Unconventional timeline...

[ChloeTheGreat]

Ok, so. BF and I just passed our 6 year anniversary. We have had a rough last year and a half (unexpected job transitions, financial struggles, etc.) but our struggles have just made us more confident that we want a future together. We have been together since high school and have lived together for several years.
We were expecting to be able to purchase an engagement ring (it is something that WE are purchasing, as the money is all in the same place anyway) a few months ago, but things haven't come together yet as we'd hoped and the money just isn't there. We have a unique financial situation involving a substantial trust fund payment coming next summer that will be more than enough to cover the cost of my dream ring. So that's the plan. We are together and will get married. End of story. The ring is just a cherry on top.
I know other LIW's have said it's crazy to start planning a wedding before getting engaged, but to each her own. I'm doing it anyway.
We picked a date. October 15, 2011. Plenty of time to get engaged and plan a wedding.
I showed my mother some websites for possible venues, one of which happens to have an open house next weekend. My mother suggested we go.
So here I am, with a date in mind, thinking about venues, with no ring on my finger. Just thought I'd share.

Also, my parents never even had wedding rings, let alone an engagement ring. I'm not even sure there was even a proposal. But they had a happy marriage for 20 years. My parents had a courthouse wedding, my mom wore a floral dress that she sewed herself, and then her mother threw them a party and forgot to invite my dad's parents. Oops.

Different strokes for different folks.

 

[mary poppins]

Unconventional is great! No need to let tradition dictate your life. Whatever works for you and BF is all that matters.

 

[beezygal]

I'm excited for you. As long as you guys are on the same page, it's ok to plan a wedding. A wedding takes a long time to plan. Might as well start now. I wish I can start planning my wedding, but my bf thinks I'm moving too fast. He wants to be engaged first before planning anymore. I'm like... you have the ring and you are just waiting for who knows what, we might as well start planning.

 

[luckynumber]

there is absolutely NO RULE that you even have to have an engagement ring, let alone when in the "timeline".

as long as you're not that crazy gal picking her wedding colours before her BF even thinks about getting engaged, then i say plan away!

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

Lol. Thanks for the support ladies! Yes, BF and I are definitely on the same page. BF is so cute, I even showed him ideas of the kind of invitations, dresses, and venues I had in mind, and was surprised to find he has opinions on these things! And luckily my mom is on board and wants to help!

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

Beezygal, tell that guy to hurry up and get the ring on your finger! What's he waiting for?!

 

[Rhea]

Sounds like an engagement to me! As you pointed out, you don't need an engagement ring to be engaged or a wedding band to be married. All it takes is an agreement to get married. Plan away I say! And congratulations on your engagement!!

 

[GettingDesperate905]

OMG! wedding date buddy! lol that's my wedding day!

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

Uh oh, GettingDesperate! Hope you're willing to share with me. Guess we'll be planning together!

 

[Amys Bling]

Chloe- I feel you! My FI and were dating for 11.5 years (started dating freshman year of HS, bought a house 1.5 yrs ago, got a dog 4 months ago) and he encouraged me to start planning prior to officially getting a ring. Well I felt weird about it- he felt we were engaged without a ring and he wanted to be in a place where he would afford the ring I deserved, and it would come. Well 3 weeks after starting to "plan" our wedding, he surprised me with my dream ring! It will come, and I understand totally where you are! Enjoy it! The ring will come, the relationship and marriage are what counts!

 

[nicoleben]

Chloe, im in the same situation.. Havent been together as long as u, but we live together, weve picked out our ring and will be engaged by the end of the summer. His mom and i already started to pick out the month and "possible" weekend of the wedding .. September 2011. So good luck!

Nothing wrong with not being conventional!

 

[Mashira]

Chloe, same here! Not living together (religious, the both of us) but I spend the weekends at his house. We have been talking about getting married for some time now, and decided to make a budget. A budget turned into planning as I am the planning sort of person, planning turned into tastings, and venue visits and whatnot. So.... I'm not engaged, no ring on my finger, and we payed for the caterer and set the date (September 18, 2011) already. I agree it feels a bit odd, especially because I'm a particularly traditional sort of gal (and my friends/mother/others think we've lost our bloody minds), but I don't mind it one bit!