Tips

[buttercup80]

Okay, ladies, I know this has been discussed in the past, but I''m looking for recent viewpoints. . . Getting married in 10 days!

Our venue includes gratuities for the waitstaff and bartender - how much would you tip the maitre d/DOC? Our plates are $95/head and we are paying for a ceremony site fee and a maitre d fee. . .

We are NOT planning to tip our rabbi since he is charging us $750

and will not be staying after the ceremony because he has another wedding that afternoon.

We will tip the hair lady (20%?), but I''m not sure about the makeup lady since she owns her own business. . . DJ? Florist? Baker/Cupcake setup lady?

So, tips: Who are you tipping and how much?? TIA!

 

[Cleopatra]

I'm funny about tipping for weddings. The only people we tipped were the officiant, hair stylist, and makeup artist.

I feel as though the prices of the florist, band, caterer, etc all include a hike up because it's a wedding - I feel as though you are paying for their service, therefore their "tip" is already included.

I know some may disagree with my point of view, but I feel as though their prices already reflect payment for their services. For example - if a photographer is $2,000 - would you tip him because he showed up and did his job? No - that's what you paid him for in the first place....that's my view on tipping wedding vendors.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I have to say from experience, when I worked in a floral I know they hiked the prices up for weddings (it really was a reasonable amount) however if there were tips, I never saw any of them and I helped make many wedding pieces. Granted I didn''t help set them up but still I have a feeling the owner just kept everything for herself.

 

[Gwyn]

I plan to tip my hair and makle up and nail people the usual 20%

My DJ, Florist, cake baker, and photographer are all proprieters who named their prices, I assume that the general tipping rules applies and therefor do not plan to tip them. I will have some cash on hand if something crazy happens and someone really steps up or something like that. But I doubt I will be tipping them.

As for the officiant. He is also a proprieter sort of deal, I really dont know if tipping is customary. He charges $250 for his service....I will have to discuss that with FI.

Our venue includes a 20% service fee added on to everything when all is said and done (before tax). I take that to be their tip and would only tip the servers extra if there was something spectacular. Do you all think that is wrong? Should I be tipping them regardless? 20 percent on everything (that is including the grounds fees) I think should cover my duty to whomever works there and with only 50 people we are only going to have 1 or 2 servers and a bartender. I will have to discuss it with my coordinator there.

what do you all think?

 

[Gwyn]

I found this article. I remember reading somewhere something about not positing links to outside sites so I will just copy it below:

By the time we are adults most of us have learned the etiquette of tipping, having applied it in our everyday lives. Tipping is a practice which originally was intended To Insure Prompt Service (TIPS), and as a way of increasing your odds of getting quality service. Today, most of us have come to expect good service as a given and, even though we often don''t get the service we feel entitled to, tipping has remained a social norm, nevertheless. People in service businesses have come to expect a tip. Whether it''s a wait person, a bellhop or your hair stylist, tips are "counted" in the monies they earn.

Richard Erikson chef-owner of Blue Mountain Bistro has catered many weddings. He explains that "the issue of tipping is one in which many people find that doing what''s right is confusing." He pointed out that "with weddings, most caterers follow the European custom where a service charge is added to the bill and a tip or gratuity is added by the customer on top of it." Eric added that "the caterer may point out that he and his staff are personally responsible for the client''s happiness at their special event, and if the client is pleased with the service, it is customary to add a tip/gratuity on top of the bill. " He emphasized that "in order to avoid any misunderstandings, it''s important for the client to understand what and how much he or she is paying." He recommended that "every catering client should get an itemized bill, in advance of the affair, which includes an explanation of service charges, tipping and gratuity policies."

Tipping as wedding protocol is, however, a bit more complicated and has some of its own rules. As with other services we receive, tipping is based on the level of care that exceeds our expectation of what a service provider offers. The amounts stated here are suggested guidelines. It is still appropriate to follow your own feelings in making a decision about how much to tip.

The catering manager for New World Catering, in Saugerties, emphasized the need for customers to thoroughly read the contract and to ask questions. Most caterers add the gratuity of 18% to 20% right onto the bill. That gratuity is sometimes called a service fee or service charge. It is an extra line on the bill in addition to food and bar. Wording differs from caterer to caterer, so customers need to be sure that they understand the bill in general and, in particular, they need to know much of the service charge the wait persons and other staff are actually getting paid.

Most caterers say that customers are not expected to tip "on top," but point out that many people choose to do so. It is the caterer''s responsibility to make it clear to customers, up front, in what way the staff is taken care of and if anything additional is required.

It is really important for you to be open and forthcoming with your caterer, catering manager or restaurant owner. Ask if they have a policy and, if so, what it is. Gratuities relating to food services are often automatically included in the bill, so make sure to read your contract carefully. The gratuity may be calculated based on the number of guests or on the total amount of the bill and usually is paid for prior to the reception. The customary amount is between 15% and 20%. If, at the reception, the food services person goes out of his or her way for you and your guests, you might add a tip of $1-$2 per guest, after the reception. Tipping a hostess, maitre D'' or captain would fall between 1% and 2%.

