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Wedding Too much time to think - should I get another dress???

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EricaR

Ideal_Rock
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Dec 3, 2007
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I think buying my dress a year ahead of time was a bad idea. Not because I don''t love the dress - I do! - but because now I''m over thinking everything.

We finally settled on an exact location, just south of playa del carmen, on the beach. I''ve been looking at TONS of photos of beach weddings in that area and all of the brides are wearing slim, casual dresses that really suit the look. My dress is formal, poofy, and I think I would look silly on the beach.

Lemme try and dig up a photo. I can''t believe I am second guessing myself...
 
This is on the model, obviously not me. Here it does look lighter/airy-er but in person I think it looks really heavy.

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i know what you''re saying, but i think that if you love the dress then that is all you should focus on. you only get one wedding, and if you want to wear a big poofy dress, then wear it! you shouldn''t feel like you have to compromise on it just because most other people opt for something less formal. if you think you will be uncomfortable, then that''s another issue, but don''t think that just because you''re having a beach wedding that you CAN''T wear a formal gown. wear what will make you happy
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No, not if you''re just over thinking the situation. I did the over thinking and ended up stressing over certain aspects of the wedding that just weren''t worth it. If I could do it again I''d give myself about 9 months to plan a wedding. The planning itself didn''t take that long, everyone just books things far out which forces everyone else to do it as well.
 
A friend of mine got married in Playa del Carmen, and she had a heavy (at least it looked that way) silk gown. I think the skirt was about the same size as yours, maybe a bit bigger. As long as you love the dress, rock it to your beach wedding!
 
personally, i think that dress is gorgeous, so if you''ve got it, flaunt it, girl! just a question--does the dress have anything you wear underneath the skirt to make it poufier? i was thinking if you wanted to downplay it some, you could wear it sans any form of crinoline or whatever. honestly though, it''s gorgeous. even cinderella needs a day at the beach sometimes, ya know? you''ll be SUNderella...sorry that was so cheesy. i''m in a goofy mood!
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I don''t think you''re over-thinking it as I am in a similar situation and have the same thoughts sometimes. However, this is how I''ve resolved it at this point: I bought my dress because I love my dress (just like you) and while I planned to have an indoor church wedding..in the spring..which is why I bought satin...I am now having an outdoor wedding..in June. Not exactly suitable for satin.
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However, I love my dress. And I am going to wear it even if the occasion is more suitable for lace. There''s a reason why I didn''t buy lace, I didn''t like how it looked on me. I am sure you bought your dress for a reason as well. And I personally
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your dress!
 
first of all, your dress is gorgeous and i don''t think it looks heavy at all.
(remember i SAW you at the sample sale?
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second, i''ve seen a plenty of beach wedding photos where the bride were a ballgown dress.
if you want, maybe you can downplay the overall look/ feel with shoes, hair, etc.

also ... i don''t know how much you''re willing to alter (instead of getting a new dress) but i saw a picture of a dress similar to yours in tea length (i tried to look for a picture but couldn''t find it anymore ... it is at instyleweddings.com) so, that could be an option for you.

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Right now the dress is all one piece, but I wonder if possibly removing one layer of the heavy netting underneath would work? When I look at the dress in person it looks so much bigger and heavier than in the photo. But that could also be because I am not a size 0 model!!!

Originally I didn''t want a big creampuff dress, which is what I ended up with. I fell in love with the dress and I still do love it, but is it me? Did I get swept up in the sale? Maybe I should go home and try it on again and see what I think. It wouldn''t hurt to go try on a few other dresses after trying mine on. There are quite a few Alfred Angelo dresses I wanted to try on before I purchased mine, so maybe I''m still thinking about those without realizing it???
 
I remember the picture of when you bought the dress. I think it will look lovely on the beach !
 
you have nothing to worry about. I am getting married in South Africa next year, and even though I''m not getting married on the beach, I''ve seen A LOT of beach wedding photos in magazines where brides are wearing traditional gowns and not light dresses. and they look the more stunning for it!
 
