Q about gay couples.

[Dancing Fire]

Is it common for them to have kids?

 

[kenny]

I have no idea.

For the only gay couples I know with kids, the kids came from a former hetero relationship.
But I'm not well qualified to answer since I don't know many gay people even though I live where that is possible.
I've never seen a point in preferring friends who are gay.
As in, who cares?

You could google the question.

One thing's for sure.
We never have surprise babies.

 

[VRBeauty]

"Of the 594,000 same-sex couple households in the United States, 115,000 have children.... Gay and lesbian parents are raising four percent of all adopted children in the United States.... Same-sex parents in the United States are four times more likely than different-sex parents to be raising an adopted child. Among couples with children under the age of 18 in the home, 13% of same-sex parents have an adopted child, compared to just 3% of different-sex parents."

I don't know whether this includes children born to lesbian couples... I think that in most states the non-birth parent would need to adopt to establish parental rights, so it might.

Source: https://www.lifelongadoptions.com/lgbt-adoption/lgbt-adoption-statistics. Stats based on 2011 data.

 

[whitewave]

I would say generally speaking, of the couples I know, most don't have kids BUT their reasons why that they told me will likely change with the younger generations (don't want to pretend to be the "aunt" in the house during school years, etc-- this will become obsolete I think)

 

[kenny]

I would say generally speaking, of the couples I know, most don't have kids BUT their reasons why that they told me will likely change with the younger generations (don't want to pretend to be the "aunt" in the house during school years, etc-- this will become obsolete I think)

I agree with you.
Gays being full citizens is considered possible now.

Too late for me, psychologically speaking.
Old dog ... new trick, and all.

Oh wait, did I just say gay and trick in the same post?

 

[asscherisme]

My son is gay and he very much wants to get married and have kids one day. He has told me that if he reaches 35 to 40 and doesn't meet the right man, he will just adopt on his own. And he realizes how lucky he is to be born into a generation where it is possible for him to be open about who he is and still have a family. And so true Kenny about no "accidents". I worry about my other son accidentally getting his girlfriend pregnant!

 

[whitewave]

Makes me crazy that gay people still have to fight the fight to be accepted... makes me so angry....

 

[kmarla]

That’s an interesting question DF. I don’t know about the general population but in my immediate family and DH’s (including 1st cousins) there are 7 gay married/common law/long term couples. 2 couples have a child/children. One couple had children from a former hetero marriage, and the other couple has one baby through adoption.

 

[AprilBaby]

Lots of gay couples in Hollywood have kids. I guess I would have just assumed they would. I think Neil Patrick Harris and David burtka are about my favorite gay parents. Their children are so adorable and seem really down to earth.

 

[sarahb]

My son is also gay, & he has no idea about having kids. At 22, he's still a youngster in my mind. Currently working on his BA & planning to continue onto his Masters. He's been in a relationship now for over 2 years, so we'll see what happens.

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

Most of my gay friends have cats or dogs.

 

[kenny]

Most of my gay friends have cats or dogs.

That's cause straight sex makes human babies.
Gay sex makes cats, dogs and sometimes a parrot!

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

We had infertility, so straight sex gave us kittens too!

 

[kenny]

We had infertility, so straight sex gave us kittens too!

Well, at least you didn't "have a cow, man" as Bart Simpson would recommend.

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

Not a parrot either!

 

[elizabethess]

I'm not sure if you mean "gay" to be the spectrum of LGBT people or just male same-sex couples. In the wider sense, I count quite a few LGBT couples among my family, friends and coworkers.

In my circles, the percentage of LGBT couples who parent is similar to heterosexual couples. That is to say: most do parent, either through reproductive assistance, adoption or step-parenting children from previous relationships. The rest who don't are split between child-free by choice and those who wish to be parents but for whatever reason have been unable to do so.

 

[mom2dolls]

90% of the gay couples I know have children. My very best friend and her wife just had twin boys via a surrogate. They also have a older boy carried by one of them.

 

[metall]

I would say generally speaking, of the couples I know, most don't have kids BUT their reasons why that they told me will likely change with the younger generations (don't want to pretend to be the "aunt" in the house during school years, etc-- this will become obsolete I think)

The bolded statement above makes me so so so mad. It's very nice that as a society we are changing, but the fact that it was ever a thing just makes my blood boil a little.

 

[kenny]

The bolded statement above makes me so so so mad. It's very nice that as a society we are changing, but the fact that it was ever a thing just makes my blood boil a little.

Me too.
But not a little, a lot.

Something you wrote alarmed me ... "that it was ever a thing".
It is still a thing ... hatred and marginalization of and discrimination against gays, that is.

It may not be a thing in one person's social circle, in both their real life and online, but homophobia is alive and well in America.
Slime ball people will always try to get away with sneaky and shitty ways of getting people to see their group as superior to some other group.

