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So it is official...the wait is TORTURE!

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sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Oh my goodness...I can''t believe how long he is making we wait!! Grr!!

For those of you who don''t know my story...my FF and I have been together for 3.5 years, lived together for 2.5, and ''plan'' on getting engaged this year.

We bought the stone in January (here is the link if you are interested https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-1-86-arrived-question-for-j-wearers.56529/ ), had it appraised etc, sent it off for a custom setting, and it has been back in his possession since the 22nd of March!

Now..I know it has been just under a month, which I guess isn''t all that long, but I think it is hard because I''ve been involved in the process since January! Now THAT is a long time!!

I''m trying not to ask him about it, because I know he wants it to be a surprise, and I for one don''t want to feel like I bullied him into giving it to me...but yikers it is killing me!

He claims to ''know'' when he''s going to do it...I just hope that it is relatively soon!

I guess I should just focus on exams...my last 2 of school ever!

Thanks for listening!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
I can imagine how torturous that is!! Just trust him and his plan-it will be great when he does it!!
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
That''s what I''m trying to focus on! I''m just so envious of the ladies who''s FF''s just ''couldn''t wait any longer''!!

Oh why can''t my FF do the same?!
 

Gwyn

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 5, 2007
Messages
745
I totally understand the feeling. I am in almost the exact same situation. My ff wants to wait until we can go away for a romantic weekend to propose. THe problem is that we have no free time til JUNE!!!

He knows ive been getting anxious and yesterday he told me he would try and hurry up =)

welcome to the world of the ladies in waiting =)
 

Alienor

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 1, 2007
Messages
95
I understand how you feel.
I am sure he is going to propose soon after your finals are over. He probably doesn''t want you to be too distracted from doing good. :)
 

goldenstar

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 16, 2006
Messages
1,045
My situation is just like yours. The stone was purchased in January, and sent out for setting last week. Its arriving tomorrow morning! I''ll be waiting just like you. I''m also a student and I have finals in a little over a week. I have no idea when he''s going to propose. He is showing no signs of planning, but who knows whats going on that I don''t know about... I''ll just have to wait and see.
 

hikerchick

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 29, 2006
Messages
804
I know EXACTLY how you feel also . . . my FF also purchased the diamond in Dec/Jan . . . after a few setting struggles we had the ring in our hands the START of March and here we are WEEKS later and I am still waiting. The worst part is that he is a super procrastinator, BIG TIME procrastinator and he still has to "make time" to go get my parents'' blessing. He insists on doing this first and wants the proposal to be romantic and while we are hiking or backpacking. We have had atleast 3 other occasions where he could have proposed to me that fit the bill and nothing so now I am just waiting and if he doesn''t ask this weekend, we don''t have a free weekend for hiking for another 3 weeks . . . argh !!!!

So, you are not alone . . . this is "killing" me . . . but I also swore that I wasn''t going to nag or hint or cajole him because I want it to feel truly from his heart on his terms but it is hard to not think about it all the time.
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Date: 4/19/2007 7:19:34 PM
Author: hikerchick
I know EXACTLY how you feel also . . . my FF also purchased the diamond in Dec/Jan . . . after a few setting struggles we had the ring in our hands the START of March and here we are WEEKS later and I am still waiting. The worst part is that he is a super procrastinator, BIG TIME procrastinator and he still has to ''make time'' to go get my parents'' blessing. He insists on doing this first and wants the proposal to be romantic and while we are hiking or backpacking. We have had atleast 3 other occasions where he could have proposed to me that fit the bill and nothing so now I am just waiting and if he doesn''t ask this weekend, we don''t have a free weekend for hiking for another 3 weeks . . . argh !!!!

So, you are not alone . . . this is ''killing'' me . . . but I also swore that I wasn''t going to nag or hint or cajole him because I want it to feel truly from his heart on his terms but it is hard to not think about it all the time.
Hahah I can just imagine you suggesting walks/hikes all the time.

