Struggling with Quality of Engagement Ring

[300GCP]

This is perhaps an unusual story, but I'm hoping for honest advice. I was married once before, and in the end kept my engagement and wedding rings. My engagement ring contained a center stone with a G color, VS1 clarity, Very good cut, 1.54 carat princess cut stone, GIA certified. It also had two side stones which were not GIA certified that were G/H color and VS1/VS2 clarity. Each side stone was .5 carats. The band was white gold and also had 6 small (less than .10) princess cut stones that were channel set, same color/clarity as the side stones.

Years later, I am getting remarried. I decided that I would give my fiancee my previous engagement ring to trade towards whatever he buys. I did not think this would cause me any mixed feelings at the time. I told him that all I ask was that he not make an even trade, but use this ring to save himself some money. I was not looking for him to get some absurdly phenomenal ring, but I wanted him to put money towards the new ring so I could feel like the new ring was from him with all of the love and effort that goes into buying it, not just a recycled ring.

He proposed, and I do love the style of what he gave me. However, I am torn over the center diamond and keeping it inside and don't really know what to do. The new ring has an eternity band that is 1.9 carats of round diamonds, G color and SI1 clarity. The center stone is GIA certified, G color, SI2 clarity, very good cut and 1.51 carat round brilliant. So, it has most of the same characteristics as my previous ring (although a different shape), except the quality is significantly lower. Ultimately my fiancee told the story (which I didn't ask for) that this center stone is supposed to be eye clean and that the jeweler he went through had a limited selection, with the better clarity stones were also bigger in size and better in color and were therefore a tremendous amount of additional money. The trade he got was almost even - he put in a bit of money and then had to pay the tax.

I think suggesting that we trade in my ring may have been a mistake, or that maybe I just need a reality check (which I'm hoping to get here). I am convinced that the stone is "bad" being SI2 and I am pretty sure that I can see inclusions through the pavilion (which I couldn't on my prior ring). Believe it or not from my post, I'm not greedy or particular or demanding. I guess the comparison is just there and also the lingering feeling like what I think should go into a ring (taking time to select a beautiful stone) didn't go into this ring.

Any advice on this?

 

[mrs jam]

Hi, I can certainly understand why you are struggling with this. An engagement ring is such an emotional purchase, for so many different reasons. It's just not the same as buying any other piece of jewelry. I think you should DEFINITELY tell your fiance your feelings on this. It sounds like the quality of your previous e-ring was much, much higher than the ring you have just been given. Since you gave him your old set to use as a trade-in that paid for most of this purchase, the quality difference would really bug me. If you're able, my advice is to take the ring back to the jewelry store, return it, and start fresh. And definitely be involved in the process; after all, this is your money (in the form of your old ring) that's being spent. My fear is that your jeweler is making out like a bandit in this situation.

Best of luck! And congratulations on your engagement! I"m sure that together, you and your fiance can find a ring that will make your heart flutter!

 

[lbbaber]

Just so you know, diamond prices are extremely high right now and a 1.5 round brilliant costs significantly more than a 1.5 princess. Did you educate your fiance about the cut of a diamond? or even send him over pricescope for help? Many guys are clueless and, sadly, trust what the jeweler says (especailly if he found a jeweler that was willing to take a trade-in--not always easy to do).

I sold my 1st diamond from my 1st marriage which was a 1ct RB Gia certified excellent cut stone E VS1, and got only A FRACTION of what he had paid originally. I took it around to alot of places to even get that. The re-sale value of a diamond IS NOWHERE near what you would expect.

I am not trying to sound harsh...I feel bad for you that you are not happy. I would hate to think that such a joyous occasion is causing you stress.

Did the ring he bought have any kind of return policy? Are you still in the time frame where you can return it and start over (or even get another stone through that store)?


Edited to add: I just re-read your post and see that he got an "almost even" trade. So basically, your 1st fiance bought you your e-ring? is this what is upsetting you (bc it would probably bother me). Is your current fiance in a financial situation where he could have afforded to add a few thousnd to the money he got from your trade? Maybe its not just the clarity of the diamond that is bothering you? I hope you can work this out. Just be as honest as you can with both you fiance and yourself or you will always regret not saying anything while you had the chance!! GOOD LUCK!!

 

[shihtzulover]

Did you have an upgrade policy for the old ring, or did he have to find a jeweler who would accept it? If there was no upgrade policy, and he had to trade it in with a jeweler who was willing to take it, then it's very likely that he did not get nearly as much money back as what was paid.

