REALLY Ticked off at best friend...what should I do?

[Girlrocks]

My best friend gave me a $50.00 gift card to Ruth Chris''s Steak house for my birthday last year. DH and I were talking over the weekend that we need to use it soon because it has been almost a year and some cards expire after that. Well today I was looking at the card, sure enough it expires after 1 year. Since my B-day is in a few weeks, I called the 800 # to check the balance, thinking it could already be expired because maybe she bought it a few weeks prior to my birthday if she was in the area of the restaurant. As I was on hold, I was looking at the card and noticing that it looked really beat up, like it had been in somebody''s wallet for a while. Um, well yeah, no wonder, it''s expired....because it was activated in March 2002!

So now I''m sort of ticked off about it. She and her husband are super cheap...really, really, really, cheap.

But what should I do? Should I mention it or just let it go? I know my DH is going to be really PO''d when he finds out...he already doesn''t like to hang out with them because they are so cheap.

 

[Bia]

LMAO.

Sorry. That is funny though. It''s funny because people really ARE like this! IMO this goes way beyond cheap (what''s the word for cheaper than ''cheap?''). Anyway, it''s ridiculous. I don''t care if you''re going through a rough patch financially, there is no reason to recycle a gift card--unless it''s a really good one!

I wouldn''t say anything. The fact that you know is embarrassing enough. Be the bigger person and let it go.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:01:53 AM
Author:Girlrocks
My best friend gave me a $50.00 gift card to Ruth Chris's Steak house for my birthday last year. DH and I were talking over the weekend that we need to use it soon because it has been almost a year and some cards expire after that. Well today I was looking at the card, sure enough it expires after 1 year. Since my B-day is in a few weeks, I called the 800 # to check the balance, thinking it could already be expired because maybe she bought it a few weeks prior to my birthday if she was in the area of the restaurant. As I was on hold, I was looking at the card and noticing that it looked really beat up, like it had been in somebody's wallet for a while. Um, well yeah, no wonder, it's expired....because it was activated in March 2002!

So now I'm sort of ticked off about it. She and her husband are super cheap...really, really, really, cheap.

But what should I do? Should I mention it or just let it go? I know my DH is going to be really PO'd when he finds out...he already doesn't like to hang out with them because they are so cheap.

 

[Girlrocks]

I am ticked, but sort of LMAO too because if I had gone to that stinkin'' restaurant and pulled out a gift card that was SEVEN years old...how embarrassing!

Where is that re-gifting thread...

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:10:03 AM
Author: Girlrocks
I am ticked, but sort of LMAO too because if I had gone to that stinkin'' restaurant and pulled out a gift card that was SEVEN years old...how embarrassing!

Where is that re-gifting thread...

here

 

[Missy0483]

Wow, you gotta be kidding me! What was she thinking? Imagine if you would have went to the Steak house and tried to use it. How embarassing!

 

[musey]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:12:33 AM
Author: Missy0483
Wow, you gotta be kidding me! What was she thinking? Imagine if you would have went to the Steak house and tried to use it. How embarassing!

If it were me, that''s precisely what I''d tell my friend had happened

 

[Girlrocks]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:11:08 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 6/9/2009 11:10:03 AM
Author: Girlrocks
I am ticked, but sort of LMAO too because if I had gone to that stinkin'' restaurant and pulled out a gift card that was SEVEN years old...how embarrassing!

Where is that re-gifting thread...

here

Thank you...I had to resurrect that thread!

 

[Mrs.Guz]

OMG! Who in their right mind would do something like that? Pathetic!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Okay, first of all I can see why you''re upset...it was a pretty shady thing to do...

But...

Some people are just "cheap" (as you referred to it). Clearly your friends are conservative spenders and maybe your birthday wasn''t a priority for them--something that they deemed worthy of spending money on...but rather than ignoring it all together, your friend tried (and failed) to put something together that she thought you would get use out of.

