Strange Question

[jaylex]

Hi, All.
I'm running into a little bit of a snag with how to address the invitations.

My fiance's father and uncles all go by their middle names... so for instance, his father's name is James Randolf P_____, but he goes by "Randy". Same thing with his uncles (only with different names, obviously).

Everyone knows his father and uncles by their middle names, and it feels weird to even think about addressing them with their first names (Actually, I tend to forget what his uncle's first names "really" are lol).

I'm not so much worried about the invitations... if they would prefer I address them with their "known" names, that is what I will do...

But for the programs, what the heck should I do about his father? I guess in that case I am torn between "formality" and "familiarity".

Would I put:

James Randolf P______
J. Randolf P______
J. Randy P______
J. "Randy" P______
Randy P______

Does any one else have this problem? lol
Any suggestions would be appreciated

 

[vc10um]

Well, the invitations part is easy.

Formality on the outer envelope, Familiarity on the inner envelope.

If you only have one envelope, technically your invitation is then, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong, etiquette mavens), informal, and you can use the familiar name only.

For the program, I would go with familiarity as well, unless your wedding is an uber-formal affair.

 

[chemgirl]

My dad also goes by his middle name so I just used it (in the familiar form). Nobody calls him by his first name so I felt it would be odd. I don't know the actual etiquette though.

 

[AdiamondJ]

I'm really liking the idea of 'J. Randy P___' for the program. I think it gives a nod to formality and tradition with the first initial and surname but also is able to let everyone know who you are talking about and gives a sense of familiarity and intimacy to the service (versus Randolf). Depending on the mood you're aiming for J. "Randy" P____ could be a nice and kind of cute way of listing him but I think with J. Randy P____ you're covered on both bases

 

[CurlySue]

For the program, I would ask just him if he has a preference and go with what he'd feel most comfortable with.

 

[jaylex]

Thanks for your opinions, all!

I think we will be seeing his dad this weekend, so I'll probably ask him then.

I think I like "J. Randy P_____" so far though.

 

[lucyandroger]

For the program, I would ask just him if he has a preference and go with what he'd feel most comfortable with.

Exactly. List him as he would like to be listed.