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Thank You Notes!?

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KatyWI

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Soooo my grandfather has already sent us our wedding gift. (6 place settings of our gorgeous Vera Wang flatware!!!)

This puts me in the awkward position of having to order stationery before I really had time to think about what I wanted!

So. I know that formal etiquette states that I have to use my full and proper name (Caitlin, even though I've always been Katy to everyone.) Should I use Caitlin Middlename Lastname, or just Caitlin Lastname?

Alternatively, should I use a monogram instead?

Basically, I want to know what stationery you ladies all had for your maiden name, whether you had full name or monogram, and if you wished you had the other?

I know it's basically a matter of personal preference, but I really cannot decide! And if one is more proper than the other, I prefer to use that.


In addition, I've always thought that I knew proper etiquette for writing thank you notes, because I believe my mother told me post-bat-mitzvah that it was not proper to start a thank you not by saying "Thank you for...", rather that you should say something along the lines of "It was so wonderful to see you after all this time! Thank you so much for..." But in my stationery research I saw something that said proper etiquette is to start the note off right away with the thank you. Haven?
 

ash313

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Yay, fun! I love ordering stationary!

My maiden name notes are small foldover cards with my full name including title with middle initial on the front:

Ms. LeeNY R. Lastname

They are ecru color cardstock with my name embossed in a deep red color - they were a gift last year from FMIL. I LOVE them and send them out ALL the time.

Afraid I can''t speak to what''s proper, but I love mine, they feel quite formal. FWIW, FMIL is very proper and I think has a great sense of etiquette and these came from her, so...
 

lliang_chi

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Katy, yay! Wedding presents & stationary shopping! I can''t give you any advice on etiquette, but just wanted to say Yay!
 

lovesparklies

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For gifts I''ve received before the wedding I''ve been using pretty Crane''s foldover notes without any name, monogram or picture on the front. I don''t know if that''s totally proper etiquette but I don''t feel that it''s against etiquette, either. I was worried about ordering notes with my maiden name and then having a ton left over after the wedding.
 

PilsnPinkysMom

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I have no suggestions... this post just made me realize how clueless I am about etiquette!
I honestly didn''t know that thank you cards were supposed to have one''s name on the front... I just figured they would be plain or say "thank you"??

Also, what''s the purpose of cards with one''s maiden name? For general thank-yous, bridal shower gifts, etc??

Are thank-you cards with one''s full name appropriate for post-interview thank-you notes?
 

KatyWI

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PilsnPinkysMom, you don''t HAVE to have your name on the front for thank you notes. In fact, even Emily Post will tell you that basically any stationery is okay for a thank you note, though in respect to a wedding, more formal is better.

It''s my personal preference to have formal personal stationery that I can write thank you notes and other missives on. I just wanted to know what others with personal stationery thought. :) This way, for the next 4.5 months I can use my stationery for anything (including thank yous for shower gifts, interviews, etc)! I only got 50, I figured that would be plenty since we are having a relatively small wedding, and I can always order more! I hope they''re appropriate for post-interview thank yous, as hopefully I''ll be interviewing for a new job soon!

I don''t think in respect to stationery that one can be too formal, but I may be wrong!!
 

Italiahaircolor

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If it is a wedding gift, it should have both your husbands and your name on the card ... if you''re using names.
 

KatyWI

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According to Emily Post, since two people cannot both actually write a note, formal stationery should never have two names, or even a combined monogram!! Crazy, huh? I was looking forward to our joint correspondence :)
 

CNOS128

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Date: 4/17/2009 5:54:09 PM
Author: KatyWI
According to Emily Post, since two people cannot both actually write a note, formal stationery should never have two names, or even a combined monogram!! Crazy, huh? I was looking forward to our joint correspondence :)

Oh well. I purchased note cards specifically to use as wedding thank yous, and they have both my name and my fiance''s on the front. And when I write the thank you notes, I sign both of our names, too. Emily Post would definitely not approve.

I also start every note with "Thank you for the ..." and then I go on to say how I hope to see the person soon, or how wonderful it was to see them, etc. It is a thank you note, after all! Its purpose is thanks!
 

Sparkalicious

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Hmmm. Not sure what to suggest, possibly Haven will be able to come to the rescue? She''s so good with this stuff.
 

diamondseeker2006

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I always lean toward proper etiquette, but for informal notes before you are married, I personally see nothing wrong with having "Katy Lastname" on them if that is the name everyone knows you by. If you are using traditional formal notes with engraving, then you probably should go with your full proper maiden name.
 

kittybean

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For all our wedding gifts--including the ones we receive before the wedding--I''m sending thank you notes that match our wedding invitations. They are folded cards with our first names on the front. Our invitations are not particularly traditional, so I didn''t feel the thank you cards had to be on formal stationery.

Stock photo of our invites (thank you looks like card on bottom left, with names in script like on the invite):
 

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risingsun

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Dec 19, 2006
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When are you getting married? I did all my thank you notes within 4-6 weeks after the wedding, regardless of when the gift arrived. I did let people know, informally, that the gift had reached me, so they wouldn''t worry and kind of teased them that they would receive a formal thank you with my new name after the wedding. It may not have been according to protocol, but did seem to please my guests.
 

KatyWI

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I actually have ordered my cards with my very proper mother''s advice, and they are white folded paneled note cards with my name printed in black on the front, Caitlin Middlename Lastname.

risingsun, I am totally the type to procrastinate/forget about these things, so I feel much more comfortable sending the thank yous as I receive the gifts :)
 

diamondseeker2006

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Date: 4/18/2009 6:09:40 PM
Author: KatyWI
I actually have ordered my cards with my very proper mother''s advice, and they are white folded paneled note cards with my name printed in black on the front, Caitlin Middlename Lastname.

risingsun, I am totally the type to procrastinate/forget about these things, so I feel much more comfortable sending the thank yous as I receive the gifts :)
Can''t go wrong with that choice!
 
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