Rant about inappropriate clothing on children!

[ericad]

GAH! The other day I was driving to the store and from a distance saw a female walking down the road wearing VERY short black shorts and candy cane striped red & white above-the-knee stockings with white marabou around the top of each "sock". Looked like something from a Fredericks of Hollywood catalog (not to mention it was under 40 degrees outside). As I got closer I realized she was just a 15 (ish) year old kid! She was walking to the school bus, for Pete''s sake! She had on what looked like a cheerleading type of jacket and I wondered if this was part of her performance outfit. It was utterly age-INAPPROPRIATE!

My 4 1/2 year old daughter takes swimming lessons. I swear, if I see one more little girl at the pool wearing a skimpy bikini I''m gonna scream! Some of these little girls are wearing little triangle bikinis with ties around the neck and ties on the bottom parts around the hips - styles that only belong on adult women, IMO. One of the teachers had to stop class several times to re-tie this poor child''s strings because her bathing suite kept falling off (she''s about 4 years old).

What are parents thinking?! Children should dress like children. Kids involved in sports should dress like athletes. Kids going to school should dress appropriately. I should NOT be able to see your daughter''s undies because her little denim mini skirt is so short that I can see her bottom while waiting in line behind you at the checkout counter. Miniskirts and knee-high boots and belly shirts are not appropriate on little girls!

Phew! Ok, rant over. I just don''t understand it and I see this type of thing regularly and I just can''t stand it anymore.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Luckily, the kids at our pool don''t usually dress like that. Mostly I just notice that with boys, their swim trunks may be a bit loose and when they climb out, a bit too much of their rear end is showing.

I just have to add that most (or many) women shouldn''t even be wearing those skimpy bathing suits. I find it traumatic.

 

[tyty333]

I hear you Erica and I''m right there with you! I live in FL so we see some skimpy clothes. I dont see too many little kids with inappropriate
clothes on buy some of the middle schoolers and high schoolers. You can bet when my daughter gets that age I''ll be weeding her clothes
out when she outgrows them (no fannys or bellys hanging out in my household)!

 

[ericad]

To clarify, most kids here don''t dress that way, but I do see examples of it almost every time I''m out in public. My husband and I are in total agreement that our daughter will NEVER wear that kind of stuff! We wouldn''t even let her wear a 2 piece swimsuit unless it was a rashguard (t-shirt) style with full coverage bottoms.

(note that when I say age inappropriate I don''t mean sun dresses or shorts in summer time, etc. I mean little girls dressed like they''re going clubbing. Blech.)

 

[mayachel]

I hear you Erica! I can''t stand it. I mean, I remember being 10, and feeling like my mom was a horrible terrible mom who wouldn''t let me wear anything cool, but seriously? I don''t think I was asking for anything as crazy as I see these days. Talk about hypersexualizing our youth.

On the plus side, this past summer I saw a lot of children in full-on sunproofed bathing suits. It seems like the perfect antidote to young children in bikinis.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I totally hear ya! My daughter will have guidelines when it comes to clothing while she lives under my roof. Nothing too strict but I am a big believer that someone should dress their age. Sexy and children do NOT and should NOT go together.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/18/2009 3:18:52 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I totally hear ya! My daughter will have guidelines when it comes to clothing while she lives under my roof. Nothing too strict but I am a big believer that someone should dress their age. Sexy and children do NOT and should NOT go together.

I agree, although I''m still trying to figure out how to combat this issue (peer pressure is a factor and does need to be taken into consideration). Fortunately, we have a little time to sort it all out. It''s tough when even dolls look like hoocheyhos these days.

Is it bad I am hoping out my kid turns out to be a nerd with other nice nerd friends?

 

[janlwf]

Date: 12/18/2009 3:23:39 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 12/18/2009 3:18:52 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I totally hear ya! My daughter will have guidelines when it comes to clothing while she lives under my roof. Nothing too strict but I am a big believer that someone should dress their age. Sexy and children do NOT and should NOT go together.

I agree, although I''m still trying to figure out how to combat this issue (peer pressure is a factor and does need to be taken into consideration). Fortunately, we have a little time to sort it all out. It''s tough when even dolls look like hoocheyhos these days.

Is it bad I am hoping out my kid turns out to be a nerd with other nice nerd friends?