While I don''t agree with what your friend did...I also wondering if she didn''t try to come up with something because you do look down on her for being "cheap"?? I mean, I didn''t even think of it till you made the comment about your DH not liking them because they were frugal. That can be pretty hurtful--being disliked over your personal spending habits.

I would try to really put the issue into prespective. Sure it sucks--and it''s an odd thing to do on her part. But what do you hope to gain by bringing it into the light? Embarass her? Make her give you a viable gift card? If there is nothing to gain, then keep quiet.

 

[Girlrocks]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:15:01 AM
Author: musey

Date: 6/9/2009 11:12:33 AM
Author: Missy0483
Wow, you gotta be kidding me! What was she thinking? Imagine if you would have went to the Steak house and tried to use it. How embarassing!

If it were me, that''s precisely what I''d tell my friend had happened

I just got off the phone with DH and he said this is exactly what HE is going to do himself this weekend.

 

[tigian]

awwww...I would be disappointed if my best friend did this to me. I would have preferred a simple birthday card over a seven year expired gift card.

I think I might mention it to her to prevent the embarrassment of doing the same thing to another person who might not be as familiar with her cheapness. It really makes her and her husband look bad.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:15:01 AM
Author: musey

Date: 6/9/2009 11:12:33 AM
Author: Missy0483
Wow, you gotta be kidding me! What was she thinking? Imagine if you would have went to the Steak house and tried to use it. How embarassing!

If it were me, that''s precisely what I''d tell my friend had happened

OMG that''s exactly what I would do!!! You should do it!!!

 

[tlh]

OMG, I actually laughed at that. HOLY COW. THAT IS CHEAP! I don''t think I would bring it up, but I don''t think I''d expect gifts from them in the future. And anytime they give you something, just keep in mind it could be worth $0.

I can see why you are so irritated. HEre you think your incredibly cheap friend gave you a really nice gift, only to find out it was an expired card... that they re-gifted. I think I''d not stress about it, and just laugh at the comedy of it all... cuz, wow, that IS cheap.

 

[Girlrocks]

Italia...you''re right, there is nothing to be gained by embarrassing her about it. I see your point. Thanks for that perspective.

They are only cheap in certain areas...it''s very strange. I won''t go into too much detail, but they definitely are not "frugal". You have to know them to love them, but they are the true definition of "cheap".

 

[MichelleCarmen]

WHY would she have given you the card w/out reading the back to check if it had expired? Obviously something more is going on and you should think about what exactly her point to giving you the card was.

I do agree with Italia that confronting her serves no purpose. Either she didn''t read the back of the card to check OR she''s peeved about something you have done to her.

Regardless if there is some deep issues going on or what, it''s flat out rude she regifted you an old card! For all you know, she USED the card and it would have had a $2.00 balance on it!

I cannot stand cheap people and find, generally, it''s not because they are broke, but are selfish. We''ve been regifted by a person who goes on lavish vacations all the time. She also bought my son a DIRTY white stuffed bunny from a garage sale. It was discusting.

 

[tlh]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:31:56 AM
Author: MC
WHY would she have given you the card w/out reading the back to check if it had expired? Obviously something more is going on and you should think about what exactly her point to giving you the card was.

I do agree with Italia that confronting her serves no purpose. Either she didn''t read the back of the card to check OR she''s peeved about something you have done to her.

Regardless if there is some deep issues going on or what, it''s flat out rude she regifted you an old card! For all you know, she USED the card and it would have had a $2.00 balance on it!

I cannot stand cheap people and find, generally, it''s not because they are broke, but are selfish. We''ve been regifted by a person who goes on lavish vacations all the time. She also bought my son a DIRTY white stuffed bunny from a garage sale. It was discusting.

ha, that would be funny too! You did say it was activated...

