Two wedding ceremonies?

[Jas12]

Hello ''brides of infinite wisdom''

I posted a while ago seeking advice about whether I should have an outdoor wedding at my FI parent''s house. i was pretty committed to the idea and spent countless hours getting quotes, looking for the perfect rental chair, agonizing over details and aesthetics and trying to convince my self it was ''doable''. We finally sat down with the parents and it turned out that they were over the whole idea?!? For the money (much more than we anticipated) and the logistics that would need to take place, they (and both FI and I) thought it wasn''t worth it. I spent a couple days upset about it--not b/c that is what i really needed to do, mostly b/c i spent sooo much time planning it.

So here''s the next option i need opinions on: I found a nice resort, 2 hours away, that has ''penciled me in'' on a sunday of a long weekend. I initially didn''t like the Sunday idea, but then realized it opened up some interesting possibilities. See, my grandmother really really wants me to marry in the catholic church of our home town (both she and my mom were also married there), but i have only ever pictured ONE thing when i think about my wedding, and that''s being outdoors. So, would it be crazy to have a small initimate church ceremony on the saturday, and then ANOTHER ceremony with all the out-of-towners on the sunday??

Has anyone heard of this? I would like your very honest opinions

and, if I did this should I:
a) wear the same dress ? (i was thinking no, just a white sundress or something)
b) do i walk down the isle or carry a bouquet?
c) doi tell my guests that i am getting married (catholic) the day before--or keep it private?
e) do you think it would ''feel'' different on my wedding day knowing it''s official in the eyes of religion?

Thanks guys!

 

[Janezita45]

I know how frustrating it is when you invest countless hours of your time creating a plan, and in a matter of minutes it could all be shattered and you have to basically start over! lol..

Now I don''t know how extended your budget is, but this is what I suggest if you want to keep it simple:

A Saturday wedding is a good idea, but just I would say to keep that limited to you and your FI intimate families and friends, not the regular extended guest list. Religious weddings are very spiritual and is a very important ritual in a serious marriage, why not share it with just those close to you? That''s how I plan on doing mine, because honestly speaking, the majority of the guests who aren''t really close to the family are usually interested in the reception (for the food, drinks, mingling, party, etc).

If you do happen to do two weddings, on the Saturday one get a simple dress, use the same veil and perhaps any other accessory you will be using the following day. As for the bouquet, you can keep it simple (doesn''t have to be something huge or complicated, just a few nicely coordinated flowers). After the wedding you can go out with your immediate family or just your new hubby to dinner or somewhere nice to relax and enjoy your newfound marriage. Then on Sunday you can go all out get married in the resort and then celebrate full blown with all of the guests you had originally invited. If you can afford it, have a photographer (or if you cant just a family member) take some pictures so you can have them as a precious memory (and if you can get the same photographer for your Sunday wedding, you can add it to that album).

I hope this helps! Just go with your instincts, because sometimes brides have needs and they tend to go against their intution and try to do things in other peoples ways, if you know what I mean! Just do what you feel would be enjoyable for your FI and yourself, afterall you two are the ones that are celebrating your union! Everyone else (aside the immediate family) are just joining the party! ehehehehe...

 

[Clarygrace]

Hi there! Sounds like you are having a wedding weekend! I think it''s rather cool.
For the ceremony in church, how about a lovely summer suit (dress w/jacket that you can take off afterwards) and of course your beautiful gown on Sunday?

I will have two ceremonies on the same day...civil service in AM and solemn ceremony in the late afternoon/early evening, and chose a lovely silk shantung ice blue suit (which I can wear again for occasions) and a strapless gown for the evening ceremony.

Happy Planning and don''t sweat the first plan falling thru, it sounds to me that this option is makes everyone in

happy...

 

[labbielove]

frankly that sounds like a great option to me.

from a fellow catholic who didn''t know until recently that you couldn''t get married outdoors (hello, where else do i feel closer to God?? but that''s just me)
i think you have a wonderful idea here....

and i agree, an intimate religious ceremony with close family and friends would be so nice, and you could even do it in the evening (candle light ceremony?) with a nice dinner afterwards and then have the big "party" the next day with all the guests!

 

[oshinbreez]

I got a question. Which day would you celebrate as your anniversary? Both? lol Hmmmm....maybe not such a bad idea.

 

[whatmeworry]

Two weddings is the "In" thing, according to USA Today. I kidded my cousin that she was "In".

http://yahoo.usatoday.com/life/people/2005-06-14-dual-weddings_x.htm?csp=1

 

[rms]

We had 2 weddings and 2 receptions, about 100 people each. First one was a civil ceremony in a brewery/restaurant where we live now, second one was in the church where I grew up. I wore my wedding dress for both, carried flowers for both, etc. Of course they were a few months apart vs. your thought of 1 day apart The only thing we didn''t have to do for the second one was get a marriage license since we were already legally married.

Do what makes you happy!! Good luck!

 

[Jas12]

Thanks everyone, great advice.

It's so neat to hear about what other people have planned or have experienced. I agree that I should get another, less formal outfit and keep it imtimate. I am worried about additional charges for pics, the outfit etc. but maybe i can take flowers from my garden or get a friend to take pictures. I picked a very expensive resort, so I have to be very careful with funds now.

The anniversary question is a good one! I think i would chose the Sunday b/c it will be July 1st which is Canada day and therefore easy to remember, and a festive day! hehe


forgot to add:, thanks for the interesting article, and also i TOTALLY agree about the wishing Catholics would allow outdoor ceremonies. My FI says the same thing "I feel most spiritual when i am sitting on the dock looking over the lake" it's been a topic of discussion b/w us many times. Ah well.

 

[qtiekiki]

We had 2 ceremonies and 2 receptions too. One was in Vegas (for all the legal stuffs). I worn a casual white strapless short dress and DH worn a short sleeves white shirt with khaki slacks. Then we had a traditional Chinese tea ceremony in LA; I worn my wedding gown. I worn the same gown plus 2 Chinese dresses and one evening gown for the reception following the tea ceremony and the 2nd reception in Oakland. I just had a little six roses bouquet for the Vegas wedding courtesy of the chapel. Then I had elaborate bouquets for the other ceremony and receptions.

I decide to wear the same gowns because I had to get so many gowns plus the double expenses on everything else really added up. Also there were no repeat guests at the two receptions except for the family, so I thought the guests might want to see me in a wedding gown in the second reception too.

 

[TravelingGal]

My friend was recently a bridesmaid over labor day weekend where they had a religious ceremony on saturday and a full blown winery wedding on Sunday. The bride decided that everyone had to wear the same thing, twice.

If you have attendants and want them there on both days, just keep in mind they might not be happy to have their entire weekend monopolized. Yes, I know they should be happy for you and very willing but some people just aren''t. My friend said that the second full blown ceremony seemed like "a joke" (her words, not mine) because of some of the antics of the groomsmen during the ceremony. Apparently since they had been through it once, the second time didn''t seem as serious...unbeknownst to the guests that were not there on Sat.

 

[codex57]

I don''t see the problem with two ceremonies. I liked it cuz it meant my wife wore her dress twice and I wore my tux twice. Get more mileage out of the thing. Go through all that effort and spend all that money on a dress, wouldn''t you wanna wear it as much as possible?