This is ridiculous.

[ladypirate]

I am normally so low key about the whole engagement thing, but for some reason, even though I know it''s not going to happen, part of me is still hoping that K will surprise me this Christmas with a proposal. I know he won''t. He hasn''t been acting the least suspicious. We''ve discussed timelines and it is not likely to happen until at least next summer, but part of me is still hoping that when he gets his great grandmother''s ring when we''re at his parent''s for Christmas, he''ll just do it right there.

I can''t believe I''m being so irrational about this whole thing--anyone else experiencing similar thoughts?

 

[FrekeChild]

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

I SO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! Only D has been acting a lot suspicious--I keep thinking that it's possible that he could be using "Christmas shopping" as an excuse for him to go places without me, meet up with my best friend randomly (he usually goes to her to help him pick out presents), and other abnormal activities that could have something to do with a certain piece of bling...but he's said so many times that he won't do it until after Comps (in April at the earliest) that I keep trying to beat down my hopes, but THEY WON'T GO AWAY!

I have to say LP, that I think you and I are probably two of the most low key around these here parts (out of the frequent posters) when it comes to engagement, but the past two weeks or so, I can't get it out of my head! (And Gwen too, but she's in a different situation with J being a MIW and all.) So I am really feeling for you. I keep hoping that if he is using Christmas shopping as an excuse, and is trying to arrange to get my stone set...And that he will just get really excited, and just do it when he gets it (and in Vegas would be nice too!) instead of holding out for another 6 months.

And to add to it, I think he's as ready as he's ever going to be. So that makes me question his holding out even more...

ARGH!

And now that I think about it, if K is getting his G-ma's ring, he doesn't have much to act suspicious about. No ring shopping, or ring designing (unless you want something else I guess)...Hmmm....

 

[bubbly1126]

I feel you, ladypirate.

Although I know it's (supposedly) coming by the end of april, I am really starting to get impatient. All I have to say is that if I don't have a ring on my finger by the end of April, it's on! He better not let me down. Especially seeing as HE was the one who set that deadline!

But hang in there. That's all we really can do, right? It'll happen when it's supposed to... (I keep repeating this to myself! haha!)

 

[miss_flo]

me me me! Oh my gosh, this damn proposal season is killing me with every person who''s been dating over 3 flippin'' months getting engaged. Our timeline has us firmly set with a spring proposal next year but I can''t help being angry (yes, I know this makes me a bad LIW) every time I realize that the timeline has absolutely no rhyme or reason. He already saved up the money, we''ve ring shopped literally five times, and we want to get married in two years. I''d love to have a long engagement but he has absolutely no interest in getting engaged early.

Sorry for the hijack, I just wanted to share that I''m totally with you on this.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 11/28/2008 2:08:14 PM
Author: FrekeChild
((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))


I SO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! Only D has been acting a lot suspicious--I keep thinking that it''s possible that he could be using ''Christmas shopping'' as an excuse for him to go places without me, meet up with my best friend randomly (he usually goes to her to help him pick out presents), and other abnormal activities that could have something to do with a certain piece of bling...but he''s said so many times that he won''t do it until after Comps (in April at the earliest) that I keep trying to beat down my hopes, but THEY WON''T GO AWAY!


I have to say LP, that I think you and I are probably two of the most low key around these here parts (out of the frequent posters) when it comes to engagement, but the past two weeks or so, I can''t get it out of my head! (And Gwen too, but she''s in a different situation with J being a MIW and all.) So I am really feeling for you. I keep hoping that if he is using Christmas shopping as an excuse, and is trying to arrange to get my stone set...And that he will just get really excited, and just do it when he gets it (and in Vegas would be nice too!) instead of holding out for another 6 months.


And to add to it, I think he''s as ready as he''s ever going to be. So that makes me question his holding out even more...


ARGH!


And now that I think about it, if K is getting his G-ma''s ring, he doesn''t have much to act suspicious about. No ring shopping, or ring designing (unless you want something else I guess)...Hmmm....

Hmmm indeed! That''s a VERY good point, Freke! Not much for him to do to arouse suspicion, really...

