... Should You, or Shouldn''t You?...IMHO wanted..

[tlh]

Ok. You dated someone for 7 years (almost married, not so hot ending to the relationship). During the 7 years you befriended your BF''s SIL. You''ve been broken up for a couple years now.

Your ex finds out you are with someone new, freaks out, and proposes. 6 mos after the rejected proposal, you are engaged to the someone new.

You and SIL are friends. You like her a lot and value the friendship.... can she be your Guest Book attendant????

What do you think?

 

[Efe]

Absolutely!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Do you have any closer friends that could do the job instead?

I think that inviting her as a guest is totally acceptable, but giving her a role of honor could be walking a fine, fine line.

In the end, if both of you ladies are comfortable with her doing it--then go for it.

 

[tlh]

Oh, to clarify, I was asking for a friend, and I wanted to see what the consensus was on the idea.
I am married and wanted to give her the best possible answer, from all sorts of different points of view.

I love your feedback!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think she certainly can invite her to the wedding. Not sure I agree that doing the guestbook is an honor, though. I''d rather be able to mingle!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 1/21/2009 4:58:43 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
I think she certainly can invite her to the wedding. Not sure I agree that doing the guestbook is an honor, though. I''d rather be able to mingle!

Haha! I agree! We didn''t have a guestbook attendant. I think it is fine for her to ask his SIL to do something special since they are close friends. He''ll get over it.

 

[tlh]

Thanks...
Omg, you would hate me ladies... I had 2 of my friends as the GB attendants. One guy, one girl, both came w/o dates - and were from out of town. They are my dearest friends, so NO I was not trying to play matchmaker... I just didn''t realize that being the Gb attendant sucked so much!
I must be naiive!!! ha!

 

[bee*]

I would definitely invite her, although I think I''d prefer to mingle too.

 

[JulieN]

Certainly. I think it''s fine.

 

[Steel]

In these situations I try to see it from my DH''s POV. Would I like it if he invited his exFI''s sibling to our wedding? HELL YES.

So based on that I would not invite her.

 

[AmberGretchen]

I really think its fine - your friend is friends with this woman, I just don''t see the problem...

 

[NOYFB]

I don''t see a problem with it. My ex''s sister, who I became really good friends with during my relationship with him, was a bridesmaid at my wedding. Nobody has a right to tell you who to be friends with, and if your friend wants this woman involved in her wedding she has every right to do so!

 

[meresal]

Totally acceptable. She is her friend. It's not like she's asking the sister to carry her child. That, I would probably shy away from...

 

[HollyS]

She''s his sister-in-law, right? I don''t think she needs his permission to be friends with you, and you owe him exactly nada. I''m sure that if she is as fond of you as you are of her, she will be glad to help you at your wedding. So ask her.

 

[LaraOnline]

There is no way I would want an ex-frog to be at the ball... but his SIL? if she''s a decent girl she''ll hate him just as much as the ex-girlfriend does (just jokes)

I see no reason why she can''t join in the fun to any extent!

The only problem might be if the DH-to-be has a problem with it. Any twitching of the eyeball whatsoever - and the SIL is out! I don''t see any need for someone to have to suck it up at their own wedding!

But no gossip about the ex-frog - or, indeed, any direct mention - allowed! She''s undercover!

 

[tlh]

Thanks! I wanted to give her the most thoughtout answer. I myself dont have the answer to all the questions...
1) I don't know that the DH2B has a problem with their friendship (I don't think he does).
2) I don't know the extent of the girls friendship. (I gathered that they were friends to hold the head up during times of family gatherings when all the meanies would come out. Now I don't know what they have in common other than that. But I am sure it is something if she wants her to be a guest of honor at her wedding.)
3) The DH2B does not know about the proposal 6 mos ago, this happened when ex-found out that (my friend) was moving in with her then BF who is now the DH2B.

I also think it would be fine to have her as a guest, but I did think it might be awkward for the SIL-friend to be a guest book attendant, because I could just imagine the question, while waiting to be seated for the ceremony "So how do you and Bride know each other?" I know a simple, "HA, we go waaaaay back! Looks like you're ready to be seated. (smile)" would dodge that situation... so my issue isn't the question... but how the SIL-friend would feel. But I think that is a stupid reason not to ask someone to have an honor at YOUR wedding if you two are great friends. However, that said, I do not know how Dh2B would feel about it, if he knew about #3.... also I gathered that she mainly remained friends with the SIL only to tell her how great her life is w/o the ex... so that word would trickle back... if that makes sense.

I want my friend to have the most incredible day ever, she has dreamed about this day since she was a little girl. I dont want to guide her in either direction, but I also don't want for possible trouble to stir up either. So I just ask her a lot of questions to ask herself... so that she'll be able to make the decision on her own. I just wanted to throw it out there for YOUR thoughts, to see if I was missing anything.

Thanks so much ladies!

 

[EricaR]

I don''t think there would be any problem with it.