shape
carat
color
clarity

the walk down the aisle

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
who should walk me down the aisle? i''m stumped with this decision so i thought i''d ask for some feedback on this issue.

no dad in picture, so that''s out. here are the choices, though i''m sure there are more!

grandpa.
uncle. (god-father)
solo.

let me give you some background... i always thought it''d be my grandpa that i''d ask. he''s the only real male that''s been in my life growing up. i always adored him although he''s such a manly man, he''d never know it. i see a different side of him now, though. drinking. it''s like he has to drink to be social. and it/he makes EVERYONE in the room uncomfortable. it''s become an issue and no one wants to confront him. it sorta makes me sick.

my uncle never was around much growing up. he always worked over seas.

my cousin (who''s hosting the wedding and is like a mom to me) said that she always pictured me walking solo. she even went as far as to say it''s the dress that''s so wide (yeh, whatever, it''s an a-line) that whoever walks with you is going to step all over it, therefore it should me me solo down that aisle. I mean come on!

and i asked my grandpa and uncle to get fitted for tuxes because like the grandparents and moms i''m having my aunt, mom, uncle, cousin and grandparents walk in the wedding prior to the bridesmaids. well everyone thought by that i meant that my uncle was walking me down the aisle and my GP was going to be the back up in case my uncle was working over seas. come on family! get it together, i NEVER said anything about me and that aisle. urgh.

thoughts?
 

robbie3982

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
3,960
What about having your mother walk you down the aisle? In the jewish religion both parents walk the bride down the aisle. In some types of judaism, the mother and future mother-in-law walk the bride and the dads walk the groom.

If you don''t really have anyone you want to walk you down though, you could always go solo.
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
nope. mom''s out. long story i guess.
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
I attended a wedding recently where the bride & groom walked down together. I thought it was very sweet & moving & represented them being partners in the idea of becoming one ... rather than the traditional "presentation of the bride".

Or ... your Mom?

Though - I might go with Grandpa if you''ve always pictured that ... if you think he won''t be absolutely sloshed during the ceremony ... what''s gonna happen afterwards is gonna happen anyway ... I doubt anyone will view it differently or as a *condoning* of his drinking by him walking you down the aisle. He doesn''t have to give toast or whatever afterwards ... just that few feet walk??
2.gif


Whatever you choose to do ... accompanied or fabulously solo --- you''re gonna look STUNNING in that gorgeous dress with the aura of total love all around you!
36.gif
 

Miranda

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
Messages
4,101
It''s sort of unconventional, but, are you close to your mother? What about her? Or your cousin that you are close to and is hosting the wedding? It doesn''t have to be a man. You could go solo, but, it''s nice to have someone with you (for support) while you walk down the aisle. Good luck!
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
awe deco, you always know what to say to make a girl feel pretty!

well, we are having a catholic ceremoy and it''s kinda strict. FI and I probably wouldn''t be allowed to walk up together.
yes, mom, cousin, aunt and grandma could all be contenders. but, i don''t think i''d chose them over my grandpa or uncle.

basically, my mom and i aren''t close- at all. so she''s out. if i''d ask my cousin, my mom would be TOTALLY hurt.
and i mention my grandma b/c i always thought (before the drinking problem) if my grandfather wouldn''t be around, i''d ask my grandma because she''s awesome.
 

mercoledi

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 20, 2006
Messages
2,822
What about having your grandma and grandpa? Will that temper the situation for you?
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
i am worried that something with my GP will happen at the reception. maybe it'll just be at the table that he's sitting at though, and no one else will notice? ah, who knows.

no toasting is involved at the wedding. usually that's done at the rehearsal dinner. (where i'm from)
 

labbielove

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
862
i haven''t read all replies so maybe it already came up,
but how about solo part way and joined by future hubby for the rest as you approach the officiant together?

i had considered this since i don''t really like the concept of being "given away"
the symbolism is nice- you are independent and have joined with a partner for the rest of the journey (of life, or down the aisle in this case!lol)

whatever you decide it should be for the right reasons and not to make anyone else happy or to fulfill some expectations of your family.
good luck.
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
and i guess, part of me is scared to walk all alone down the long cathedral aisle.
 

jas

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,991
Hey JCrow -- what a hard situation to be in...

Would you consider a female relative...someone who symbolically has "walked" with you in life up until this time and is now going to...not "give" you away, but lead you to your spouse, who will also walk with you?