Hikerchick: Oh, I just realized we need some milk.
Hikerguy: Oh I will pick some up (grabs car keys)
Hikerchick: Oh no, let''s walk!

~

Hikerguy: We need to take this old couch to the salvation army.
Hikerchick: Okay, you grab one end and I''ll take the other. It is probably only a 35 minute walk.
Hikerguy: (sighs and shakes head)

Ha. That would be pretty funny. I on the other hand am trying subtley to tell my FF that no, it won''t be too stressful to be engaged and study for my bar admission exam. haha.

I''ll let you know how it goes. So far, subtle rarely works
 

DMBsGirl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 29, 2006
Messages
1,589
Try to focus on the fact that he HAS the stone and ring and that you know it is coming. I wish i knew that my ff had already gotten the ring, I will be completely in the dark about the purchasing process so it could mean, days, weeks or months or waiting with no clue!!! I am sure he won''t make you wait too long. Just try not to bring it up, I think guys like to make it a surprise and since you know so much he may try to spring it on you when you dont expect it. So bite your tongue and dont talk about it, maybe that will make him hurry up
 

Gwyn

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 5, 2007
Messages
745
Date: 4/20/2007 3:48:55 PM
Author: DMBsGirl
Try to focus on the fact that he HAS the stone and ring and that you know it is coming. I wish i knew that my ff had already gotten the ring, I will be completely in the dark about the purchasing process so it could mean, days, weeks or months or waiting with no clue!!! I am sure he won't make you wait too long. Just try not to bring it up, I think guys like to make it a surprise and since you know so much he may try to spring it on you when you dont expect it. So bite your tongue and dont talk about it, maybe that will make him hurry up
See, I dont know. I think its good to know that he purchased the stone but not good to know when he is going to get it. My FF made the mistake of asking the jeweler when we were picking out the setting how long it would take right in front of me.

We had originally planned on 4-6 weeks for the custom to be made, and that was what i was expecting. The my FF asks the guy and he tells us the exact date (which was more like 3 weeks). So now, I know he has it and he just hasn't given it to me and it is torture. Far more tourcherous then knowing it was out there and coming but not yet. Because now I see all the perfect opurtunitied he is missing. And when we go out I think about it and am let down when it doesnt happen.

Ive been really trying to not say much of anything but I know he is one of the worse procrastinators and he wants to do it when he can have a weekend to celebrate and if he doesnt do it next weekend we wont have a free one til June!

I personally feel for you. Because I think this stage you are at is the hardest. Best of luck!
 

cutes814

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2005
Messages
1,803
sunshine, you are not the only one going through this. just try to enjoy the waiting time. you must be thinking, "what the hell is she talking about? enjoy? how can i enjoy?"


i went through the same thing 2 years ago. we bought the diamond in june? the ring was ready by sept and he didn''t propose until dec! i was dieing during those three months! but i kept telling myself, calm down! at least i know he has the ring. i have to cherish these last moments of being single and not having a ring on my finger. there will be no more of this crazy-waiting-for-the-ring-excitement after he proposes!

so just remember, after he asks, that''s it! that ring will be on your finger forever, so enjoy the last days of being single. try to focus on all the other aspects in your life like your exams. and plus do you remember how much worse it was before you guys starting shopping for the stone? when you DIDN''T know when it was going to happen? makes the waiting a little more bearable right now huh?


i know, i know, it is much easier said than done. trust me, i was going a little crazy back then too. but good luck! and i hope it''s girl soon, not boy soon for you!
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Date: 4/20/2007 4:56:18 PM
Author: Milly
sunshine, you are not the only one going through this. just try to enjoy the waiting time. you must be thinking, ''what the hell is she talking about? enjoy? how can i enjoy?''