Nope! Nerds rule

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 12/18/2009 3:23:39 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 12/18/2009 3:18:52 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I totally hear ya! My daughter will have guidelines when it comes to clothing while she lives under my roof. Nothing too strict but I am a big believer that someone should dress their age. Sexy and children do NOT and should NOT go together.

I agree, although I''m still trying to figure out how to combat this issue (peer pressure is a factor and does need to be taken into consideration). Fortunately, we have a little time to sort it all out. It''s tough when even dolls look like hoocheyhos these days.

Is it bad I am hoping out my kid turns out to be a nerd with other nice nerd friends?

Nope, not bad. I wasn''t a nerd in school, but I don''t want my (future, non-existent as of now) children doing what I was doing when I was younger (and these days they do WAY WORSE). I too am hoping for little geeky kids

I also agree that I see children/teenagers in inapprorpiate clothing all the time.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 12/18/2009 3:46:06 PM
Author: janlwf

Date: 12/18/2009 3:23:39 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 12/18/2009 3:18:52 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

I totally hear ya! My daughter will have guidelines when it comes to clothing while she lives under my roof. Nothing too strict but I am a big believer that someone should dress their age. Sexy and children do NOT and should NOT go together.

I agree, although I''m still trying to figure out how to combat this issue (peer pressure is a factor and does need to be taken into consideration). Fortunately, we have a little time to sort it all out. It''s tough when even dolls look like hoocheyhos these days.

Is it bad I am hoping out my kid turns out to be a nerd with other nice nerd friends?

Nope! Nerds rule

Ditto - I won''t even lie, TGal, I hope Micah turns out to be a little geek, too. At least then he will dress like he should without his pants hanging off his butt!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Not to burst the dream, but I was and am a huge geek/nerd. In school I was a former mathlete, honor student, and chess champion. And when I was 14-18, I dyed my hair blue, wore fishnets and dog collars, and occasionally rocked 4" black leather boots with a corset...

 

[ericad]

Date: 12/18/2009 3:11:29 PM
Author: mayachel
I hear you Erica! I can''t stand it. I mean, I remember being 10, and feeling like my mom was a horrible terrible mom who wouldn''t let me wear anything cool, but seriously? I don''t think I was asking for anything as crazy as I see these days. Talk about hypersexualizing our youth.


On the plus side, this past summer I saw a lot of children in full-on sunproofed bathing suits. It seems like the perfect antidote to young children in bikinis.

When I was 10 all I wanted was a Guess jean jacket. Now kids have Bratz dolls and Hanna Montana and Brittany Spears dancing on stripper poles to look up to. Barbie of the 1980''s (what I played with) seems pretty tame by comparison. I remember when Dirty Dancing was totally scandalous and the few kids in my class who got to see it became our idols, lol.

Right now, my daughter''s favorite swimsuit is a thermal suit with sleeves and short-style bottoms - like a wetsuit (it''s a one piece that zips up the front). They keep the pool pretty cold - those poor bikini babies must be freezing too. Even in her little wetsuit she shivers.

The whole thing just boggles my mind...

I am really conservative on the issue of age-appropriate clothing (it''s about the only thing I''m conservative on) - my daughter has her first ballet recital and I HATE the costume. It''s halter style so her shoulders and back are completely exposed, the front top part is sheer and the fabric that covers her chest has a sweetheart neckline that connects to the sheer part and it''s just way too grown up looking. It''s really borderline. They are also encouraging the parents to put makeup on the kids - HECK NO! Even for a stage performance my 4 year old will not wear makeup. We are shopping for a new studio this weekend (though DD is already talking about dropping dance and wants to take soccer and gymnastics instead, which is ok by me).

 

[swingirl]

You guys have four year olds?! Ha ha! Please come back to this thread in 10 years!!!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Erica-I so agree with you. Kids are way to sexualized in our country and probably everywhere. My 13 year old goes to a school with a strict dress code and I am still surprised at times what the
girls wear. But I think this has been a battle with mother and daughters for generations. You''ve got some battles ahead of you girl, so get ready! I fought them with my daughter and thankfully she
is now on the other side. But then she is 27. I''ve been smart again with her for a few years. As parents, I think we will always have to fight the culture a bit. Good for you, keep your precious one
a little girl for as long as you can, they grow up too fast!

 

[softly softly]

I couldn't agree more Erica. My daughter is 3 1/2 and I can't imagine ever dressing her in a string bikini. In fact I think my husband is going to have an extremely hard time EVER letting her leave the house in revealing clothing. Both my kids have very pale skin and my daughter has red hair so I would be reluctant to buy any bathing suit that didn't provide full sun-protection.