Have you dropped any hints that you''d like a holiday proposal, LP?

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 11/28/2008 2:56:35 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 11/28/2008 2:08:14 PM

Author: FrekeChild

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))



I SO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! Only D has been acting a lot suspicious--I keep thinking that it's possible that he could be using 'Christmas shopping' as an excuse for him to go places without me, meet up with my best friend randomly (he usually goes to her to help him pick out presents), and other abnormal activities that could have something to do with a certain piece of bling...but he's said so many times that he won't do it until after Comps (in April at the earliest) that I keep trying to beat down my hopes, but THEY WON'T GO AWAY!



I have to say LP, that I think you and I are probably two of the most low key around these here parts (out of the frequent posters) when it comes to engagement, but the past two weeks or so, I can't get it out of my head! (And Gwen too, but she's in a different situation with J being a MIW and all.) So I am really feeling for you. I keep hoping that if he is using Christmas shopping as an excuse, and is trying to arrange to get my stone set...And that he will just get really excited, and just do it when he gets it (and in Vegas would be nice too!) instead of holding out for another 6 months.



And to add to it, I think he's as ready as he's ever going to be. So that makes me question his holding out even more...



ARGH!



And now that I think about it, if K is getting his G-ma's ring, he doesn't have much to act suspicious about. No ring shopping, or ring designing (unless you want something else I guess)...Hmmm....

Hmmm indeed! That's a VERY good point, Freke! Not much for him to do to arouse suspicion, really...


Have you dropped any hints that you'd like a holiday proposal, LP?

I may have dropped a few over the last couple of weeks.

I also said that I would be totally fine with getting the ring as is and resetting it later if we decided that's what we wanted to do. He seemed to think we should get it reset first.

Freke, *Hugs Back*. I'm glad you know how I feel. It's like, even though I am ok with not getting engaged for a little while yet, this voice in the back of my head goes "oh, but it would be so perfect to do it with his family there so that his grandma could see the ring passed on." I think part of it is that his grandma was in the hospital for a couple of weeks not too long ago and even though she's out now, we don't know how long she has left. Kris has told her that we're planning on getting engaged, but it'd be nice if she could see it before she goes. I really doubt he's going to do it though, especially as he's already said that he wouldn't propose at a holiday.

inhisarms, I'm sure it'll happen by April. And hey, it's not that far off, right? (That's what I keep telling myself!)

news_girl, it is weird how guys get it in their heads that they have to follow a certain timeline just because. I guess it's because they feel like the proposal is what they have control over, so they want to drag it out as long as possible? I told Kris that if he drags his heels for too long, I'm going to propose to him!

 

[laughwithme]

ladypirate, I totally hear ya on this one. The logical part of my brain says, his savings isn''t there YET and it''s gonna be another few months... but the crazy hopeful part of my brain says, maybe he will decide to just finance the rest of the ring!

Tonight, we went to the liquor store with his mom to get wine for dinner, and he said he wanted a bottle of champagne - champagne??? I was like, what''s the occasion? He said ah nothing. But he actually bought it so I guess we''ll see if he totally surprises me! Hah, right. Those little things make me freak out, and it''s really ridiculous.

So yep, I totally hear ya!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 11/28/2008 7:06:10 PM
Author: laughwithme
ladypirate, I totally hear ya on this one. The logical part of my brain says, his savings isn''t there YET and it''s gonna be another few months... but the crazy hopeful part of my brain says, maybe he will decide to just finance the rest of the ring!

Tonight, we went to the liquor store with his mom to get wine for dinner, and he said he wanted a bottle of champagne - champagne??? I was like, what''s the occasion? He said ah nothing. But he actually bought it so I guess we''ll see if he totally surprises me! Hah, right. Those little things make me freak out, and it''s really ridiculous.

So yep, I totally hear ya!

LOL, this is funny. SO loves champagne (or sparkling wine) and drinks it all the time. We had bubbly last night for no reason, and we usually do, or use it for mimosas. I never even thought about that being a clue, hehe.