Waiters and waitresses are usually tipped between 15% and 20% of the food bill, assuming such tips are not already included in the bill. If, during the reception, a particular server has made an effort "above and beyond," you may, of course, choose to give that individual an additional tip.

Bartenders are also tipped between 15% and 20%, based on the bar bill. An additional 10% above the gratuity is not uncommon. What is most important with reference to the bar is that it be made absolutely clear that the bartender may not accept tips from your guests. A sign placed at the bar that says "No Tipping Please," should cover that contingency.

Daniel Gendron, owner of Gendron Catering in Rhinebeck said that his concept of tipping is that it should be based on service. "The premise then should be," he added "that tipping should ultimately be up to the client''s discretion." He too added that it is customary for people to tip after a wedding and that their tips are based on the quality of the service they have received. He explained that "at Gendron, gratuities are divided amongst the entire staff, not just the server, with pooled tips the unofficial policy."

At present, Daniel explained that Gendron Caterers follows the industry-wide standard of adding a 15%-20% gratuity to the catering bill. He points out to his clients that if the service they receive is exceptional, additional tips would be appreciated, but by no means would he set a rule for clients indicating who should get what and how much the tips should be. He added that he is "seriously considering changing policy to exclude the gratuities from the bill to his clients, thereby, leaving tips entirely to the discretion of clients." He added that it was his feeling, based on experience "that such a policy would not exclude staff from receiving gratuities," but instead, is convinced that because "service is exceptional at Gendron, clients will tip more than the usual 15% to18% and service personnel will actually benefit from such a policy!"

Restroom, coat check, valet person and parking attendants are ordinarily prepaid and usually tipped between $1 and $2 per coat or car. The calculation may also be based on a per guest tip in the range of fifty cents. It may well be to your advantage to arrange a flat fee prior to your event.

Limousine drivers are usually tipped between 15% and 20% of the bill. Once again, should you feel you were given special service, you have the option of adding to the standard tip amount. It should again be emphasized that you need to read your contract carefully, so you don''t double tip.

Musicians, including DJs, may be tipped if their performance is exceptional. The amount of the tip is in the range of $25 per band member or, in the case of a DJ, 15% of their total bill. The tip (in essence, the fee) for church organists and church musicians is usually included in the rental fee for the church. Where this is not the case, a gratuity in the range of between $35 and $50 is appropriate. If the organist and/or musicians/soloist are close friends of the couple or of the family, the average gratuity is $75.

Florists, photographers and bakers are not ordinarily tipped, nor do they expect to be. A flat fee is paid, in advance, for their services. Again, if service is extraordinary, a tip in the range of 15% is appropriate.

Wedding etiquette says that an officiant is "never tipped," but judges break that rule, because, in their cases, tipping actually takes the place of a fee for service rendered and is the only payment the officiant receives. Clergy persons may be comfortable accepting a donation for their organization. Years ago it was considered improper to ask a set fee for officiant services rendered. Today, you may find mention of a "suggested donation." The average gratuity starts at $75, more if travel time is involved or if you feel so inclined. Most couples rarely feel comfortable giving less than a hundred dollars for the wedding officiant. It''s appropriate for the donation to be given to the best man before the ceremony. Following the proceedings, it is appropriate for him to give the "fee" to the officiant. A civil officiant (e.g., judge, Justice of the Peace, City Clerk, etc.) is not allowed to accept a tip or donation for a wedding ceremony performed during court /office hours. After hours, they may accept a "donation'' (gratuity) of up to $75. To make sure you are within the legal guidelines of your locale, check with your officiant for specifics.

Make sure that you plan to include tips in your budget, because, depending on the size of your affair, tipping costs can become quite substantial, easily increasing your costs by hundreds or even thousands of dollars.

Plan ahead by selecting a designated tipper, your wedding consultant, best man, or anyone with whom you are comfortable to handle this task. Prior to the wedding, talk to him or her about your views on tipping and explain what parameters to follow on the day of the wedding.

It appears that although tipping is said to be optional, it has become fairly obvious that it is almost always expected. Even the amount of tips, although again presumably optional and at your discretion, seem to be "set." Use the information you have about averages, as well as your personal feelings. Keep in mind, that above all, service comes first and a tip is a concrete way to thank people based on the level of service they provide and to recognize those who went out of their way to ensure your day was as memorable as it can be.

 

[meresal]

I will NOT be tipping any of the servers or bartenders at my reception. I''m already paying 20% gratuity and 8.25% sales tax on top of my venue cost, which is totalling almost $4000!!

I will be tipping hair, make-up, and the other smaller things. I''m not sure about our officiant, but the church is $900 and that includes his fee. He''s been our minister all my life, and for my sister''s wedding, so that will be my parents decision.

 

[buttercup80]

Thanks for everyone''s thoughts! I''m thinking we''ll tip the hair lady, possibly the makeup (although she owns her own business), possibly the DJ (if he does well), and the DOC (probably about 2%?)...