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She guessed my proposal idea -- should I change it?

narual

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2012
Messages
37
Hi there!

So a little less than 6 months ago I had my first date with this pretty redhead with a smile that can light up any room. We went wine tasting/photo snapping in southwestern michigan. At the second or third winery, which was a brand new one that had just opened a couple of days earlier, they poured the samples as flights and let you take the tray of samples outside and taste at a picnic table with a scenic vista... sparkling water, wildflower-filled meadow, beautiful blue sky. It was very nice. The lady from the winery came over after we'd been there about 15-20 minutes and said she didn't want to interrupt, but that we looked great together and wanted to know how long we'd been a couple. The pretty girl laughed and said "This is our first date!" and the winery lady was a bit embarrassed but recovered quickly and offered to take our photo (I had brought my nice camera along so we could take some fun snapshots and artsy photos of anything that seemed worth snapping). She took it, and we sat back down, and started talking again... and a minute or two later, that pretty girl grabbed me and kissed me within an inch of my life.

She moved in 2 months ago, and I was planning to propose on our 6 month anniversary, at that same winery (assuming I get the ring from the jeweler in time, which probably won't happen now). Only one problem (besides the jeweler thing) -- When I suggested she keep that weekend free of commitments and that we might go wine tasting, she looked at me and said "You're going to propose to me at the winery on our anniversary, aren't you?"

D'oh! I guess it was obvious. I was going to stash the ring in the camera bag and do just that.

So do I go with my original plan, shifted to a different date since chances are slim I'll have the ring in time? And maybe do it sometime when we have some friends with us, so she won't be expecting it? Or do it on the date without the ring, and then slip the ring on her finger some night while she's sleeping? Or come up with a different idea altogether?

My original idea (partially joking but not entirely) was to take her out to breakfast some morning before work, and toss her an envelope with the ring in it, either taped to a card or with a little string/paper tag, with whichever saying "Wanna?" in big letters.

She's been engaged once before, sort of. One of those "Ladies in waiting" types who took it into her own hands. After begin with him like 5 years without him ever indicating that he was interested in getting married, while on a cruise, they were in one of those caribbean jewelry stores (diamonds international or something like that) looking at jewelry and she pointed at a ring she liked, said "Can this be my engagement ring?" He responded "sure, yeah, whatever" (something along those lines) so she bought the ring and he chipped in for about half. Something like a year later, and 8 or 9 months before the wedding date, he broke up with her because he decided he liked boys better than girls.

So no matter what I do it's going to top that. But I do want it to be something she'll remember, and something she'll have fun recounting to her friends and family later. And nothing where the ring gets placed inside any kind of food or drink.

One idea I'm kinda kicking around is taking some nice stationary and writing messages on it, like clues in a treasure hunt... get a few people in on it, and have her drive around and pick up the envelope and maybe a little gift. She plays piano for a church on sundays, so I could make plans with her to go out and do some stuff afterwards, but when she gets home, I'm not there, there's just an envelope giving her the initial instructions... have her run here and there, and make the next to last stop the winery I was going to propose at.... but instead of me being there, it'll be a bottle of chilled wine and a couple of glasses and directions to the beach that we visited after the wineries, the last place we went before heading back home. Or maybe have a couple more places between them, to pad out the time so the sun is starting to go down when she gets to the beach -- we went there to watch (and photograph) the sunset.

With that, I could get family and friends involved a bit, so they'll have their own stories to tell and she'll have people to share the excitement with through the day.

As I'm typing this out, I'm liking this idea better and better. I wonder if it would be weird to have one of the stops be at my grandmother's grave (the ring was hers, but we're recasting it with a halo and a bit more heft), with my mom there to tell her how much grandmother would have loved her, and how happy grandmother would have been to see her ring on the finger of her granddaughter-to-be.

What do you guys think?
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
Hmm..that's tough. Do you think she REALLY knows or was she kidding? She may have been kidding/hinting towards that being something she'd love? It's an incredibly thoughtful and sweet proposal idea. If you think she'd love it, I'd stick with it. The moment will still be special even if she thinks something is up.

If you want to change it, that's fine too, but if you change it I would probably only move it UP and not BACK. She may think it's going to happen there and if it doesn't she could get disappointed. If you moved it up, you can reclaim the surprise element and then use the already planned trip to celebrate and remember that first date!
 
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