Why is it even possible to buy a string bikini for a toddler?

And I am extremely conflicted about taking my daughter to dancing lessons purely because of the make-up issue you mention. Some friends have mentioned having this problem also. I simply don't understand why it would be necessary to put make-up on a child.

 

[ericad]

We''re shopping studios but seem to have similar problems. Too much emphasis on the shows, costumes and performance. Of course choreography and performance are important aspects to learn, but it seems they just don''t bother teaching the smaller kids technique. My daughter memorized her routine 3 weeks ago and is so bored because they just repeat the same steps to the same song over and over again with no new material.

She wants to stop dance but I see what great musicality and grace she has and want to keep nudging her to try (in addition to the sports she wants to do while being mindful to not overschedule). I think the solution may be to stop for now and reintroduce dance when she''s a bit older. But we''re not budging on the makeup issue, and will insist on being consulted for costume selection if a studio wants our patronage.

 

[Circe]

By 15 or so, I sort of feel like it''s the child''s choice, too; like MakingtheGrade, by that age, I felt like I deserved some autonomy (and I was proving/earning it in a variety of ways). However, parents who dress their 7 year olds in clothing with the Playboy bunny logo on it? NOT OKAY.

WTH is up with the early sexualization of children, male and female? I totally include male-child clothing with inappropriate logos in this category ....

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

I agree with teens dressing on the risque side. Gross. I don''t have children but I have heard that bikinis are actually really convenient for little girls when it comes to taking them to the bathroom. If I wear a one-piece to the swimming pool, even I hate trying to strip the whole thing off when I use the restroom and then try to slink back into it. I can''t imagine trying to get a child in and out of one throughout the day.. I will agree that STRING BIKINIS are quite ridiculous for little girls.

As of the make-up. Well, I was in dance from the age of 3 all the way through college and I LOVED getting dolled up in Mom''s make-up for the recital. It was pretty much the only time I was allowed to wear make-up as a little girl and it was just so much fun. The bright pink rouge, the red lips - it was all just for one night. I dunno, I think dance recital make-up is pretty harmless. I mean, it''s not like those little pageant girls with the false eyelashes and teeth who get drag-queenified every weekend.

On everything else, I totally agree. My little sister is 19 and I couldn''t believe the clothes she was wearing in high school. And she said there were other girls who wore much worse. Bleh.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 12/18/2009 6:19:08 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Not to burst the dream, but I was and am a huge geek/nerd. In school I was a former mathlete, honor student, and chess champion. And when I was 14-18, I dyed my hair blue, wore fishnets and dog collars, and occasionally rocked 4'' black leather boots with a corset...

I actually did, too. Except my hair was pink and purple. I have no issue with hair dying, though - at least Micah is going to be a boy lol. He can wear leather pants all he wants, at least they fit!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Haha, yeah, I was a huge nerd but wasn''t conservative with my closet per se.

Honestly, I don''t really associate stage makeup with sexualization. I think it''s all about how you approach makeup with your kid. It''s like face paint, you face paint them into kittens or vampires for Halloween to play the part of their costumes, and for the stage, the make up is like face paint to make you look more like a doll. It''s not about being pretty or beautiful, it''s about not looking like a ghost under bright lights. Maybe I''m just naive.

String bikinis though are a whole different thing...

 

[sillyberry]

Date: 12/19/2009 10:08:03 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Haha, yeah, I was a huge nerd but wasn''t conservative with my closet per se.


Honestly, I don''t really associate stage makeup with sexualization. I think it''s all about how you approach makeup with your kid. It''s like face paint, you face paint them into kittens or vampires for Halloween to play the part of their costumes, and for the stage, the make up is like face paint to make you look more like a doll. It''s not about being pretty or beautiful, it''s about not looking like a ghost under bright lights. Maybe I''m just naive.


String bikinis though are a whole different thing...

I agree with the crazy gross sexualization of children - when I see little kids (or not so little kids) in tiny clothes or wearing shirts with inappropriate slogans, I want to scream. I always think about Regina George''s little sister dancing about how her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

However, the stage makeup thing for recitals is totally not the same thing in my view. I have done a lot of theatre, and the amount of makeup required to see anyone on stage is just phenomenal.

(I particularly loved putting makeup on the boys since even they knew how much eyeliner is required on stage!)

