mental I am.

In your case, I would contact the venue and explain the miscommunication in terms of budget. Simply ask them if there is any room for negotiation regarding the 10K minimum. I bet ya they will work with you!

 

[neatfreak]

I can''t imagine that they could have a $10k minimum at a place where your school was able to afford to hold your prom...something does sound odd. Could you have a friend call and ask them if they have minimum expenditures for certain dates, i.e., a saturday night the week before or after your wedding? That might give you a good indication on whether they are messing with you or if that is really the story.

 

[mynewobsession]

Thanks, ladies. At first I was feeling pretty silly about "leading them on" when we have such a limited budget but you''ve made me feel better about going back to them to explain. In this economy, hopefully they''ll be more than willing to work with us, even if we can only cough up $4,000 instead!

Lesco - I don''t doubt that 50 people could rack up a 10K bill in NYC! I guess when I said that I meant within our social circle, where we live. It would be a pretty extravagant party and I wouldn''t be able to afford it for sure!

Red Rose - Yes, it was definitely love at first sight. I told my mom and my best friend that I knew we would last because when we met I didn''t feel the slightest bit nervous! (which is NOT usual for me!) We felt very comfortable with each other and pretty much talked the entire night at the after party. Although it may have been a crazy idea at the time, we didn''t regret it for a second!

 

[mynewobsession]

Date: 12/8/2008 11:16:04 PM
Author: neatfreak
I can''t imagine that they could have a $10k minimum at a place where your school was able to afford to hold your prom...something does sound odd. Could you have a friend call and ask them if they have minimum expenditures for certain dates, i.e., a saturday night the week before or after your wedding? That might give you a good indication on whether they are messing with you or if that is really the story.

I thought about that too. I may give that a try! Thanks!

 

[lesco]

I hear you, we cannot afford such a party either. That is just too much money.

These are just the crazy prices we are being quoted here in NYC. We are in full search mode for a venue without much luck, if I might add. FI and I wonder how people do it!

I don't think you are leading anyone on. As I said, I would give them a call to see if they are willing to work with you.

 

[katamari]

Don''t feel bad or embarrassed that you can''t afford it. That is an outlandish price, and they are not embarrassed, nor do they feel bad, for charging you that much.

I agree with everyone who has said you should contact them in order to clarify and ask about other options. Also, you should ask what all that $10K buys. If it includes bar, food, cake, linen, etc. then it may be more reasonable than you think. My guess is that for that quote in MI, they are charging you for far more than just the space.

 

[mynewobsession]

I emailed them tonight to explain... keeping my fingers crossed! My mom also offered to go there and meet with them to discuss details in person (if need be) since I live a couple of hours away and can''t make it home very often. Let''s hope they are able to come up with a way to accommodate us! If not, we may be looking elsewhere...

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I am sorry that you''re running into venue troubles.

$10k alone isn''t too bad, but once you add all of your other inevitable expenditures your budget would likely double easily in my opinion, so if they stick with that I don''t think it''ll be an option.

I know other places won''t have the sentimental value, but maybe could we (PSers) help you look for some other options? You may find something you like more, you never know. I do think that overall depending on where you live 70 people for under $10,000 total (including ceremony, reception, dress, flowers, cake, photography, etc.) is going to be a challenge..not impossible, but a bit of a challenge.

 

[ash313]

I''m sorry, too. That sucks.

I''ll keep my fingers crossed that it could work out for you. Otherwise, I am in MI, too and have been doing lots of research around Mid and Southeast michigan if that would be helpful! I''m sure you''ll find an amazing place!

 

[marchswallowbird]

Date: 12/8/2008 11:09:16 PM
Author: lesco

You know I can relate to your suspicions here especially because most venues I have contacted keep on asking what my budget is... To that I simply answer, well why don''t you tell me how much is your start up price? I feel that they are just trying to trick me!!! Mental I am.

Lesco, you''re definitely not mental. The first rule of negotiation is whoever mentions price first, loses. If you tell the venue what your budget is, that''s the LOWEST price you''ll get charged. You''ll never know if you could/should have gotten it for less. Much better to do it the way you''re doing it; give them your details and ask them to give you a cost estimate, and go from there.