Should I stay or should I go?

[Erin]

BF and I are definitely broken up but living together (not amicably I might add). I really like/love my job but both of us living in this small town.......I don''t know. Not to mention the selection of new boyfriends ain''t that great. My brother proposed that I move to Minneapolis with him. I have (in the neighborhood) of until January 1 to decide. I''m going to MN for Thanksgiving next week for 3.5 days to give it a good look.

 

[SoonIHope]

You don''t mention anything else about your town that might sway your decision - do you have a lot of friends there? What would you miss about it if you left?

Also, without knowing what industry you''re in, I can''t make any guesses on your ease of finding a new job. But, Minneapolis is a big city, I''m sure you can find something!!

Unless you have a lot of friends/other reasons that would make you want to stay there, I think I would just take the chance and move!! After all you''ve been through, I would really just want a fresh start, and sometimes it takes a change of scenery to really get your mind off old things.


In any case, best of luck on getting through this & I''m sure whatever choice you make will end up being the best for you!!!! HUGS!!

 

[decodelighted]

I''m probably the wrong person to ask ... ''cause I move every five years! HA! ... and ... geez ... creeping up on that now ITCH ITCH ITCH

I also moved out of NYC .. to "the country" partially for a lifestyle change ... partially for a fresh dating pool.

Where ever you go - there you are ... so I wouldn''t expect a TOTAL life/attitude transformation or anything ... but, then again ... it IS possible. Change of scenery, new routines, fresh new folks to meet

How far away is it from your current place ... would you still be able to see your friends? Family?

How difficult would it be to get a new job? Is it better for your career to move? Have you ever wanted to live in a bigger city?

I WOULDN''T do it JUST to get away -- never run AWAY from something, run TO something.

 

[Kaleigh]

How''s the job market there?? Have you looked into it yet??

 

[janinegirly]

ah, you''ll find a job wherever you go if it''s a city/urban area, and life isn''t just about finding jobs anyway! It''s time to start a new life, and moving is a great way to jump start things! New home, new restaurants, new friends, new sites, new energy! If you were someone who moved everytime something went wrong, i''d say something different, but it sounds like you might be a conservative person.
Do you want to move to Minneapolis though..or is it just because your brother''s moving there? You could go anywhere, San Fran, NYC, so many choices depending on what strikes you! The upswing of something ending, is a new beginning. Time to leave the dead weight behind and explore your full potential in *LIFE* and we all only live once!!

 

[longtimelurker]

Where do you want to live longterm?
Anywhere BUT where you are now? Then MN may be a good idea.
If you have a specific/goal city, then I would stay at your current job & look for a new job in that city. Not just leave one town just to get away.



And so sorry to hear things didn''t work out.

 

[janinegirly]

deco--side topic but curiuos on your thoughts of NYC vs "country". I live in NYC and sometimes I love it and sometimes I dream of escaping, but yet it''s so addictive!
Do you every miss it? How''d the dating pool improve (if it did)? I assume it did since now you''re a lady in waiting and I have SO many single girl friends here....

 

[Erin]

I''m the executive assistant to the Pres and two VPs. Pay isn''t super fantastic cause it''s a small town (4400 peope.) I have always had an element of graphic design, creativity and event planning mixed into all my past positions - present included. I have a degree in Fine Art and my brother (who''s been living in MN since April) says his company has an opening so perfect for me. They can''t find the right person and wishes I lived there because he knows I''d love every day of it. I grew up in a semi small town and after college lived in Chicago for 4 years and burbs for two more. I have a few friends in this town but not even sure I would keep that close contact if I moved cause I just moved here two years ago. It''s an eight hour drive away from here and nine from my parents, but hey - my brother lives there and I''d probably crash his apartment while I picked out my own place.

 

[bee*]

I''d say move! You''ll always find a new job. Its time to start living!

 

[Mara]

MOVE!!

At the very least move out of the place you have with the now-ex. That''s the first step.

