Suggestions on settings

[phillystudent]

I've recently picked up my search for a ring and thanks to the site have found several reputable diamond retailers and a wealth of information which is going to make me a much more informed shopper when it comes to picking the diamond(s). I think I'm making good headway on the diamond(I'm hoping to make a visit to Good Old Gold this weekend to see some stones in person), and am convinced that I'll find a fantastic stone that I'm VERY happy with. I'm having a harder time picking settings and I'm not sure why.

Let me say that as I'm trying to keep this a surprise, I really haven't talked to my gf about what she likes other than the fact that she took it upon herself to send me a link to a platinum website. So I'm working in platinum. She's going to be a doctor so I suppose a rock that sticks out much will be difficult for her to wear(maybe doctors just take rings off- I don't know). I'm also not as fond of rings where the rock sticks way out on the rings. That's not to say I don't like solitare settings, but I am leaning towards a three stone setting. Its hard to judge these settings just by looking at pictures on various websites, but I haven't seen a setting that I'm dead set on buying yet. From the website I do like some that I see on Whiteflash and GoodOldGold, but are their selections limited? Should I be looking elsewhere? I'm also torn about whether to get diamonds as the flanking stones or blue solitares. I'm a student right now, so I'm hoping to keep everything in the $8000 ballpark for setting and stone, although I'll go higher if it means I get the setting or stone that perfect in my eyes. I'm sure I'll get a better idea for some of these settings when I get to GoodOldGold this weekend, but I was hoping to get some advice or ideas before I go. I'm wondering if I should forget about the surprise thing and just bring my gf in with me on this, but I really want to catch her off guard.

thanks for checking this out.

 

[ringabling]

here''s what I always suggest and why.
I know most men really want to surprise their GF w/ the ring, it''s romantic and thoughtful and us gals love that!
So I propose that you find the right center stone and have it mounted on a plain band and after you propose you guys can shop together, that way she''ll be completely content w/ her ring. . . it''s a win-win!

The other thing to consider is if you go w/ a plain band, even in a 3-stone ring, platinum will look very dull over time, sooner than later actually. . . a lot like sterling silver does.
A lot of us choose white gold even when we think we want platinum because it stays polished and shiny looking. You can still do platinum prongs for strength if you want, that''s what we did.

 

[Lorelei]

Welcome!

I agree with RB, perhaps get the diamond set in a plain Tiffany style solitaire setting to propose with, you could go for white gold to avoid too much extra expense, then let her choose the platinum setting she wants.

 

[mrssalvo]

I agree with ringabling that having the stone set in a simple setting for the proposal and then ring shopping together for the setting is a great idea.

I am a platinum lover though and much prefer it over WG. Both have pros and cons, WG yellows on some people (me) and can be re-plated. Platinum dulls and delvelops a patina over time, which I happen to like, but can also be easily polished without losing metal to get shiney again.

check out www.pearlmansjewelers.com for a ton a settings. GOG doesn't show all the settings they have, they just list the desingers they carry, so if you go to the designer websites you'll see a lot more.

 

[phillystudent]

Interesting idea, one that I hadn''t thought of. Do I end up eating the cost of the temporary setting, or is there an easy way to recover some of that expense?

If I opted to go with Whiteflash or GoodoldGold for the diamond(or another etailer) I could get this temporary setting from them to make the process simpler?

 

[ringabling]

Date: 1/9/2008 11:03:47 AM
Author: phillystudent
Interesting idea, one that I hadn't thought of. Do I end up eating the cost of the temporary setting, or is there an easy way to recover some of that expense?

If I opted to go with Whiteflash or GoodoldGold for the diamond(or another etailer) I could get this temporary setting from them to make the process simpler?

on recovering the expense, it depends on who you buy from and if you buy the setting from them as well. You could probably negotiate the setting to be thrown in when buying teh stone as it's probably only a few hundred $ their cost - if that, or you can request that it be credited towards the setting you will choose later.
Catch w/ the 2nd one is you'd have to buy teh setting at the same place as the original setting. This is a catch because if you and your fiancee are shopping together locally and you find the setting she wants, you'll likely want to buy it there.
If you take a photo of it, WF or GOG can replicate it for you though

Any jeweler can pop the stone into a plain tiffany style setting for you.
Did I make any sense

 

[phillystudent]

Date: 1/9/2008 11:08:30 AM
Author: ringabling

Date: 1/9/2008 11:03:47 AM

Author: phillystudent

Interesting idea, one that I hadn''t thought of. Do I end up eating the cost of the temporary setting, or is there an easy way to recover some of that expense?


If I opted to go with Whiteflash or GoodoldGold for the diamond(or another etailer) I could get this temporary setting from them to make the process simpler?

on recovering the expense, it depends on who you buy from and if you buy the setting from them as well. You could probably negotiate the setting to be thrown in when buying teh stone as it''s probably only a few hundred $ their cost - if that, or you can request that it be credited towards the setting you will choose later.

