Update on the "Hints" thread....

[Butterflies]

I wanted to say that thanks to this website I decided to have another talk with my bf. Saturday night we were watching tv. While they were having a break for commercials I told my bf that I needed to talk to him. In a non-confrontational way I told him that I felt like I was a little bit in the dark and that I just wanted to know if he had any timelines set regarding our future. He smiled and said yes, within a year. I told him that was exactly what I was thinking too. I gave him a kiss and said "OK, we can now get back to our normal programming" and he started laughing. Then he asked if I thought his timeline might have been 10 years and I said that''s what I was worried about. So we both laughed. I feel much better now that we are both on the same page regarding a reasonable timeline for both of us.

Thank you to all the wise ladies on here.

 

[cRaSh]

YAHHHHHHHHH!!! That''s great!

I can imagine you feel MUCH better! And I''m glad he had a good answer.

 

[Mandarine]

Sounds great Butterflies!!!!

Having a timeline talk is definitely the best way to go about this, specially if you can do it in a non-threaning/confrontational way. Communication is the key and you just needed to make sure you''re both on the same page.

I approached my BF about 1.5 years after we first started dating and he also said within a year (this was in January or so). Not because I was in a hurry back then, but because I needed to know we wanted the same things and were going at about the same pace. Now, if it was up to me I would have hapenned in the earlier part of our timeline, but there are two people in the relationship so it''s not only about when I''m ready

Good luck!!! A year may sound like a long time sometimes but time really does fly!

M~

 

[Cailet]

congrats! sounds like you guys are moving along at the same pace. The year will FLY by!!

 

[Butterflies]

Thank you ladies! It does make me feel more at ease. I had a talk with him at the one year mark, the first talk ever about the future. He said jokingly as an analogy "I''ve saved the riffles, the hunt is over." Then about 6 months later is when he asked about what kind of rings I liked and he asked me to give him time to save for it. This last talk was needed because I wasn''t too sure what his timeline was vs. mine and I didn''t want to assume... So, like everybody said, communication is key and is true.

 

[Becky P]

Butterflies - Congrats! What a lucky LIW you are! It''s great that your bf is able to articulate what he''s thinking and actually give you a timeline. It''s also great that you''re able to add that element of humor into your discussions - re: back to our regularly scheduled programming... Glad things are going so well for you!

 

[Butterflies]

Thank you Becky. He better be ready! It took him years to get to this point: He is 46 yo. (Some men are waaaay more slower than others and my guy is one of them

) The good thing is that I met him when he was ready to settle down. I guess what Mara commented on another thread is right: it is a combo of the right time and the right person. That is what I like to think anyway...

 

[anchor31]

Yay! I''m really happy for you! I remember how relieved I was to get my 2006 timeline back in November... Youmust be thrilled!

 

[sumbride]

Well done! Non-confrontational, results-oriented, and reassuring! Fabulous! Isn''t it nice to be on the same page without pushing! You must be over the moon! And trust me, a year will fly by, though it may not always feel like it! You''ll be engaged before you know it!

 

[Butterflies]

Yes, it is an awesome feeling. Now I just have to learn to be very patient

. Thank you ladies!

 

[IrishAngel7982]

Great news Butterflies! Congratulations on your timeline...I''m sure it will fly by!