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The orange cat

Imdanny

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SO and I have one inside cat.

I had decided I was ready to get a bird. SO didn't want a bird (he said I could have one, but I never succeeded in actually convincing him).

We compromised after I said, "How about we get a cat?" He was into that idea.

We got our cat as a nine week old kitten at the shelter. She turned out to be an Egyptian Mau according to the CFA breed standards list. Who knew?

They had shaved her belly for surgery and you could clearly see the spots on her skin, but at the time I didn't know from an Egyptian Mau. I'd never heard of that breed.

We saw a YouTube video, "The Mean Kitty Song" or something like that, and this guy had an Egyptian Mau. We thought, "Wow, that looks like her." Then we did the research at the CFA site. Sure enough.

We've had our cat for four years. She's got the sweetest temperament. She's very intelligent. She's very loyal, especially to my SO, who is the one who found her, picked her up, and bonded with her in the shelter (the first time he picked her up, she licked his ear, when we came back to get her after doing the paperwork, she was in a room with other kittens where we he found her, and she came running up to meet him at the door). She plays fetch like a dog. She's amazing. We were very lucky.

We moved to a new place about four months ago, and there is an outside cat (who technically has a "home" :rolleyes: ) and he came up to me the first time I saw him, rubbed his face against my feet, and purred very loud. He was very friendly.

Fast forward. I bonded with the orange cat over the these four months. It got so bad that I was doing things like picking up and carrying him around like a baby and feeding him. I can be so dumb. :rolleyes:

There was never any chance that I could bring the orange cat home. None. Not even if I tried. SO would say "No," landlord would say, "Hell no," and our cat could not deal with another pet in the home. No way, no how.

It was about a week ago, our cat started getting totally freaked out. I smelled like the orange cat. She had seen me feed him (I fed him outside and fed her at the same time, but that didn't matter).

Finally, she just got angry. She would sit in there and glare at me.

SO was upset with me.

Something had to be done. I couldn't continue to come home smelling like the orange cat. Cats have a great sense of smell as we all know. She would smell the orange cat and was very unhappy and like I said royally pissed off.

So the next time I saw the orange cat, I said, "Good kitty, good," etc. and I walked away.

I felt so bad for doing that. I walked into the house and started crying. :((

I've only seen once after that, and I did the same thing. This time it didn't upset me as much.

However, last night I started thinking about him, and I wanted to go outside and see him. I didn't. Instead, I started crying again.

SO was very sympathetic this time, and held me, and told me that it was OK, and told me to pick up the cat and love her, because she's mine, and she's "right there."

Instead, I had to get in the car and leave for awhile.

This morning looked at my cat (who was unhappy because I was in a bad mood when I woke up) and thought about it. I thought, she did nothing wrong. It's not even that she didn't do anything wrong, if you know what I mean, she did nothing wrong.

I was scheming to bring the orange cat home (not literally but it was leading to that) and the orange cat wanted me to bring him home. I'd like to say that the orange cat is NOT getting what he needs from his dumb owners who think throwing a little food in a bowl outside is taking care of a cat. Nobody was really paying attention to him except me. He didn't just want to be petted. He didn't just want to be fed. He wanted to be taken care of as an inside cat with someone who spent time with him, held him, talked to him, etc.

So I'm not going out to the street where I would see him anymore because I don't think it's fair to our cat, or to the orange cat, and it would break my heart again.

Anyway, I wanted to share this story because I know a lot of you have cats. The orange cat DESERVES someone to bring him inside and take care care of him. The fact that he had nobody who will do that sucks. I personally think that cats somewhere like where I live with traffic, etc shouldn't be outside, and it makes me very annoyed that his "owners" give so little thought and attention to their cat. :angryfire:

I won't do this again. I should have known better. I have a lot of empathy for animals and over the last few months the whole situation kind of got out of control. Not petting him and walking away from him was one of the hardest things I've done. :blackeye:
 

Madam Bijoux

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The ones you can't bring in always break your heart. I hope he finds a home where he is loved.
 

dragonfly411

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Imdanny - Here's what I'd do. I'd seriously do this. Find a friend who you know would give the cat a GOOD, NURTURING, indoor home. Kidnap orange cat. Deposit to good home. Visit occasionally. Be happy knowing orange cat is in a good home. If the old owners ever ask, you saw an orange cat that had been hit by a car once, and assume that it was removed from the road.

