- Jun 15, 2015
If it helps, this is what I do, I find that it helps me to keep my purchases in check but it still allows me to dream and to “play” with jewelry and satisfy my bling urges!Haha well I'm a little afraid of what I'll be like in 2020... will it be a dam unleashed? Will I exercise restraint? I'm trying to develop a spending plan; so far I'm thinking very controlled spending with a very restricted budget and bling savings plan will be the way to do it. My "sponsor" friend suggests only making purchases to celebrate milestones (more special that way) OR to only buy things I will legitimately wear every day. I'll have to think on this.
You do know we’re gonna need to see this rose gold collection!!I culled my collection nearly 3 years ago, and it's honestly the best jewellery decision I've ever made. I had a lot of yellow gold jewellery...dozens of pairs of earrings, 15 or so rings, 10 bracelets or thereabouts, maybe a dozen necklaces...you get the idea. I used to open my jewellery box, and it was utter nonsense (to me) that I was overwhelmed wondering what to wear, or how to wear as much as possible at once without looking tacky.
I had a change of heart and fell out of love with yellow gold, and for the longest time, wished so much that my collection would magically decrease and change to rose gold. Then when hubby asked what piece I would like for our tenth wedding anniversary, it suddenly dawned on me that it wasn't time to add, it was time to change. And downsize. So with the exception of a few sentimental pieces that I will never wear must absolutely must keep, plus my e-ring, white gold diamond tennis bracelet and diamond studs, I sold the lot. EVERYTHING. And boy, did it feel great! The proceeds easily covered resetting my e-ring and studs into the blingy rose gold 5 stone I had dreamed of, plus a few basics (rose gold wedding band, earrings and bangle). For special occasions I've slowly pieced together a much smaller, but much higher quality collection.
I now have my e-ring, wedding band, 3 RHRs, 2 bracelets, a bangle, 2 necklaces, and 6 pairs of earrings. All bought or made with thought given to how they fit in with everything else. Far fewer but all with much more impact and meaning. And I am super happy!
I purchased the small Trinity ring and the Cartier love bangle. In all fairness, it was for my 40th Birthday. My husband and I planned to go on a holiday together without the kids for the first time in 14 years but then COVID happened. We hope once COVID is over we can go. Here you go:Sure is! Thank you so much <3
Haha well it takes one to know one
Oh man, I've been working on those mantras for 6 months! And most of the ideas are borrowed from elsewhere, I'm sure. Nice to have them compiled though, and I'm glad you're enjoying them.
Giving myself permission to spend and to remind myself I'm worth it and deserve it - definitely something many of us have had to work on! I'm finding that the more considered a purchase is, and the more carefully I save for something, the more I enjoy it and the less guilt I feel.
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for your kind words and your support! I love your method of wedding out bling, especially the idea that middle-tier items only looked so appealing because they weren't bottom tier! I think I'm facing that right now. It will be hard for me to part with some of my nicer things that are objectively stunning, but just not *me*.
Anyways, you're an awesome cheerleader, thank you!!
Haha well I'm a little afraid of what I'll be like in 2020... will it be a dam unleashed? Will I exercise restraint? I'm trying to develop a spending plan; so far I'm thinking very controlled spending with a very restricted budget and bling savings plan will be the way to do it. My "sponsor" friend suggests only making purchases to celebrate milestones (more special that way) OR to only buy things I will legitimately wear every day. I'll have to think on this.
Your comment makes me so happy! I can't believe you remember my excitement for the three-row band! Isn't it great that I still absolutely LOVE it? That's the dream. To buy something, to enjoy and love it - that's the goal.
Hmm and perhaps I'll create a donation link so that my sparkly readers can add to my bling fund LOL I AM COMPLETELY KIDDING but you made me laugh and gave my self-esteem a boost, so thanks for that.
I am someone who likes to rotate. My dream is a closet with pull-out jewellery drawers and I'll have my rose gold section, my platinums section, my white gold section, my yellow gold section, my sterling silver section... oh man. Is this amazing or just OCD? Lol.
But in reality, I think it makes much more sense to concentrate my funds on a smaller number of items, and things that I wear almost all the time. I can use costume jewellery to mix things up.
