Sensory issues and rings. Having trouble lately.

[MeowMeow]

So I was torn between putting this in hang out or rocky talky or here because I am honestly not sure what I will or can do yet. If I'll be able to afford my mined black diamonds or if I will need to go lab sapphire. Anyway this is rambling but it all connects to title eventually >.<

So sometime in January I lost my very precious to me black diamond band (mined). And after looking around for a while I finally called my insurance on wedsday to jut find out what steps to take if I did decide to put in a claim. Come to find out that my appraisal is extremely old and is only insured for 1400 dollars. So I know I'll be out of pocket no matter what.

So now we come to the sensory issues part. For some reason, especially lately. I am finding if my ring band isn't a specific and kinda wierd shape I cannot wear it. I had previously resized my beautiful ring and was wearing it. Only to find that even it was bothering my skin, when it didn't used to at all. So when my local store had made a couple of test bands wearable for me again. I took my ring from its locked up spot and put it in my Please Remember You NEED To Bring Me spot. Which is a small box out in a drawer in our room. Typically only plain spacer bands reside there but I had thought we got my 4 year old over her constantly getting in there and taking my stuff. And I really needed it to be there where I could remember to drag it to the jewellers to get it shaped so it could be comfy again. I had plans to take it in within a couple of weeks. Well I'm a SAHM who doesn't go anywhere much so all my days that aren't therapy days blend together. So at some point I checked my box since I check it a decent amount due to the ringnapping my daughter does and find it gone!!! We look for some weeks and it's just nowhere that we can find. And so now I have to figure out what I should do. I don't know what I should even replace it with if insurance is even willing to help me.

i love the look of my moissanite 5 stone ring but it actually causes pain to wear. The band portion is amazing and feels great but the stones seem to be too large and cut into my fingers. And the bridgeish portion on the inside feels too sharp and is unable to be made softer. They are 5x3 mm or something. So obviously emerald cut stones that size with a bezel set in the same way Is a big nope.

It was suggested to me that channel could work but I was shown a big chunky channel and did not like that at all. And I would have to be sure it had an inside that could be adjusted properly. I have a white diamond band I don't even wear because of it's bad for me shape. It's flat everywhere. I just cannot wear anything with a flat shape on the inside. Period. Even a comfort fit is too sharp these days for my skin

I'm considering doing a 5 stone with just slightly less than full coverage across the top of my finger so that when they are together I just touch smooth band. Or maybe a thinner channel could work? I don't even know. I tried on so many bands the other day. There was only one in store that didn't automatically make me feel sore but I'm worried it might make me feel sore later on if I went with it anyway.

So if anybody is still reading my rambles who has any similar issues. What kind of wedding band did you choose? Is it still comfortable after a long time? I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

 

[Cerulean]

Hi, i think you will get more traction in rocky talky, but i am VERY sensitive about rings so you are not alone. the style and shape matters a good deal for me. i used to think it was just the size of a center stone, but it's way more complicated for me than that.

if i were you and you KNOW you are sensitive, i'd stick to a 5 stone over an eternity without a doubt. make sure it has a more rounded, lower dome shank. i also find claw prongs extremely annoying and they trigger my sensory issues. i now only stick to tab prongs, bezels, or more "rounded" claw-ish...but never velociraptor prongs

ive learned through a number of expensive resets and rebuys that this is what works for me:

• a plain, lower- to medium-domed, half-round or D-shaped profile on a band is the most comfortable - anything that has squared-off edges feels uncomfortable (i have a gorgeous sapphire eternity band that takes me a lot of getting used to, it also has milgrain on the edges which adds to irritation)
• i NEED "comfort fit" on the inside of any shank, which means the sharper "edges" on the inside of the bands are smoothed out. genuine antique rings are basically a non-starter for me bc many of them feel sharp to me on the inside of the ring
• bands cannot be more than 2mm in height off the finger - this is especially important for eternities. most of them can be higher off the finger because of the depth of the stones, which is why they feel badly between fingers. if you add prongs, this compounds the icky feeling for me
• for gold, i cannot stack rings that exceed 6 mm in width, e.g. id never get a band that exceeds 3.5mm wide, and if i get a band that wide any rings i pair it with need to be 2.5mm or narrower
• i find the weight of platinum can be uncomfortable. if i wear platinum rings, they can't really exceed 2.2mm or the weight bothers me. i had a 2.7mm platinum band slimmed down to 2.1mm and it helped a TON
• i would avoid engraving unless it is done by a master and butter smooth
• i would never get a full eternity unless it was something like a french cut, channel set

im sure there is more because i am very finicky lol.