Also, diamond prices have really been going up lately, and round diamonds cost more than princess cut diamonds of the same carat weight, color, clarity, etc.

Oh, and I don't think that SI2 clarity (assuming that it is graded by the GIA or the AGS, since those are the two strict labs) is automatically bad. Several people here (including myself) have diamonds with SI2 clarity, and they can definitely be absolutely gorgeous. Do you have a picture of the inclusion plot? That might help you to determine whether or not it's an inclusion that you're actually seeing.

I'm sorry that you're not happy. Is there a return period for this ring? Maybe you could go back and find something else, but I believe that you may have to increase your budget if you want to increase the stats.

 

[shihtzulover]

Just so you know, diamond prices are extremely high right now and a 1.5 round brilliant costs significantly more than a 1.5 princess. Did you educate your fiance about the cut of a diamond? or even send him over pricescope for help? Many guys are clueless and, sadly, trust what the jeweler says (especailly if he found a jeweler that was willing to take a trade-in--not always easy to do).

I sold my 1st diamond from my 1st marriage which was a 1ct RB Gia certified excellent cut stone E VS1, and got only A FRACTION of what he had paid originally. I took it around to alot of places to even get that. The re-sale value of a diamond IS NOWHERE near what you would expect.

I am not trying to sound harsh...I feel bad for you that you are not happy. I would hate to think that such a joyous occasion is causing you stress.

Did the ring he bought have any kind of return policy? Are you still in the time frame where you can return it and start over (or even get another stone through that store)?


Edited to add: I just re-read your post and see that he got an "almost even" trade. So basically, your 1st fiance bought you your e-ring? is this what is upsetting you (bc it would probably bother me). Is your current fiance in a financial situation where he could have afforded to add a few thousnd to the money he got from your trade? Maybe its not just the clarity of the diamond that is bothering you? I hope you can work this out. Just be as honest as you can with both you fiance and yourself or you will always regret not saying anything while you had the chance!! GOOD LUCK!!

I second this. I would honestly probably be upset with him, especially if he is in a financial situation to afford to put a bit more money toward the ring.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think many women here would relate to your feelings on this. But the mistake you made was not being more involved in the choosing of the ring. Most men have not done the research on what makes a well cut stone and they will rely on what the jeweler tells them. I also would be unhappy with an SI2 clarity and I would want a GIA excellent cut stone or AGS ideal cut. I really think you needed to specify all this as well as show him some examples of settings you liked. It is impossible for men to read our minds and the more specific we are, the happier we will be when they buy us a gift. Unfortunately most of us learn this the hard way! I pick out all my jewelry now and my husband is happy he doesn't have to fear me being disappointed and I am happy because I get exactly what I want.

We see this scenario on here often, and the best thing you can do is be honest with him and go back to this jeweler right away and be more specific about what you want.

Oh, and reading the other posts, I can guarantee he was given little credit on the old ring and probably paid thousands for the new one.

 

[minmin001]

I would agree with the other and suggest you return the ring if you can, it will bug me for the rest of my life and that's not a good thing. RB diamond is more expensive than princess cut, so maybe go with a lower carat and get least SI1 clarity (eye clean) if you can. It's important to educate your finance about diamond so maybe send him over to this forum before you guys decide on a ring.

 

[300GCP]

Just so you know, diamond prices are extremely high right now and a 1.5 round brilliant costs significantly more than a 1.5 princess. Did you educate your fiance about the cut of a diamond? or even send him over pricescope for help? Many guys are clueless and, sadly, trust what the jeweler says (especailly if he found a jeweler that was willing to take a trade-in--not always easy to do).

I sold my 1st diamond from my 1st marriage which was a 1ct RB Gia certified excellent cut stone E VS1, and got only A FRACTION of what he had paid originally. I took it around to alot of places to even get that. The re-sale value of a diamond IS NOWHERE near what you would expect.

I am not trying to sound harsh...I feel bad for you that you are not happy. I would hate to think that such a joyous occasion is causing you stress.

Did the ring he bought have any kind of return policy? Are you still in the time frame where you can return it and start over (or even get another stone through that store)?


Edited to add: I just re-read your post and see that he got an "almost even" trade. So basically, your 1st fiance bought you your e-ring? is this what is upsetting you (bc it would probably bother me). Is your current fiance in a financial situation where he could have afforded to add a few thousnd to the money he got from your trade? Maybe its not just the clarity of the diamond that is bothering you? I hope you can work this out. Just be as honest as you can with both you fiance and yourself or you will always regret not saying anything while you had the chance!! GOOD LUCK!!