That's just me though.
 

JillyC

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Ah, those orange cats will get you every time! They have very strong personalities, very hard to resist!

I have always heard that it's best to let a cat "choose' you rather than picking one out. You should go with the cat that shows the most interest in you. Seems like the orange one was choosing you! It's too bad you can't keep him, since he does technically have a home and you can't have two cats, but do you think maybe you can feel better thinking that the cat might find another friend to take care of him? That's how some family members of mine acquired their cat, he just showed up on their deck one day and refused to leave!

I know no one like to tick off their cat....in my house if my orange & white guy gets mad he always gets even!
 

Gypsy

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I'd bring him home.

I have 4 cats in the main areas of my house plus Lucy in the guest bedroom because she will NOT integrate. It's been like that for three years. It works and she's happy. So are the others.

Are you sure your SO won't let you bring him home?
 

missy

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That's how we ended up with 4 cats and you know what? I wouldn't have done anything differently. My dh and I love all of our cats and while there was an adjustment period when we brought each new rescue cat home they all adapted and now get along amazingly. I feel for you and it breaks my heart just reading what you and the orange cat have gone through and I wish there was something I could do. Sometimes you just know it is meant to be and that cat is yours but sometimes you just have to do the best you can by the cat and perhaps find him a loving home. Best of luck Danny- my heart goes out to you and this cat!
 

packrat

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Awww that makes me sad Danny. I'm considering bringing home another kitty while JD's on vacation..he knows I want her badly. She's Opilio's sister and I've already named her so it's pretty much a given she's coming here. If I were you I would keep the orange kitty. Maybe if your Mau met the orange kitty she wouldn't be so angry, she wouldn't just be a smell to be suspicious of.

(The kids and I love the Mean Kitty video-I think Sparta is a kick ass name for a kitty)
 

Madam Bijoux

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I had to come back here to say:
I feed several neglected cats in my neighborhood twice a day. I always keep a baggie full of dry cat food in my tote bag. Even though I won't be bringing them home, at least I'm helping them in a small way. I say keep feeding that orange fellow even though you can't bring him home. You will make his life a bit better.
 

Gypsy

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Madam Bijoux|1317679792|3032372 said:
I had to come back here to say:
I feed several neglected cats in my neighborhood twice a day. I always keep a baggie full of dry cat food in my tote bag. Even though I won't be bringing them home, at least I'm helping them in a small way. I say keep feeding that orange fellow even though you can't bring him home. You will make his life a bit better.

I agree with this. I also have put out large plastic storage bins with lids, upside down on the ground with a hold cut in the side and plenty o food and water inside and some old towels for shelter for feral cats and find that helps.

Are you sure you can't bring him home and just tell the neighbors that he's gone?
 

JewelFreak

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Danny, do what Dragonfly says. Find somebody who needs a cat (you'll know!) & put Orange Kitty in a crate & take him there. If you can't get SO to keep him, that is. You will feel so happy knowing he's safe & loved. Don't worry about his "owners," who sure don't worry about him. You'll be saving his life -- more important than "ownership." I've done the same with 3 dogs left outside day & night by my next-door neighbors, winter & summer, no vet care, running loose where we have coyotes, foxes, birds of prey & cars & dogs. One was a tiny Pomeranian, for pete's sake, cried at everyone's door to come in -- I loaded him up & gave him to someone wonderful. There are things that are more right than society's norms.

Your story made me almost choke up. I've done exactly that myself. You're a lovely sensitive guy. If you look for the right place for Orange Kitty, you will find it. There's a reason he found you. Sometimes these things are meant to be.

--- Laurie
 

lulu

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Ditto what Dragonfly said. I've kidnapped neglected animals before and rehomed them. Are you sure your cat wouldn't get along with orange cat?

I know how you feel-I've been there.
 

Maria D

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Wow, I am stunned! I can't believe people think it's OK to kidnap a cat they think is neglected when they know it has a home. I'm not going to get into an argument about letting cats outdoors but I'll just say that there are plenty of reasonable people who love their cats that allow them out. In fact, it's the norm in many places. My cats go outside and a couple of them are super friendly. They are not neglected, they are well loved, well fed and given regular veterinary care. It is heartbreaking to think that someone might move here and kidnap my cat and (shudder) rehome it!
 

