The grandmother thread

[AprilBaby]

Grandads welcome too!

So I guess several of us will be grannies this year and some of you already are. Let's discuss granny names, how we feel, how much participation we will have,and anything else that comes up!

I will be 55 in two weeks. My MIL is very intrusive. The best thing she taught me is how not to be the MIL. I think because of that I am a very stand offfish MIL. Baby will change the situation. DIL is very close to her momma, which is excellent. We live 10 mins apart ( the parents). Unfortunately her poppa and us do not get along AT ALL. Makes it tough. In all honestly it is primarily his fault. Long story but he is just one of those people.
First of all, I don't feel I'm old enough to be a granny. ( I do realize I am). Second, I really don't know HOW to be a granny, we moved away when the kids were born so they never really had grandparents who did anything but complain. Third, I don't wanna give up my life to babysit ( it's already come up).

So what's your wisdom, what's your "beef", what's your story? Let's all support each other!

Aprilbaby

 

[Maisie]

Nanna here!!!! I can't wait for my grand baby to arrive safely. Ashleigh was pregnant a few months ago but sadly miscarried at 11 weeks. She got pregnant again within 2 months. I'm praying this little one stays put and is born safely

I live 200 miles away from Ash and Mark. My husband is in the Air Force so we can't move to be closer. That is going to be difficult as I will worry the baby won't know me. I will visit as often as possible but my youngest son James is autistic so travelling is taking him out of his comfort zone (and crying babies really bother him).

I don't have a good relationship with my mother so she isn't close to my children. I am not the same as her and family is hugely important to me. I will be the best nanna I can be. I'm 43 next month so quite young to be a granny! Ash is 21 and has been married for a year.

 

[amc80]

Hello soon-to-be-grandmas! Would you like some advise from someone with a one year old? B is my mom's first grandchild. My stepdad has some but they have always lived far away. So this is the first grandkid for both of them that they see more than once every couple of years (also first grandkid for DH's parents).

Anyway, my mom is one of those who always has an opinion and THE right way to do something. She even has opinions on stuff she knows nothing about. So yeah. She tries to come visit every few months, which I appreciate. She loves helping with B and wants to spend as much time with him as possible.

The only thing that really bugs me (and DH) is that she doesn't listen to us. You know, the parents. It is just little stuff but it's still annoying. She wanted to take B on a walk in his stroller, which was fine, and we told her to make sure he had a hat on. She didn't think he needed one and of course he ended up with a sunburn. Or (and this is the most annoying) he will be throwing a tantrum and we try to ignore him when he does that. But my mom will pick him up and ask him what's wrong, etc., despite us standing right there asking her to ignore him. So it's nothing huge, but still something that I thought I would put out there.

Congrats to both of you!

 

[Maisie]

Thank you for the advice! I will try my best not to be interfering! I would have hated my mother to do that to me so I won't do it to Ash. I think she would put me in my place anyway. She's quite feisty. I can't think where she gets it from

 

[Cluless]

Hello ladies,
Nonna here and a very anxious one at that. I myself had 2 high risk pregnancies which ended in pre-mature birth at 33 weeks for both (they both spent the first 2 months of their lives in NICU). So this is the one time in my life I truly wish she doesn't follow in my footsteps I'm terrified for her. Mentally I'm not there yet grandma sounds like they're speaking of my mom heck not me. By nature I'm very nurturing it can be misunderstood as intrusive and I understand that, I also had a mil who was no where close to nurturing but very intrusive, so I will think before acting or saying anything. Well ladies here we go on quite an adventure it's nerve wrecking, thank you for starting this thread April, I think we may all need this place at some point to fall back on. My prayers are with all that these young ladies all have wonderful pregnancies and healthy children.

 

[AprilBaby]

So glad you guys are participating! It's really good to hear all your views! Kate, my DIL is on her second pregnancy. The last one was lost at 12 weeks, right after we got all excited. It was heartbreaking for her and my son and they don't talk about it. I never had a miscarriage so I get it and I don't. I felt terrible but I couldn't totally relate, although I was sad to loose a grand child. That baby was due last week. She is now 12 weeks today and terrified it will happen again, but things are totally different.
A little gma history for me: oldest son is off on a wrong path and a girl was pregnant about three years ago. He finally told me when she miscarried. Later on a second girl was pregnant and she had an abortion. Now I feel I have lost three babies. It's hard to get excited right now. I can't tell anyone I know yet because Kate is scared. I don't want my heart broken again.
I think that's why I am not feeling the gma thing yet.