But long-term, why not think about moving and starting fresh? If nothing is really holding you down, and you can get a job in MN that pays well and you''d have more of a social life (and a chance at mr right) then do it...something like that could be the jump start you need to a new great life.

Good luck gal!

 

[firebirdgold]

Move!! It''ll be fun and new! Besides who knows what opportunities await?


Btw janine, Deco''s not just a LIW Graduate, she''s also a BIW Graduate!

 

[IrishAngel7982]

Well SP...first I''ll say that it''s easier to find a job when you have a job, so I wouldn''t drop everything and leave without some structure in place re: your career (not that I think you''d do that, just throwing it out there.)

With that said, if your brother''s company has an opening perfect for you, I say pursue it! It sounds like a great opportunity...not only for the new job, but also you''ll have family there and like you said, you can crash with him until you find a place!

If you''re not co-existing with your ex too well right now, you definitely need to at least get out of that situation first. Turkey Day is a wonderful time to scope out the scenery and submit that resume!

 

[TCBug]

Starset Princess --

I swear, I''m probably your mom''s age, so take this with a BIG grain of salt. Biut I do believe that good jobs (especially jobs that challenge you and fulfill you) are hard to find. I also believe (just on principle) that you shoud not make a big change in your life during a time of trouble. There''s simply too much at risk and too much to lose. And (perhaps?) you''re too emotional?

But I ask you this: are you SURE you want to be done with BF? Maybe yes. But if you leave now, you guys are "done." Are you sure you want a bigger town to prove yourself in? AND are you sure that you want a "fresh start" on EVERYTHING (friends, job, grocery store, dry cleaners, etc.)? I''m not saying that you shouldn"t -- I''m just saying it''s a lot of stuff all at once.

You are going through a hard time. We care. Let us know.

 

[therighttime]

Personally, I think moving to where your brother lives, is a good idea. It''s always good to have family close by, especially as you get older, have a family of your own, etc. But, you don''t have to do it NOW if it''s not the right time.

Definitely look around and give the move serious thought while you are there for Thanksgiving.

Good luck!

 

[Mandarine]

Hi Starset!!

My vote was for move, you''re young...why not?...it''s what I think I would do or what I would tell a friend...but then I was thinking of something my dad always says. He says you should never make big life changing decisions during "stormy" times. So not to say don''t move, but if you find yourself in sort of a "stormy" emotional state then maybe you should get your own place there for a little while and then weigh your options. Not just MN, but all the options available to you!.

Good luck and keep us posted!!!

M~

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Another bit of motherhly advice..don''t move until you have a firm job offer somewhere else. Looks MUCH better to change jobs while you have one rather than just quitting and then looking.

 

[Erin]

Minneapolis here I come!
Happy Thanksgiving Gals


TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING

Twas the night of Thanksgiving, I just couldn''t sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned - The dark meat and white -
But I fought the temptation with all of my might,
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of that snack was infatuation.

So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees,
"Happy eating to all, pass the cranberries, please!"

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump.
May your taters and gravy have nary a lump,
May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize,
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.

 

[allycat0303]

Oh Starset, I''m so happy for you, best of luck on your new adventure.

 

[Mara]

have a fabulous time Erin!! keep an open mind on the trip...

 

[anchor31]

Take care! We''ll be thinking about you.

 

[janinegirly]

thinking of you starset, how was minnesota?

 

[belle]

thanks for the bump janinegirly. i''ve been thinking of starset too, i hope it went well for her.

 

[jinx3875]

Starset,
Hi! I am a longtime lurker, and a rare poster here on PS. I see I''m getting to this a little late, but just wanted to say that I live in Minneapolis and believe it''s a great city. The job market here is pretty good right now, especially for someone with your diverse set of skills. Also, there is a multitude of activities here that are available to everyone all of the time, whether you want art, music, theater, sports, whatever. I''ve always thought that the Twin Cities offer city living with a small town feel so it could be the perfect combination for you. I wish you the best of luck and happiness here!