Echidna

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Maria D|1317685363|3032463 said:
Wow, I am stunned! I can't believe people think it's OK to kidnap a cat they think is neglected when they know it has a home. I'm not going to get into an argument about letting cats outdoors but I'll just say that there are plenty of reasonable people who love their cats that allow them out. In fact, it's the norm in many places. My cats go outside and a couple of them are super friendly. They are not neglected, they are well loved, well fed and given regular veterinary care. It is heartbreaking to think that someone might move here and kidnap my cat and (shudder) rehome it!
I agree, Maria. Well said.
 

missy

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Maria, according to Danny his owners are being neglectful at best and abusive at worst. In addition they allow their cat to remain outside where there is traffic and goodness knows what else. The thing is, for children there are agencies/people you can call to protect them but nothing really exists for the safety/protection of animals.

Your cats are in a loving and caring home so it is not the same thing. Sounds like this orange cat is not taken care of/well fed etc and he is starved for love and attention.

Animals have absolutely no rights in this country and are treated as property basically. A real travesty IMO. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying it is OK to kidnap someone else's pet unless there is good reason. And since there is no one who protects the rights of animals in this country what would you do if you saw an abused animal? There is more than one form of abuse btw just as there is with people. Animals are living beings and deserve respect and love.

Btw, I am not going to get into an argument either about letting pets outside but facts are that outdoor animals have much shorter life spans than indoor animals. These animals have been domesticated and are not like their predecessors who wanted and needed to be outdoors. Domestic cats/dogs are bred to be indoor animals. But again, I am not going to argue about it as that is really not the point of this thread. It is about getting an animal into a loving and safe home with people who won't be neglectful and endanger his life. Everyone deserves that, don't you think?
 

yssie

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:(sad What a sad story, Danny.


Do you have a basement or second bedroom or somewhere where Orange Cat could camp out while you introduce them (slowly!), if you do decide you want to bring him/her in afterall?

My story: one of our two original cats was just like your Mau - wanted nothing to do with the stray we kept in our bedroom for two months. When we found her she was apparently days from delivering a litter, the vet aborted and told us she would have an easier recovery in a quiet home, we took her back to the apt with us and tried to find her a home.. I secretly hoped we'd fail after the first week. Lo and behold, we failed. Which left us with the problem of one *very* unhappy 15lb boy.

We introduced them very slowly - touched Mina and didn't wash our hands before going about our business outside the bedroom, stopped changing our clothes between rooms, then finally let them see each other through two screens, took one of the screens away... all for nought as it turned out, she slipped around one one day and escaped into the living room, and all three just ignored each other! Since there was no bloodshed we let them explore... three weeks or so later they were all cuddling together, grooming each other...

No, it won't work for all cats. But poor initial reactions are pretty much a given, and don't necessarily indicate they won't ever be able to get along ::)
 

Amys Bling

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awww, so sad. I am such a cat lover myself and would loe to save and bring home every neglected animal :blackeye:

I say keep supplementing the orange cat's food. at least you can give the cat the nourishment it needs in terms of food even if you can't take the cat home..
 

missy

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It occurs to me that we did go through a similar situation with our most recent (and last) adopted cat Tommy. He was being kept as a "mouser" in the basement of the building I work in part time. The owner of the building was the cat's owner and he was keeping him there 24/7 to scare away mice. :(( Tommy was in a cold dark and solitary environment with too little food/clean water and barely any attention/love at all.

I was so upset when I found out and my dh and I used to go to the building on the weekends to feed him and spend time with him. After a month or so I just couldn't sleep thinking of poor Tommy down in that dark/dirty/cold basement all alone. At work the next week I begged the super to let me take him to a local veterinarian and get him checked out and neutered. Finally he allowed me to do so and I had him checked. He had worms but other than that he was OK.

I called the super and asked him to please let me adopt him (I had been working towards this end for weeks btw- sweet talking the super etc with the hopes he would take pity on dear Tommy and allow me to rescue him). The super already knew what was coming and told me to keep him and that he would tell the owner that Tommy escaped. Do I feel badly about him lying to the owner? Not a damn bit. Tommy was an abused cat kept in horrid conditions I can only compare to concentration camp victims and no living creature deserves that kind of treatment.