A sister? Cousin? Your maid of honor?
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
If you think your grandpa can handle it, I''d ask him. If not, I''d go solo. I know it seems intimidating walking down that long ole aisle by yourself, but I see nothing else more moving than a beautiful, strong gal like you making her last walk down the aisle as a single gal, walking up to meet the man she loves.
1.gif
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
Date: 9/18/2006 5:29:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
If you think your grandpa can handle it, I''d ask him. If not, I''d go solo. I know it seems intimidating walking down that long ole aisle by yourself, but I see nothing else more moving than a beautiful, strong gal like you making her last walk down the aisle as a single gal, walking up to meet the man she loves.
1.gif
oh, he can handle it. he probably won''t crack a smile through the whole thing, but he''ll handle it.

guess i can ask FI his thoughts on the aisle walk too...
 

curlygirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2005
Messages
2,637
I think you in that stunning dress walking down the aisle solo would be so incredibly moving and dramatic! It''s funny because I had both my parents walk me down the aisle and my mother almost didn''t do it because she said another woman would take the attention away from me. But I think coming down the aisle alone would be sooooo classy and elegant! Don''t be scared--all eyes are going to be on you the entire day so you have to get used to the idea! I also like the idea of FI meeting you halfway so it won''t be such a long walk by yourself...
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
guess too, that i don''t want people feeling sorry for me cause i''m a loner down the aisle? or am i crazy?
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Date: 9/18/2006 5:44:21 PM
Author: curlygirl
I think you in that stunning dress walking down the aisle solo would be so incredibly moving and dramatic! It''s funny because I had both my parents walk me down the aisle and my mother almost didn''t do it because she said another woman would take the attention away from me. But I think coming down the aisle alone would be sooooo classy and elegant! Don''t be scared--all eyes are going to be on you the entire day so you have to get used to the idea! I also like the idea of FI meeting you halfway so it won''t be such a long walk by yourself...
Oh, I like that idea. Wouldn''t it be romantic if halfway there, he stepped away to come meet you and walk the rest of the way with you? Untraditional yes, but it''s got some appeal....
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
i''m liking this. and it may work with the cathedral since i think the groomsmen already meet the girls halfway since the aisle is soooo long. i''ll talk it over with FI tonight.
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,041
Date: 9/18/2006 5:01:22 PM
Author: jcrow
and i guess, part of me is scared to walk all alone down the long cathedral aisle.

I agree. I had a long outside walk and honestly probably would have fallen if I had to walk it alone. Plus it is nice to have someone to make you laugh if you think you might get emotional. I wouldn''t advise walking alone. Just choose the man you are closest with.
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
Date: 9/18/2006 5:51:45 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 9/18/2006 5:01:22 PM
Author: jcrow
and i guess, part of me is scared to walk all alone down the long cathedral aisle.

I agree. I had a long outside walk and honestly probably would have fallen if I had to walk it alone. Plus it is nice to have someone to make you laugh if you think you might get emotional. I wouldn''t advise walking alone. Just choose the man you are closest with.
ha, that''d be FI.
9.gif
i guess that''s my problem.
7.gif
 

gingerBcookie

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 13, 2004
Messages
1,858
i love the idea of you solo and him meeting you halfway....very romantic. with you in your dress, everyone''s eyes are gonna be glued on you anyway, noone''s gonna notice anyone walking next to you!
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,041
Well besides your Fi of course. Are you close to your FFIL? Or any male friends/cousins? I think it would be very sweet for you to walk with your grandfather.
 

ChargerGrrl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
2,865
Date: 9/18/2006 6:06:32 PM
Author: gingerBcookie
i love the idea of you solo and him meeting you halfway....very romantic. with you in your dress, everyone''s eyes are gonna be glued on you anyway, noone''s gonna notice anyone walking next to you!
That''s what I was just about to post.

All eyes will be on YOU, and no one will notice if you do it solo for part of it.
 

ammayernyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 23, 2004
Messages
1,268
I think I''ve decided not to have a traditional ceremony, but here are some ideas that I thought about

1. Walk down solo. All the women in my life, friends, family, etc. each stand at the side of the aisle. Each person is holding a flower. As I pass them, they hand me their flower. By the time I would get to the front, I would have my bouquet.