comfort fit, D-shaped profile

Avoid high domed or flat domed

even though these are both channel set french cut eternities, i bet i'd HATE the feeling of one, but not the other
The milgrain on the squared off edges, engraving, and width/depth combo of this would likely be uncomfortable to me

but this slimmer, smaller version with no milgrain and slightly worn down edges, i'd be fine with

a large, french pave eternity is my worst nightmare

 

[Cerulean]

oh, i also have very large hands so 3.5mm may be too wide for you. i feel like 2.5mm wide is a safer bet! if they get narrower than 2mm for me, they start feeling icky in the opposite way, and they aren't as sturdy so win-win

 

[Cerulean]

also another thing to consider - if you are getting red marks under rings, peeling skin, swelling, you may have a metal allergy.

nickel is the most common, but i know rarer allergies exist. i found out i was allergic to nickel the hard way...i invested in what i THOUGHT was an idiot-proof set for optimal comfort, only to find out i was ALLERGIC to the alloy and 4k went down the drain

 

[Cerulean]

also - share pictures of what DIDN'T work if you have them...

 

[MeowMeow]

@Cerulean Thank you so much for all this!! Your replies are very helpful! I'm going to save all this and take it once we know for sure insurance will give us at least the 1400 and once we can pay the out of pocket bit. And I have learned my lesson. Get a fresh appraisal every few years xD

For the metal allergies bit. Yes I have those. For that reason I prefer my almost 24/7 wears to be platinum. My 14k gold and my sterling silver only get worn for small portions of the day so it doesn't start itching and get red underneath. It's just tough to tell for the peeling part even under my platinum sometimes because I constantly handwash. So my entire hand and arm up to a certain point are just normally pretty red even with multiple times a day lotion. I recently got put on Lexapro because I was so anxious at the doctors office at my last appointment. It's helped some. So I'm washing less.

Going backwards. I agree that 2.5mm is really good. It's my preference most of the time. So whatever I do I'm definitely asking for that. I'm sadly not blessed with much real estate for vertical space xD just wearing my lab sapphire and one 2 or 2.5mm ring plus .80 to 1mm spacer can look and feel like way too much on me. I really like that smaller channel you posted! I think I will bring that picture in and see what they think. It might have to be cast though. The channel bands they were showing me in their catalogue were big and thick and that is not going to work.

The ring I was thinking of was maybe this one? Sorry for giant thumb. I was just taking it in the store for reference lol. I think they said the stone diameters were about 3.8? I'm considering trying on the next size down next time I have the occasion to go but I do want SOME coverage so not sure about going below that. It's already not going to cover the whole finger. Which is good. But I don't want to go too little either.

My worry is it does have prongs and it's shared prong, which is a bit scary. But the sides are super smooth and because I'm only interested in 5 stone and not 7 as they sell it I was hoping it could be good. it's also not insanely thick.

I definitely know flat doesn’t work. 3 of the rings I've had adjusted had flat insides. 2 were knife edge bands and one was a hammered one. They've rounded them out more. But I'm going to have to take one of the knife edge and the hammered back for more rounding I think. Whomever did the work on the test silver knife edge January did amazing. I can absolutely tell a difference versus how it was. I wear it for several hours and take it off so I don't get rashy and sore from it not being plat. But this time they're still a bit too flat and I can never tell until I wear them for a couple hours and bring them home. So back they will go in a couple months.

I could look through my collection this week and try to take pictures of everything I can't wear lmao. Which is basically all of them except 2 lmao. Even my lab sapphire 3 stone is going to have to get redone at some point, and not only because the preloved setting was wayyyy wonkier than i expected it to be. The way the baguettes are set scratches my fingers the second it tips, which is constantly. So it might end up being a solitaire eventually.

 

[AprilBaby]

My daughter in laws engagement ring went missing and she was heartbroken. She looked everywhere but nothing. Finally a year later I gave her my mined diamond to replace her ring. She got a beautiful new set she adores. 6 mo later the now 5 yr old wants to buy something with his money. They open the piggy bank and lo and behold! The engagement ring!

 

[MeowMeow]

My daughter in laws engagement ring went missing and she was heartbroken. She looked everywhere but nothing. Finally a year later I gave her my mined diamond to replace her ring. She got a beautiful new set she adores. 6 mo later the now 5 yr old wants to buy something with his money. They open the piggy bank and lo and behold! The engagement ring!

Oh my gosh! That's a halarious spot to find it! I'm glad it was found in the end!