 

[crown1]

i would do nothing. this makes me think of the proverb about not looking a gift horse in the mouth. i do believe it was a really stupid thing to do, and if i was a gutsy person, i would invite her to lunch to share the gift card, and let her find out that it expired way back when. it would be worth the price of lunch to share the revelation with her. that would probably backfire though, as she would probably claim that was not the card she gave you.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:15:01 AM
Author: musey

Date: 6/9/2009 11:12:33 AM
Author: Missy0483
Wow, you gotta be kidding me! What was she thinking? Imagine if you would have went to the Steak house and tried to use it. How embarassing!

If it were me, that''s precisely what I''d tell my friend had happened

Ditto!!

 

[jcarlylew]

only becuase i have re-gifted gift cards to friends...

maybe it was an honest mistake? maybe, though she may have poor spending habits, felt aweful about not having money for a gift, and thought she was giving a valid gift card?

although, it is no excuse to make sure the card is valid BEFORE you give it...

 

[House Cat]

Oh, don''t be angry with her...now you know exactly what to give her for her birthday!!!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 6/9/2009 11:16:00 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Okay, first of all I can see why you''re upset...it was a pretty shady thing to do...

But...

Some people are just ''cheap'' (as you referred to it). Clearly your friends are conservative spenders and maybe your birthday wasn''t a priority for them--something that they deemed worthy of spending money on...but rather than ignoring it all together, your friend tried (and failed) to put something together that she thought you would get use out of.

While I don''t agree with what your friend did...I also wondering if she didn''t try to come up with something because you do look down on her for being ''cheap''?? I mean, I didn''t even think of it till you made the comment about your DH not liking them because they were frugal. That can be pretty hurtful--being disliked over your personal spending habits.

I would try to really put the issue into prespective. Sure it sucks--and it''s an odd thing to do on her part. But what do you hope to gain by bringing it into the light? Embarass her? Make her give you a viable gift card? If there is nothing to gain, then keep quiet.

How could she possibly "get use" out of a 7 year old GC?? Sorry, I can''t excuse/justify this one, and I''m really surprised anyone woud try. Just mho!

All I can say is, wow.

 

[Sha]

Ugh....that''s distasteful.

Your best friend? She couldn''t afford $50 for a new card? Or even a little token that cost $25? Even if she couldn''t -I would rather have my friend tell me that she was unable to give me something, because of tight finances etc, than for to pawn off an old, beat-up card, pretending as though it was something she bought specially for you.

 

[bee*]

Date: 6/9/2009 12:13:11 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 6/9/2009 11:16:00 AM

Author: Italiahaircolor

Okay, first of all I can see why you''re upset...it was a pretty shady thing to do...


But...


Some people are just ''cheap'' (as you referred to it). Clearly your friends are conservative spenders and maybe your birthday wasn''t a priority for them--something that they deemed worthy of spending money on...but rather than ignoring it all together, your friend tried (and failed) to put something together that she thought you would get use out of.



While I don''t agree with what your friend did...I also wondering if she didn''t try to come up with something because you do look down on her for being ''cheap''?? I mean, I didn''t even think of it till you made the comment about your DH not liking them because they were frugal. That can be pretty hurtful--being disliked over your personal spending habits.


I would try to really put the issue into prespective. Sure it sucks--and it''s an odd thing to do on her part. But what do you hope to gain by bringing it into the light? Embarass her? Make her give you a viable gift card? If there is nothing to gain, then keep quiet.

How could she possibly ''get use'' out of a 7 year old GC?? Sorry, I can''t excuse/justify this one, and I''m really surprised anyone woud try. Just mho!


All I can say is, wow.

I agree Ellen-surely if you were going to regift a card that you knew you had for quite a while, you''d check that it was still valid. It can be wrong to dislike people because of their spending habits, but some people really take the biscuit when it comes to being cheap.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 6/9/2009 12:13:11 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 6/9/2009 11:16:00 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Okay, first of all I can see why you''re upset...it was a pretty shady thing to do...

But...