You definitely don't sound harsh at all. The original ring when purchased cost $12k. Current fiancee got $7,800 for it. New ering cost $8,500 plus tax.

You are right, I do feel like previous fiancee bought the current e-ring, and that is definitely a huge contributing factor. The quality is also huge for me because of the fact that I can see the inclusion (I think). And yes, we are both lawyers, he is actually a partner at a big firm, so adding a bit more wouldn't have been a problem.

He told me about the experience with the jeweler, and basically the jeweler was saying he bought this stone in a prior year and hasn't sold it, and therefore can really give him a great deal on it. He also showed my fiancee to other stones - 1.65, F, VS2 and 1.81, F, VS2, which were both tens of thousands of dollars more. There was no in between.

I really am upset if I let myself admit it.

 

[iota15]

If you're fiance got an "almost even" trade, then he did EXTREMELY WELL for both of you. 1.5 ct RB's are significantly more expensive than 1.5 ct princess cuts (of the same stats). Additionally, trade-in's or secondary market diamonds, which your stone was, usually sell on the secondary market for 30 to 50% of their original purchase price. That means your fiance was not only able to recover a significant portion of the original purchase price, but also traded-up because RB's cost much more.

Now, the clarity is somewhat lower and I can understand how this might be a "mind clean" issue. However, let me ask you: can you see ANY inclusions in this new diamond? Eyeclean Si2's do exist and in the interest of full disclosure, I have one as well. For me, regardless of its stats, what matters to me is the pretty little jewel I get to wear - and in my particular jewel, I can't see the inclusions. To me, that means it's perfect. Plus, it's saving my new family some money.

If however this is an emotional issue with your fiance and your old stone, I suggest you speak to your new fiance. Maybe there's still time to do something about your situation with the jeweler.

 

[300GCP]

If you're fiance got an "almost even" trade, then he did EXTREMELY WELL for both of you. 1.5 ct RB's are significantly more expensive than 1.5 ct princess cuts (of the same stats). Additionally, trade-in's or secondary market diamonds, which your stone was, usually sell on the secondary market for 30 to 50% of their original purchase price. That means your fiance was not only able to recover a significant portion of the original purchase price, but also traded-up because RB's cost much more.

Now, the clarity is somewhat lower and I can understand how this might be a "mind clean" issue. However, let me ask you: can you see ANY inclusions in this new diamond? Eyeclean Si2's do exist and in the interest of full disclosure, I have one as well. For me, regardless of its stats, what matters to me is the pretty little jewel I get to wear - and in my particular jewel, I can't see the inclusions. To me, that means it's perfect. Plus, it's saving my new family some money.

If however this is an emotional issue with your fiance and your old stone, I suggest you speak to your new fiance. Maybe there's still time to do something about your situation with the jeweler.

I *think* it's eyeclean from the top down. I cannot see any inclusions myself. I can easily see an inclusion through the pavilion if I am holding the ring up close and looking for it. Does that make me insane that I would even bring my ring up to my face and look at it sideways just to find something wrong with it?

I think its a combination of the clarity and the issue with the previous fiancee. I really thought I'd be OK with it, and maybe I will still get over it.

 

[iota15]

Whoa - just saw your post. He got a great deal on your 1.5, um, amazingly so.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Again, perhaps there's still time to do something about it. I would speak to him sooner, rather than later (or not at all). Also, if you can see the inclusion and it was represented as an eye clean stone, perhaps he can have the deal void.


ETA - You're posting faster than I can respond (appropriately). haha.
Okay - another option, if you're truly unhappy with it - the stone your fiance received seems like a great deal. If the deal cannot be void, there is a chance he can sell it on the secondary market without losing all that much.

Usually, eye clean is defined as not being able to see the inclusions from at least six inches from the stone. It's not usually put up to close scrutiny from the side, and below - but then, everyone and every vendor has a different definition of eye clean.

 

[iota15]

Oh, and you're not insane... or at least, not anymore than anyone on this board.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

You need to tell him while the jeweler is still willing to exchange the diamond. he can search his suppliers and get a new diamond. Just be sure to specifiy GIA Excellent cut for a round and the color range and clarity you want. I'd definitely go to H color to get a better cut and clarity diamond, personally.

