Wedding registering for china, crystal, and silver?

[LabRatPhD]

Hi ladies!

Are you registering for fine china, crystal, or silver (or all 3)?

So FI and I have been putting together our registries for our wedding and having a lot of fun doing so. Right now we live in a pretty small apartment but will be moving to a place with much more square footage, granite countertops, stainless appliances, the works. We are really excited because it''s the first really nice place we will be living! Our current kitchen/tableware items are all things that I had while I was in college (I am in my 4th year of grad school now!) and we simply haven''t felt like replacing any of it because of space issues. Our registry is basically going to be "upgraded replacements" of our current things and more small kitchen appliances since we will have the space.

Originally FI and I were not planning on registering for china, crystal, or silver. FI''s parents never had that stuff when he was growing up so he didn''t even know it existed. I grew up with my mom pulling out her fine china and real silver for holidays or "just because", but I never saw it as something I would want because of the maintenance required to take care of it. My mother was seriously appalled that we weren''t registering for any of the three, so then FI and I picked a china pattern that isn''t terribly formal but I could see us actually using. We also found a silver design we liked and registered for settings. I can''t wrap my head around crystal barware and stemware. I can appreciate getting two nice flutes for FI and I but my mother thinks we need cut crystal highball, wine, martini glasses, etc. Seriously?

I will say that FI and I are not seasoned entertainers, but we would like to entertain once we move to a bigger space. We especially like the idea of having both sets of parents and siblings gather at our place for the holidays. I do think it will be nice to have good china, but don''t know whether I would use good silver and heavy cut crystal glasses.

Does anyone who did register for these things use them enough to enjoy having them? How long did it take for you to complete your table settings (especially for silver which is pretty darn expensive)?

 

[laughwithme]

Your post could have been mine, almost word for word. We also currently live in an apartment and will be building a home with granite, stainless, etc. We also want to entertain once we have more space. We also had to make the fine china versus no china decision. Here was our thought process, and a few things to think about:

-how often you use it. For us, the only times we would use fine china are holidays. And, every year, we go to parents/grand parents house for holidays (we live 3 hours away.) It may be different if we lived in the same city, because I would want to host, but since we don''t...we aren''t gonna ask the whole family to drive down. So, that means we would almost never use the china until like 20 years from now when our kids are older and parents have passed away. Also, we won''t have a formal dining room in our new home (we are building and already know the layout.) It would seem weird for us to serve on fine china in a casual dining room.

-expensive. I think they recommend that you register for 8-12 sets of fine china. At $50-$150 per place setting, that is a lot of money that''s gonna sit in a box in the basement (I did the math, anywhere from $400 to $1,800.) I would MUCH rather have that money spent on other, more useful gifts that I will use weekly. If a guest walks into a store and they can buy a $100 place setting, or a $100 blender...I want the dang blender!

-our lifestyle. We are young, working adults. We want a family in 5 years. I cook all the time. We chip plates. Sometimes when dinner is running late, I want to stick a plate in a warm oven. We like dishwashers. We''re busy. We have friends over that sometimes drink too much wine and drop things. We don''t have room for super fancy china in our lives, and its not practical for us. We have registered for all white everyware dinnerware that is dishwasher, microwave, and low oven-safe. And you know what...when we have dinner parties, we''ll probably use it. We may get some colored charger plates, pretty serveware, nice napkins, and break out the Riedel glasses to fancy it up a bit, but I don''t want to be looking over my guests'' shoulder saying "don''t scratch that plate with your fork!!" If they break my plates, no issue. I''ll go buy another one for ten bucks.

(going back to the wine glasses, we are registering for Riedel glasses which cost $50 for 2. We are registering for sauv blanc and merlot. I feel like these glasses are very nice...upscale everyday wine glasses. We are registering for 4 sets of each, for a total of 8 of each type.)

I think if I could find china and fine silver that runs right about $50 a setting that I LOVE and would definitely bring out for guests, and I had a formal dining room, and didn''t live 3 hours from my whole family...I may have a different set of bullet points for you!!!