 

[ksinger]

Well, call me old-fashioned. Oh wait...I really AM old-fashioned. A friend of mine - a single mom with a newly-minted 8 year old (just turned 8 last week) said her son wants to have his ear pierced. She said she was inclined to let him. My immediate reaction was "Oh NO! DON''T do that!!" I was like, so what will you do when he starts wanting a tattoo?? Oh, well those are right OUT, says she, that''s different. I''m like, not to HIM it won''t be!! Yeesh. A blanket NO would suffice. NO holes, NO pictures, until you''re 18, then you can go to town. So I guess you all may assume that I find piercings of ANY kind pretty inappropriate on little boys. I''m not so naive to think he might not go out and do it as a rebellion thing when he hits his teens, but letting him do that at 8?? I love this gal like a sister, but what on earth is she thinking?? HE has no idea what he might encounter from having that (like getting beat up for starters - we live in a very conservative state BTW, so there are many who would still think him gay for an earring. Hope she helps him pick the correct ear...) and she seems pretty unaware or in denial about how boys interact. (My husband just threw up his arms and rolled back his eyes when I told him this: no other comment needed) Not to mention the increased parenting battles she may be creating for herself going forward. Of course he''s still hitting her - at 8, so...I just sit back and shake my head.

 

[ericad]

I disagree about stage makeup on little ones when it''s lipstick, rouge, mascara, etc. Not different than pageant makeup and sends a message of acting older than you are. But if her stage character was a cat or an elf or whatever, green skin or painted whiskers is fine because it''s theatrical and age appropriate. But there''s never a reason for a little girl to have her face made up to look like a woman. Just feels wrong to me, but as I said I''m pretty old fashioned about this one issue - I admit it!

 

[cellentani]

I also hate how trashy they''ve made girls'' Halloween costumes. Since when is Little Red Riding Hood a pole dancer?!

 

[Pandora II]

LOL, these are battles I just can''t wait to have...

I do put Daisy in bikini bottoms for swimming at the moment - they have a little frill thing round the top and the rest is a swim-nappy, but that is because I''ve only found ONE baby swimsuit that is an all in one. Honestly it was no problem to get her in and out of it.

Having done a lot of competitive swimming in the past, there was a world of difference between some of my ''serious'' swimsuits and my holiday swimsuits. Getting out of the former isn''t too easy, but the others were simple and I don''t think it''s much different for kids.

That said, there is a world of difference between putting your daughter in a decently designed bikini - bottoms that cover their bottom and a top that doesn''t look like it''s made for boobs ie. 2 triangles - and something made to look like they should be in mini-Playboy.

It does amaze me with all the stuff in the media about paedophiles and when you consider that parents in the UK can''t even take photos of their kids in nativity plays etc in case someone does something inappropriate with the pics, that people still dress their children in a way that makes them sexualised so young...

 

[vespergirl]

I hate it when little kids wear innapropriate clothing, and I have an example to share. On Halloween, we were participating in a neighborhood kids'' costume parade. One little 8 year old girl showed up in an outfit so shockingly revealing that my husband averted his eyes when the family approached us (we are neighbors of the parents). After we were done talking to them he told me that he would NEVER let a child of ours wear that type of clothing, period. The outfit would have been downright slutty on an adult or teenager, so it was all the more disturbing on a pre-pubescent girl. I know the family pretty well, and they are ultra-permissive with their kids, so I''m not surprised, but my husband truly couldn''t believe that her father let her leave the house dressed like that.

For the record, she was wearing a "pirate" costume, but it must have been for juniors, not children (granted the little girl is quite tall for her age). It was a bikini top that ended right under where her breasts would have been, and her midriff was entirely bare down to her pubic bone, where she wore a skirt that didn''t quite cover her bottom, and just barely covered her crotch. When she was standing upright, you could see her buttock cheeks sticking out of the bottom of the skirt (thank God she was wearing underwear). The final part of the outfit was thigh-high stockings with garters. On an 8 year old girl!!! It was really disgusting.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 12/20/2009 12:12:58 PM
Author: ericad
I disagree about stage makeup on little ones when it's lipstick, rouge, mascara, etc. Not different than pageant makeup and sends a message of acting older than you are. But if her stage character was a cat or an elf or whatever, green skin or painted whiskers is fine because it's theatrical and age appropriate. But there's never a reason for a little girl to have her face made up to look like a woman. Just feels wrong to me, but as I said I'm pretty old fashioned about this one issue - I admit it!