 

[300GCP]

We've been engaged now for about 10 days. A few days after it happened, when I realized the specs and all that, I broke down and I did tell him and was BAWLING when I did. But I felt HORRENDOUSLY guilty and told him that I knew what I was saying was illogical and stupid and to just bare with me. I told him that I was just surprised because I thought we said he would put his own money into this, and that really the trading of the old ring was supposed to SAVE money and not just get a ring for almost nothing. He said he completely understood and that he wanted to spend more even for himself, but that this jeweler was giving him a trade-in that he could not possibly find anywhere else (based on other places he looked) AND that the jeweler said that he'd only give him that price if he bought a stone from him. The jeweler just didn't have any stone in between the F,VS2 and 1.65 stone, which would have cost more than $20k, and the one my fiancee bought. He said he planned on buying me another piece of jewelery with the money he had been planning to spend. I said I thought that was nice, but this ring is forever and will be worn every day and that I wish it had been put into the ring. The circumstances just didn't allow it. I also think he was rushing to get the ring before a trip we took. Ultimately, I felt so guilty I told him I had gotten over the feelings and to forget it. I tried to put it out of my mind, but it won't go away.

 

[hoofbeats95]

Oh gosh! I had issues with my first engagement ring. I didn't like it. There were hurt feelings all around. By the time we got married 2 weeks ago, I had my 4th engagement ring. This one is a keeper (at least for many years till I can upgrade to like >2 carats!).

Anyways, I never regret talking to my then-FI about my ring issues. I think you should talk to yours about it. I honestly think what would bug me is that he didn't contribute any significant amount of money. Regardless of the price the jeweler gave him he got a GREAT deal in that he didn't have to foot the bill for your ring. IF you are ok with that, then that's great. Honestly it sounds like he could have afforded a ring. If I was in your place, my point in giving him the ring would be two-fold. One to get rid of the ring so to speak. I mean there are memories attached to it right? This would fully break any strings. The second would be that maybe that ring would bump up his budget a bit. Maybe the additional money from the ring would afford a slightly better diamond, whether in carat, color or clarity. . . not REPLACE his budget. That's what he did. I'd be hurt by that. Just my honest opinion, as I think you didn't mean for this ring to replace his budget.

Now about the clarity, there can certainly be eye clean stones. But stats are stats. If it bugs you mentally that isn't good. Are you sure when you look at the side you aren't seeing a reflection of something like a prong or another aspect of the stone? Is it an honest inclusion? Maybe you could privately take it to another jeweler to find out if there is an inclusion.

I don't know what your options are in regards to returning or exchanging, but you have some then I urge you to pursue it now. Talk to your FI and figure it out. I know from experience that it might hurt and it might be rough, but I guarantee you won't get over the feelings surrounding this ring. That's worse than the hurt feelings - you can get over those. My FI did. And believe me he was really upset.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I understand this scenario completely. But most of the women on this forum are particular about diamond quality primarily from what we have learned on the forum. I just know from my own experience (and mistakes) that if you are hesitant about this now, it will not go away. I would tell him that you are sorry you are sort of a perfectionist (or whatever word you can think of!), but that it is just not the quality of stone you want even though you have tried your best to convince yourself to love it. You love HIM and want the diamond to reflect the quality of your relationship and it just can't. I truly would rather pay more and get a better stone. Just don't even think about F color or it will take you to very high prices.

 

[hoofbeats95]

I was typing at the same time you posted.

Can the jeweler order in other stones? Somewhere in the middle range of what you have and the more expensive ones he carries? I'd think that would be an option. Even if it means waiting?

 

[missy]

Oh, I am so sorry about this situation. I know how I would feel and it is just the same as you are feeling. I know I couldn't be happy with that ring feeling as you do. Can your fiance return the ring and either take the original ring back to start all over or take a lesser amount for the original ring so he can start fresh in looking for another ER?

This is something you will be wearing the rest of your life and you should love it now. Since he can afford to buy a better ring and you want a better ring I don't think you should have to live with this ring. I hope I don't sound harsh as I am just speaking from the heart.

I just know from my own experience (and mistakes) that if you are hesitant about this now, it will not go away.

Total ditto to this.

Good luck for a happy resolution!

 

[300GCP]

Oh gosh! I had issues with my first engagement ring. I didn't like it. There were hurt feelings all around. By the time we got married 2 weeks ago, I had my 4th engagement ring. This one is a keeper (at least for many years till I can upgrade to like >2 carats!).

