To all the parents out there…

[nala]

Do you want your high schoolers to interact with their favorite teachers on social media? Do you want them to develop relationships with said favorite teachers even after they have moved on from their class? If so, to what extent? If you don’t, why not?

 

[TooPatient]

Very gray area in my mind. It would very much depend on the particular teacher and the type of communication. Examples I am aware of:

Teacher I had married his former high school student.

Teacher keeps in touch with former student who is now active professionally in the area they taught.

Teacher who comes across as flirty and is barely older than her students keeps in touch after they are out of her class.


Having teacher recommendations for scholarships, college admissions, and even reference for jobs can be helpful for those starting out. But... Gray area. Severely gray. That authority role that is looked up to is not necessarily a great way to relate and can easily be unhealthy if it interferes with the former student relating with others in their peer group.

 

[Missy]

Not a parent to a human child but may I answer?

No, I don't think it is a good idea. I feel teacher and parent especially at this level should be professional and not on social media. They need to be an authority figure the child can look up to and social media is too familiar and too lax. IMO.

There are boundaries that need to be in place to maximize eduction and a safe environment in which the child can grow and learn.

Once they are adults, sure. Anything goes. An adult is an adult. But while they are young and impressionable I don't think it's a great idea.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Not a fan of this, furthermore I’m not a fan of kids on social media.

Our son is 14 and he does not have any social media accounts so we don’t have to worry about this.

 

[Austina]

Maybe I’m just too cynical, but I’d find it odd if the teacher wanted to be friends with kids they taught. I’d be worrying about accusations of impropriet.

 

[ZestfullyBling]

i would seriously question the motives of any teacher allowing students to interact with them on social media and or development of relationships after they are out of there class.

am I wrong to say this seems like it would be almost borderline predatory behavior? Most HS students are going through puberty, confused and growing…so impressionable.

 

[Karl_K]

not a parent, but no and heck no.

 

[nala]

Thank you for your responses. I want to add context to my thread. I’ve never had fb and I only lurk on ig to follow my DD so basically I have no soc media profile. When fb was first opened to the public, my high school seniors urged me to get one so that I could stay in touch but it never felt right so I didn’t. I am now 25 years into teaching and have noticed that several of my colleagues—my age and younger—post about their relationships with their students on ig. It’s become like a competition to showcase who is the most beloved teacher. Not even kidding. Our school superintendent and principal encourages all teachers to use ig (Instagram or fb) to post about our classes and stay connected with school events. I am a very private person but I am also feeling antiquated for not jumping on this trend lately. It’s nice to know outside perspectives and that I’m not alone in my way of thinking bc I won’t be doing that ever.

 

[TooPatient]

Thank you for your responses. I want to add context to my thread. I’ve never had fb and I only lurk on ig to follow my DD so basically I have no soc media profile. When fb was first opened to the public, my high school seniors urged me to get one so that I could stay in touch but it never felt right so I didn’t. I am now 25 years into teaching and have noticed that several of my colleagues—my age and younger—post about their relationships with their students on ig. It’s become like a competition to showcase who is the most beloved teacher. Not even kidding. Our school superintendent and principal encourages all teachers to use ig (Instagram or fb) to post about our classes and stay connected with school events. I am a very private person but I am also feeling antiquated for not jumping on this trend lately. It’s nice to know outside perspectives and that I’m not alone in my way of thinking bc I won’t be doing that ever.

In a situation like that, I would think setting up a different account that is strictly teacher and students and conducted as such would be fine. I have seen that in recent months and the posts (at least those I have seen) are kept to school business or related to the material the class has covered and seems to just be a relaxed conversation about school material. That I would have no problem with.
Adding students on an account with friends and family so they see everything you do including parties with friends, drinking, bathing suits, whatever... That would be too far.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Not a chance. I'll use platforms meant for education, like Classdojo, but not typical "social media". I do not mix those two at all. I've had parents attempt to friend request me and I always decline.

 

[nala]

In a situation like that, I would think setting up a different account that is strictly teacher and students and conducted as such would be fine. I have seen that in recent months and the posts (at least those I have seen) are kept to school business or related to the material the class has covered and seems to just be a relaxed conversation about school material. That I would have no problem with.
Adding students on an account with friends and family so they see everything you do including parties with friends, drinking, bathing suits, whatever... That would be too far.

These colleagues DO NOT have separate accounts! Bc they like to show off to their friends how popular they are.

 

[Trekkie]

I'm that annoying kid who stayed in touch with her teachers long after she left school. I took six subjects in my final year of school and I'm in touch with three of my teachers. Two have died but I had tea with one a few weeks before he died. The only teacher still living who I'm not in touch with is the one I crushed on

I don't see anything wrong with kids staying in touch with their teachers. I do think while kids are still kids their parents should monitor who they're in contact with, whether they're chatting to teachers or not.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

Very gray area in my mind. It would very much depend on the particular teacher and the type of communication. Examples I am aware of:

Teacher I had married his former high school student.

Teacher keeps in touch with former student who is now active professionally in the area they taught.