***DUST FOR YOU!!!***

 

[ladypirate]

Laughwithme, that sounds promising!!! *DUSTS*

trillionaire, we love champagne too. What type do you drink? Our favorite is Schramsberg Blanc de Blanc for ~$25 at TJ''s, but we also enjoy a nice prosecco on occasion.

So my new idea is that I need to get a friend to tell Kris he should think about proposing at Christmas. Maybe the one who''s getting married next summer...

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 11/28/2008 8:38:42 PM
Author: ladypirate
Laughwithme, that sounds promising!!! *DUSTS*

trillionaire, we love champagne too. What type do you drink? Our favorite is Schramsberg Blanc de Blanc for ~$25 at TJ''s, but we also enjoy a nice prosecco on occasion.

So my new idea is that I need to get a friend to tell Kris he should think about proposing at Christmas. Maybe the one who''s getting married next summer...

I actually like demi-secs (funny, because I despise sweet wines!), so Moet''s Nectar Imperial is my fav. There is also an amazing peach champagne that I got at TJ''s in CA that I still swoon about, and it was $5!!! They don''t sell it at my TJ''s

I don''t remember it being very sweet, but it was wonderful! SO likes bruts and extra dry, I will have to ask him his fav. I drink whatever he gets... lol!

 

[radiantquest]

it keeps you excited. just dont be too bummed when it doesnt happen. it will be worth the wait

 

[Blackpaw]

Sigh, Im EXACTLY the same at the moment, even though i know that a proposal is a long way off (cursed exchange rates

) and that SO will include me on the ring design, i keep thinking "oh wouldnt a christmas proposal be lovely - especially as this is our first ever White Christmas

When our engagement plans got delayed i was pretty disappointed at first, but lately i havent been worrying about it all, just happy to know its going to happen, and ive been even planning vacations that will delay it longer (trips before rings with me

). But something about the holidays just makes me romantically inclined i guess...pity SO isnt the same

Laughwithme i love your champagne story - and may i recommend to all you lovely ladies in the same boat, the humble but classic bellini to get us through the holiday proposal season - it''ll be our turns soon enough after all

 

[Blackpaw]

ladypirate im also all for this new plan

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 11/28/2008 6:22:26 PM
Author: ladypirate
I may have dropped a few over the last couple of weeks.

I also said that I would be totally fine with getting the ring as is and resetting it later if we decided that''s what we wanted to do. He seemed to think we should get it reset first.

Hmmm...maybe that''s how he could be trying to throw you off? By telling you he wants to wait to reset it, when in fact he''d be fine proposing with the ring as is? Dunno...on the one hand, I don''t want to get your hopes up because it''ll make me sad to hear of your disappointment over the holidays if it doesn''t happen, but on the other hand, I get the feeling (from what you''ve written about him) that Kris doesn''t miss much, and also loves you a bits, so maybe he''s picked up on your hints and has something in store...?

Dunno, sweetie, but I am wishing you all the best and am going to throw some subliminal suggestions his way!

 

[ladypirate]

So K and I had a chat last night and I''m pretty sure he''s not going to propose at Christmas. He''s pretty set on having the ring be perfect before he proposes with it, which means that it will be at least a few months after the holidays.

He also said that I could wear my claddagh ring (that I always wear on my right hand) on my left if that would make me feel better. I said that I didn''t see the point since we weren''t engaged and I didn''t want to pretend we were. So then he asked if I''d marry him. *headdesk* He said to think of it as a "pre-proposal", since the only thing we''re waiting on is the ring.

I know he was trying to make me feel better, but it just made it worse. I guess I''m frustrated because we''ve already decided we''re going to get married, but I can''t really go around telling people that because we''re not officially engaged. It makes it worse when people keep asking me when we''re going to get married. And now that he did that last night, I feel even more torn/confused. If I wore my ring on my left hand, what would I say if people asked if we were engaged? "Oh, well...uh...we''re pre-engaged?" That sounds so ridiculous. Plus, I don''t care if he does want to propose with a sterling silver ring, but I don''t want it to be the one my parents gave me when I was sixteen. It just has too many associations with it already. I wore this ring when I was dating all my previous boyfriends as well, I don''t want it to be my engagement ring (even temporarily).