Anyways, I never regret talking to my then-FI about my ring issues. I think you should talk to yours about it. I honestly think what would bug me is that he didn't contribute any significant amount of money. Regardless of the price the jeweler gave him he got a GREAT deal in that he didn't have to foot the bill for your ring. IF you are ok with that, then that's great. Honestly it sounds like he could have afforded a ring. If I was in your place, my point in giving him the ring would be two-fold. One to get rid of the ring so to speak. I mean there are memories attached to it right? This would fully break any strings. The second would be that maybe that ring would bump up his budget a bit. Maybe the additional money from the ring would afford a slightly better diamond, whether in carat, color or clarity. . . not REPLACE his budget. That's what he did. I'd be hurt by that. Just my honest opinion, as I think you didn't mean for this ring to replace his budget.

Now about the clarity, there can certainly be eye clean stones. But stats are stats. If it bugs you mentally that isn't good. Are you sure when you look at the side you aren't seeing a reflection of something like a prong or another aspect of the stone? Is it an honest inclusion? Maybe you could privately take it to another jeweler to find out if there is an inclusion.

I don't know what your options are in regards to returning or exchanging, but you have some then I urge you to pursue it now. Talk to your FI and figure it out. I know from experience that it might hurt and it might be rough, but I guarantee you won't get over the feelings surrounding this ring. That's worse than the hurt feelings - you can get over those. My FI did. And believe me he was really upset.

You really nailed it, I wish I could hug you. I did NOT intend for it to REPLACE his budget. Exactly! I thought he could get me something wonderful between the ring and his own money. And yes, I once tried to sell his ring and I can tell you that even from private buyers I did not get an offer like the one the jeweler gave him. So I understand why he felt compelled to make the trade.

I guess I have to talk to him again. I am SO nervous. He is going to be hurt.

 

[hoofbeats95]

Explain this all to him. Be 100% honest. It'll work out. You can come out stronger on the other side. See what options you have with the jeweler. If you can start fresh maybe you should. Maybe you can both shop together. That wouldn't be so bad. Generally guys just want us to be happy. So if you can pick out a ring you love then you will be happy. If you can't return, then maybe explain to the jeweler the quality of stone you are looking for. Considering he did give you a good deal on the trade, surely he would be willing to work with you to sell you a better stone and make more money. It might take time for him to source some stones, but I'd think it would be an option for sure. Or you could cut your losses and since it was an almost even trade, take the new ring to a different store and try to trade it in! *shrug* Just a thought since there really wasn't any out of pocket money spent. Girl I feel your pain and I will say that you won't be able to hold it in. It's better to bite the bullet and deal with it now. Tell him that you want to be 100% honest in your relationship and holding this in would only damage the relationship. He'll get it. . . eventually, but he will get it. keep us posted!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I just wanted to add that I agree with Hoofbeats that if you can return and start over, you will be better off. Then you could come back here and we could help you find an excellent stone and setting. But my guess is that the jeweler won't be willing to lose this sale, especially since the new diamond has been set, etc. I do think he should be willing to call in stones for you and exchange that. We can still help you by you posting the specs (measurements) off the GIA reports and we can tell you which are best cut. But limit it to GIA Excellent cut.

 

[300GCP]

I just wanted to add that I agree with Hoofbeats that if you can return and start over, you will be better off. Then you could come back here and we could help you find an excellent stone and setting. But my guess is that the jeweler won't be willing to lose this sale, especially since the new diamond has been set, etc. I do think he should be willing to call in stones for you and exchange that. We can still help you by you posting the specs (measurements) off the GIA reports and we can tell you which are best cut. But limit it to GIA Excellent cut.

Do you think that, given it's only been about 2 weeks since my fiancee picked the stone up, the jeweler should be willing to do a real exchange?

 

[minmin001]

You really nailed it, I wish I could hug you. I did NOT intend for it to REPLACE his budget. Exactly! I thought he could get me something wonderful between the ring and his own money. And yes, I once tried to sell his ring and I can tell you that even from private buyers I did not get an offer like the one the jeweler gave him. So I understand why he felt compelled to make the trade.

I guess I have to talk to him again. I am SO nervous. He is going to be hurt.

You never know. When I didn't like the ring that my FI got me, I was not sure what to do. But I figured that a relationship is based on honesty and he should know what I'm thinking (lots of my friends were like, oh that's horrible, he will get hurt, just get a new ring in 5 years blah blah) I told him about it in a very nice way and he was completely fine with it (and was glad I could be open and honest with him), he returned the ring (I told him before the return date was up) and told me to find whatever I like since it is something that I'll have to wear for the rest of my life.