Teacher who comes across as flirty and is barely older than her students keeps in touch after they are out of her class.


Having teacher recommendations for scholarships, college admissions, and even reference for jobs can be helpful for those starting out. But... Gray area. Severely gray. That authority role that is looked up to is not necessarily a great way to relate and can easily be unhealthy if it interferes with the former student relating with others in their peer group.

Took the words right out of my mouth!
Very very gray. Some out-of-class relationships with students are completely innocent & ok. Especially if that teacher made a huge positive impact on the child and they don't speak regularly but just occasionally check in. Also different teachers who are from different cultures who might have completely sound motives might not understand the fine line that one should not cross with students.

As long as they're not spending one on one time alone, and aren't constantly talking I think I'd be ok with it. Especially if they didn't communicate by messaging eachother but occasionally commenting on eachothers posts every now & then.

I think unless they're actively in ones class (& again any communication is not soley in private) any constant communication would put my ears up & quick!

When I was in elementary school I & about the rest of the classroom was in love with our male teacher, Mr. Parker who taught our fifth grade class. It was an age where we were starting to like boys and Mr. Parker would be a fox by any grown woman's standards today. Think a young 35 yr old Spanish George Clooney with pitch black hair.

Anyways he was very aware of the power he held over the girls in class & made sure to keep great lengths between us all to avoid any possible dangerous situations because us girls did try to get his attention. Any kid that was suffering problems at home had an ear but was quickly refered to the school counselor. At the end of the year when we were signing eachothers shirts and yearbooks and exchanging landline #'s (ha!) Or emails many of the girls took turns going up to Mr. Parker to get their t-shirt signed, and boy if they weren't wearing it before they made sure to put it on just to feel his forearm grace their back bahahaha but I remember all of us asking to keep in touch & each and every time he refused. We were fifth graders, so we weren't exactly shy in our crush for him. Sadly if he had one rotten bone in his body, so much abuse could have resulted from this situation.

It's sad but so easy for that power dynamic to result in abuse if the teacher crosses the line.

So like @TooPatient mentioned above it's an extremely gray area and one that should be examined & dealt with on a case by case basis.

But to sum it up, for me personally, if my child had moved on from their class and just had them friended on SM but didn't talk one on one constantly, I wouldn't mind it. This is for highschool age of course. For any other age that is a whole different ball game & gets way more inappropriate & fast!

 

[nala]

I'm that annoying kid who stayed in touch with her teachers long after she left school. I took six subjects in my final year of school and I'm in touch with three of my teachers. Two have died but I had tea with one a few weeks before he died. The only teacher still living who I'm not in touch with is the one I crushed on

I don't see anything wrong with kids staying in touch with their teachers. I do think while kids are still kids their parents should monitor who they're in contact with, whether they're chatting to teachers or not.

That’s sweet! I have always limited my interactions to on campus settings. Former students drop by to visit but I’m not one to exchange phone numbers or take them out to lunch, etc. I do know many colleagues who do and then post about It.

 

[Trekkie]

That’s sweet! I have always limited my interactions to on campus settings. Former students drop by to visit but I’m not one to exchange phone numbers or take them out to lunch, etc. I do know many colleagues who do and then post about It.

I'm old, and my teachers are even older!! The youngest is in his sixties and has no social media presence to speak of. I'm very lucky, I had good teachers who were also great human beings and I value the relationships I developed with them.

The situation you describe where teachers maintain a relationship with students in order to farm likes and management approval would make me very uncomfortable.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I think what you’re doing it correct and appropriate @nala. Most of my friends who are teachers do the same, and do not have social media accounts, or very limited people who know of their social media accounts. They do not use social media to stay connected to students. I think it is inappropriate for teachers to air their personal lives online. I would be very disturbed to see teacher/student interaction outside of school events. One of my friends has a grown up daughter (elementary school teacher) who is very active on social media, she goes through boyfriends and bikinis like crazy, and all her students and their parents have easy access and can see what she does, it is no wonder the principal at her school gave her a warning and is not on good terms with her.

 

[Arcadian]

I'm that annoying kid who stayed in touch with her teachers long after she left school. I took six subjects in my final year of school and I'm in touch with three of my teachers. Two have died but I had tea with one a few weeks before he died. The only teacher still living who I'm not in touch with is the one I crushed on

I don't see anything wrong with kids staying in touch with their teachers. I do think while kids are still kids their parents should monitor who they're in contact with, whether they're chatting to teachers or not.

I stayed in touch with 2 of my teachers. One passed in my college years, one is still living though he is my parents age. These days...might be iffy but also parents can monitor more (and should!)

 

[ShinyPink]

My kids and their friends follow former teachers on FB. All teachers would only add them after graduation. It's high school and elementary school teachers. I'm friends with some of my former students. No one- kids or teachers- ever posts much more than vacation or family photos. I have yet to see anyone on either side post inappropriate things. Plus, a lot of teachers live in the community and my kids babysat for some after high school. I'm also friends with my kids' friends. Nothing exciting, either. The kids around here who are the type to be inappropriate aren't the ones teachers would friend to begin with.