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Pregnancy present

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Kismet

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So a very good friend of mine just told me that she''s pregnant. I''d like to get something for her and not the baby at this point since, well, she''s 39 and has had one miscarriage already and I don''t want to tempt fate as it were. I''d love to hear any ideas from mommys and mommys-to-be (or daddys as the case may be) about what a pregnant woman would appreciate.

She''s halfway across the country from me (small town outside of Boise) so I can''t readily do any in-person things with her or for her. I would like to get her a present more substantial than flowers and a congratulaions card though.
 

NYCsparkle

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why not get her a pregnancy massage at a spa near her...or a mani pedi. you can go on-line and find spas near her and get her a gift certificate.
 

Skippy123

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Date: 4/18/2007 11:22:26 AM
Author: NYCsparkle
why not get her a pregnancy massage at a spa near her...or a mani pedi. you can go on-line and find spas near her and get her a gift certificate.
That sounds so sweet and nice. Everyone loves massages!!! Great idea! I second it
 

Ellen

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What about making (or ordering) a basket full of things like tea, bubble bath, candles, nail polish, loofah, bath salts, body spray, etc.
 

lumpkin

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I was also going to suggest a pedi or massage. Regardless of what happens, she can use it. If she''s pregnant she will appreciate the pampering and if something else happens, she''ll appreciate the comfort.
 

divergrrl

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You are so sweet. But hey...as a 36 year old who is pregnant...for the 4th time, (but I only have 1 child...so yep...you guessed it...2 miscarriages) I'd hold off sending a gift until she hits 14 weeks.

Miscarriage is a painful, heartwrenching experience. And at 39, she has a 1in 4 or 1 in 5 chance of miscarrying. Not to be a "Debbie Downer" but a really cute "congratulations" card would suffice for now (or the basket of pampering stuff for her, not the baby) because nothing is worse than having to deal with all the baby stuff people give you early when you lose a pregnancy.

Trust me on that one, I've been through it. I had to deal with some cute onesies, sleeping gowns, pregnancy & baby books, an adorable porcelain "tooth fairy" holder, stuffed animals, etc. after my first one. You just bawl and it re-opens the wound when you see those sweet things.

So card for now, full of joyful good wishes and then when she gets into her 2nd trimester you can send a gift saying "I saw this and thought of you"...

Hope this helps.

Divergrrl
 

Kismet

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Thank you all for your ideas. I like the spa idea but I''m just a bit leary of picking one at random and hoping it''s a good one and not too much of a pain to get to. I like the gift basket idea though. I think I''ll look into that.

She''s 16 weeks along now so hopefully everything will be okay this time.
 

divergrrl

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Kismet: Shoot! Well ignore everything I just wrote then! I thought perhaps she was 4 or 5 weeks along since you wrote you afraid of jinxing her. 16 weeks? This baby is here to stay! yay!!! I''m so happy for her.

Anything anyone posted would be great. I second the massage gift certificate. Try checking Citysearch.com for a place near her if she lives in a city on their site.

Diver
 

crown1

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hi kismet! i don''t know your friends style but if she is the type to wear tee shirts and flip flops when she is relaxing how about a cute pair of havianas and a tee you think she would like. i guess flip flops are ok during pregnancy and not a danger to falls. i would consider adding a nice book and something sweet also.
 

sarahthewarrior

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Along the footcare line of thinking, I was thinking one of those massaging foot spas. I got one for my sister for her wedding (she''s a waitress on her feet all day), and she loves it! I think her DH gets a little enjoyment out of it as well.

 

ladykemma

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no bath stuff, hot baths induce miscarriages and cause problems in pregnant women.

i like the idea of a pedicure, after all she won''t see her feet for a long time!
 

surfgirl

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I have to say I''m with divergrl. I gave my friend - who was 40-ish - a Congrats on Your Preg. card and she had a miscarriage shortly thereafter. When she finally got preg. again, I voiced my congrats but didn''t send anything until after the baby was born healthy. Maybe I''m superstitious or paranoid...
 

asscherisme

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I would not do anything but thats coming from my religion standpoint. By the small chance she is jewish, she would not want you doing anything as well. In the jewish tradition, you are not suppose to buy anything for the baby or gifts for the pregnancy. Its bad luck. I would wait until her baby is born to do something and then I would get her something for the baby and something nice for her. I never had a baby shower for that reason but once my babies were born, I welcomed and appreciated gifts from my friends. But again, thats me.

I did not announce my pregnancies until almost 4 months, not even to family members! I would be really careful about buying her anything. It may bring up feelings in her of fear or worry. I know you mean well and you are coming from a really good place in your thoughts and intentions but make sure she is ready to celebrate and its something that she feels she can accept. I know that if I were in her postion, I would not want anything.
 

divergrrl

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Date: 4/22/2007 5:02:27 PM
Author: ladykemma
no bath stuff, hot baths induce miscarriages and cause problems in pregnant women.

i like the idea of a pedicure, after all she won't see her feet for a long time!
LadyKemma: That's an incorrect Old Wive's Tale. She can do warm baths!!! (up to 100 degrees farenheit) My OB recommends them for back pain & muscle aches..I'm 18 weeks pregnant & bathe constantly & did with my first child too! Rule of thumb is that the water should not make you "sweat". If you are comfortable in the tub & its just nice & warm, then you are ok. The baby is protected by the m. plug, the membranes & floating in amniotic fluid, so its not like germs can get "up there" from being in the tub. I don't mean to be a stinker and correct you, but if another prego reads this and gets scared because she's been enjoying a nice warm bath while pregnant, well I'd hate to see that happen. No worries love, its perfectly safe!

What did you wind up getting your friend???

Diver
 

Tacori E-ring

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I remember saying how worried I was about having a m/c but my mom said (she is so wise) that I should be celebrating. If it happens, it happens but I shouldn''t dilute my feelings b/c of fear of the unknown. Just b/c she had a m/c does not mean she cannot have a healthy pregnancy. 16 weeks is after the danger zone for all women. Someone else had a similar thread with some great ideas. I think body pillows are always nice b/c sleeping is uncomfortable at times. RedEnvelope has some cute baby stuff.
 

lumpkin

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Tacori, are you pregnant? If so, I missed that!
 
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