Some people are just ''cheap'' (as you referred to it). Clearly your friends are conservative spenders and maybe your birthday wasn''t a priority for them--something that they deemed worthy of spending money on...but rather than ignoring it all together, your friend tried (and failed) to put something together that she thought you would get use out of.

While I don''t agree with what your friend did...I also wondering if she didn''t try to come up with something because you do look down on her for being ''cheap''?? I mean, I didn''t even think of it till you made the comment about your DH not liking them because they were frugal. That can be pretty hurtful--being disliked over your personal spending habits.

I would try to really put the issue into prespective. Sure it sucks--and it''s an odd thing to do on her part. But what do you hope to gain by bringing it into the light? Embarass her? Make her give you a viable gift card? If there is nothing to gain, then keep quiet.

How could she possibly ''get use'' out of a 7 year old GC?? Sorry, I can''t excuse/justify this one, and I''m really surprised anyone woud try. Just mho!

All I can say is, wow.

I''m leaning towards the fact that she didn''t know it had expired. Most GC''s don''t expire...they take a small fee yearly. I''d like to think she just "overlooked" the detail.

Does that make it okay? No. But I don''t think she woke up trying how to screw Girlrocks over either...they are, afterall, best friends.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 6/9/2009 12:33:52 PM
Author: Sha
Ugh....that's distasteful.

Your best friend? She couldn't afford $50 for a new card? Or even a little token that cost $25? Even if she couldn't -I would rather have my friend tell me that she was unable to give me something, because of tight finances etc, than for to pawn off an old, beat-up card, pretending as though it was something she bought specially for you.

My best friend is super broke and never gets me anything. She never even remembers my birthday! lol If she gave me a GC from 2002, I would think she had lost her mind!

ETA - some people aren't all that savvy when it goes to GCs. Maybe the friend is that way? I have a bunch of them that are about one year old and was asked by a relative if they've expired. None of them even have an expiration date (they all are from sephora and nordstrom), so possibly the friend assumed it didn't have one.

STILL, it's regifting - tacky.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 6/9/2009 12:43:21 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor

I''m leaning towards the fact that she didn''t know it had expired. Most GC''s don''t expire...they take a small fee yearly. I''d like to think she just ''overlooked'' the detail.


Does that make it okay? No. But I don''t think she woke up trying how to screw Girlrocks over either...they are, afterall, best friends.

I agree 100%.

 

[Girlrocks]

The strangest part is this is my best friend, but we have NEVER gifted each other for birthday's, holiday's, etc. We do for each other's kids, but not for each other. The most we have ever done in the past is get together with a few other couples for each other's birthdays and go out to dinner and drinks, but that's all dutch treat. So it's not like she was short on cash and had to come up with a gift, there was nothing expected. This was not a "big" birthday for me, we were not having a party...I'm not quite sure why she went out of her way to give me the gift card in the first place.

But I do love the idea of using the gift card to take her to lunch...that's innocent enough, right?

Edited to Add: I completely do not think that she had any idea that the gift card had expired, that would be stupid, really. We are good enough friends that if she had a beef with me, she would tell me openly about it, so I don't think she purposely gave me an expired gift card to be mean or spiteful.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 6/9/2009 12:43:21 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor

Date: 6/9/2009 12:13:11 PM
Author: Ellen

How could she possibly ''get use'' out of a 7 year old GC?? Sorry, I can''t excuse/justify this one, and I''m really surprised anyone woud try. Just mho!

All I can say is, wow.

I''m leaning towards the fact that she didn''t know it had expired. Most GC''s don''t expire...they take a small fee yearly. I''d like to think she just ''overlooked'' the detail.

Does that make it okay? No. But I don''t think she woke up trying how to screw Girlrocks over either...they are, afterall, best friends.

And some do, I''d have checked.

(were I to regift a card in the first place) But maybe you''re right, maybe she just struck out twice in one bat and didn''t realize....

 

[Kelli]

I''d let it go, but remember it when it''s her birthday!