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Those waiting beyond a 2009 engagement...

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Dreamgirl

Dreamgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
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Us girls (thinking) we will be waiting beyond 2009 (I'm talking 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013...) need our own thread since we have a "Those expecting a 2009 engagement" thread.
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This makes me feel better! haha! After I said I would "try" not to worry about the future, I feel sad that so many are expecting a 2009 engagement and I don't think it will happen for me in 2009. (I don't think) Terrible I know. I'm so happy for everyone and I'm not honestly quite ready just yet to get married. But I still can't help but think about it and want it so badly.

So this thread is for us who are here and plan to be here- but still waiting quite a while before anything happens!
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What do you say? I just thought it might be healty to have a discussion here with those who are still waiting longer than '09 rather than with those expecting it in '09. You know?

We are like the LIWaitingWaitingWaitingWaiting..........
 
Im trying not to ''expect'' anything, time will tell...and it will happen when the time is right for the both of us!
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Dream, just out of curiousity, did BF say that it was definitely in the works for 2011?

I think its great that you''re not getting ahead of yourself, but definitely try not to let the 2011 (or beyond) timeline be the be all, end all. He may very well surprise you. He may be planning something and wants you to be completely thrown off...
 
So I'm thinking it's going to be around 2013 for me, lol, so I'm here with you! I'm a Lady in Waiting For A While. I think my situation is a little different, since I'm not really axious for it to happen right now, but I know it'll happen. Someday.
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It's fun to think about all of the cool things we'll do together before then.
 
I think I probably will be, although if there is no engagement by the end of this year SO and I will be having another very serious timeline talk.

He wants to have kids by the time he is 31. He is turning 29 in four months. So if there is no engagement within the next year it is unlikely, save an accidental pregnancy, that his timeline for kids will happen as I want to be married first.

He doesn''t quite think about those things though- he doesn''t equate wanting to have kids by a certain time with having to propose before that time. Silly boy.

Anyway, I think I am okay with waiting for now. Although I frequently have little LIW freakouts because I am a natural planner and hate not being able to plan for when this will happen!
 
just wanted to chime in I''m thinking 2011 (last year of law school) will be the year, it could be a year earlier/later but I''m getting the good vibes for ''11
 
I think I''m probably in the 2013+ish crowd. SO and have been together since freshman year of college, 3 years and some months now, and don''t plan on taking that step until we both finish graduate school. My graduation date will be in May of 2013 for my doctorate and he''s looking at 2013-14. We often talk of fun it would be to marry on the 10th anniversary of either the day we met (Sept. 6, 2015) or our dating anniversary (Nov. 7, 2015). We are planing to elope so we wouldn''t need more than a few months engagement (to ward the questions about details...) so it could be as late as late Spring/early summer of 2015...wowza, I''m going to be a LIW for a LOOOONG time! I''ll be here with you Dreamgirl!
 
You girls seem so settled and mature! I feel somewhat relieved looking at your timelines, because it is dawning on me that my upgrade will be at least that time line as well! (2011 plus)
So perhaps we are kindred spirits (and I have to learn some of your patience!!
 
Dreamgirl, I''m glad you started this thread!

I think we''re looking at 2011 for engagement - one year after law school - although I keep telling him that I think 2010 is the perfect time to get engaged since we''d be done with school. Boys...
 
im glad you started this, too! we''ve been together 3+ years, are 26 and definitely headed towards marriage, but we aren''t quite there yet. i like hanging out here because it''s way more relaxed and mature than some of the other forums i''ve seen out there.

plus all of the exciting news is fun!
 
Date: 1/6/2009 2:15:33 PM
Author: Bia
Dream, just out of curiousity, did BF say that it was definitely in the works for 2011?

I think its great that you''re not getting ahead of yourself, but definitely try not to let the 2011 (or beyond) timeline be the be all, end all. He may very well surprise you. He may be planning something and wants you to be completely thrown off...
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No. He never said definitely 2011. He never said definitely anything other than it will happen. ha! All he told me was, and I quote "28 seems like a good age" (to get engaged.) We are both 27 now. I''m not sure I see it happening when we are 28 though because he still hasn''t found that better job and due to that, we don''t know if he will go back to school for a masters or not. He wont decide on going back to school until after he gets hired for another job. If he decides to go back to school for the masters, I don''t see him proposing while in school. That takes 2 years. He wouldn''t have time for it. So right now it''s all up in the air I think as far as when it will happen. He would never propose now. I don''t see that happening anytime soon. At least until he gets the better job. He has this mindset where he has to be set financially before being my husband. He''s pretty good with money and saving money so it''s a big deal to him.