I had the same doubts, erica!
I''m getting married in Jamaica next year, and I don''t think my dress fits the bill for "destination wedding" at all.
I even bought another dress! I decided to go with the original...I''ll let you know if I get any weird looks or anything!
 
I went to Alfred Angelo yesterday and I tried on this dress. It was sooo so so so flattering that I didn''t want to take it off.

Honestly, I felt little tiny pricks of regret since the minute I purchased my first dress. I really didn''t want strapless - my bust is so large that strapless gowns leave me looking like there is a HUGE expanse of bright white skin. The straps on the Alfred Angelo break up that expanse, and I think the slim silhouette would be much more flattering for the beach.

I''m not going to rush into anything this time, just going to take my time to think over everything and all my options. I made an appointment with one of the "fancy" bridal salons in the area for next Saturday, just to go and try on...

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I'm wearing the Dora so I know what the fabric is like on your dress, and I think it will be much more beautiful on the beach than the pic you posted because it is a light, flowy fabric that will blow in the breeze. The one you posted is satin or taffeta right? Which isn't nearly as breezy on the beach as the light organza of your dress!

I think you should consider having your dress altered to see how you like it after that. If you honestly don't like the shape with the bigger skirt, then yeah you should probably consder getting a new dress, but I would consider getting one in fabric that will blow a bit in the breeze not only because it will be pretty but also a bit cooler than a thicker fabric! Just my $.02
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ETA: Also meant to say that you could add straps to the dress you have, I think some of those little triangle cap sleeves would look great, and the seamstress could make them out of some of the extra dotted organza on your dress!!
 
the more you try on and keep looking the more you''re going to doubt your first choice, then second choice, etc. though I have to say I am jealous that you''ve got enough cash to consider buying two dresses.

I agree that maybe you should look into adding straps on the dress you already have.
 
I played around with adding straps to my current dress, but I can''t get any of the swiss dot fabric and in any other fabric they would just look silly. I went ahead and listed my dress on CraigsList and will be putting it on eBay in the near future. If I can get the same amount out of it that I paid for it I''ll be happy.

Today I tried on a few dresses at the local froo-froo bridal boutique. We snuck some photos when the SA was out of the room. The person I had with me has seen my current dress and she agreed that we liked this one so much more.

This is the one I liked best - the halter top would have to be altered a bit to get it to fit perfectly, but all it would take is a few tucks here and there, something they would do at the time it is fitted. So ignore those little pieces of fabric poking out around the boob-ish area.

I would also have them remove some of the length of the train so that it wouldn''t have to be bustled quite so much, and I would of course be wearing spanx or something else to smooth out the tummy bumps. The dress is about $400 less than I paid for my original, so if I get the same amount for that as I paid then it would cover this dress plus alterations. I''m not 100% sure that this one is "it", but I really do like it.

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From the front...

ericarhalterfront.jpg
 
I do like this dress, but I like the Angelo one more. Hmm..keep looking a bit before you buy this one. Something about it just doesn''t sit right with me, not sure what. If you were in love with it, that''d be different, but since you''re not 100% sure it''s the one I say look a bit longer.
 
E, I love the dress you bought though I see your point. I think it could work but you have to be sold on the idea.

I do not love the other one you are wearing. I dislike the lace showing with a short overskirt. To me it looks like they ran out of the top layer fabric. I know that is not the case but it is not hitting me. Also do not think it looks beachy, but that is me. I like the drapier one the model is wearing. I think you have to either go totally with the setting, or just rock it and do what you love.
 
Date: 6/21/2008 11:53:25 PM
Author: diamondfan
E, I love the dress you bought though I see your point. I think it could work but you have to be sold on the idea.

I do not love the other one you are wearing. I dislike the lace showing with a short overskirt. To me it looks like they ran out of the top layer fabric. I know that is not the case but it is not hitting me. Also do not think it looks beachy, but that is me. I like the drapier one the model is wearing. I think you have to either go totally with the setting, or just rock it and do what you love.
I totally agree with everything Diamondfan says.

I love that Alfred Angelo, and I''ll bet it looks stunning on you. I''m sure that style would be really flattering on you. I also think it looks like it would be very comfortable. I would definitely try it on again and see if you still feel the same way (and sneak a few pics for us too!!)