Religions are masters at this shit.
I'm not anti-religion; I'm anti-discrimination, and won't give any organizations a pass because those orgs are 'special'.

The self-professed 'one true church' with a billion + members STILL teaches being gay is worse than being straight ... of course using evasive, fluffy, manipulative, and deceptive tactics.
("It's not me saying gays are inferior, it's God. We're just obeying God." GMAFB! )

Sure, broad brushes are bad.
Some religious individuals have been healed of that hatred, but the official position of many religions even today is anti-gay ... though of course they disguise their bigotry as morality.

Granting marriage equality didn't end homophobia and discrimination.
The 1863 Emancipation Proclamation ended slavery.
But 154 years later racism is alive and well in many Americans ... but like racism, homophobia is now going more underground.

Today I see evidence that many libs, and cons, think homophobia is a thing of the past.
"Oh, we took care of that when we gave them marriage equality."
This is naive and dangerous.

 

[kenny]

Image if I beat to death an African American, got caught, went to trial, and my lawyer argued that my violence was justified because I panicked when I found out the victim was AA.
That wouldn't fly, would it?
Well, it may have flown in 1813 Alabama, but I was astonished and horrified to learn it may fly today in 49 states if the murder victim was gay.
Discrimination can live invisibly in the minds of jurors and courtroom lawyers know this.
Remember OJ's trial?

There's a good example in TODAY's news of why we need to remain vigilant, and not think America's homophobia and discrimination problem is over.

Have you heard about the Gay Panic Defense?

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo...illinois-to-ban-gay-panic-defense-in-new-year

Partial Snip:

"On Monday, Illinois will become the second state to ban the so-called gay panic defense in cases in which a murder defendant tries to justify his violence as a reaction to learning that the victim was gay.

California banned the defense tactic in 2014, a year after the American Bar Association called for its prohibition."

 

[valeria101]

.

Count me surprised by how many know gay couples personally ... 'Guess I'm living under a rock !

 

[kenny]

.

Count me surprised by how many know gay couples personally ... 'Guess I'm living under a rock !

Me too.

Actually, more of the people we know may be gay than we realize, especially if we haven't met their partner.
Even today gays in some locations, professions, religions, and families may have good reason to stay invisible.
Next, tragically some men married to women are closeted gays who have sex with men in public restrooms and gay bath houses.

Until a couple generations after the day arrives when there is no social stigma about being gay we'll never know what percentage of the population is really gay.

 

[valeria101]

.

True enough. Whoever concerned, must know better than to take at face value what we lot keep saying !

 

[Turbodoug]

Just off topic
im wondering how many of us Menfolk gem and jewelery buffs get appraised on our sexuality based on the fact we wear jewelery,
And i wear lots, even a double strand tahitian pearl and ruby necklace.

 

[kenny]

Just off topic
im wondering how many of us Menfolk gem and jewelery buffs get appraised on our sexuality based on the fact we wear jewelery,
And i wear lots, even a double strand tahitian pearl and ruby necklace.

To hell with people who stereotype.

Again, that saying comes to mind ..."What others think of me is none of my business."

Wear whatever you like.
If people mistakenly think you're gay, just be flattered.

 

[valeria101]

.

Do not expect me to make such pronouncements in public ...

Anything in this quaint style ? WWW

 

[kenny]

.

Do not expect me to make such pronouncements in public ...

Anything in this quaint style ? WWW

This post confuses me.
Make what pronouncements?

... "Anything in this quaint style ?"
Huh?

 

[valeria101]

This post confuses me.
Make what pronouncements?

What @Turbodoug asked.

... "Anything in this quaint style ?"
Huh?

On that thread it is said that a certain classical ring style is 'masculine' - yet the only examples posted yet are do not belong to men.

__

Apologies for failed humour.

 

[kenny]

What @Turbodoug asked.

Turbodoug posted, "im wondering how many of us Menfolk gem and jewelery buffs get appraised on our sexuality based on the fact we wear jewelery, And i wear lots, even a double strand tahitian pearl and ruby necklace."

To which you replied, "Do not expect me to make such pronouncements in public"

I'm afraid I remain confused by your response to him.
I'm not good at reading between lines.

What 'such pronouncements'?
I realize people hate to explain themselves and my asking makes me look not cool, but I'm genuinely interested in your perspective on this ... and I've never given a crap about how cool I look.

 

[valeria101]

Let me try again.

I took the qustion 'how men wearing jewelry are appraised on their sexuality' as a survey & answered on my behalf [lets call it, a New Year high !]. What I thought might be read between the lines, was that I am finding the absolute absence of jewelry oddly prudish - an alien cultural fact to be understood as such.

IHMO, the classic forms are a baseline of comfortable confidence, more, a brotherly dare to the stark gray rest.

Am I in the wrong ?