Catch w/ the 2nd one is you''d have to buy teh setting at the same place as the original setting. This is a catch because if you and your fiancee are shopping together locally and you find the setting she wants, you''ll likely want to buy it there.

If you take a photo of it, WF or GOG can replicate it for you though

Any jeweler can pop the stone into a plain tiffany style setting for you.

Did I make any sense

Yes, that does make sense. Its a bit strange to think of it this way, almost unsettling and I''m not sure why. I''ll need to let it sink in a bit. I''ll float this idea by a few places I''ve had contact with so far and see what they think of the idea and most importantly, what they can do to help me out with it.

In many ways I''d really love to have everything there when the question goes down, but doing this they way you guys have suggested does make sense. Still, it seems like it would be strange to ask the question and then follow it with an asterisk that this ring isn''t the real one. I guess this just needs to sink in a bit. Thanks for the comments and ideas and experience with this, as its going to be very useful with this.

 

[Lorelei]

Heres another idea. As you say your GF sent you a link to a platinum website, maybe she has a preference or loves one of the designs on that site, so you could always ask in a roundabout way which ones she likes? That way there is still some element of surprise and you get it right the first time, she is happy and so are you!! Many ladies these days have a lot of input into their rings, it doesn''t seem to ruin the surprise or romance of the actual proposal at all.

 

[mrssalvo]

phillystudent,

have you thought about proposing without a ring? I know it''s traditional to do it this way, but that''s how my hubby did it. I was just floored, totally suprised me, and then he said he wanted us to ring shop together to ensure I got exactly what I wanted. after we picked it and it was sized etc. he surprised me again with romantic dinner and another proposal, this time with the ring. Some gals really do want the guy to choose and be surprised, others want some say, so I guess you''ve got to determine which your gal is. If you going to GOG they will take extra good care of you (you do have an appt. right? if not, be sure to set one up b/c they get very busy and you''ll want them to have some time set aside for you). If you do decide to go ahead with the whole package, I''d suggest keeping it simple and pretty tradional. we''ve seen so many stories here from gals who''s guys surprised them and they didn''t like the ring and didn''t know how to tell their sweet fiance''s they didn''t like it. so if you are going for the total surprise package, please keep it simple. then maybe you can suggest upgrading the setting in a few years once you''re no longer in school.

 

[kennyg]

Some food for thought (and these thoughts are just my experience, it may be different from others):

In my experience most women (and people in general) who like surprises don''t actually like the full blown "it came out of nowhere" surprise because it could catch them off guard, happen at a moment where they weren''t ready for it, or actually be something they don''t want. This seems to hold true whether the surprise is a proposal, a birthday party, or a squirting flower that goes off when someone sniffs it.

Instead, people I''ve come across prefer the anticipation of surprise more than the surprise itself. For example, I am guessing my fiance has more fun near valentine''s and christmas because there is an anticipation of a gift or surprise. But she doesn''t know what the surprise will be or how it will get delivered, so that keeps it mysterious. But I bet if I surprised her with a party for her birthday and didn''t somehow work it out so she was dressed nicely, feeling good, i.e. prepared to meet all those people - then the surprise may not actually work out as planned. She would of course be happy but might feel self conscious or something like that.

I debated the "it came out of nowhere" proposal, but opted for teasing her a bit about jewelry shopping to see if she was game. The day when we started ring shopping was actually very romantic because it was an unofficial statement that we both want to get married, and then you get to prolong that feeling in the months that come as you get the ring and finally propose. I like this better because you then get a sense for what she wants, you are relatively sure both of you are on the same page regarding marriage, and she gets to enjoy the anticipation up until your proposal.

So my recommendation is to shop a bit with her or talk to her about wedding rings, even if you ask her "hypothetically" with tongue-in-cheek.

 

[phillystudent]

Again, thanks for the replies and suggestions.

I haven''t thought about proposing without a ring, but really would like to have something for the event. I''m not looking for anything elaborate as I indicated in my original post. At most, I''d want three stones. Simple and elegant is perfectly fine by me. These rings littered with stones or very fancy ornate metal work aren''t for me(or her I suspect).

I''ll look around, and ensure I have an appointment for Saturday at GoodOldGold...I have been waiting on an email to confirm, but I suppose that I may want to ask again to make sure.

As for trying to find a roundabout way to bring up the platinum website, I think that time has long since passed. Any mention of that would immediately arouse suspicion-- I should have asked when she first sent it out two months or more back. I could try to get help from her friend who she''s talked about this with, I just didn''t want to risk a leak. However, having her help would be nearly as good as bringing my gf shopping with me, so that might be the best thing to do at this point.