i went through the same thing 2 years ago. we bought the diamond in june? the ring was ready by sept and he didn''t propose until dec! i was dieing during those three months! but i kept telling myself, calm down! at least i know he has the ring. i have to cherish these last moments of being single and not having a ring on my finger. there will be no more of this crazy-waiting-for-the-ring-excitement after he proposes!

so just remember, after he asks, that''s it! that ring will be on your finger forever, so enjoy the last days of being single. try to focus on all the other aspects in your life like your exams. and plus do you remember how much worse it was before you guys starting shopping for the stone? when you DIDN''T know when it was going to happen? makes the waiting a little more bearable right now huh?


i know, i know, it is much easier said than done. trust me, i was going a little crazy back then too. but good luck! and i hope it''s girl soon, not boy soon for you!
It''s funny Milly, because I *totally* remember the thread about your situation. I can''t believe it was that long ago! But I remember always checking back thinking, "was it this weekend?" hoping that it had happened for you! But wow...did your wait every pay off!!

I think you are totally right about enjoying this time...that I''ll never get time like this again, single, dreaming of the next step in my life. It is a pretty exciting time! And really...if the anticipation is this distracting during exams, I can only imagine what I would be like if there was a pretty ring sitting on my finger as I was typing away!


I''m such a nerd...I painted my nails today and since I''m home alone, I put on this fake ring that I have just to see what it would look like. haha. I''ve officially lost it!

Thanks again for the support girls...I do appreciate it!
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Well...no update here yet other than saying that I am still a committed LIW. "Committed" being the operative word.


It has now been way too long...I''ve been doing my very best not to bring it up or obsess, because I know that he really wants it to be a surprise...but oh my it is difficult!

I''ve finished my finals (with no proposal) and now I''m just waiting!

My graduation is coming up...and both of our families are going to go...so I''m *hoping* that he does it then. It would be a perfect time because I would like to be able to celebrate with my family!

Maybe this is an example of why living with someone before marriage isn''t always great
...he has no fire under him to do it!

It''s been so long that the jeweler already phoned him asking whether or not I loved it! Ahh!

I keep browsing the jewelers site hoping he ''accidentally'' posts the ring. You can see how crazy I''m going now!

Anyways...hopefully I have a good update in the next few weeks...wish me luck!
 

Stephanie

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 25, 2007
Messages
1,164
It''s been so long that the jeweler already phoned him asking whether or not I loved it! Ahh!
Wow.. that is funny and sad - all at the same time!

Hopefully, he''ll do it soon. Then you can be a "committed" BIW!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
aww I definitely hope that he does it soon, your graduation date would be perfect!! How do men hold out for so long!
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Date: 6/4/2007 4:09:15 PM
Author: bee*
aww I definitely hope that he does it soon, your graduation date would be perfect!! How do men hold out for so long!
I''m not sure...I''d like to think that it is hard for him to hold out this long, but in reality I think it doesn''t really bother him! I think he''s just figured out when he wants to do it...and will deal with it when that day comes along! Of course that is assuming that he has actually picked a date!

Here''s hoping the graduation hunch is correct!
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Date: 6/4/2007 8:43:51 PM
Author: IrishAngel
I hope it happens soon for you sunshine!
Well, it did not happen at the graduation...there were a few moments where I thought "maybe this is it!" but no...not yet.

He claims to have a ''plan'' and one of my gf''s claims that his plan involves something that has to happen relatively soon (so I''m thinking maybe summer?) but geesh...this is taking forever! He must be thinking that the longer he waits, the more of a surprise it will be.

He doesn''t realize that it only makes me think/obsess about it more!

I had a dream last night about finding it and trying it on. It was beautiful in my dream at least :)

It''s funny though...we are trying to watch our money and stuff right now, so we haven''t been doing all that much so I rarely have those "is this it???" moments. Which I guess is good because I think that would be torture!

Anyways...no news...sigh...however I understand that this is his time you know? (that is what I keep telling myself anyways!).

Thanks for listening.
 

