Raiding the Desert bar

[Karen Gannon]

Hi peeps!

So my daughter would like to have a Desert - Candy bar and we have heard of the Display being heavily raided when the cocktail hour begins. Now I can't imagine the people we have invited doing something quite this tacky and the only children are the flower girls and ring bears, 5 kids in all. But apparently it is also the adults. One bride said her photographer didn't even get to photograph it and there wasn't one macaroon or cake pop left when they came back immediately after getting the post ceremony photos taken. I mean who does this? Any idea how to prevent this? Again, I really can't imagine anyone with any class doing this with the appetizers and open bar at full tilt but I guess you never know!

 

[Enerchi]

do not bring it out or have it on display, until after the dinner has been served. If it is visible and accessible, people will go and help themselves, no matter HOW CLASSY they may appear, throw in free food and alcohol...consider a dessert bar decimated before its time.

I know that sounds so harsh, but it is amazing what otherwise normal sane people will do, when confronted with a display of food!!

I'd keep it behind the scenes until you are ready to first photograph it (have the photographer ready to click immediately!) and then serve the food.

 

[Karen Gannon]

I wish we could do that. But the resort says it takes allot of time to set it up. They probably wouldn't want to be pulling it all out later in the evening plus it is an intricate part of the decor. HMmmmm. Good suggestion though!

 

[vc10um]

You could perhaps post a few signs (in decor-matching frames) around the table saying something to the effect of "Please refrain from sampling the sweets until the Bride and Groom have cut the cake." (or have done whatever symbolic thing they may be doing to indicate it's time for dessert!) Easy for the photographer to remove and replace for pictures...and hopefully it gets the point across without being insulting...hopefully.

Another option (this is assuming the dinner tables are in the same room as cocktail hour/the dessert bar) is to 1) set up the dessert bar far away from the bar/cocktail tables/hors d'oeuvres set up and 2) place menus on the tables/menu cards at each place that list Dessert as "Guest's choice of treat from the Dessert Display" so that it's (hopefully) clear that it's meant to be enjoyed after dinner.

Good luck!

 

[AmeliaG]

How many photographers are you hiring? Can one get to the reception area BEFORE the guests arrive while the other takes pics of the bride and groom? There are GORGEOUS picture-perfect photos of reception set-ups on this forum and its hard to imagine that these photos were taken at any other time than BEFORE the guests entered the reception area.

It's also hard to imagine a crowd keeping their hands off an open buffet table. Unless you're having a sit-down meal, your reception sounds like an open buffet except for items like the wedding cake which have to be cut and served. At an open buffet, there's no real protocol of what to eat first. You can have the venue design the layout to encourage the foot traffic to hit the bar and appetizers first but its no guarantee that people won't check out all the offerings first and then head to the one they want to hit first.

 

[Enerchi]

IS there anyway the venue could place some privacy screens in front of the dessert bar? Something decorative that they could provide a barrier and keep the display "safe" until the appropriate time, yet could also be decorated to suit the decor of the reception? You know, those 3 or 4 sided folding screens that they use on TV or movies for people to change behind??

 

[princesss]

I'm lost - why is it tacky to eat food that is available for the guests? If people see food and can reach it, they assume it's for eating. Have the photographer sneak in and get a few pictures before hand, and be done. Alternatively, order 50lbs more of everything than you think you'll need. I get wanting things to be picture perfect, but I think you and your daughter need to remember that the candy bar isn't there for pictures - it's for the guests. If they want to eat dessert first, they're grown ups, why would it matter?

I say embrace it. Have the photographer get a few pictures before guests can get into the cocktail area, and put up a sign that says, "Life is short. Eat dessert first!" Then neither of you stress about it, and your guests see it as a cute, fun touch rather than being afraid that if they eat the (accessable, alluring, delicious) snacks available to them somebody will come running over yelling at them for being tacky and classless.

 

[AmeliaG]

Following up on Enerchi's suggestion, are you having the reception in a hotel? Can they offer a space where your guests can wait before the reception (and you to arrive)?