 

[Puppmom]

Hi, ladies! Congrats on the soon to be grandkiddos. I don't really belong here. My 19 year old DD is due in October...right before my 37th birthday. as you can imagine, my feelings are mixed at best. Babies are a blessing and we will celebrate this little one's arrival just as we do all the babies in our family. It still hard to wrap my head around. I'm still in my 30s and my other two children are 1 and 3!

The one good thing is I know very well what things I don't like that my mom and MIL do so I'll do my best to avoid those behaviors. I'm
entering uncharted territory though so I can't make any promises!

April, my MIL spent 5 days a week with each of my boys from 3 mos until about 15 mos. She was at my house which is 25 minutes from hers from 7:30-5:30 every single day. I'm not in the position to help DD in that way and don't think I have that in me even if I had the time to do it.

 

[Sparklelu]

Great thread!
I am Gigi to two terrific grandsons. j is 5 and C is turning 2 in May.
We live about 1 mile away from them, they moved here right after J was born. Actually they lived w us for about 2 months looking for a place.
I was 51 when J was born and chose Gigi because I wasn't overly thrilled with being grandma, it sounded old to me! Lol
When my DD was pregnant with #2 we took J each Friday night for a sleepover. Now that he is in VPK my DH picks him up each day and drops him at home. DD is a home based daycare provider and can't go get him. They have the best relationship. My husband has a bizarre sense of humor and J has developed the same quirky one. They have a deal on Fridays to stop at McD if J has not gotten in trouble in school that week. He us a very good kid, so they go every Friday!!
We love being so close to them, and I learned from my mom who was a great grandma, to be present but not pushy.
My pet peeve though is my dear sweet daughter has no qualms about asking us to sit at the drop of a hat, what I mean is she waits till the last minute to ask, kinda like I'm sitting around waiting to be summoned. And she gets huffy if I pause for a minute before saying yes.
We are working on that!

 

[Maisie]

So glad you guys are participating! It's really good to hear all your views! Kate, my DIL is on her second pregnancy. The last one was lost at 12 weeks, right after we got all excited. It was heartbreaking for her and my son and they don't talk about it. I never had a miscarriage so I get it and I don't. I felt terrible but I couldn't totally relate, although I was sad to loose a grand child. That baby was due last week. She is now 12 weeks today and terrified it will happen again, but things are totally different.
A little gma history for me: oldest son is off on a wrong path and a girl was pregnant about three years ago. He finally told me when she miscarried. Later on a second girl was pregnant and she had an abortion. Now I feel I have lost three babies. It's hard to get excited right now. I can't tell anyone I know yet because Kate is scared. I don't want my heart broken again.
I think that's why I am not feeling the gma thing yet.

I'm so sorry for the losses of your grandbabies. I know how sad it is.

When Ash lost her baby at 11 weeks it was awful. She'd been bleeding since 6 weeks. These early response pregnancy tests are all well and good but it's hard to know about a pregnancy from 4 weeks and then lose it. My daughter miscarried the day after her 1st wedding anniversary. She insisted on coming to me the same night, even though I'm 200 miles away. She stayed with me a week while she recovered physically. It was horrible to see her go through that. Her emotions are still raw after her loss but it's helping her to be pregnant again. She is having an early scan at 8 weeks which she has to pay for privately. I'm hoping it will reassure her that this pregnancy is progressing normally.

 

[Cluless]

My daughter is at her early scan as I'm typing this anxiously awaiting news.

 

[Maisie]

My daughter is at her early scan as I'm typing this anxiously awaiting news.

I hope it's all good and healthy!

 

[Cluless]

Thank you Maisie, she just called all is good baby is developing within the norm for 12 weeks.

 

[AprilBaby]

So it looks like we are all due in oct????

Puppmom: wow and I thought I wasn't ready! I guess it will be cool for your babies and grand baby to be close! Imagine an uncle a year older than you!

I'm so glad I started this thread!

Sparkleau: I'm counting on you for Gigi counseling!

Maise: hoping all is well at 8 weeks!

Clueless: we will all support each other! Yay!

