Please help - had plans but now im ringless

[Brent1027]

Hello, I first wanna say that I''ve read through dozens and dozens of posts and you people are the most nicest, friendliest and helpful I''ve ever seen. So I thought I''d give it a shot and see if anyone can help me with my problem.

So my idea is to propose next month on valentines day. My plan is to have her open cute gifts everyday from the 1st to the 13th, one gift a day. I made her a card from construction paper and oragami. I cut flowers and weaved yarn through a pedal snd placed it along the inside edge to resemble a lei. On the left side is a poem I wrote for her and on the right is a letter. The letter is on a separate piece of construction paper and the top inch or so is glued leaving the rest free. The letter talks about how I feel and how I see our relationship and I lead myself into the proposal. I say "and that brings me to 3 simple questions". I have 2 written at the bottom of the page. Under the page, I made a little envelope that I would put the ring in and labled it as "#3". I would have her read the card out loud and when she reads the 2 questions, I''m banking on her to ask me what number 3 is. I would then tell her to open the flap and as she pulled out the ring I would pop the question. Pretty sweet huh?

So lately, I''ve ran into some bad luck and now don''t have enough money to buy the ring I''ve had my eyes on for a while.

So now I put the ball in your guys'' court. Please give me some ideas on what to do. I''ve read a lot of posts on ideas to propose without a ring, but none of them suit to incorporate into the card I made. The only thing I can think of is instead of verbally asking her, I put a small note saying will you marry me.

Please help me!

 

[jcarlylew82]

Brent, while i am not one to EVER EVER recommond credit - it is possible you can put it on credit? If not, do not fret!

I think any way you ask her, she will be moved by how much thought you have put into the process. Also, alot of couples have had a temporary engagement ring until they both find the setting and style they love. Maybe that will work for you two?

 

[Brent1027]

Yea, I''ve been reading a lot about that on these forums. The only problem with getting a temporary engagement ring is that she is already wearing my great grandmothers ring, which she wears on her right hand by the way.

And I don''t like the idea of getting a CZ ring, I think its kinda tacky. I''m a romantic, I''ve always dreamed of this day and now that I can''t make it perfect its killing me

 

[LadyluvsLuxury]

Brent - I am sorry to hear about your hardship. You seem like a very romantic and thoughtful guy and I am sure your girlfriend will appreciate all the thought and effort you are putting into the engagement. Only you know your entire situation so I will list some recommendations and you will have to decide what you can and cannot do.

1. Put it on credit as jcarly recommended....I really ONLY suggest this if you can get a card with zero interest for 6-months or a year...finance charges on jewelry tends to be ASTRONOMICAL!

2. If you can put ANY thing towards a ring maybe getting her something smaller like what would traditionally be used for a promise ring, or even getting a birthstone ring (depending on what her stone is this may not be as expensive)

3. You can get her a band with a diamonds in it and let her know that you want to go through the e-ring process together (MANY couples purchase the e-ring together and some women actually prefer it b/c then they have a say in their engagement ring)

4. Hold off on the engagement until you can afford to get her the ring you want

Goodluck in whatever decision you make!

 

[jmtomaui]

Brent, I too am very sorry about this sudden hit to all of your plans.

Taking one of LadyLovesLuxury idea a little further, there have been several women on this forum that have been proposed to with a simple band with a few diamonds scattered around it. They have worn it up to the wedding and then it becomes the wedding band with the engagement ring the 2 of you picked out together. She will not wear / receive the "engagement" ring until the wedding.

You get to propose with a ring that she will wear for a lifetime while continuing to save for, and plan together, the engagement ring you both want her to have.

Whatever you decide, she will love you for you. As everyone on here will tell you, the ring is nice but the strong loving marriage is priceless!

 

[Elmorton]

Why not just put your grandmother''s ring on her left hand when you propose?

A friend of mine''s brother did that when he proposed to his gf - she always wore a claddaugh ring on her right hand, so he just changed it to her left.


Re: credit for an e-ring - while I usually think buying jewelry on credit is a bad idea, part of me disagrees for an e-ring. If you can figure out an interest free payment plan and figure out a budget where you pay off the ring in one year or less, that''s completely different than choosing a ring that is nowhere near your budget and just throwing it on credit.

I see it like a car - few people can afford to buy a car in cash, but that doesn''t mean that''s the only feasible way to buy. Instead, most people find a price that they can fit in their monthly budget and pay off within a set time. If I can afford $250 a month payment, I''m not gonna buy a new Lexus SUV because that''s a lot more than I can pay off within my time frame/set aside each month, but I can certainly get a nice vehicle within my budget and pay the vehicle off within a timely manner.

But if tough times means that the future is unsure...then I''d definitely go back to my first comment - just change your grandmother''s ring to her left hand and discuss upgrading when you''re in a more comfortable financial position.

 

[njseeker]

I love the idea of putting the grandma''s ring on her left hand. you do sound very creative and romantic... perhaps (if you don''t know) ask her a lot of questions about her grandma and why she wears the ring all of the time (during or before the proposal) and incorporate that story into your proposal....

something like...

you have told me about how your grandma has always been there for you (or let her tell you about it) and that is one of the reasons you wear the ring all the time... and I would like to be that person that is always there for you (take the ring off the hand...) move it to the left... will you marry! or something like that!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 1/21/2009 3:48:11 PM
Author: njseeker
I love the idea of putting the grandma''s ring on her left hand. you do sound very creative and romantic... perhaps (if you don''t know) ask her a lot of questions about her grandma and why she wears the ring all of the time (during or before the proposal) and incorporate that story into your proposal....

something like...

you have told me about how your grandma has always been there for you (or let her tell you about it) and that is one of the reasons you wear the ring all the time... and I would like to be that person that is always there for you (take the ring off the hand...) move it to the left... will you marry! or something like that!

(Actually, he said she wears HIS great-grandmother''s ring.)

Is it an engagement ring, Brent? If it is, then I think that is a good option to just use it for the time being. If it is not an e-ring, then I''d scratch that idea.

I''m really with the others. If you can swing buying the ring on credit, then I''d say go for it. Your proposal plan sounds so sweet and perfect, I think it would be great to be able to have the ring.

 

[wishinpink]

Put a ribbon in there.

When she take it out, explain to her that you couldn''t buy her a ring, but you will buy her one she deserves one day. Will she marry you?

When she says yes, tie the ribbon on her finger.

 

[DebShine]

Is the financial situation temporary? I''m going to be the devil''s advocate here, but not just to be difficult, can you put off asking her until the first day of spring - or sometime which she wouldn''t be expecting it? Forgive me if I sound snobby - but I would want to see the physical symbol of the engagement. BUT - you know her better than I do - how do you think she would feel about it?