Stage makeup isn't used to make a little girl look like a woman. It's used because the bright stage lights wash out all facial features. Stage make up is used to recreate the features with enough contrast so that they don't get washed out and just look natural.

I performed in ballets of the utmost conservative nature; Swan Lake, The Nutcracker, Giselle. No way was our stage makeup doing anything to age the young girls into adult women. It was applied so the paying customer in the back row could see that we had eyes and lips. And our makeup was extreme, complete with false eyelashes, eye-liner and bright red lips.

Stage makeup is part of a costume and appropriate for theatrical environments. But don't confuse it with Halloween costumes or baby beauty pageants.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 12/20/2009 4:09:56 PM
Author: swingirl

Date: 12/20/2009 12:12:58 PM
Author: ericad
I disagree about stage makeup on little ones when it''s lipstick, rouge, mascara, etc. Not different than pageant makeup and sends a message of acting older than you are. But if her stage character was a cat or an elf or whatever, green skin or painted whiskers is fine because it''s theatrical and age appropriate. But there''s never a reason for a little girl to have her face made up to look like a woman. Just feels wrong to me, but as I said I''m pretty old fashioned about this one issue - I admit it!

Stage makeup isn''t used to make a little girl look like a woman. It''s used because the bright stage lights wash out all facial features. Stage make up is used to recreate the features with enough contrast so that they don''t get washed out and just look natural.

I performed in ballets of the utmost conservative nature; Swan Lake, The Nutcracker, Giselle. No way was our stage makeup doing anything to age the young girls into adult women. It was applied so the paying customer in the back row could see that we had eyes and lips. And our makeup was extreme, complete with false eyelashes, eye-liner and bright red lips.

Stage makeup is part of a costume and appropriate for theatrical environments. But don''t confuse it with Halloween costumes or baby beauty pageants.

DITTO. A person''s face (of any age/gender) looks like a featureless blob without ANY makeup. Dancers with makeup are theater performers too. I always thought I looked ridiculous when I''d have to put on ten tons of makeup for a dance recital, musical performance or play when I was young. I wanted to look pretty, not gaudy! And close up we looked ridiculous!

I think that you''re over blowing the makeup during dance recitals. Big time.

My $.02.

 

[softly softly]

Date: 12/20/2009 5:16:36 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 12/20/2009 4:09:56 PM
Author: swingirl

Date: 12/20/2009 12:12:58 PM
Author: ericad
I disagree about stage makeup on little ones when it''s lipstick, rouge, mascara, etc. Not different than pageant makeup and sends a message of acting older than you are. But if her stage character was a cat or an elf or whatever, green skin or painted whiskers is fine because it''s theatrical and age appropriate. But there''s never a reason for a little girl to have her face made up to look like a woman. Just feels wrong to me, but as I said I''m pretty old fashioned about this one issue - I admit it!

Stage makeup isn''t used to make a little girl look like a woman. It''s used because the bright stage lights wash out all facial features. Stage make up is used to recreate the features with enough contrast so that they don''t get washed out and just look natural.

I performed in ballets of the utmost conservative nature; Swan Lake, The Nutcracker, Giselle. No way was our stage makeup doing anything to age the young girls into adult women. It was applied so the paying customer in the back row could see that we had eyes and lips. And our makeup was extreme, complete with false eyelashes, eye-liner and bright red lips.

Stage makeup is part of a costume and appropriate for theatrical environments. But don''t confuse it with Halloween costumes or baby beauty pageants.

DITTO. A person''s face (of any age/gender) looks like a featureless blob without ANY makeup. Dancers with makeup are theater performers too. I always thought I looked ridiculous when I''d have to put on ten tons of makeup for a dance recital, musical performance or play when I was young. I wanted to look pretty, not gaudy! And close up we looked ridiculous!

I think that you''re over blowing the makeup during dance recitals. Big time.

My $.02.

I think Erica''s point is that her daughter is still only 4 years old. I''m not going to argue against the importance of stage make-up, but I will say that the idea of putting lipstick, mascara and rouge on my toddler daughter just feels very wrong to me. Which is not to say I will feel the same way when she is older if she wants to perform in dance recitals. At the moment she is 3 and still very much a baby to me.

 

[swingirl]

A 3 or 4 year old probably doesn't belong on the stage in the first place. It's not an experience that a baby or toddler is going to get anything out of. It's only for the parents and grandparents. And the dance school, of course, because that's what brings their students back.