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PSers. Please be reasonable, courteous people off-forum. Please?

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
21,781
A couple of requests, from one (pretty annoyed) PSer to whoever needs to read this.


(1)
If a fellow PSer posts a Show Me The X type of thread, it is not okay to email that person and say you want to buy the piece she just posted. No matter how badly you might want it. No matter what price you might think is reasonable.

It's perfectly okay to email that person and ask more about it, how you might purchase something similar, how much it ran, even if they might have something similar to rehome. But for goodness sake don't presume that the person you're contacting is looking to sell whatever she just posted as hers unless that desire has been explicitly communicated.


(2)
It is not okay to ask a vendor to opine on a competitor's goods unless you're paying for that vendor's time and expert opinion. No surprise to anyone here that I'm friends with a number of vendors. Most of those vendors have indicated that this is disgustingly commonplace, though none have named names. If you're talking to a diamond vendor, don't inquire after another vendor's diamonds. If you're talking to an opal vendor, don't ask that vendor whether another vendor's opals are good deals. If you're talking to a pearls vendor, don't solicit evaluations of other vendors' stock.

If you want an appraisal of a vendor's goods - you ask that vendor. If you want an independent appraisal of a vendor's goods - you pay an appraiser or ask here on PS, or both. I feel like this should be patently obvious, but apparently not all of us subscribe to the same philosophies of common decency.


For real. You know who you are.
 
Last edited:

maryjane04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
904
Wow, I just read your post and thought it was common sense. If one was selling a piece it would be in the preloved section.

The second part wow, naming names? I mean one can do their own research and figure out what is best for them. Kinda feels like they are wasting the poor vendor's time.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
21,781
No vendor has named names. Merely indicated that this is a recurring and unfortunate practice that some PSers engage in.
 

icy_jade

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
3,990
Wow that’s unfortunate @yssie especially re: the vendors.

Re: the first, maybe it speaks to how beautiful your latest pearls are that people are asking you if they are for sale? They are so gorgeous I can sort of understand some momentary loss of common sense when people see them.
 

Karl_K

Super_Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
11,001
1: wow that's rude.
2: it's really just part of doing business on the internet.
I educate on asschers on the board all the time and people ask me about stones that are technically competitors to me and I dont care one bit. I encourage it.
For those that are not happy about doing it: no one can walk on you unless your let them.
A polite: Sorry I don't discuss competitors diamonds would you like to discuss this one that I have........

Let me tell you a very secret truth about those in the diamond trade.
They like to complain.
 

ForteKitty

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 7, 2004
Messages
4,931
One person made me so uncomfortable I couldn't even respond to her email. She included very private, very personal medical history as the reason why I should sell my ring to her, because it would help her process her grief. It was a guilt trip and I felt so terrible, like I was a bad person for not wanting to sell. But at the same time, she said it so nonchalantly like she just wanted to buy something pretty to "feel better". I wrote an email and never sent it.
 

caf

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 26, 2013
Messages
1,432
@yssie - you go girl! These people (who know who they are) sound quite rude, entitled and presumptuous. Enjoy your beautiful bracelet and don’t let them dampen your enjoyment and pride.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
45,127
OMG. Just when I thought I heard it all. Really?
And once again...


preferanimalsoverhumans.jpg
 

Alex T

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 24, 2012
Messages
6,278
One person made me so uncomfortable I couldn't even respond to her email. She included very private, very personal medical history as the reason why I should sell my ring to her, because it would help her process her grief. It was a guilt trip and I felt so terrible, like I was a bad person for not wanting to sell. But at the same time, she said it so nonchalantly like she just wanted to buy something pretty to "feel better". I wrote an email and never sent it.

:-o
 

MrsBlue

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2013
Messages
274
I enjoyed this episode of PriceScope Confidential and look forward to many more lol

Years ago I was chatting with an NYC jeweler and she said that anytime they had trouble selling a piece she would just put it on. For some customers, the idea that they could buy every diamond necklace except for THAT one drove them mad with desire.

I suspect something similar is happening here. People don't want any premium piece of jewelry that they could easily purchase from the same vendor--they want YOURS.
 

Ionysis

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 1, 2015
Messages
492
One person made me so uncomfortable I couldn't even respond to her email. She included very private, very personal medical history as the reason why I should sell my ring to her, because it would help her process her grief. It was a guilt trip and I felt so terrible, like I was a bad person for not wanting to sell. But at the same time, she said it so nonchalantly like she just wanted to buy something pretty to "feel better". I wrote an email and never sent it.