I had already gotten a home lined up for him as we already had 3 and my dh is allergic (though his allergy shots really are working well) but my dh and I had already fallen in love with Tommy and when my husband asked if I wanted for us to keep him, well, we already knew Tommy was meant to be our family.

I do not apologize for rescuing him and lying to his owner in order to give him a good life. I only wish there were more resources available so every stray and abused animal could have a loving home.


ETA: I couldn't resist adding a pic of our darling Tommy. He's the one on the right (Francesca is on the left).

P1010005.JPG
 

yssie

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Tommy is lucky to have you and your DH missy - what a handsome guy!


Some people.. :nono:
 

Maria D

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missy|1317686043|3032481 said:
Maria, according to Danny his owners are being neglectful at best and abusive at worst. In addition they allow their cat to remain outside where there is traffic and goodness knows what else. The thing is, for children there are agencies/people you can call to protect them but nothing really exists for the safety/protection of animals.

Your cats are in a loving and caring home so it is not the same thing. Sounds like this orange cat is not taken care of/well fed etc and he is starved for love and attention.

Animals have absolutely no rights in this country and are treated as property basically. A real travesty IMO. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying it is OK to kidnap someone else's pet unless there is good reason. And since there is no one who protects the rights of animals in this country what would you do if you saw an abused animal? There is more than one form of abuse btw just as there is with people. Animals are living beings and deserve respect and love.

Btw, I am not going to get into an argument either about letting pets outside but facts are that outdoor animals have much shorter life spans than indoor animals. These animals have been domesticated and are not like their predecessors who wanted and needed to be outdoors. Domestic cats/dogs are bred to be indoor animals. But again, I am not going to argue about it as that is really not the point of this thread. It is about getting an animal into a loving and safe home with people who won't be neglectful and endanger his life. Everyone deserves that, don't you think?
Missy, I don't know what Danny considers "traffic" and "neglect." He feels his neighborhood is not safe for an outdoor cat and he may very well be right. But the bottom line is that Danny did not kidnap/rehome a cat -- yet others here who are not in his neighborhood and can't see for themselves what the situation is are encouraging him to do so and saying that they have done that very thing! I feel that my own neighborhood is safe for outdoor cats even though there's a street with cars traveling on it. I've been living here for many years with my indoor/outdoor cats so experience validates that practice -- but it's my call to make, not some neighbor's who may have other ideas.

You say that you are not going to get into an argument either, but you are basically starting one in your last paragraph. The facts are what they are, but whether or not a cat needs to be outdoors is purely your opinion and I welcome you to make it for your own cats. I love my daughter even more than I love my cats but I let her out unsupervised. I go out myself. There's risk out there, but I'm willing to take it!
 

lulu

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Maria-one kitten I kidnapped had a broken leg and the "owner" set the leg herself to avoid a vet visit.With a twig and duct tape. I found him a vet and a great new home. No regrets.

My cats go outside too as I'm in a rural area and I have no fear someone will think they're neglected. But many animals are neglected and they need our help.
 

Gypsy

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No cat I've ever met has turned down gratuitous food. Even feral cats can be brought to show themselves with some tuna. Mine love anything that's DIFFERENT, no matter the fact that I free feed dry and they are all slightly portly (except Duncan). You offer any domesticated cat food... they're your friend for as long as you feed them. And some cats love people. ADORE THEM and can't get enough of them... even if they are in already loving households.

I don't know what criteria Danny is using to judge the condition of the orange cat, and you are right Maria it's not okay to kidnap an animal until you are sure.

I've BEEN sure and have kidnapped animals. The first one I kidnapped had been sweet as pie and then turned skittish, and I was wondering why. One night I was walking our dog and I saw the teenager whose family owned the cat kick it in the ribs and send the cat flying. I ran home with the dog, got her put inside. And spent four hours getting the poor cat to trust me and come to me... I took her to the emergency vet and the vet there felt so sorry that she didn't charge me for her time... just supplies. I was volunteering at a no-kill shelter so I took her directly there from the vet. It took her MONTHS in a foster home to trust again. And even then the foster adopted her cause she only trusted a few people. It broke my heart. So yes, I have NO issue with kidnapping cats, when I know it is the right thing to do. And if I do kidnap one, you'll have to trust that I know what I am doing.


