Seeking Advice...

[jrm128]

OK, so I''m not a Bride in Waiting, quite the opposite... I am a guy about to pop the question...

I have been following this website for months in search of diamond advice, and i have this online community to not only be EXTREMELY helpful, but also very honest. I have a few questions regarding my proposal...

1. Is it anyone else''s business how much I paid for the ring? (my future fiance? her parents? I''d prefer not to talk about it, but I''m not familiar if it is customary to let others know what you paid)

2. Is it anyone''s business regarding the specs of the ring? (I do not mind giving up this info as it is a beautiful ring, and it''s beyond substatial in terms of my economic status, but again, not familiar if this is customary)

3. Is it anyone''s business as to where I purchased the ring? (I got it online from a vendor HEAVILY supported on these forums, but I feel that a lot of people have a stigma that if you didn''t get it at a jeweler you didn''t get a good ring)

Any answers to these questions, and any additional advice will be MUCH appreciated. Thank you all in advance.

I will also answer any of your questions if you feel that you might need additional info to help me out.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

No to all of the above, but some people are curious or rude and might ask how much it cost, the specs or where you got it. I have no problem giving info on specs or place of purchase, but I don''t usually give a price. I just say, it was within budget and move on. Good luck!

 

[vc10um]

Date: 3/19/2010 12:45:56 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
No to all of the above, but some people are curious or rude and might ask how much it cost, the specs or where you got it. I have no problem giving info on specs or place of purchase, but I don''t usually give a price. I just say, it was within budget and move on. Good luck!

Ditto HH on everything, especially how to respond to those who ask about price!

 

[jewelz617]

Just tell them you got the ring that was right for your fiance. That''s all that matters anyway! People shouldn''t ask for price, stats or where you got it, that''s a tad invasive (unless it''s here of course).

Now if they are asking because they are seriously looking into a purchase, that''s different. I don''t mind sharing info if it''s to help someone else out.

 

[princesss]

1) Nope
2) Nope
3) Nope (But if they''re on the hunt, it''s nice to give your vendor props and a potential customer)

 

[Indylady]

Date: 3/19/2010 1:13:17 PM
Author: princesss
1) Nope

2) Nope

3) Nope (But if they''re on the hunt, it''s nice to give your vendor props and a potential customer)

+1 to number 3

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 3/19/2010 12:55:49 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678

Now if they are asking because they are seriously looking into a purchase, that''s different. I don''t mind sharing info if it''s to help someone else out.

That''s the only time I''ve mentioned the price to anyone. They''re usually surprised (in a good way).

 

[Winks_Elf]

Date: 3/19/2010 12:31:21 PM
Author:jrm128
OK, so I'm not a Bride in Waiting, quite the opposite... I am a guy about to pop the question...


I have been following this website for months in search of diamond advice, and i have this online community to not only be EXTREMELY helpful, but also very honest. I have a few questions regarding my proposal...


1. Is it anyone else's business how much I paid for the ring? (my future fiance? her parents? I'd prefer not to talk about it, but I'm not familiar if it is customary to let others know what you paid)

No, and if anyone asks it is your right to give them the dirtiest look you can muster, or act completely shocked and offended. Then you say, "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly." or simply, "That's rather personal, don't you think?"

2. Is it anyone's business regarding the specs of the ring? (I do not mind giving up this info as it is a beautiful ring, and it's beyond substatial in terms of my economic status, but again, not familiar if this is customary)

Most people won't ask that, except for perhaps "How big is that diamond?" Us PS'ers are the curious ones because, well, that's why we're here...to share and learn from each other!

3. Is it anyone's business as to where I purchased the ring? (I got it online from a vendor HEAVILY supported on these forums, but I feel that a lot of people have a stigma that if you didn't get it at a jeweler you didn't get a good ring)

No, and if anyone asks, the appropriate response is "I have a few connections.", "A great jeweler.", or you simply smile knowingly and say NOTHING, or my favorite smartass answer: "A bubblegum machine!"

Any answers to these questions, and any additional advice will be MUCH appreciated. Thank you all in advance.


I will also answer any of your questions if you feel that you might need additional info to help me out.

Most important to note: there will be people who will take one look at her ring, and jump to assumptions. Do not let anyone rain on your (or your fiancee's) parade. This is going to be a very happy and memorable time for her, as well as you, and there are always the trolls who can't stand to see someone else happy when they're miserable. Frienamies suck.

 

[decodelighted]

For everybody but the bride: not their business. For the bride: I would be honest with her about the stats (she''ll see anyway eventually once you get it appraised) -- and probably about price if she REALLY wanted to know. You''ll be sharing finances in the future and its one place to kinda "get the party started" you know what I mean? If you really are uncomfortable about her knowing then tell her *that*. That you don''t want her to think about the $$, but that it was "within my budget" or whatever you want to say.

I''d come up with some cute responses to people who WILL ask you though. Just so you''re prepared & don''t get anxious in the moment.


HOW MUCH
* Lets just say my accountant isn''t speaking to me
* Twice as much as your car cost

STATS
* How can you quantify perfection?

WHERE
* That''s my little secret but if you''re in the market we''ll talk
* You mean which *cave*? I''m still cleaning off my pick ax ...

 

[jrm128]

Thank you all so much for the great responses, I knew you wouldn't let me down!

All of the responses were in the ballpark of what I was expecting. I'll be sure to post a picture or two after she puts it on!

 

[rierie26]

1. Nope. Although, I don''t know about letting your fiancee know if she asks. I wouldn''t see a problem with it since you''re going to be sharing so much more with her anyway.

2. Nope.

3. Nope.

Congratulations in advance!

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 3/19/2010 1:47:45 PM
Author: decodelighted
For everybody but the bride: not their business. For the bride: I would be honest with her about the stats (she'll see anyway eventually once you get it appraised) -- and probably about price if she REALLY wanted to know. You'll be sharing finances in the future and its one place to kinda 'get the party started' you know what I mean?

Agreed. I would say all three ARE the bride's business (if she asks), but no-one elses. At all. I would even go further and say telling anyone else, particularly the financial aspects, should be actively avoided.

 

[monarch64]

I agree with all the points made so far. It really is no one''s business what you paid, the stats, or where the ring came from except yours and your future intended''s. This is a conversation you might also find a time to have with her either in a hypothetical way before you propose, or shortly after, because if you''re worried about being asked YOURSELF, then she may very likely face the same questions from friends and family. (Let''s hope not!) In any case, the two of you should be a united front and be able to support each other''s decision not to divulge intimate details about the ring that you''d rather not share with others.

Best of luck with your proposal!!!

 

[princesss]

Date: 3/19/2010 2:05:41 PM
Author: LilyKat

Date: 3/19/2010 1:47:45 PM
Author: decodelighted
For everybody but the bride: not their business. For the bride: I would be honest with her about the stats (she''ll see anyway eventually once you get it appraised) -- and probably about price if she REALLY wanted to know. You''ll be sharing finances in the future and its one place to kinda ''get the party started'' you know what I mean?

Agreed. I would say all three ARE the bride''s business (if she asks), but no-one elses. At all. I would even go further and say telling anyone else, particularly the financial aspects, should be actively avoided.

Agreed. Somehow I missed that you were asking if the bride should be told - if she asks, honesty is the best policy with her. Everybody else can be politely told that it''s none of their bees wax.

 

[PumpkinPie]

I agree with all the other posters - and please come back with photos!