I've noticed more and more hotels offering a free happy hour for their overnight guests in a vestibule in the lobby. Sometimes I've seen private parties use the space. If the hotel can provide you a space, can you provide your guests with some inexpensive wine and bar munchies to occupy themselves before the main event (i.e., when you arrive). it doesn't have to be expensive - an inexpensive white wine served with bar nuts and pretzels. And the photog can take a few pictures before you open the room for the reception.

 

[Gypsy]

Can you set it all up on a table with WHEELS that lock? That way it can be stationed out of sight, then wheeled out (and then the wheels locked into place) at the right time.

 

[Haven]

Can you set it all up on a table with WHEELS that lock? That way it can be stationed out of sight, then wheeled out (and then the wheels locked into place) at the right time.

This is a great idea.

I've never been to a wedding reception where the dessert bar was displayed before people were expected to eat it. I think that would be very strange, to have it out but to expect people not to graze. Usually, the dessert bar comes out after the meal is served.

 

[titian23]

I went to a wedding last year that had a desert bar and that is exactly what happened! The DJ finally had to ask people to please wait until after dinner to have desert. It probably would have been fine to just let people have what they want when they wanted it but half the people were too polite to go up when dinner clearly hadn't even been served yet, and the other half were grabbing huge handfuls of things to take home for later (I'm guessing, who could eat that much candy in one sitting?)

 

[Anastasia]

Could the displays be wrapped in cellophane until after dinner?

I don't think it is tacky for people to eat food that is out and accessible. Unwrapping a display, or going behind a barrier would be tacky, but if it's out, open and on display, it is fair game.

 

[junebug17]

Could the displays be wrapped in cellophane until after dinner?

I don't think it is tacky for people to eat food that is out and accessible. Unwrapping a display, or going behind a barrier would be tacky, but if it's out, open and on display, it is fair game.

This is a really good idea - I'm disappointed I didn't think of it.

 

[Karen Gannon]

You all have such fabulous thoughts. Thank you so much! The wedding is at a beautiful barrier island resort, very small and I would imagine the candy - desert table will be set up early as it is a special party of the decor. And I think you right, Put a sign and let people go for it and don't sweat it. There will be a cocktail hour and then a plated dinner. The photographer will have at least one assistant with her and I am sure she will can get some photos before the the ceremony ends. There will also be a cake but the desert table will have both candy, and assorted deserts. The only children will be in the wedding. So there won't be allot of them.

I suppose it would never occur to me to help myself to desserts until people were up from their plated dinners and moving around. One blog I read said that all the french macaroons (which are very very expensive) and cake pops, etc. were gone before dinner even started. People were piling them into the take away containers provided for serving to take with them, NOT to eat at the reception. Still, that is beyond rude to me. I just can't imagine. At end of evening, take some with them? Sure. But..keep the thoughts coming. I appreciate it!

 

[Enerchi]

Like a bolt of lightening.....!!!!

What if you had only SOME of the desserts out first? Like the colourful candies, to match your decor, and then after the dinner and speeches (or how ever you have it planned) then have the wait staff refresh the dessert display with the more specialty items! Problem solved - the really 'special items' are saved until at least every one has eaten!

Or --- have the macaroons put on a cake or server plate, and placed on each table for the guests to share amongst those at their seats?

 

[AmeliaG]

One blog I read said that all the french macaroons (which are very very expensive) and cake pops, etc. were gone before dinner even started. People were piling them into the take away containers provided for serving to take with them, NOT to eat at the reception. Still, that is beyond rude to me. I just can't imagine. At end of evening, take some with them? Sure. But..keep the thoughts coming. I appreciate it!

Now I've heard everything. That IS rude!

Still, if this story came from a blog, I'd take it with a grain of salt. Blogs have been known to exaggerate the truth a bit to make a better story and get more readers. You look like you have everything well in hand.

 

[sillyberry]

You can also wait to put out any "take out containers" until it's time for people to take candy. That should help, unless they want to stuff macarons in their bras, in which case, I'm pretty much in the camp of "well, if you want them that badly..."

 

[Karen Gannon]

LOL that would be desperation!

 

[Lady_Disdain]

LOL that would be desperation!

Depends on how the macaroons are!