Traditional Wedding versus Destination Wedding

[Hudson_Hawk]

Hello everyone,

My bf (who hasn''t even proposed to me yet) asked me this morning what kind of wedding I really wanted. We''ve talked about it before but just in a daydreaming kinda way. He was previously married before and did the big 250+ person formal wedding that time around and he''s also not religious so we''re not going to have a church/country club wedding-that''s a given.

We really like the idea of a destination wedding or getting married on a beach somewhere up here in New England with a reception. I''m thinking our bidget is going to be about 15k (preferably less) for both with between 75 and 100 guests-obviously less if it''s a destination wedding.

For people who''ve done one or the other (destination vs. medium sized casual but classy) weddings, what were the pros and cons of your day? Are there any pitfalls to watch out for? Where would you reccommend having the destination wedding?

Thanks so much everyone!

H2

 

[robbie3982]

I''m in the planning stages of a somewhat destination wedding (FI and I live in OH but are getting married in PA where our families are) and I can tell you that planning something in a different place is hard. We''re only about an hour and a half away from our location, but everything has to be scheduled for the weekends since we can''t go check stuff out during the week. We haven''t had any major problems so far, but it''s something to think about.

 

[firebirdgold]

I''m planning a DW in Hawaii with just our family. It took a while and a lot of agonizing to pick the right resort, but now it''s ridiculously easy to plan! The resort we''re using has a wedding package that was an almost perfect fit, a wedding coordinator, and even the license person on site!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Hey Indie,

So it''s not that hard to do? I think the idea sounds like so much fun but the idea of planning it kinda turns me off. Although, having a coordinator at the resort would be great. How did your family and friends respond to the news that you planned this? My family and friends are all from mixed financial backgrounds so I know some could come but some really couldn''t. It''s the people who can''t come that I''m worried about offending or hurting.

 

[Scooba]

I am planning a DW in Mexico, and I love it, I wouldn''t have it any other way, to me it is so much more exciting to get married in such a beautiful place on the beach

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

DaH,
Where in Mexico are you getting married? We''re considering Mexico but there are so many places to choose from.

 

[jfo]

HudsonHawk,
I live in Chicago and got married in Key West this past February. It did turn out to be our ideal wedding (although my husband originally just wanted to elope). The idea of planning a big wedding completely was really unappealing to me, and having a winter wedding in Chicago was too. So we chose a fun place that we had been to before, and that we knew the majority of each of our families could attend. I didn''t care so much about being married on a beach, per se, but I did want to get married outdoors by the ocean. We wanted a casual, yet classy occasion.

We had our ceremony and reception outside at a beautiful resort next to the Gulf with 40 of our closest family and friends. The resort we chose did not come with its own wedding coordinator, but we did end up hiring a wedding coordinator since we were unable to easily travel down there to speak with vendors, visit locations, etc.

The challenge of a destination wedding (if you are not geographically close) is that you have to make decisions based on pictures and recommendations of others. That''s why we hired the wedding coordinator--we had to put our trust into her and the vendors that she recommended and worked with, and fortunately we were not disappointed at all. And having her really made the planning process so much easier. I gave her our budget and let her know what was important to us. She dealt with all the vendors while ensuring that we were able to get what we wanted and within our budget. It really turned out wonderfully. The best part was that she wasn''t even that expensive. I used to think that a wedding coordinator was for the really wealthy people (ala that movie with Jennifer Lopez), but they can actually be quite affordable.

That said, I know of a lot of ladies who plan a destination wedding themselves, and they have beautiful wonderful weddings too. It definitely can be done, but I''m sure those women are a lot more proactive than me

. Heh, I would have wanted to elope too if it wasn''t going to completely hurt my dad''s feelings...

Ok, I''ve babbled on long enough. Hopefully this was somewhat helpful. Oh, and FYI, there is a discussion forum specifically for Destination Weddings on The Knot if you''re interested. I haven''t been there in a long time, but people can be quite helpful.

 

[Scooba]

We are getting married in Playa del Carmen at the Royal Porto Real Resort & Spa

 

[San Diego Bride]

we had some of the same concerns re: financial issues for our guests. we wanted to get married out of the country, but knew that that would have automatically excluded a few people we really wanted there. we lived in san diego when we met, but by the time i was planning the wedding we lived in the midwest. it wasn''t that hard planning from a different state. i found the venue, photographer, florist and wedding planner in a trip. luckily for me i could stay with girlfriends so it really was more like a vacation than a wedding planning trip. i found the bakery in a later trip, but that was much easier since we had wedding cupcakes instead of a cake (looks cute, much cheaper, no cake cutting fee).

we made sure to reserve a block of rooms at a relatively inexpensive hotel to make things easier for our guests. we also gave our guests ~6 months notice so they could start looking for travel deals.

while there were some parts that were more stressful, it worked out perfectly for us. i think if i lived closer i would have stressed more about the details. i was forced to let a lot of little things go since i was planning from far away. in the end i enjoyed it more. and the best thing was that we had all of the guests we wanted there and still got great beach pictures.

good luck choosing.