 

[laughwithme]

PS - forgot to mention, I know a lot of young couples who chose to forego fine china and silver for the exact same reasons I mentioned above. I think in many ways, times are changing. I totally understand why your mother is apalled at the idea - because in her day, it was crazy to not register for china! Thats what you did back then. Our parents are surprised at a few traditions we are/are not doing for our wedding, but we just have to remind them...hey guys, we love you, but its 2010! Not to discredit your mom''s reaction, because I know its SO hard when parents disagree with you, I''m just saying that don''t let your mom''s reaction be the deciding factor for you.

 

[pinki]

We decided against all 3 for a couple reasons that were already listed, but here's what we came up with:

We registered for the Lenox Chirp settings as they are considered an every day China. They are made of bone china so they are hard to break...the sales girl threw all of them on the floor to demonstrate, I was sold. We will use these as our every day plates. I'm a kind of funky eclectic person and don't like matchy matchy so I buy all my silverware at antique and thrift stores so that they all match without matching, if that makes sense. We're also kind of weird in that we don't like to have things we won't use on a daily basis (less I have to clean/move/break). I have my grandmother's set of depression glass serving bowls and plates, along with dinner plates and an orange juicer and I use them every single day. If I break one, so be it...I just hate having things just for display or once a year. It's hard to enjoy something that's sitting in a box!

I love the theory of having fine china, and I also remember my grandmother pulling hers out for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but in the end it came down to staying focused on things we really needed. Our current plates are the Oneida Sakura "Vintage Labels" and they are 10 years old and starting to chip so we really needed a new set. I'm also crossing my fingers that I get my grandmother's fine china down the road too.

We also registered for the Riedel glasses. They seem more timeless and we drink wine every night so they are another necessity...all of mine were broke in a move.

 

[elrohwen]

We decided against all 3 for most of the reasons laughwithme shared. I''m just don''t want to put in the effort required to take care of these things. I''d rather have one main set of dishes that looks nice, but it also dishwasher safe and won''t cost me an arm and a leg to replace.

I do have a slightly different view of crystal however - I love wine and drink it every week. I have have nice crystal wine glass (not cut crystal, most of the modern style) and I love them. Since I use these every week, I feel they''re absolutely worth it and they feel so luxurious. However, when we have guests over, unless it''s just one other couple I leave the crystal in the cabinet and pull out my 4 or $10 Target wine glasses

It''s just too easy to be careless and break crystal and if anyone''s going to break it, it should be me - I don''t want my guests to feel bad because they broke an expensive glass. For this reason, I only have a set of 4 of these glasses. Just sharing my personal experience, but if I were registering I might get a nice crystal set, but then get some regular dishwasher safe wine glasses for entertaining.

 

[monkeyprincess]

We''re debating this right now. The practical side of me says no, there''s no need or room for it, but then in the back of my mind, I keep thinking I''ll regret not registering for it because if we don''t get it now, we never will. In the end, I''m sure the practical side will win. I''ll be moving into his house when we get married, and he doesn''t have a lot of extra storage space in the kitchen or dining room. Plus, my fiance teases me mercilessly for being a klutz, and it''s true - I''d probably break a plate the first time we used it. For similar reasons, we probably won''t be getting crystal. And we definitely won''t be getting silver - too expensive and difficult to care for.

 

[Prana]

When my FI and I registered, the ''registry'' guy wouldn''t let us out of the room without first registering for china. I took it off the registry as soon as a we got home. I did not register for silver or crystal either. I know I would never use it. If I need to entertain the president, my everyday plates and silverware will suffice.

 

[LabRatPhD]

Glad to know I am not alone in this!

Laughwithme - we have been going through the same thought process! The china we have registered for is actually not terribly expensive compared to what is out there and there is no metallic border or anything, so it is slightly more fuss-free. I feel like I would actually like to break out these plates because they are elegant but also easy to care for. We too are registering for Riedel wine glasses, which to me, are perfectly fine for entertaining with.

I guess I feel a little weird since I grew up with my mom always getting out her nice china and silver and her reminiscing about how she got it for her wedding, etc. I suppose it would be nice to have these long-lasting pieces,
but I definitely don''t want them to sit around and collect dust either!