*SHOCK*!!!
 

icy_jade

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
3,990
I enjoyed this episode of PriceScope Confidential and look forward to many more lol

Years ago I was chatting with an NYC jeweler and she said that anytime they had trouble selling a piece she would just put it on. For some customers, the idea that they could buy every diamond necklace except for THAT one drove them mad with desire.

I suspect something similar is happening here. People don't want any premium piece of jewelry that they could easily purchase from the same vendor--they want YOURS.

Wow, had no idea some people can be like that...
 

Arcadian

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 17, 2008
Messages
7,903
Oh man.... :shock: so I kinda wanna know who's doing allathat but then again, maybe its good I don't know!

There's all types of crazy everywhere which is why you have to be careful what you share, especially here.
 

Rfisher

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 19, 2013
Messages
3,215
lol
I get that getting a private email from someone demanding you sell something to them is awkward and uncomfortable and yes, rude.
But I’d take that anyday over seeing someone post here randomly a few times that they knew who had their old ring and they wanted it back.
Hypothetically if I were that person of course.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
9,921
One person made me so uncomfortable I couldn't even respond to her email. She included very private, very personal medical history as a reason why I should sell my ring to her, because it would help her process her grief. It was a guilt trip and I felt so terrible, like I was a bad person for not wanting to sell. But at the same time, she said it so nonchalantly like she just wanted to buy something pretty to "feel better". I wrote an email and never sent it.

I think you did the right thing
Ok I confess that I covet many of your things @ForteKitty and @yssie

But since they can’t be mine I’m glad you ladies post so many beautiful pics of your pieces so that I can enjoy them virtually =)2

well put @icy_jade
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
9,921
When my dog was a puppy, I used to get strangers coming up to me at the pet store and at the dog park asking to buy her. I was like...just...go buy your own?? Plenty of dogs out there!

Were they serouse ?
Checky bug**ers
id tell then to p*ss off

actually id probably be struck dumb and would just gather up my pup and flee
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
37,745
I've seen "inspired by" rings, where the asker made a point not to make an exact copy by adding their own twist to the design. I've also seen the asker request the owner's permission out of courtesy.

That said, I don't doubt there will be many lookalikes that were created but not posted in PS.
 

Slick1

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
2,980
Oh boy! Never even occurred to me that this happened here! Clearly, to most of us, you are curating a collection for ‘yourself.’ I suppose if you were a vendor, I could see that kind of outreach for dibs perhaps. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing though. I am thankful that you indulge us with your divine pieces with us! ❤️
 

Rubymal

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
405
Were they serouse ?
Checky bug**ers
id tell then to p*ss off

actually id probably be struck dumb and would just gather up my pup and flee

Oh yeah! One guy was very adamant about it and even insisted on giving me his phone number if I changed my mind. I took his number just so he would walk away and leave me alone. Never called him of course, doggy is turning 9 this year :) this was when she was about 13 weeks old.

One time, I was on my way to work and complimented someone's dog, saying they looked nice and well behaved- then they asked me if I wanted to take her. They were 100% serious too! I declined lol.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
9,921
Oh yeah! One guy was very adamant about it and even insisted on giving me his phone number if I changed my mind. I took his number just so he would walk away and leave me alone. Never called him of course, doggy is turning 9 this year :) this was when she was about 13 weeks old.

One time, I was on my way to work and complimented someone's dog, saying they looked nice and well behaved- then they asked me if I wanted to take her. They were 100% serious too! I declined lol.

That's just awful
would they sell their kids too ?

My cats are moggy strays but to me no amount of money would equate to the value they have in my heart
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
2,387
lol
I get that getting a private email from someone demanding you sell something to them is awkward and uncomfortable and yes, rude.
But I’d take that anyday over seeing someone post here randomly a few times that they knew who had their old ring and they wanted it back.
Hypothetically if I were that person of course.

Yeah, that must be awkward and uncomfortable. At the end of the day, it's a thing.
 

MillieLou

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
361
While were on forum etiquette i have a question
Is it ok to have a ring or whatever made that looks like someone else's ?
Should one ask first ?

I reckon if you're going to do it and then post about it here, then yes, it's only polite.

I am sure most people wouldn't mind at all and indeed would even be happy to help and share details. I would raise eyebrows at an obvious copy being posted without acknowledgement. Or a knock off copy from another jeweller of an original design - bad form.
 
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