He does want to surprise me though. That is something he really wants to do. He has made that a point to me in the past. So.....I can''t really rule anything out. But this is just what I''m thinking. I just think that we aren''t in that place yet where it''s going to happen soon...And that''s ok.
 
princesss- I agree. And I'm trying to concentrate on 'right now' and not 'tomorrow' as I usually do.

bobbin- Natural planner here too! And I hear you on the kid thing. I'm not sure S and I will actually have kids, but he has told me about 3-4 times that I ought to have kids by 35 or they could end up with problems. To which I reply "Well, we are 27 now and I'd like to be married for years before even considering children" and I don't think he gets it either. I WILL NOT be the one who gets married and then has a kid a year later....

purselover- I hear ya!

audball- See, this is a HUGE part in when an engagment would happen for me. If S goes back for a masters as I said, he WONT propose while in school. And I think that's a great thing. With being overwhelmed with your education, I really don't see what the hurry is to get married when you wont have all the time in the world to be planning a wedding. He would never propose while in school. But we don't know if he will go back to school or not because he would need to find out from his future 'new job' if he would need a masters to advance further and become more of a 'boss' down the line.

LaraOnline- Well thank you! I hope to think that good things come to those who wait. I HOPE! haha!

Brown.Eyed.Girl- Thank you! I'm glad you joined in this thread. As much as I care for all the LIW's it's sometimes hard to hear everyone that's expecting their engagements yesterday while I know mine is so much further down the line. It's comforting to hear what others think and have to say that are still waiting too.

KatM- I completely feel the same way as you. We aren't there yet. Even after 10.5 years together and both being 27. It's something I want but a part of me just isn't ready yet.
 
I suppose I belong in this thread. I don''t really know WHEN he''ll propose but I''m not EXPECTING it this year per say. If he did I''d be very surprised and excited.

Right now we''re looking at a .30 F VS1 emerald cut GIA stone for a fun project, any thoughts on what to do with it would be appreciated. I''d either like a pendant or a ring with a halo around it I think.
 
Oooohhh... I love this thread! I''m not expecting a proposal anytime soon since bf and I have only been dating for 6 months and I''m not even sure if I ever want to get married again (my last marriage was terrible!)... but we''ll see
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It''s so good to read all your posts! Let''s keep a positive outlook!
 
I have a feeling I will be waiting until 2010. Probably in the spring since we both will be graduating college then. I can''t wait!
 
Dreamgirl, I know what you mean - I love looking at the newly-engaged ladies'' rings and hearing their stories, but it IS hard knowing that your turn won''t be for a while. I''m glad you ladies are on this thread!
 
Hang in there Dreamgirl! Our times will come!

School and education are an important factor that will affect your whole future together. Him getting a Masters should be encouraged, I''m so glad to see that you''re behind him and support him either way!

It''s going to be a LONG wait for me, but I''m not ready to get married now either. I want to be done with school, get my loans paid off, and (between the two of us) have enough money saved up to put a down payment on a house when/near/before/shortly after we get married (we want to elope, something nice, but nothing too expensive, just the two of us, 2-3k maybe for a nice weekend away/ceremony so no worries on saving for a wedding).
 
Date: 1/8/2009 6:23:38 PM
Author: Brown.Eyed.Girl
Dreamgirl, I know what you mean - I love looking at the newly-engaged ladies'' rings and hearing their stories, but it IS hard knowing that your turn won''t be for a while. I''m glad you ladies are on this thread!
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Yeah, that''s what I''m saying! It would be nice to also talk to some of you on the side....you know....about waiting longer ha!
 
Date: 1/8/2009 6:34:56 PM
Author: audball
Hang in there Dreamgirl! Our times will come!

School and education are an important factor that will affect your whole future together. Him getting a Masters should be encouraged, I''m so glad to see that you''re behind him and support him either way!