FI is also worried that we will receive only 1-2 pieces out of our silver set that we''ve requested and won''t want to shell out the cash to finish the sets. I told him it shouldn''t be a big deal, as we can probably return the items we do get and scratch the silver all-together.

I like how cut crystal glasses look (like Waterford). I just don''t know if I like it enough to make a whole entertaining set with our own money. Hmm...

 

[laine]

We are going to register for china--some that is dishwasher safe and not super fancy or expensive. I won't use it everyday, but plan to pull it out for even the slightest occasion.
Silver, I like but I just can't justify the cost. I have a collection of mismatched silver plated stuff from thrift stores. It makes me happy. I am going to register for nice stainless stuff since what we currently use is hand-me-downs.
Crystal, I don't like the look of at all, would never use, and don't want.

If you love it and will use it, go for. If not, skip it.

ETA: I knew Sterling flatware was expensive, but holy crap! I just check BB&B and the cheapest set was nearly $400 for a 5 piece place setting!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I have my mother''s china so I don''t need that

Right now we are going to register for everyday wine glasses

I am not registering for silver right now, but my FI is trying to talk me into it.

 

[Haven]

We only registered for china because I knew we''d be entertaining a lot.

My mom currently has all of our family''s crystal and silver, and we just don''t need any more of it, so we didn''t register for either.

We only received four sets of china as wedding gifts, so then I decided to have some fun and mix-and-match with complementary patterns, so we now have three different patters of four settings each.

 

[cakegirl]

We already have everyday dishes-plain white from Crate and Barrel, and stainless flatware. I have my grandmother''s silver. We are going to register for nice but simple glasses (maybe Reidel, maybe just Crate and Barrel''s nicer stuff) and definitely fine china. Since we already have plain white we are choosing something more interesting, possibly this:

http://www.michaelcfina.com/tableware/formal-china/decorated/philippe-deshoulieres-pergola-CHPHDEPERG.html

We love to entertain, and there are so many beautiful patterns, I think we will really use and enjoy it.

 

[kittybean]

We decided to forego the china and silver, but we did register for Waterford crystal, and we have no regrets about that at all. Our pattern is Lismore, which is the very traditional cut crystal. We have champagne flutes (two of which we used at our wedding!), highball glasses, old-fashioned glasses, a pitcher, and a sugar/creamer set (this was actually given to DH''s parents as a wedding gift 35 years ago). We''re hoping to add wine glasses in the future. Cut crystal is so pretty and sparkly--I think I like it for the same reason I like diamonds.

 

[Octavia]

We registered for china, but not silverware or crystal. Neither of us will have any heirloom china sets coming to us, and I really want to be able to pass it down someday. Even though the china mostly sits in boxes right now, I hope/intend to use it a lot more once we''re in a bigger place where it''s not such a hassle to haul it up from the storage unit every time we want to use it.

Silver just didn''t seem necessary -- we did register for nice new flatware, but of the stainless steel variety. And neither of us particularly like cut crystal, so we were happy enough to stick with our cheapie C&B wineglasses that we''ve had for a couple years. Maybe someday we''ll upgrade, but for whatever reason we didn''t feel like drinks glasses were registry-worthy the way china was.

No regrets thus far

 

[LabRatPhD]

After reading all the posts here, I took the silver off our registry. We don''t really even want it and we are pretty sure no one we know would see the purpose of shelling out over $100 for a fork!

We are keeping the china because both FI and I like it and since it is not so ornate, I don''t feel like I have to worry about damaging it. Still on the fence about crystal. FI and I are both wine enthusiasts so some cut crystal wine glasses may be nice to have. I love the Waterford Lismore pattern but FI doesn''t and I want something we both love. I need to find something more contemporary...

 

[zipzapgirl]

We did china and nice matching flatware, but skipped the crystal altogether.

@pinki - I was just going to find the Lenox Simply Fine collection when I read your post. We liked them a lot and they are so practical with the dishwasher/over/microwave safe usage. They have even more styles now. We ended up going more traditional, but i think it could be an option for the people who want to use the china everyday.

http://www.lenox.com/guidedNav/index.cfm?navBase=10010