instantpig
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2009
- Messages
- 13
I have been engaged two weeks to the most wonderful man, and he proposed with a 1.41 carat (authentic) Tiffany solitaire. I know he put a lot of thought into it and I know he looked at this ring every day for weeks before he finally proposed, so the ring is very special to me.... but I am having thoughts of changing it.
Some background.... he was planning on dropping $20K on the ring and was debating between the Tiffany and a larger non-branded ring, and because he wrote this touching pricscope forum https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/tiffany-vs-blue-nile.108199/, I told him that it really didn''t matter to me what he got me, that it was his love that counted, and I truly believed it at the time. It is an absolutely gorgeous ring... but when I started wearing it, I realized that it is not me, and also that it is not comparable to what people at work had in size/flashiness.
Why should I care how it compares to others''? I know I shouldn''t, but I have to admit to my own insecurity. Recently I was admitted to a Top 3, Ivy League business school. What I realized when I went to admitted students weekend was that I stuck out like a sore thumb because I wasn''t an Ivy-League educated east coaster who comes from money. In fact, my background is very humble. I already feel very out of my league, and I feel like a 1.41ct ring will contribute to that feeling. I don''t want him to spend any more than the $20K he originally wanted to spend, and I know I''ll never really "catch up" to the others, but I just don''t want to feel so.... out of my league I guess. And I know that $20K can buy a much more impressive ring if it''s not a Tiffany.
I brought this up with my fiancee and it hurt him deeply. He mentioned he felt "rejected" and "inadequate", which made me feel horrible for even bringing it up. He said he would prefer that I keep his ring but will not resent me for the rest of his life if I decided to change it.
So the question is - do I kill the romance and all the thought, love, and anticipation he put in the Tiffany ring by getting a new ring? Or do I deal with my own insecurity and my great fear of that flash of unhappiness I may feel when I see other people''s beautiful rings for the rest of my life by keeping the original ring??
Has anyone had to deal with anything like this before? I appreciate all insights - even if you want to call me a spoiled brat, I can deal with that. I would especially love to hear from those who have regular experience being around wealthy, successful people who could tell me whether or not I''m being paranoid (please keep in mind that people are getting engaged/married all the time at bschool).
Thank you so much for your help. I just want to stop crying/stressing over this as it is an extremely emotional issue for both of us.
Some background.... he was planning on dropping $20K on the ring and was debating between the Tiffany and a larger non-branded ring, and because he wrote this touching pricscope forum https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/tiffany-vs-blue-nile.108199/, I told him that it really didn''t matter to me what he got me, that it was his love that counted, and I truly believed it at the time. It is an absolutely gorgeous ring... but when I started wearing it, I realized that it is not me, and also that it is not comparable to what people at work had in size/flashiness.
Why should I care how it compares to others''? I know I shouldn''t, but I have to admit to my own insecurity. Recently I was admitted to a Top 3, Ivy League business school. What I realized when I went to admitted students weekend was that I stuck out like a sore thumb because I wasn''t an Ivy-League educated east coaster who comes from money. In fact, my background is very humble. I already feel very out of my league, and I feel like a 1.41ct ring will contribute to that feeling. I don''t want him to spend any more than the $20K he originally wanted to spend, and I know I''ll never really "catch up" to the others, but I just don''t want to feel so.... out of my league I guess. And I know that $20K can buy a much more impressive ring if it''s not a Tiffany.
I brought this up with my fiancee and it hurt him deeply. He mentioned he felt "rejected" and "inadequate", which made me feel horrible for even bringing it up. He said he would prefer that I keep his ring but will not resent me for the rest of his life if I decided to change it.
So the question is - do I kill the romance and all the thought, love, and anticipation he put in the Tiffany ring by getting a new ring? Or do I deal with my own insecurity and my great fear of that flash of unhappiness I may feel when I see other people''s beautiful rings for the rest of my life by keeping the original ring??
Has anyone had to deal with anything like this before? I appreciate all insights - even if you want to call me a spoiled brat, I can deal with that. I would especially love to hear from those who have regular experience being around wealthy, successful people who could tell me whether or not I''m being paranoid (please keep in mind that people are getting engaged/married all the time at bschool).
Thank you so much for your help. I just want to stop crying/stressing over this as it is an extremely emotional issue for both of us.