I'm really glad I did it, since I don't have to stuck with a ring I don't like and with the diamond price going up like crazy I was able to find something I like now instead of 5 years later~

 

[Dreamer_D]

I just wanted to add that I agree with Hoofbeats that if you can return and start over, you will be better off. Then you could come back here and we could help you find an excellent stone and setting. But my guess is that the jeweler won't be willing to lose this sale, especially since the new diamond has been set, etc. I do think he should be willing to call in stones for you and exchange that. We can still help you by you posting the specs (measurements) off the GIA reports and we can tell you which are best cut. But limit it to GIA Excellent cut.

Do you think that, given it's only been about 2 weeks since my fiancee picked the stone up, the jeweler should be willing to do a real exchange?

Depends on the policy the store has and whether you FI got it in writing. Unfortunately, you are not the first women to come here with a problem of this nature (not exact situation, but wanting to start over with the ring). You might need to be quite... ummm... pushy in the end to get what you want. But start out with being nice and see how that goes!

I agree with all the advice so far: Talk about it, be totally honest, and then find a resolution together. This won't be the first time you have to negotiate a tricky emotional scenerio as a couple, so might as well get the practice in

 

[slg47]

I just wanted to add that I agree with Hoofbeats that if you can return and start over, you will be better off. Then you could come back here and we could help you find an excellent stone and setting. But my guess is that the jeweler won't be willing to lose this sale, especially since the new diamond has been set, etc. I do think he should be willing to call in stones for you and exchange that. We can still help you by you posting the specs (measurements) off the GIA reports and we can tell you which are best cut. But limit it to GIA Excellent cut.

Do you think that, given it's only been about 2 weeks since my fiancee picked the stone up, the jeweler should be willing to do a real exchange?

It depends on the jeweler's policy but I would DEFINITELY ask. Also you can find good candidates in virtual inventory and then ask your jeweler to call those in?

 

[300GCP]

Thanks everyone, for all your advice. I am telling him. I hope we can work it out.

 

[J_Rock]

I think the idea was good in theory but disappointment waiting to happen in practice...As a man, I would have big issues with using a previous ring as funds towards my ring for my GF. The way I see it, there were two ways of using the funds, but neither is ideal:

1) Even trade in - The issue is obvious, previous guy bought your new ring
2) Use the ring to bump up the budget - Your new fiance couldnt have afforded the new ring if it wasnt for your previous fiance.

I look at engagement rings as a symbolic gesture that should come from the heart/wallet of one person, not monies commingled from two people. I wouldn't want my ring to have any connection with another guy. But I may be alone in this kind of thinking.

What I would have done is pawned the old ring and use the funds to fix up the house, repair cars, or put the money away for a rainy day.

 

[lbbaber]

Good luck with your talk!!! It sounds like you had a great idea and good intentions....getting rid of one ring/memory and using that to bump up his budget. I dont see anything wrong with that (who is rich enough to throw away good money?). If your current fiance can put in around what your 1st fiance did, and you take the trade in from this jeweler, than YOU CAN GET A $20,000 ring and problem solved. It makes perfect sence.

Also, even though this jeweler didnt have much to choose from in his store at that moment, he can call in stones. That's what jewelers do. Sounds like you might be stuck with this jeweler now so you might as well make good use out of him.

And, I completely understand why he went w/ a RB instead of a princess. The one requirement I had with my second marriage is that it NOT be THE SAME as the stone from my 1st marriage...so I went from a RB to a princess

It will all work out in the end. Try not to stress and PLEASE keep us informed as to how it goes. Just be honest!!

 

[motownmama]

I'd use the budgeted funds for a really killer wedding band; it seems like your guy was really proud of himself and pleased with the ring he got you - imagine him leaving the store with a big grin on his face.

 

[decodelighted]

He prioritized "great deal" over "great ring". This is a portrait of how your entire life with him COULD go. I'd explain that as much as you appreciate a "great deal" on ALMOST ANYTHING ELSE -- this is something different to you. You want a GREAT RING! I hope the jeweler will either trade you your ring back & let you start over elsewhere .... OR ... work with you to get something fabulous even if they don't have it in house currently.

Sorry he didn't "get it" initially. This is an EMOTIONAL situation ... not a RATIONAL one. Help him see the difference. I think he got the wrong idea when you offered the "practical" solution of trading in your old ring for the new one. That said "she is valuing practicality over sentimentality" -- he went with that clue when deciding whether to take that ONCE IN A LIFETIME deal that jeweler was selling him. He thought you'd approve. He was wrong.

Good luck!!!!!!!