Aloros

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 2, 2006
Messages
947
Wow, he''s really holding onto that ring! Well, at least you know he has a plan, and it sucks to wait, but I''m sure that it will happen soon! Crossing my fingers for you!
 

Aim_Turbo

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
74
Wow that woulddrive me crzy too...oh wait I''M ALREADY going crazy hahah!! I''m in the same boat. I''m trying to stay busy with work and friends but i find myself thinking "it has to happen this weekend" then the weekend goes by and no bling *sigh*. Oh well it is their time right? I hope you get your ring soon, just hang in there!
 

Becky P

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
272
I can''t relate to the "ring in the house agony of when will he propose" because I''m still in the agony of when, oh when, will we go look at rings and diamonds. At least you know he''s got the ring! I''m sure he''s got something really special planned! In the meantime, why don''t you start researching wedding vendors so you have some of your work done for the wedding? You could whittle it down to a couple choices in each category (location, photographer, caterer, flowers, cake, etc), then, you''d be a little distracted and you''d be ahead of the game when it came to planning the wedding... Good luck girl! I hope it happens for you soon!!!
 

whenharrymetsally

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2007
Messages
471
Hello Sunshine! I''m sorry it didn''t happen for you after graduation, but at least you know he has the ring and it will happen! I can absolutely understand your torture. I feel the fustration! My bf has had the ring in his hands since April and there is still no sign of it happening! Just know that when it does happen for you, it will be all worth while!
 

sunshine14

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2005
Messages
247
Thanks for the support ladies! I do recognize that I am in a lucky position in that I am not wondering IF he is going to propose...but just waiting for WHEN he''ll do it. It''s just so funny because I am having issues giving up control of this! I guess I''m more of a control freak then i thought :)

Good luck to those of you who are in the same boat! Let''s hope it happens soon for all of us!
 

Harleigh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 30, 2007
Messages
3,072
Date: 7/10/2007 9:26:18 PM
Author: sunshine14
Thanks for the support ladies! I do recognize that I am in a lucky position in that I am not wondering IF he is going to propose...but just waiting for WHEN he''ll do it. It''s just so funny because I am having issues giving up control of this! I guess I''m more of a control freak then i thought :)

Good luck to those of you who are in the same boat! Let''s hope it happens soon for all of us!
Oh, how we feel your pain, sunshine...I feel exactly the same way and have been going through this process since January, too, though we didn''t actually go and pick out a stone until May, which we then didn''t get in hand until June. No matter what, this waiting thing stinks!!!


I know the ring is done and waiting at the jewelers (that is, if he hasn''t gone to pick it up yet, which, knowing my FF, is quite probably the case!)...and tomorrow (the 11th) is my birthday, and like you, I keep thinking each moment could now possibly be "the one!" Shoot, the ring has only been done a week and I''m a wreck! Like you, it''s not the IF, it''s the WHEN that''s the real torture!!!


My mom came over today and said, "Do you think he''ll do it for your birthday?" NO, I do not think he''ll do it for my birthday as he hasn''t asked my parents for their blessing, which he said he wanted to do!!!
Sadly, I don''t think he has, because my mom couldn''t keep that a secret from me if she tried, I don''t think, so I''m pretty sure tomorrow is out...so the wait continues, and it is nearly killing me!

When my FF called tonight, he mentioned that he told his best friend about the ring while visiting his hometown, and he''s been telling all of his friends about it, yet I haven''t said a word to any of my friends yet (see previous posts for that dilemma!) He doesn''t seem to get that if he tells everyone about it, they keep asking ME when they''ll see the ring on my finger! I also asked if he had told his parents that we bought a diamond and were having it set...he said yes but that they were holding off on their congratulations because he hadn''t dropped to one knee yet... I wanted to say, "ANY DAY NOW WORKS FOR ME, REALLY!!!"

So, yes, we feel your pain...thanks for letting me vent, too!
 
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