I also can''t understand why he''d be ok with having a temporary engagement ring, but not with me wearing the ring he''s getting from his grandmother in it''s original setting until we can get it re-set. It seems like the same thing to me. I think it''s because even though he was all set to propose with my claddagh ring, he wouldn''t think of it as an actual engagement ring because he didn''t give it to me. I think that''s part of why it upset me so much. It was like "here, I know you''re upset, so have a band-aid to try and make it feel better." I appreciate that he was trying to be romantic, and maybe I should just accept that as my proposal and move on. I guess I just don''t want to associate getting engaged with being in tears (unless they''re happy tears), and every time I start thinking about our conversation last night, I start crying again.

Sorry for venting, and I''m sorry if I sound completely selfish or ungrateful here. I appreciate that I have a man who loves me completely, and I really shouldn''t let this get to me. I just don''t think he understands that I don''t want to be "pre-engaged" or "secretly engaged" or whatever, I want to be actually engaged. Last night, I ended up telling him that I didn''t want to wear a ring on my left hand until it was an engagement ring. I really don''t think he gets why.

 

[prettylnpink419]

Ladypirate-- I am completely understand. My BF basically did that same thing. We had this long talk about how he was promising to marry me and essentially proposing but without the ring but we aren''t technically engaged until there is a ring and he can''t afford a ring right now. I told him I didn''t need a ring, but he is very traditional in the sense that he wants to do the ring thing. Confused yet? I was. We actually ended up getting into a fight about it...stupid I know b/c he was he was trying to be sweet and completely open up to me but at the same time all I was hearing was the same things he always says, so nothing different and he expected this great reaction. He was hurt and said that it made him wonder how I''d really act if he did have a ring, blah blah blah....to me though, those conversations would have been completely different!

I can completely relate but just try to hang in there. At least you know it''s coming eventually. Just try to stay calm, take it all in, you''ll never get this time back. Just think in 20 years you''ll think back to how silly it all was!

 

[Bia]

Ladypirate, I totally understand. I am having a really hard time with this too. My BF always says how much he wants to marry me but all I can think is, "less talk, more action buddy!"

I am guilty of thinking maybe a pre or post Thanksgiving proposal, since I knew we'd have so many great opportunities this past weekend, but obviously, NADA. I am so happy for all the LIW who did get their holiday proposal but a part of me feels like its not happening for me and I hate that I'm not as excited about the holidays in general because I am so preoccupied thinking about an engagement.

I know this isn't advice but I just want you to know that you're not alone. A proposal will happen for you, so please don't be too upset it might not happen for the holidays. I'll try to take my own advice too

(((((hugsss)))))

 

[jcarlylew82]

Date: 11/28/2008 1:29:01 PM
Author:ladypirate
I am normally so low key about the whole engagement thing, but for some reason, even though I know it''s not going to happen, part of me is still hoping that K will surprise me this Christmas with a proposal. I know he won''t. He hasn''t been acting the least suspicious. We''ve discussed timelines and it is not likely to happen until at least next summer, but part of me is still hoping that when he gets his great grandmother''s ring when we''re at his parent''s for Christmas, he''ll just do it right there.


I can''t believe I''m being so irrational about this whole thing--anyone else experiencing similar thoughts?

oh my! i just mentioned to my friend how i am kinda annoyed that E will not ask until the ring is paid off (well duh,) but i know he is only making min. payments. and i honestly know that he still loves me, and he will ask. i just hate having to wait.

and of course he sends me a super sweet text just to say hi.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Hey ladypirate - I know how much this sucks! It may not help to know but ... it is worth the wait. This time is so charged with anticipation and excitement so, although annoying and frustrating, it some ways it can be kind of fun.

Fi and I dated for 14 years before he proposed and I knew that it had to be coming and even that the ring was finished but he waited like 4 months before even asking. Very annoying. I had doubts and wondered if he was having second thoughts and started getting a little bit crazy. He just wanted to make it perfect and do it when he thought the time was perfect.

You know he loves you ... hang in there and try to enjoy this time, as aggravating as it may sometimes be!!