It''s going to be a LONG wait for me, but I''m not ready to get married now either. I want to be done with school, get my loans paid off, and (between the two of us) have enough money saved up to put a down payment on a house when/near/before/shortly after we get married (we want to elope, something nice, but nothing too expensive, just the two of us, 2-3k maybe for a nice weekend away/ceremony so no worries on saving for a wedding).
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Absolutely! Thanks for the support. Being done with school is a huge thing. Along with the ''new job'' if he would get one already. But it''s so hard these days with the economy......
 
Yeah, and the economy isn''t getting better any time soon. All we can do is save money and wait for our time.
 
I''ll join in with you gals. We talked last summer about getting married in 2009, but I''d be surprised if we''re engaged by the end of 2010! Yeah, I''ll be around awhile. LOL!
 
Yay thanks for starting this thread!! He could surprise me, but I'm thinking end of 2009/beginning of 2010 (when he graduates), or 2012 (when -if- he gets his master's and I have my doctorate). Don't know which it will be! Most likely later. I have a feeling I will be here for a loooong time! I'm glad I will have people to keep me company though!
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ETA: They should call us the LIW3
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Wow, awesome thread! I was starting to feel like I didn''t belong here since I will be waiting between 2 and 5 years. I''ve actually started to feel kind of bitter about it, so its great to see that I''m not as alone as I thought!
 
To be honest, I have never waited for a proposal nor found the pressing need to get married (other than I want to be married before kids). My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and known each other for 12 years. We always knew we would get married but never really felt the pressure to. I knew it wasn''t the right time when we were in school or while he was trying to get his life together. I was actually surprised when he started shopping for a ring last year. We aren''t engaged yet due to "ring issues" but I don''t think an engagement will change anything for us.
 
well im hoping for a 2010 proposal - i was hoping for a 2009 proposal but then, well, we spent all our money travelling so things are looking like being pushed back a fair bit
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sigh, still i know it will happen at some point so thats all i really need right??! that and a whopping big diamond
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Everyone around me is getting married or engaged!

A TON of girls I know from high school are engaged (and I''m only 22!), one of my law school classmates recently got married, several others are engaged, and another classmate very recently got engaged!

Sorry, just needed to vent a little
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Date: 1/10/2009 4:25:51 PM
Author: PrincessLily2009
Wow, awesome thread! I was starting to feel like I didn''t belong here since I will be waiting between 2 and 5 years. I''ve actually started to feel kind of bitter about it, so its great to see that I''m not as alone as I thought!
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Aww, PrincessLily, there''s always space for us! And we get to stretch out and relax. Everybody else is just rushing through (compared to us, lol). But just think...you''ve got years to find the absolute perfect ring (since you''ve already got the guy). I''m in love with everything, so it''s good to have a lot of time. Plus BF is getting more and more educated as the months go by, which is always a good thing.
 
Date: 1/12/2009 8:45:09 PM
Author: Brown.Eyed.Girl
Everyone around me is getting married or engaged!

A TON of girls I know from high school are engaged (and I''m only 22!), one of my law school classmates recently got married, several others are engaged, and another classmate very recently got engaged!

Sorry, just needed to vent a little
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I know how you feel, I feel the same way. And one of my co-workers just got engaged as well. I suppose that the reason for all of the engagements is because of the holidays. I''m thinking that after Valentine''s day there will be fewer engagements.

At first I was sad because of all of the proposals and because mine hasn''t happened yet. But now I''ve just realized that my boyfriend and I are in a different financial situation than the other people who I know who are getting engaged. When I think about that, then it makes me feel better.
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Oh ya, and in regard to this thread, I think that my boyfriend will propose in 2010. Honestly, the only thing that''s holding him back is the fact that he doesn''t have a job and he doesn''t have any money saved. I''m hoping that a year will be enough time for him to find a job and save some money.
 
well, I think I belong here?

BF and I have been together just over 5 years. We aren''t planning to get married until he is finished with school (2010). So, in my head I think a proposal this coming year would be great... plan a wedding... and get married right after he graduates, but I don''t think that is how he thinks about it. ha. So, I should be here a while. :) No need to rush things, right?
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