Aww don't beat yourself up! Do you know that I went through a stage like that, where I was really hard on myself and full of self-recrimination? I was listening to an audiobook by Russell Brand, about how he overcame his addictions*, and he relayed a story about how one day, eventually a counsellor said to him: Russell, how very brilliant of you to find a way to keep on living. You've found a way to cope with life and it allowed you to stay alive. Good job, there. But now it's time to find a way that serves you better.
Anyways, although my "bling addiction" isn't anywhere near the same level of destruction as alcoholism or drug addiction etc etc, it did make me feel a bit kinder towards myself. We all find ways to cope with life and to have a pleasant distraction. It served me for a time, but clearly a part of myself was ready for a change and ready for this challenge. It also stands mentioning that this is not the first time I've attempted a bling ban! But if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. (This also explains why my day counter is at less than 6 months - I had a little slip in January but was determined to not give up.)
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that wanting to do the work is the first step. Finding the resources is the second. Maybe finding support is the third. You'll make up your own steps. You can do anything if you really want to <3! Best wishes on your journey. (And... omg can I see the Cartier rings??? Haha I'm incorrigible.)
You can do it! And feel free to post about your thought process. Talking to other PSers has really helped me sort out my thoughts.
Can I tell you how absolutely flattered I am that anyone can remember my excitement about this ring? You are so sweet to mention that! I was, and still am, totally enamoured with this ring. I am also a bit shocked that I even wear it! Usually the things I love the most never see the light of day. (Cue my Gollum impression, haha). So the fact that I wear and enjoy this one is wonderful.
Oh - and as my bling buying has gone down, my ice cream buying has gone up. Or is that just the result of being pregnant? Hmm. Anyways as a bakery fiend I can't promise I would ever tell you to put down a donut (unless it was to pass it to me!!) but I do support admiring what you already own. It's a very satisfying practice.
This was *SO* helpful to me! Thank you for describing your process! It is very inspiring to me. I remember starting out on PS and wondering how wealthy I would have to become in order to afford something beautiful one day - but it's amazing how money can add up when you stop buying clothes or eating out. Two years ago I abstained from clothing purchases for a whole year and the bling fund was looking verrrry healthy. I love your process for resetting the 6-month wait time, and dividing up your mad money. Thanks for sharing! <3If it helps, this is what I do, I find that it helps me to keep my purchases in check but it still allows me to dream and to “play” with jewelry and satisfy my bling urges!
I maintain a bling wish list, where every item I want, whether expensive or not, goes on the list. I have everything from a diamond rivière necklace to a pair of plain gold hoops on there, but the only rule is that for something to make it on to the list I need to be able to picture myself wearing it at least a few times a year (it used to be at least 1x a month, but I want some statement pieces that won’t come out that often, so I’m comfortable with the yearly requirement). Once an item makes it on to the list, it needs to sit there for a minimum of 6 months before I am allowed to buy it. I prune this list every week or so (this can include moving an item from the “yes” to the “maybe” pile. The 6 month rule means that the piece needs to sit in the yes pile for a consecutive 6 months. The “maybe’s” are cleaned out every month or so, about half the time the piece gets removed from the list entirely. This is to weed out impulse purchases.). I’m also completely comfortable with not ever buying everything on my list or everything in my dreams. I design a lot of jewelry - I’d go broke if I tried to buy it all! I hand out design ideas for free to scratch my itch
The second step of this process is my bling fund - I maintain a separate account of my mad money, and a (fairly significant, to be honest) portion of it goes into my bling fund every month. This is the money I reserve exclusively for bling. It isn’t all my fun-money, as I do have other shopping-hobbies (purses are a big one that are also similarly restricted) and also travel etc.