2. Walk down solo and have the groom be standing about 3/4 of the way down. We meet up and walk down the rest of the way together.
 

firebirdgold

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
Messages
2,216
I say have your grandfather walk you down the aisle. If your grandmother is his wife, then make it her job to be sure he doesn''t take a too many swigs of courage! He''s going to be at the wedding anyway, so what ever he''ll do he''ll do anyway, so don''t worry about it. Just as long as it''s after the cermony! People get... happy at weddings, it''s practially expected.
31.gif
 

WTNLVR

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2005
Messages
623
Date: 9/18/2006 7:00:58 PM
Author: IndieJones
I say have your grandfather walk you down the aisle. If your grandmother is his wife, then make it her job to be sure he doesn''t take a too many swigs of courage! He''s going to be at the wedding anyway, so what ever he''ll do he''ll do anyway, so don''t worry about it. Just as long as it''s after the cermony! People get... happy at weddings, it''s practially expected.
31.gif
I agree with this totally. Your grandmother needs to make sure grandpa doesn''t drink before the ceremony. Is it a morning wedding? I had the same issue as my dad passed away prior to my wedding after a long illness. I was lucky to have my uncle who I was somewhat close too. Had I not, I likely would have asked my brother who I''m not really close to (due to age difference). I just liked the tradition of walking down with someone. But, if push came to shove, I would have walked down alone no problem. I do like the idea above of walking down alone and being passed the flowers. It might just be awkward trying to explain to nosey guests why your grandfather didn''t do the honors.
 

ocbride2007

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
191
Date: 9/18/2006 4:42:25 PM
Author: jcrow
awe deco, you always know what to say to make a girl feel pretty!

well, we are having a catholic ceremoy and it''s kinda strict. FI and I probably wouldn''t be allowed to walk up together.
yes, mom, cousin, aunt and grandma could all be contenders. but, i don''t think i''d chose them over my grandpa or uncle.

basically, my mom and i aren''t close- at all. so she''s out. if i''d ask my cousin, my mom would be TOTALLY hurt.
and i mention my grandma b/c i always thought (before the drinking problem) if my grandfather wouldn''t be around, i''d ask my grandma because she''s awesome.
I''ve been to several catholic weddings, and have been in one with a very strict priest (wouldn''t let the couple kiss at church) and every one of them let the bride and groom walk down together. I have only seen one wedding where the bride was given away. If this is something you want, just ask your priest, it may not be a problem.

I won''t have a father to give me away either, and if I decided I wanted someone to, I would ask my grandpa. However, I think we''ll walk down together ;-)

So if you want to ask your grandfather, go ahead! Ask whoever you like. The meeting halfway thing sounds great too... you still get to make your dramatic entrance!
 

eks6426

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
2,011
I like the idea of you walking solo 1/2 way or so then your FI meeting you.

But a totally different idea I have seen done is the bride walking down with her MOH. Different, but who better than to make you laugh than your best female friend?

Either way, you''re going to be gorgeous and no one will be feeling sorry for you...they''ll be in awe.
 

aquarius_ser

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 12, 2006
Messages
269
I have often thought of this situation myself in the past few years, due to my father being diagnosed with lung cancer, I wasn''t sure if he would be around to walk me down the aisle (TG he is)...

I had made the decision to walk solo if my father passed.

I never thought about the FH meeting about 3/4 of the way, that would be nice....
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
Date: 9/18/2006 8:07:21 PM
Author: WTNLVR

Date: 9/18/2006 7:00:58 PM
Author: IndieJones
I say have your grandfather walk you down the aisle. If your grandmother is his wife, then make it her job to be sure he doesn''t take a too many swigs of courage! He''s going to be at the wedding anyway, so what ever he''ll do he''ll do anyway, so don''t worry about it. Just as long as it''s after the cermony! People get... happy at weddings, it''s practially expected.
31.gif
I agree with this totally. Your grandmother needs to make sure grandpa doesn''t drink before the ceremony. Is it a morning wedding? I had the same issue as my dad passed away prior to my wedding after a long illness. I was lucky to have my uncle who I was somewhat close too. Had I not, I likely would have asked my brother who I''m not really close to (due to age difference). I just liked the tradition of walking down with someone. But, if push came to shove, I would have walked down alone no problem. I do like the idea above of walking down alone and being passed the flowers. It might just be awkward trying to explain to nosey guests why your grandfather didn''t do the honors.
it''s an early afternoon wedding. i''m not worried about the drinking behavior before the ceremony. but, i am worried about it the night before at the rehearsal dinner and that night at the wedding reception.
 

appletini

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 29, 2004
Messages
2,696
I like the FI meeting you idea, but here''s another idea. I grew up with my grandma (dad''s side), so she basically is more my mom than my real mother. I had my grandma walk me down the aisle, and then during the ceremony the minister had the families stand up and give us away. Then instead of the bride & father dance, I danced with my grandfather (mom''s side...he''s 95 and still drives and uses email). This way I was able to do something special with both of them, plus I''m not close with my parents and wasn''t raised by them, so no hurt feelings.
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results
Top