Amc80: please stay and give us our Daughters and daughter in laws perspective so we don't forget we were them once!

 

[Maisie]

Thank you Maisie, she just called all is good baby is developing within the norm for 12 weeks.

That's great news!!

 

[amc80]

I was 51 when J was born and chose Gigi because I wasn't overly thrilled with being grandma, it sounded old to me! Lol

Mom, is that you? My mom goes by Gigi as well. She refuses to go by grandma!

Amc80: please stay and give us our Daughters and daughter in laws perspective so we don't forget we were them once!

Will do

Congrats to all of you!

 

[Cluless]

This is a great thread thanks for all the support ladies. I just got in from my own dr's appointment there was an e-mail for me that read Hi Nonna I opened it and there was the picture of the scan it says Hi World, Here comes trouble..... should I be worried? lol All jokes aside wow It left me breathless what a miracle a little life .........

Yes April she's due Oct. 23 when is Kate due?

Thank you Maisie when does Ashley go in for hers?

 

[AprilBaby]

The race is on!!!! Oct 23!!!!

The more I hear Gigi the more I like it!

I call he/she "lil punkin " since they are due near Halloween!

 

[Cluless]

oh wow same date too cool. I took to calling him/her peanut don't know why..............maybe cause they give out peanuts at Halloween lol I'm tiered long day sorry.

 

[missy]

Just wanted to chime in here and say that I think grandmothers are among some of the most wonderful and special people in this world. I still miss my grandma every single day and she made a huge impact on my life. So sending hugs to all you amazing grandmothers here and all the grandmothers to be. (((Hugs))) to all of you.

 

[AprilBaby]

Thanks missy! It's been 29 years but I miss my grandmother each and every day!

 

[Maisie]

What a lovely comment Missy! Big hugs to you!

Ash has her scan on Easter Sunday. I'm surprised the clinic is open on a religious holiday. Normally everything is closed. Not long to wait.

 

[Cluless]

Thank you missy hugs right back at you, you're a doll xo.

Maisie wow Easter Sunday that really isn't a long wait, I'll keep Ash in my thoughts and prayers xo

 

[AprilBaby]

Saw Kate tonight for dinner and she has the cutest little baby bump! Weird thing was we were not suppose to talk about it for another two weeks. Next scan then at 14/15 weeks.

 

[AprilBaby]

Is anyone buying a Mother's Day gift for the expectant mommy? Got ideas?

 

[Sparklelu]

I was 51 when J was born and chose Gigi because I wasn't overly thrilled with being grandma, it sounded old to me! Lol

Mom, is that you? My mom goes by Gigi as well. She refuses to go by grandma!

Amc80: please stay and give us our Daughters and daughter in laws perspective so we don't forget we were them once!

Will do

Congrats to all of you!

My sister was Mimi already so I couldn't pick that!
Plus when Jax was born my mom was still alive and because my DD called her grandma, and she was already grandma Tacci ( the Tacci being the way my sisters Grandaughter said our maiden name )
So I got to be Gigi
I've already created a bling lover in #2
Ever since he was a baby he would touch my BGD barbara pendant and I would say pretty be gentle.
He now refers to all sparkly as pretty be gentle!!

 

[Sparklelu]

The race is on!!!! Oct 23!!!!

The more I hear Gigi the more I like it!

I call he/she "lil punkin " since they are due near Halloween!

My DD baby shower for # 1 was welcome the ______ pumpkin to the patch! Hr was born on Nov 19
The shower was in our home and my DH didn't want to know if it was a boy or girl so we did a neutral theme at my favorite season! Taking full advantage if my fall decor.

I referred to him as my pumpkin for a bit.
The second one, Carter was bean because he wouldn't sleep till he was swaddled in the miracle blanket and looked like a string bean!
So my grand kids are food, I want to eat them up.
One pic this was at in November.

 

[AprilBaby]

Oh my goodness! They couldn't be cuter!!!!

 

[Cluless]

Awwww sparkle those are two little gems you've got there, by the way I love their bowties too cute!

April, I was thinking the same should we get her something for mother's day still undecided won't know what and then what if something goes wrong............... maybe just a card? Flowers? we still have some time to think about it.

 

[AprilBaby]

I guess you are right about that...maybe a corsage is best.

 

[Cluless]

Just had to share!