You should love love love your wedding dress. Don''t settle.
 
Date: 6/22/2008 12:04:18 AM
Author: Anastasia

Date: 6/21/2008 11:53:25 PM
Author: diamondfan
E, I love the dress you bought though I see your point. I think it could work but you have to be sold on the idea.

I do not love the other one you are wearing. I dislike the lace showing with a short overskirt. To me it looks like they ran out of the top layer fabric. I know that is not the case but it is not hitting me. Also do not think it looks beachy, but that is me. I like the drapier one the model is wearing. I think you have to either go totally with the setting, or just rock it and do what you love.
I totally agree with everything Diamondfan says.
Me too. I think you should keep looking. I prefer the Alfred Angelo. The halter looks like it would have to have darts added into the bust to work.... and you may not like the way that ends up looking.
 
I will say that the photos are not at all flattering. Looking at them now I totally see what you guys are saying. I will say that the overskirt is longer - we had it pulled sort of oddly to play with the bustle. Oh well.

My mom wants me to come up and try on gowns with her. Where is a good place in the Bay Area to do so?
 
Erica, knowing that the skirt was bustled oddly makes a bit of a difference. But to me, the one you bought initially and the one you are wearing are not THAT different to me. I like the Alfred Angelo one on the model, that has a much flowier feeling to me. I just think you can do better than the one you are pictured in. And honestly, I think your dress is lovely, and having not been to many beach weddings, it is hard to say what is the best look. You can either go tea length and wear ballet shoes or flats, or work the gown and just go with it. I really think your dress is lovely.
 
I love the first one (your dress!) I think it is fine for a beach wedding!

I also love the alfred angelo! I think the silhouette is very flattering, and I love the straps.

In the pics of you in the other dress, I know it has not yet been tailored, but I'm not loving it on you. I think the halter neck is emphasizing your bust and I am not sure if that is the look you are going for. It also seems like the dress is fighting with your curves instead of hitting them in all the right places. It also seems tight across the stomach. Maybe this would be fixed in alterations? I'm also not loving the two tiered skirt but that's personal preference. To me, it is a bit distracting and makes you look short (not sure how tall you are?) I could imagine either of the other two dresses being more flattering on you, to be honest! If you don't LOVE it, I'd hold off.
 
From one busty girl to another...the halter neckline, although it seems to be more "covering" than strapless, really does just end up emphasizing the bust and making it seem out of proportion a lot of the times. Now I''m sure there are some halters that don''t, but I know when I was trying dresses on, I felt the most comfortable in halters, but then when I looked at the picture it made me look like I was going to topple over. And I just don''t think the halter is doing anything for you. I''d LOVE to see some pics of you in your original dress! But if you are set on getting a new one, I KNOW you can find something more flattering than the halter!
 
umm, not trying to be rude...but you have tons of time to think about it and shop around. I mean seriously I had to make a decision pretty quick because my wedding was 4 and a half months out and some dresses take 3 months to get in but you have a year.

So, sell the one you have if that''s what you''ve decided and then take a couple of trips try on everything you can and go home dwell on it a while and then take another trip to try on your "finalists".

Just my 2 cents babe.
 
I still like the dress you have. From the stock photo it looks like the top layer is light floaty chiffony stuff. Perhaps because it doesn''t fit correctly it''s not super thrilling right now, but I think it would be awesome on the beach. If you don''t believe it, it isn''t ever going to work, but personally I don''t think you need a new dress. I got married in a fairly simple dress and have since wished that I''d gone a little bit bigger. When else do you get the chance?

You have gobs of time, live with it for a little while and see how you feel. I don''t love the new dress much either, it doesn''t look as well made and seems a little fussy for the beach.

See, this could be you. Only awesomer. And you''re prettier. Believe it!

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I just wanted to say that I''m not trying to rush, I''m just posting the ones I like as I try them on. :)

I dug up a camera phone photo of me wearing the Alfred Angelo dress from above. I forgot I had it!

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I think that one is lovely!
 
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