Danny, how do you know the orange cat is being neglected and isn't just an overly social (or just a cat who has taken to YOU) and greedy cat food eating out door cat?

As for your kitty and her fits. Don't turn away from the orange cat. If you give your own lady love and attention she'll realize the orange cat isn't a threat and will get used to the smells. The orange cat doesn't understand why his friend doesn't love him anymore, and that's not right either.
 

Imdanny

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Maria, you are completely missing the point. Others have used the word "kidnap" and you introduced the word "re-home." Regardless, everyone else meant RESCUE.

You say you're willing to take the risk of going outdoors. No, you've decided to subject your cat to the risk. There's a difference.

No cat is safe in traffic, period. They get run over every day in the street. I drive by dead cats every day. If cats could navigate traffic, they would not be dead in the street every day.

I feel that you made your post unnecessary personal by talking about how someone might "move into" your neighborhood. Clearly, you are referring to my OP.

You've painted me as some kind of outsider/ villain and that's kind of interesting in light of the fact that the "moved into the neighborhood four months ago" part of my OP is the only part of my post it seems you understood.

I'm not coming to get your cat. The people who go around taking cats to sell them to labs, they might be.

Not every cat, in fact, that has an "owner" has a responsible "owner."

The cat I'm talking about is an outside cat and hasn't even been fixed, so please don't project yourself onto this cat's "owner."
 

Imdanny

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Everyone, thanks. I'll have a lot more to say but right now I'm on my iPhone, my data plan is metered, and I'll have to wait until I get home to continue. Thanks for understanding.
 

missy

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The facts are what they are, but whether or not a cat needs to be outdoors is purely your opinion and I welcome you to make it for your own cats. I love my daughter even more than I love my cats but I let her out unsupervised. I go out myself. There's risk out there, but I'm willing to take it!
Maria, your statement is sort of funny. :confused: Are you equating allowing a thinking human being (your daughter or you LOL) who has a more complex brain and thinking process to a cat who is helpless in almost every way? Would you allow your 3 year old daughter out by herself? Cats are not as intelligent as human beings and that is why they have been taken advantage of in so many ways by people throughout time. As much as you may love your cats I don't think you can compare them to how you raise your child. ::)


For those who are interested:
http://www.cat-world.com.au/indoor-vs-outdoor-cats
http://maxshouse.com/outdoor_risks.htm
http://www.runway.net/b/moonmaid/in-or-out.html
http://cats.about.com/od/indoorsvsoutdoors/Indoors_VS_Outdoors_Cats_Really_Are_Safer_Inside.htm


ETA: Awww, thanks Yssie! We love them all so much and feel like the lucky ones! I love your avatar btw!
 

Lottie

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ImDanny have you ever met Orange cats owners? I wonder if you could have a little word in their ear about what a nice cat he is and how he seems to crave attention and extra food - maybe it would make them think more about what they provide for him or, even embarass them into raising standards a little. I am always amazed and cross when owners do not get their outside cats neutered, Toms roam for miles and miles and get in all sorts of trouble.

I say keep on feeding him and petting him on the doorstep, I know you find it difficult because you are so attached to him but looking past that, its obviously doing him the world of good and from your post it doesn't sound like he gets it anywhere else. He sounds lovely and I think Gypsy is right, in time he would probably integrate well with your own cat.

If you really do think at some point in the future that he is in need of rescue, do you have the US equivalent of the RSPCA that you could notify? I know that you have not suggested any plans to rescue him at the moment but as he lives on your street I worry that your neighbours would see him in your window and report him stolen if you did.

As for the inside/outside cat issue it is completely the norm here to have a catflap so that cat can come and go as he pleases unless you live in a heavily built up area, surely some breeds such as Bengals and Maine Coons need that access to the outside?
 

dragonfly411

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Maria D|1317685363|3032463 said:
Wow, I am stunned! I can't believe people think it's OK to kidnap a cat they think is neglected when they know it has a home. I'm not going to get into an argument about letting cats outdoors but I'll just say that there are plenty of reasonable people who love their cats that allow them out. In fact, it's the norm in many places. My cats go outside and a couple of them are super friendly. They are not neglected, they are well loved, well fed and given regular veterinary care. It is heartbreaking to think that someone might move here and kidnap my cat and (shudder) rehome it!