Purchase rules: I am only allowed to purchase 1-2 pieces off my wish list per year. Usually I try to do 1 every six months, but it can be two close together or only 1 in a year if I buy something super expensive. I try not to set my fund to zero because I have some long term goals that are going to be major $$$ that need multi-year saving. My partner doesn’t put these restrictions btw - they’re my own. Resetting pieces to make them more wearable is not restricted to a certain number per year unless it’s ludicrously expensive, but I do need to sit on a specific reset idea for at least 6 months before I permit myself to carry it out - same rules apply. If I change my mind any time during the 6 months, the 6 month period resets. Also, if my partner or anyone (like family) wants to get me a bling gift they just give me a budget, I usually buy it myself and top up the difference from my bling fund in case I want something over budget. This doesn’t count towards my purchases of the year unless I end up spending a huge amount more.
Hope this was helpful to you or anyone else reading!
I don't? Are you suuuuure? Haha I definitely used to want every shape of diamond and every type of stone. Such a collector and hoarder! But now I'm really trying to refine my focus.I love everything about this thread! Many of the comments really resonate with my current thinking. The pandemic has made me step back and consider my behaviour and spending.
As a poster on another thread said (can’t remember who it was), “I don’t need to own all the jewellery in the world”.
Haha yes, you and I are so similar. I even bought a Chromebook years ago and then sold it a month later because I was like, "This is too expensive! I don't need this!" (Thoughts I have raaaaarely had about bling. Oh my." So yep, I can definitely relate, lol!What a fabulous thread, pearaffair! The part that really resonates with me is how somehow jewellery can bypass your "frugal brain". Last week I finally convinced myself to buy a chromebook that everyone in the family will probably use daily for the next five years. It was £200, and I was all "wow, this is a lot of money". Meanwhile, on my bling wishlist......!
"Buy better, not more". Oh man, that's getting adding to my list of mantras! Thanks! Your reset by David Klass is one of my faves, btw. Definitely a worthwhile expenditure.I feel this entire thread! I am not a big bling buyer- my theme is always buy better, not more. I had my engagement ring re-made by David Klass and I know my mother (who worked in a small independent jewelry store for fun in semi-retirement) thought it was ridiculous that I would spend money on re-making a setting and not getting anything new- but she has amassed a collection of seemingly random jewelry- she never really had a "plan" but would rather buy something she saw in an estate case, that she thought was a good deal vs. getting what she truly desired- she occasionally gifts me with some of her pieces and I often have no idea what to do with them as they don't fit with my aesthetic. She is the person closest to me, who is "into jewelry" so it's awkward.
I also think that these concepts can also be applied to one's wardrobe, home decor, etc. It's OK to want something super specific and then plan, save to get it- it's better to do that than it is to buy other smaller/lesser random things to attempt to scratch that itch!
Please do! This thread needs more pics!I'll get onto some pics on the weekend!
Aww yay! Smiles all around!This whole thread just made me smile - so thanks for that in a pandemic! PS I vote for the lab diamond studs when baby comes!
Can I tell you how much I love visual goal-setting? I am the kind of person that likes to make a "Dream board" or "goal poster" etc. But I have never done this for bling! I adore your strategy and will definitely be adopting elements of it for myself. Thank you for taking the time to share, especially by adding the photos! And congrats on reaching your goal, those earrings look awesome and I can't wait to see ear shots! Feel free to tag me in case I miss the SMTB thread.Here is what I do. I jot down just 1 item and I work hard and save and make a countdown for it. I scour the internet for ideas, print two pictures of my goal, keep one framed in my closet as a reminder and the other picture in my planner as a reminder. Don’t get me wrong, it is very hard and I am very tempted to spend before I meet my goal. But this is what keeps me on track. I also make sure that I have placed X amount of dollars in our savings account and whatever is left over after I deposit in the savings account, I just save for my bling. I have attached a picture from my calendar. This goes back to December of 2019 when I first started the countdown. I wrote on the bottom right hand corner what my goal was, then a countdown (32 more weeks to go!), then below that save save save! I have also attached a picture of my latest bling goal. This is the Picture I printed out, framed it, and it sits in my closet everyday to remind me. My earrings are in the mail as we speak. Woohoo!
