That question..

[Indylady]

......so when are you getting married?

Ugh. Most of the time, people are good-natured and are asking in an "earnest" sort of way, and I don't mind at all. I just answer, "I don't know" or "in a few years" etc.

But sometimes, I'm asked with a sort of smirk; almost tauntingly. LIW, have you had this happen to you? And what do you say in response? I'm looking for a nice, polite one-liner in response. Not snarky, but definitely firm that gets the point across that I'm not appreciating this question/tone. Any ideas?

 

[Seattle SC]

Hah! I just say, "why don't you ask my BF"

But of course, I'm a true LIW (waiting...waiting...waiting..)

 

[monarch64]

(Puzzled expression): "We really appreciate your concern, but we haven't yet gotten engaged or chosen a wedding date...we thought you already knew that?"

The ball is thrown right back into the taunter's court, meanwhile you've answered honestly and gracefully, leaving the taunter looking like an a$$.

 

[amc80]

I'm with Seattle..."You'd have to ask my bf."

 

[beezygal]

Seattle, I like your respond.

if the person who asked you is single, say "when are YOU going to get married?"

 

[princesss]

I like Monnie's response.

 

[Anonymous]

+2 for Monnie's response!

 

[slg47]

+3 for Monnie's response!

 

[Nashville]

"When we decide to."

Short, polite, to the point.

 

[Indylady]

Thank you Seattle, Monnie, Amc, Beezy, Tammy, Slg, and Nashville!!

Monnie, that is an excellent suggestion! I really like it. Once again, you hit it on the nail. Part of what irks me is that I'm not engaged (and the people asking know it!); therefore, its pretty obvious that I won't know when I'll be married.

I understand they might also mean "when are you getting engaged" but to that, I also don't know. Its just the tone that gets me. Thank you all for your responses!

 

[kagordo4]

Hah! I just say, "why don't you ask my BF"

But of course, I'm a true LIW (waiting...waiting...waiting..)

This is pretty much what I do when my friends or sister's won't drop the subject.

But I like Monarch's response.

Edited: dang I press submit too soon all the time. I agree... sometimes I feel like these people asking are just trying to drive the point home and I swear I can see a twist little smirk on their faces. Other times though, I think people are just genuinely interested.

 

[manderz]

We get it all the time, even more so BEFORE we got engaged. We've been together for nearly 8 years, and only just got engaged a couple months ago. He used to just ignores anyone asking, and I'd answer that I have no idea. Now that we are, I'm just upfront with whoever asks. At this point, it's going to be several years, as I need to get through school before we consider spending money we don't really have on a wedding. Unless they'd like to help me pay for it

 

[dec2410]

sigh. i get this question all the time. i just say "when the time is right.." that usually does the trick. haha.

i came across this article on msn.com and thought i'd share...

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=24751933

 

[PrincessNatalie]

I usually say "why would i buy the cow when I am getting the milk for free?" gets a laugh and keeps things lighthearted, while deflecting the rude questioning.

 

[Indylady]

I usually say "why would i buy the cow when I am getting the milk for free?" gets a laugh and keeps things lighthearted, while deflecting the rude questioning.

Good one! That is hilarious!

 

[maebelle]

I usually say "why would i buy the cow when I am getting the milk for free?" gets a laugh and keeps things lighthearted, while deflecting the rude questioning.

Princess Natatlie, I love you and am stealing that line for a while

 

[MayFlowers]

I usually say "why would i buy the cow when I am getting the milk for free?" gets a laugh and keeps things lighthearted, while deflecting the rude questioning.

Hahaha! I love this line too!

 

[pesce]

Great thread, and some very clever responses! I'm going to write some of these down for quick reference!

 

[PrincessNatalie]

I usually say "why would i buy the cow when I am getting the milk for free?" gets a laugh and keeps things lighthearted, while deflecting the rude questioning.

Princess Natatlie, I love you and am stealing that line for a while

Lol, I know its a good one isnt it. I love it. My bf acts into it too now by play acting hurt when I say it, in the same way us females are expected to.

Honestly I can tell the difference between when someone loves me and is excited or when they are just after some gossip. If I trust the person who is asking I might share my feelings with them but sometimes its better to move on quickly.

For fun I just googled some more answers to the gossips we can use:

We're waiting until I finish my gender reassignment so everything will be legal.

According to the Census Bureau, good things do come to those who wait.

What makes you think BF hasn't already asked but I said "no"?

We aren't ready to ruin our sex life.

We're waiting until we meet the right people.

 

[FuturePsyD]

I have come to dread THAT question.

It's like the never ending question when you're a LIW!

Even though the majority of the people who ask are asking with good intentions, it gets frustrating for those of us who have to keep hearing it and responding to it.

Those who I am close to, I respond with honesty that we are simply not financially ready. Those I don't care for, I just say we are on that road and it will happen soon.

I love giving smart remarks, like Princess Natalie suggested but some individuals are just so, lets say, stubborn that they come back with "haha, no really though. You guys have been together 5 years, what's going on?"

Just can't win sometimes.

 

[4ever]

When people ask when BF and I are getting married I tell them "Not Today" *shrugs*

 

[princesss]

I usually say "why would i buy the cow when I am getting the milk for free?" gets a laugh and keeps things lighthearted, while deflecting the rude questioning.

Princess Natatlie, I love you and am stealing that line for a while

Lol, I know its a good one isnt it. I love it. My bf acts into it too now by play acting hurt when I say it, in the same way us females are expected to.

Honestly I can tell the difference between when someone loves me and is excited or when they are just after some gossip. If I trust the person who is asking I might share my feelings with them but sometimes its better to move on quickly.

For fun I just googled some more answers to the gossips we can use:

We're waiting until I finish my gender reassignment so everything will be legal.

According to the Census Bureau, good things do come to those who wait.

What makes you think BF hasn't already asked but I said "no"?

We aren't ready to ruin our sex life.

We're waiting until we meet the right people.

PrincessNatalie, I used to use the same line! Anybody that asked me would get a, "Oh, I dunno...why buy the cow, you know?" with a big wink. It generally cracked people up and stopped that line of questioning - after all, if I wasn't going to take it seriously, what was the point of trying to get a serious answer out of me?

 

[Glitz]

What makes you think BF hasn't already asked but I said "no"? I literally just laughed out loud when I read this one, I'm going to use it next time and watch the look on my SO's face!

I was actually asked this question 3 time over the past weekend, all of the people who asked we're just honestly wondering. The first time I was asked I was sitting at a table with about 10 people, the guy who asked was nice about the question, but I could see other (married) people at the table smirking, at this time SO was outside on the phone so I just said "whenever he decides the time is right". The next night I was asked two different times by SO's co-worker and his boss! They both expressed how much SO loved me and that behind ever strong man is a stronger woman, and that we were made for each other. Those things made me totally forget about the questioning, to which I told them "you should ask SO when he gets back" ... I let him take it from there, he basically said "The time will come"