Maria - I wanted to respond quickly since I'm the one who introduced the idea. There is a difference between a well loved and well taken care of cat being let outside, and a cat being left outside, and only really fed. Huge difference. I have a cat who goes outside in the daytime and in at night. He is well groomed, wears a collar with tags, is fed a mixture of wet and dry food twice a day as well as having fresh water available at all times. He stays on our farm property, which is not a traffic filled area, and there aren't too many predators that could get to him. He is happy, and loves on us, and doesn't wander away searching for love. He sees a vet regularly, is kept on flea treatment, and gets along with all of our other animals. So I totally understand letting a cat outside! I'm all for it if it fits the cat! What I'm not ok with is what Danny described. The owners periodically throwing down some food, never bringing the cat in. It sounds like he has no collar, no tags (if he does then Danny can clarify), and that they don't give him love and attention that is deserved. He is also being left out in a high traffic area, which is dangerous for the cat. To me that warrants finding a loving home, and I'm not afraid to do it. I've kidnapped before. We found our pitt bull tied to a cinder block wandering in a neighborhood. She was slightly underweight and sad looking, pulling it along, tied with an old collar and a piece of rope. Yep. I took her. That is no life for an animal, and she deserved better. I have taken hunting dogs that I've found wandering the woods in the middle of the night. Some we've rehomed. Some we found the owners and told them if we found the dogs left at night in the cold again we'd report them. Some we kept because they were so skinny we knew they'd been left behind for good. Animals cannot speak for themselves. They cannot stand up for themselves. So it's our jobs as people to stand up for them. Sometimes that means doing something that may not be the most ideal option to all, but that may save that animal's life.
 

Imdanny

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IMO it doesn't depend on the breed. I don't think my rare breed of cat could navigate the traffic any better than the orange cat.

I made a decision. I'm not bringing the orange cat home to live with me. It would be ideal but I don't want to ask SO to let me break the promise I made to him when we got our cat.

I promised to have this one cat and no other pet for the rest of this cat's life. It had something to do with the discussion about getting a bird, then something about how a cat might hunt a bird. It turned into an agreement not to ever get a bird or a second cat. I'm the one who wanted a pet and this seemed easy to agree to at the time.

I'm sorry. I know that's a pretty major detail and I left it out of my OP. I didn't do it consciously. I had kind of forgotten about it. SO and I had a long talk tonight and he reminded me.

SO and our cat are going to have to compromise a little. I'm sorry if that's not fair, but if I can give up the idea of bringing a cat I love home with me, then they can let me say hello to it, pet it, and feed it once in a while.

And I'm going to look for a good home for him! I'm going to keep an eye out for him. He's my friend. I have to do all I can for him.

My aunt died this morning. I found out when my mom called me a couple hours after I started this thread. I wrote out individual replies to many of your posts but SO accidentally deleted my pages when he was working on the computer. I was upset about the orange cat last night. SO thinks it had something to do with my aunt. I don't know. My aunt very bravely and even cheerfully fought cancer for the last three years. I loved her so much. SO and she had met many times, got along great, and became close to each other. She told me to tell him she was his aunt too. She was kind of like our immediate family member after we moved to Arizona. She lived in LA. The rest of our family lives in New York and Florida.

So, I'm kind of out of it with grief, and I hope you'll forgive me for not being able to reply to each of you right now. I need to rest. I appreciate all the great advice I got in this thread and the good wishes! Thanks!

missy, your cats are beautiful!
 

JewelFreak

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
7,768
Danny, how I wish I had some magic to fix your heartaches. Is this the aunt for whom you had the jewelry made? Oh, that's a tough one. Can only say I'm with you in spirit, giving you all kinds of virtual pats on the back. And many caring thoughts.

Good decision about the orange cat. Your indoor cat will deal, don't worry; they are not traumatized by stuff like that -- cats are far too practical! The o.c. needs you & you need him, so hang in there together & you'll find the right home for him, I guarantee. Between you & your aunt and you & your o.c. there's a bridge of love that can never be destroyed. I believe that once created, love is the only eternal thing.

Much love to you.

--- Laurie
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
40,536
Danny, I am so sorry about your Aunt. You are in my thoughts.
 
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