Ooooo well those are classic AF and happy 40th birthday!!! I have a friend who regrets not buying herself something special when her daughter was born. It taught me that you can't go back in time and buy for a special occasion; the occasion or milestone happens, and then it's in the past. So don't regret this. Plus, not being able to go on a planned holiday would've been a real downer - I think this is an appropriate consolation price! They look amazing on you. Wouldn't mind details on that diamond band... feel free to fill me in!I purchased the small Trinity ring and the Cartier love bangle. In all fairness, it was for my 40th Birthday. My husband and I planned to go on a holiday together without the kids for the first time in 14 years but then COVID happened. We hope once COVID is over we can go. Here you go:
I was never a careful bling shopper. It is such an education to retrain myself into buying in a new way.@pearaffair Great post! I also appreciate what I own and make careful choices of new purchases. I have a few items on my wish list but I wait and avoid making impulse buys. I've often purchased a fake to make sure I would like and wear the item.
I have jewelry that I'd like to eliminate but it's so challenging to do so. I'd have to get them appraised to make sure the seller knows what they are getting. I'd previously sold items at a gold selling party but now I have a bunch of tiny loose stones sitting around in baggies.
As you wish! But it means I’ll have to see pics of your rose gold beauties, deal?Oh man, I need to know more about that Princess Diana style beauty
We should start a thread where people post their “bling goal boards”! Lol!I need to be better at being grateful and enjoying what I already have. I am always scheming... But I know better than ever that I really want have only pieces that I absolutely LOVE. I need to feel like I WANT to reach for them. So I am trying to stay focused and only pick from my list. I have bought fake pieces, worn them for a whole to figure out if I really like something. I can lust for a piece for 2-3 years, and then be "over it". I wanted an antique emerald cut for the longest time. But I finally bought some fake step cut rings, decent ones really, wore them for about a year, and then just felt I didn't like them as much as I did before. Cured. Now I don't feel any urge to get one. So weird! And I'm also very glad I didn't trade in my OEC for it.
I also want certain significant milestone pieces that require more significant budgets, which means I need to stay away from little purchases. Far away. I too think a bling goal board will help. Gotta get working on it.
Your husband’s notion of “quality over quantity” - I must add that to my list of mantras!!@pearaffair great thread and as many others have already said I think a lot of us can identify with your thoughts and story.
Your 3 row ring and princess Diana (Kate) ring are both gorgeous and I loved the stories behind them.
If I'd listened to my husband years ago I would always have gone for quality and / or only buy something I loved but that hasn't always been my case. I am sure I've sold/traded/given away more jewelry than I own many times over. I first went the cheap, inexpensive route so I could have a wide variety but I didn't really love any of them. Then I started learning more about quality and bought nicer pieces which were the only pieces i really liked to wear. Along the way and thanks to PS I started liking larger sized gemstones and diamonds. I still think I enjoy the trill of the hunt more than the actually having the jewelry in my jewelry box. I also tend to buy on impulse and generally do the guilt / remorse thing after I buy something thinking do I really like it, it it what I want, should I have spent the money? Your list would come in handy there for sure.
I have reached a point where there are very few new pieces or upgrades I want. I still probably only wear about 1/3 of my rings, about 1/4 of my earrings and pendants. I rarely put on a bracelet anymore but mostly because they scratch my laptop. And yes I've noticed the less impulse buys I make the more money I have for something I truly want.
I love that. That is BRILLIANT. I once added up the $ value of everything I had spent... it was not pretty, lol! Those little guys really add up! But it was eye-opening. However I never went the extra mile to imagine if I would replace everything, like for like, or if I would trade up for a few special things. Or even: One Ring to Rule Them All.I have been revisiting this thread and thinking about my collection.
I had a revelation! Try asking yourself the following: If I lost all my jewellery in some unthinkable event and was given a lump sum insurance payout to replace it all, what would I buy the second time around?
Would I buy as many pieces? Would I replace them all like for like, or would I have different goals if starting from scratch? If starting with a blank sheet, you are free to plan your collection carefully to ensure maximum wearability and love for each piece.
When I thought about this it was very clear to me which are the key pieces I wouldnt want to be without, and which are lovely to own but not really getting a lot of wear. It inspired me to consider listing a few pieces that I wouldnt otherwise have considered letting go. However, like you, Pearaffair, I have some items which I would never part with for sentimental reasons, even if they don't get a lot of wear.